“Don’t start,” Violet said roughly. “It was my choice to stay behind. You don’t take that away from me.”
“But—”
“And you came back for me, as soon as you learned I was alive. I haven’t forgotten that. I’ll never forget that.”
“Anyone else would have done the same,” Aster muttered.
“No, they wouldn’t have,” Violet insisted. “Nobody’s ever risked anything for me before, let alone everything. Every day I wake up and try to be worthy of you, Aster.”
There was a sudden queasiness in Aster’s belly as she swallowed Violet’s words, but it was a good feeling, a thrill, as if she were in the middle of a somersault. That girl looks down on everyone, but she looks up to you, that was what Raven had said about Violet. And Aster had been afraid to believe it, because that would have forced her to face her own growing love for this girl she had once hated. But if she truly had the courage that Violet seemed to see in her … if she truly was willing to risk everything for what she believed to be a worthy cause …
Aster met Violet’s eyes, and for the first time, she reached out to her, cradling the curve of her neck with an unsteady hand, grazing a thumb along her jawline. Violet’s lips parted in surprise. She softened under Aster’s touch, her eyes fluttering shut.
“Dawn … what are you—”
Aster closed her own eyes and leaned into Violet, their lips meeting hesitantly at first, as if each of them was afraid of hurting the other, and then with more and more urgency. Violet pulled Aster closer, sliding a hand beneath her leather jacket and around the small of her back. Aster slid her tongue past Violet’s lips, chasing the taste of her, drinking in her joy.
Aster had pressed her lips to another person’s many times before this. But this—this was her first kiss.
After an endless moment, they pulled apart breathlessly, Violet’s cheeks flushed pink. Aster was so light-headed she had to lie back on the roof to keep from tipping over the edge. Violet lay next to her, letting out a giddy laugh.
“By the Veil,” she swore, her forearm thrown across her forehead. “Where the hell did that come from?”
“I’m only sorry I kept you waiting so long,” Aster said. Her lips still tingled, and she pressed her fingers to them wonderingly. It had never felt like this before.
Violet’s hand found hers, weaving their fingers together. “It’s all right. You were being careful. So was I. After everything we’ve been through—”
“I know. I’d never want to—”
“Exactly.”
They gave up, laughing again, then rolled to face each other, pressing their foreheads together. The sun was warm on their skin, the wind gentle as a caress.
“I’m never going to let them hurt you again, Violet,” Aster promised, brushing the hair back from her forehead. “I’m ending this. Whatever it takes.”
For the first time she could remember, Aster could see a life for herself beyond the fight, and that gave her more courage to finish it than any amount of fear or anger had ever done. Reckoning Day was less than two weeks away.
They would be ready.
27
No one in their group had ever been to Crimson Glen besides Derrick. He had been shocked that his uncle was going through with the gala, especially given how much tensions had risen since the Northrock fire. But, much to Aster and Violet’s relief, he remembered enough of past galas to help them plan their infiltration of this one. They kept it simple: the local law would be prepared for the worst, so they would give it to them. The Scorpions, the Nine, and the remaining Lady Ghosts would stage a citywide riot, something on the scale of the uprisings led by the Northrock dustbloods. Fires set to buildings, statues pulled to the ground, banks emptied and all their shine returned to the people—nothing could be held back. They had to keep the badges busy.
Meanwhile, in the capitol building, Aster and her team—Tansy, Mallow, Violet, Clementine, Raven, Derrick, and Zee—would already be in place, disguised as servants. Their job was to take the whole party hostage. Derrick had told them the gala always started with a toast—if they could slip a sedative into the champagne, they could subdue everyone at once. After that, no one would be allowed in or out until the landmasters had given in to their demands.
“And if it takes days?” Tansy asked as Aster explained the plan to her friends. “There’s only so much food and water in that building. What are we supposed to do if it runs out before they’ve given in?”
“Then we go hungry,” Aster said without pause, looking around the table. “And they go with us.”
There were murmurs of surprise at that, but Aster continued before anyone could lose their nerve.
“Think about it. These are men who have never missed a meal in their lives, men who have never known more than a moment’s discomfort,” she went on. “Look how quickly the Harker brothers were broken. Their friends are no better. If it comes down to a war of attrition, I promise you they will surrender.”
“But Aster, if they don’t—”
“Then they starve,” Violet answered. She was leaning back in her chair, her long legs crossed and propped up on the table. This had been her plan, too, hers and Aster’s, and they’d stayed up late into the night to come up with it, a frenzied energy passing back and forth between them like a voltric current. Aster still hadn’t told anyone about the kiss—not even Raven, not even Clementine—but she felt a half-panicked certainty that everyone would be able to sense what they were to each other. How could anyone miss it? How had she?
“I thought we weren’t going to let anyone die on our watch,” Zee said carefully, drawing Aster’s eye away from Violet.
“You don’t have to be a part of it,” Aster told him, not unkindly. She would not force this on anyone. “None of you do. I can’t pretend this isn’t likely to be more deadly than anything else we’ve ever done—not just for them, but for us, too. But we’re going to have all the remaining landmasters in one place—the politicians and the businessmen, the old families and the new blood. Jonah Boyle. Jerrod McClennon. We have to consider that this might be a real chance, our last chance, to cut off the head of this damned rattletail. You want to know where it ends, Zee? It ends here.”
Things moved quickly after that, as they had to. Aster held a larger meeting with the Scorpions and the rebels of the Nine, and the next days were spent gathering supplies and rallying volunteers to send down to Crimson Glen. A skeleton crew of Scorpions would have to stay behind to take care of the hotfoots, but most of the boys were eager to join the fight. The Nine agreed on the condition that all precaution would be taken to avoid another massacre, and Sid suggested a network of scouts to watch the army forts nearest Crimson Glen and send word ahead if any troops were summoned so the Reckoners could retreat in time. The remaining Lady Ghosts took more convincing—some were still recovering from the tragedy at the Graveyard, while others were uncertain this was something Priscilla would have wanted. But plenty of others were glad for the chance to strike back at those who had hurt them, and they, too, started south to make their final move against the landmasters.
Once everyone else had been safely seen off, it was time at last for Aster and her team to leave. But Sam would not let them go without throwing one last party.
“This is madness,” Aster grumbled as Sam personally ladled a homemade cocktail into her empty glass. They were in the meeting hall one final time, and Sam, Cutter, and Eli had come to see them off. “How are you going to stand there and serve us bootleg punch as if we’re not all on our way beyond the Veil?”
“All the more reason to drink up,” Sam said brightly.
“What’s even in this?” Clementine asked, scrunching her nose up at her own glass. The drink was candy apple red and swirling with sediment.
“That’s actually a family secret—”
“Nah, you leave me out of it,” Eli said with a low chuckle. He had already served them dinner and was now kicked back with his hands laced behind his
smooth-shaven head, his wrinkled white apron still loose around his neck.
“I do wish you were coming with us, Eli,” Derrick piped up.
Eli raised an eyebrow. “Why? You don’t need me to save your skinny ass. I heard how you handled Harker.”
Derrick’s face reddened. “I—I hardly think I handled much of anything, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same.”
“Honest to the dead, though, I wish I was going, too,” Eli said, and his gaze flicked over to Aster. “I know you don’t need saving, either, but still … I feel like a fool, staying back while the rest of you go and risk your lives.”
“Eli, please,” Zee said before Aster had even opened her mouth to respond. “Everyone knows you’re needed here. These families won’t last long without their cook. And I need you to be Emily’s big brother for me until this is over. I’m willing to risk my life for the sake of her future, but only if there’s someone I trust looking after her.”
“Thank you, that’s what I keep telling him,” Sam said. He had finished pouring the drinks and sat down beside Raven, stretching his arm around her. “What makes you think the girls want you tagging along anyway?”
Eli leaned forward, his somber gaze still fixed on Aster. “Don’t they?”
Aster felt a flush of heat beneath her collar. He still had that effect on her, apparently, even if her messy feelings had led her to someone else. And she was sure he could sense it, too, just as she could sense that Violet, several seats down, was watching her for her reaction. But if Eli really was to stay at Camp Red Claw, this night might very well be their last together.
She owed him an answer. She only wished she knew how to give it.
“Of course we want you around, you fool,” Raven said, coming to Aster’s rescue. “Which is exactly why we can’t have you throwing your life away to play the hero.”
Aster looked at Raven gratefully, and Raven nodded almost imperceptibly. Eli’s brow furrowed, his gaze sliding away.
Aster had a hard time focusing the rest of the night, her mind clouded by apprehension. She felt removed from the others as they drank themselves giddy, Mallow challenging the boys to an arm-wrestling contest, Zee starting up some raucous rangeman’s drinking song, Derrick sharing exaggerated testaments to his spy work and Violet cheerfully declaring bullshit. This led to everyone recounting their wildest stories from the past year, the tall tales recited like wards of protection against the danger they’d soon face. Remember when the raveners chased us across the gorge … remember when Aster almost missed the train … remember when Raven set the gambling hall on fire … They’d survived before, and they would again, that was what they seemed to be telling themselves.
“It’s a miracle any of you are still alive,” Cutter said with a bewildered laugh.
Zee puffed up his chest. “They had my help.”
“That’s why it’s a miracle.”
Zee deflated, and Clementine laughed and ruffled his hair fondly. “Don’t worry, Cutter, we’ll make sure Zee gets back to camp in one piece.”
“Although,” Tansy broke in, eyes lit up with excitement, “if we’re successful in all this, we won’t even need this camp anymore. Dustbloods will be free.”
“Well, it won’t happen as fast as all that—” Derrick warned.
Mallow yanked the neck of his shirt over his head. “Shut up, we’re celebrating.”
“What, before we’ve even won?” Raven asked with a genial laugh.
“Bringing all the dustbloods together like this, and some fairblood friends, too? I’d say we’ve already won,” Clementine said, and they all, even Aster, raised their glasses to that.
Once everyone had drained the last of their drinks they dragged themselves to bed in ones and twos. They had a long journey ahead of them down to Crimson Glen, and they couldn’t jeopardize it by staying up any later than they already had. Aster lingered, though, until there was no one left but Eli, who had begun to wipe down the tables, and Violet, who hovered at her side.
“Everything all right?” Violet asked softly. “You’ve been quiet tonight.”
“Just have a lot of my mind,” Aster murmured. “But it’s nothing for you to worry about. Go on to bed.”
Violet slid a hand over her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze before turning to leave the meeting hall. Eli watched her go from the corner of his eye, dunking his dishrag into a bucket of soapy water.
“Nothing for her to worry about,” he said once Violet was gone. “What about me?”
Aster sighed, sliding down the bench to be nearer to him. “I never want you to worry on my account, Eli.”
“And yet I do.” He was no longer looking at her, focused intently on his work. “I see the way you’re pulling away from me, and I worry that I’ve done something to offend you, or worse, to hurt you. I worry that something’ll happen to you out there, and I’ll never get to make right whatever went wrong between us.”
“Nothing’s gone wrong between us,” Aster said urgently. She reached for his hand, stilling it. “It’s always felt right when I’m with you. It still does. I’ve just … been having a hard time figuring out what it is I really want. No man’s ever asked that of me before, not until I met you. It’s not something I’m used to thinking about.”
Eli looked down at their hands. He sat down across from her, his scowl softening. “Of course. I’m sorry. It was just, with you leaving, I thought maybe … but I didn’t mean to force an answer.”
“You’re not. And you’re right—you deserve to know before I go.” Aster took a breath, steadying herself as she found her courage. “I love you, Eli, truly. And I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am that you showed me I still had that kind of love in me. But if I’m being honest with myself, there’s someone else I’ve loved even longer. I just didn’t have the courage to admit until now.”
His brow crinkled, the corner of his mouth twitching, but otherwise his expression remained carefully neutral. “You can’t mean Red.”
“No. Violet.”
Confusion rippled across Eli’s face, then stilled into disappointment. He pulled his hand away.
“Violet,” he repeated.
“No one’s more surprised than me.”
“So you’re…” He seemed to be struggling for words. “You’re like Tansy and Mallow, then? You never liked men?”
“No, Violet and I are different from Tansy and Mallow … we’re different even from each other, probably. I know Violet’s always liked men, and still does. Me, I’m not sure I ever liked anybody until I got out of Green Creek. I couldn’t let myself feel much of anything in that place. So, like I said, all of this … it’s new to me.” Aster felt a twist of shame and embarrassment at that, that she should still be confused about such things when she was grown, but she pushed it down. “And Violet gets that,” Aster pressed on. “She knows, better than anyone, what I’ve been through, because she’s been through the same. I don’t have to explain myself to her, or apologize, or pretend to be something I’m not. There’s just this … trust between us. And I watched her build it, so I know how sturdy it is.”
“That … makes sense,” Eli conceded. He let out a long breath, his shoulders relaxing. “I’m only sorry you didn’t feel like you could trust me.”
“But I did. I do,” Aster said. “There are things you understand about me that a fairblood like Violet never could. It’s been a great comfort for me, being able to talk to you earnestly about those things—as I hope it has been for you. And as I hope we may continue to do.”
Eli’s mouth curved into a smile for the first time that night. “Well, don’t you worry about that. I’m sure we can work something out.”
Aster hadn’t realized how much she’d needed to hear those words until she did. Her relief spilled out of her in a laugh.
“You know,” Eli went on, leaning forward now, “before you and your friends came rambling into our little camp here, I’d just about given up on the fight. My brother’s
always been a believer, but me…” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, you remember how I was when you met me. Hiding out in the kitchen, avoiding anyone who might want to ‘talk earnestly’ with me, staying away from the action, not because I didn’t believe in the cause, but because I didn’t believe it would ever do much good. And I just want to thank you for proving me wrong. I’m a better man, a happier man, for having met you, Aster, and nothing you’ve said today changes that.”
Aster’s eyes burned with tears. Eli stood to finish his work, and, before she could lose her nerve, Aster stood too and went around the table to embrace him. Eli let out an oof of surprise as her arms wrapped around his chest. She could feel the heavy thump of his heart against her rib cage. There was no panic in her blood for once, no humming in her skull. Just the comfort of being near someone she loved. She let go before the moment could be lost.
“I’m praying to the dead we meet again, Eli. But in case we don’t—wander well.”
Eli smiled again, wider this time, pride in his eyes.
“Give them hell, Aster.”
28
They only just made it to Crimson Glen in time for Reckoning Day.
The capital of the Scab was brimming with activity when Aster and her friends arrived, the city swathed in the shadows cast by the painted red-rock canyon walls. They didn’t dare enter by way of the Bone Road, lined as it was with lawmen, so they scaled the deadwall instead, quietly subduing the patrolman on duty before climbing up and over. On the other side of the wall lay the largest city in the Scab that Aster had ever seen, its neat brick streets crisscrossing the red desert floor. Crimson Glen was not so big as Northrock, its buildings not nearly as tall or densely packed, but still, to see so many people and so many lights this deep in the Scab was startling. A carnival had even been set up on the far side of town in celebration of the holiday, the giant fun wheel at the heart of it turning with all the slow, smooth motion of a giant gear keeping the city running.
The Sisters of Reckoning Page 30