The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant, Book 5

by Pamfiloff, Mimi Jean

  “You tell me,” she says to Freddy. “You haven’t been answering any of my damned texts, and then I finally got one last night, telling us to meet you here to talk. It said: Stop texting me, you moron. Meet me at seven in the morning, in the secret lab downstairs next to the jail at HQ.”

  Huh?

  “First off, the lab is a secret,” says Freddy, “so why would I tell you where it is? And second, I sent no such—”

  As a gentleman, I do not believe in cussing as a rule. Then there are those moments in life when simple words cannot express one’s emotions. This is one of those moments. “Fuck.” I fell for it again. “Everybody run! It’s a trap.” Tucking Baby Nice under my arm like a football, I dash to grab Stella before whatever trap this is explodes.

  “Uh…who are you?” Lula’s worried voice echoes in the room.

  I look over my shoulder, and there, blocking the doorway, is an old woman with gray hair tied up into a sloppy bun. She has thick reading glasses strung around her neck, and she’s wearing a beige threadbare sweater with a knee-length skirt. I’ve never seen her before, yet everything about her is familiar—right down to the big brown eyes and determined pucker on her lips. That crossbow pointed at Freddy also rings a bell.

  “You must be the assassin who has been hunting our king,” I say, staying in character. Then it dawns on me how I know the woman. When I was manning Miriam’s library, during those years that Nice held her captive, this woman came by the library a few times asking for Miriam. She even invited me to some Fanged Love reading group parties. At the time, she had dark hair and wore large sunglasses and a muumuu, but I’m sure it was her. Must’ve been a disguise. And now that I can see her face clearly, she looks like a much older version of Miriam.

  Dear gods, it must be a great-aunt. No. Wait. Miriam’s grandmother. I had the opportunity once to read through most of the books in Miriam’s vault, where there was quite a bit of information about her family. I recall one of the records mentioning that Miriam’s grandmother had disappeared while on a vampire-hunting expedition in India.

  Well, I guess she didn’t die. And if she’s as adept at disguises as I am, then she’s probably been sneaking around our headquarters and getting information on us that way. I know for a fact she’s been lurking around Miriam’s library. Also, she probably knows her way around Miriam’s house, which was previously owned by Miriam’s parents and used as a home base for their Keeper operations. This woman could have easily snuck into the house and bugged Miriam’s phone.

  “You must be the stupid look-alike cousin.” Miriam’s grandmother glances at me and then snarls at Baby Nice. “You’re all making vampire babies now? Disgusting. You’re an abomination.”

  “No. This baby is human. Just like your granddaughter,” I say. “Ask the king yourself. He’ll tell you.”

  The old woman’s brown eyes lock on mine and flicker with curiosity.

  “I recognized your disguise,” I say, explaining how I guessed their relationship. “Also, Miriam has your lips and chin. Clearly you’re family.”

  She points her crossbow at Miriam. “Not anymore.”

  I’m about to lunge, but Lula steps between Miriam and the woman. I’m surprised by the gesture. Why would Lula put herself in harm’s way for Miriam?

  “You can’t do that. She’s your blood, and family is everything,” Lula growls.

  “Would you let one of your best hunters, the person who knows all your tricks, live if they joined the enemy’s team?”

  “Becoming a vampire was against her will. It was his fault,” Freddy says, pointing at the baby in my arms.

  Killer Granny lifts a silvery brow.

  “Never mind. It is a long story. What is important is that the king,” I glance at Freddy, “has corrected the matter. He has discovered a cure, which Miriam just took. So if you kill your granddaughter, you’ll be breaking your oath to only kill vampires, which will make you a murderer—something I know you Keepers are against. I will also add that our king is about to offer this cure to every vampire on the planet. Many will take it because they had no choice to become this way. If you kill our king, you kill the chance to make things right for someone like your granddaughter, who just wants to grow old and have children.”

  “Fine. Then I’ll kill you. The only good vampire is a dead vampire.” Killer Granny raises her crossbow right at me.

  “Don’t hurt him!” Stella runs in front of me, with Miriam’s trademark defiant gleam in her brown eyes. “He’s good. He helps people.”

  The old woman’s eyes blink with hatred as she stares at Stella. “Can your cure remove the evil from this spawn of Satan?”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” says Lula. “Hold the hate speech, Raisin Face. She’s a little girl, and everyone knows you can’t call them things like that or they’ll end up like me, dancing on stripper poles.” Lula pauses and looks at Freddy, still not catching on that we’ve switched places. “She also betrayed her best friend and is really sorry.”

  “I forgive you,” Freddy says.

  Lula claps. “Yay!”

  “No. You don’t,” I snap.

  Lula sticks out her lower lip.

  “You’re all a bunch of bloodsucking lunatics.” Granny wiggles the crossbow at me. “Give me that baby. I’m not letting you suck the life out of him.”

  “You’ll get no argument from any of us.” Lula walks over, takes Baby Nice from my arms, and holds him out to Granny. “Good luck raising the evil bastard. Maybe you’ll do a better job than Nice’s first set of parents.”

  “That is Mr. Nice?” Granny steps back, refusing to drop her crossbow.

  “We had a small complication with the vampire cure, but that’s all worked out now,” Freddy says. “Miriam took it, and she seems fine.”

  Right on cue, Miriam sits up on the gurney, groaning and pushing her hands to her temples. “Ow…my head hurts.”

  “Miriam, thank goodness,” Freddy says. “Tell your grandma that you’re fine and human and that she should leave now to let us do our work.”

  Miriam’s eyes sweep the faces in the room and then land on her grandma. “Grandma? What are you doing here? Where are we? Why do you have your crossbow out?”

  “Miriam, you are in the lab. The king’s lab. Tell your grandmother you’re human now,” I say, knowing the old woman must be convinced not to harm anyone here, because it is for that mother-bleeping greater good they all love so much.

  Miriam rubs her eyes. “Who are these people? Why do you look older than I remember, Grandma?”

  Huh?

  “Come here, child.” Her grandma motions frantically. “They’re vampires. We need to go.”

  Miriam slides slowly off the gurney and stands beside Granny, seeking protection.

  “Miriam, don’t you remember me? I mean—our king?” I say.

  Her silent reply is all I need to know that something’s happened. Something very, very bad.

  Christ. I am such a fool! If age is effected by this cure, then memory would be, too. The brain cells are being scrubbed clean of an intruder that was doing part of the work.

  “Grandma, let’s go. Please?” Miriam tugs on the back of her granny’s sweater. “I don’t feel well.”

  “How? Tell me how? Is it your head? Your stomach? I need to know, Miriam,” I say. It could be a clue as to where I went wrong.

  “Mommy, where are you going?” Hot tears start streaming down Stella’s red cheeks. I had not noticed until now, but Freddy has ahold of her arm. She wants to go to her mother.

  Part of me wishes I did not have my feelings back. This is almost too painful to watch.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” I say to my daughter. “Your mommy just needs time to remember.” It’s a lie. I screwed up. Again. All my best intentions, and here we are. Me loving Miriam. Miriam human again with no knowledge of the pain it took us to get here. Over five long years. One damned hurdle after another.

  “No. She does not,” Granny growls at me.

 
; “But why is that girl crying and calling me mommy?” Miriam mumbles at Granny. I can tell my librarian is still out of it.

  “Because they’re vampires, and they want to trick you so they can drink your blood. Now run. Stairs are down the hall to the left. There’s a blue Smart car at the curb. I’ll be right behind you.”

  Granny knows the building well. So I was right. She has been snooping around. I bet she’s the one who tripped the alarm yesterday, too.

  “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Miriam asks her grandma.

  “Yes. Now go!”

  Miriam takes off without so much as a glance our way.

  My heart feels like it’s being torn out and danced on. A polka dance. Very unpleasant. Worst of all, it sounds as though my librarian’s getaway car is the Caca Azul reboot.

  Why must my manhood always be tormented so by such vehicles? I make a mental note to buy the factory and shut it down.

  “And you! Wipe that angry look off your face,” Granny raises that crossbow at Freddy again and snarls. “We both know I’m doing my granddaughter a favor. You were never good enough for her and never will be. Stay. Away.”

  “But he loves her,” I say, my anger starting to get the best of me. “He would do anything for her.” I’m speaking for myself, of course.

  “He’ll only corrupt her again, and I can’t have that.” Granny steps back, keeping that arrow pointed straight at Freddy’s heart. I have the feeling she won’t miss this time. “Thank you for doing something good for once in your dark, violent life, and giving me back my granddaughter; but if you go anywhere near her, if I get so much as a whiff of a vampire sniffing around us—especially you, Executioner—I will kill her. Do you understand? I’d rather she be dead than cavorting with you vile, unholy monsters again.”

  My lips smashed together in a hard line as I watch Granny go. I know I am faster and stronger, but this woman is wily and well trained. If she got in a lucky shot, what would become of Stella? Now more than ever, I have to put my daughter first.

  “We’ll follow them,” says Lula.

  Before I can object, she and Alex are gone. I can only hope that they don’t get too close.

  Stella runs to me, bawling into my kneecaps.

  I pet the back of her long blonde hair. “Hush, little one. All will be well.” But my effort to soothe her does nothing. Can’t blame her. I want to cry too. I crouch down and hug Stella hard. “We will get her back. I promise, Stella. You will have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, a perfect life. We won’t rest until you do.”

  In my heart this is not a lie, because I believe it. I know it.

  Our story cannot end like this. Life cannot be so cruel.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  After I calm Stella, I call Gretta and tell her to meet us in my office. The darkest, deepest corners of my undead heart want to go and hunt down Killer Granny and end her life—no. Wait. Make her into a vampire. Then give her the serum and make her be Baby Nice’s playmate. But revenge is a dish best left to fate. Nevertheless, I have no words for the frustration and anger I feel—mostly at myself for this serum blunder and at that damned old woman for hijacking my librarian.

  Surprisingly, Lula and Alex returned shortly after they left, claiming the old woman slipped away.

  Granny is a very sly Keeper, indeed. She also seems a little screwy, which worries me when I think of Miriam in her care.

  But I have learned from my mistakes, and I know what Miriam would want. I must do right by those who had their mortal lives stolen by vampires. Some were forced to leave behind children, spouses, friends and parents. So, whatever loss I may be feeling in this moment, it does not compare to their suffering.

  This will be my final act as king. One for the history books.

  The official text goes out to all five hundred and eighty-two societies. An emergency meeting called by the king. Those who are local will gather in the great meeting hall on the ground floor. Everyone else will Skype.

  “Are you sure you are okay with this?” I ask Freddy, straightening out his blood-red tie in my office. Ex-office. After this, everything is his. Throne, cars, houses, most of my money, and vampire ice-cream shop downstairs. It won’t make up for what I did to him, but it is a start.

  His dark eyes fill with pride. “This is my chance to change the world for the better. I think I was destined for this role.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” I never wanted to be king. I never wanted power. I took the role because I knew I could keep the peace and weed out the vampires who have no regard for human life. Those vampires fail to understand one simple fact: Humans can live without us. But we cannot live without them. And that is why they must always be protected. For better or worse, they are the species that makes this world what it is.

  “Do you think anyone will notice their king is different?” Freddy asks.

  “Doubtful. Especially if you stick to the script.” Be ruthless when it comes to enforcing our laws. Do not show your true heart to anyone. Wear nice suits. And, above all, let no one touch your damned books. If Freddy sticks to this, nobody will catch on. Gretta will remain by his side to help. She is down to earth, well educated, and beautiful. I already have a feeling that their relationship might turn into something genuine. Lots of flirty exchanges happening. And if she keeps wearing those tight pantsuits with no blouse underneath, Freddy will not be able to resist.

  Maybe he’ll finally lose his virginity…poor guy. Never did understand why he wanted to live in a monastery. Celibacy is very unnatural for a vampire.

  “Ready?” Gretta appears on cue with her hot-pink lips, blazer cleavage, and bright smile.

  I give her a knowing look. “Yes, your king here was just going through his speech one last time. He’s ready.”

  “I do not need you, cousin, to tell her that. I am king. I have a mouth and can speak for myself,” Freddy says in a cold, unfeeling voice and gives me a wink.

  Very good impersonation! My balls even quivered with a little fear. Excellent.

  He stretches out his hand to Gretta, who goes all goo-goo eyes. Yes, I think we do have a match.

  “Daddy!” Stella comes running through the doorway. I sweep her into my arms and then look around to make sure no one saw that. Just Gretta and Freddy. A relief.

  “Baby, you must be more careful. You are to call me Freddy now. Okay? And where are Lula and Alex?” They are supposed to be watching her. Two minutes. That’s all Freddy asked.

  “They said they had to leave,” she tells me in her tiny voice.

  “Leave? To where?” I ask.

  “Auntie Lula said she had to take care of something very important.”

  More important than watching my daughter?

  Stella adds, “Oh, and she said she had to borrow your ice-cream truck.”

  I just bought that thing! I thought it would be nice for special events. I slide my phone from my pocket and call Lula. No answer. Calling Alex results in the same.

  “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her again. They probably decided to take off on their honeymoon.” So like Lula to simply up and leave in the middle of a big moment.

  “A problem for another day. Everyone is waiting,” Freddy says.

  “I know.” I bob my head. I cannot lose sleep over another of Lula’s childish, selfish actions. I have enough on my plate, trying to ensure Freddy takes over without issues, administering the cure, and figuring out how to get Miriam back without risking her life. I have no doubt her grandma will kill her if I disobey. She’s already tried twice.

  “Let us go,” I say.

  Freddy, Gretta, Stella, and I take the elevator to the ground floor and enter the great hall.

  “Good luck, sir,” I say. Stella and I hang back near the rear door while Freddy and Gretta take the stage.

  “Can we get bloody ice cream after this?” Stella asks.

  Aww… Hearing her take a step toward accepting her vampire-self warms my vampire blood. “Yes. But only if you’re a goo
d girl and be very quiet. Our king is about to speak.” I straighten my back and beam with pride toward the front of the great hall. I hope this works. We have to prove the serum is real, but our proof left the building. And took my heart with her.

  I lift my chin and watch with bated breath. The meeting hall is packed, and every vampire is abuzz with gossip:

  “What could this be about?”

  “I heard his librarian dumped him and now he’s with Gretta.”

  “He’s so hot. Not like his lame doppelganger cousin.”

  Lame? I mentally shrug. At least the gossip is working as planned.

  “Ready, sir.” The IT guy gives Freddy the nod. The societies are all online and watching. Freddy is about to make history and change the world forever.

  He steps up to the microphone and clears his throat. “Fellow society members…” He tells the crowd about his miraculous discovery and the side effects. The room is so silent and still, you could hear a bat flap its wings from a mile away. I cannot tell if they think the king has lost his mind or if they are in awe.

  The king continues, explaining that while the cure might not be perfect, it is a chance to rewind the clock and start over. “We can give you back a piece of the life you once had.”

  A frenzy of snickers and skeptical whispers fills the room.

  No one believes him. Of course, being the smart vampires that we are, Freddy is prepared.

  He nods at the guards, who leave and return with a woman with a brown bob, wearing an orange jumpsuit. Her name is Viviana. She was once my assistant while I led the Society of Sunshine Love in Arizona, and was put in jail for treason. She fed information to Clive during the Uprising, and while I know her betrayal was justification to have her executed, I also know she feared for her children’s well-being. She was very young when she was turned, and she hasn’t been a vampire long. Her entire human family was used as leverage against her.

  “Michael?” Vivian’s teary eyes lock onto Freddy, who’s still standing on the stage with Gretta. “Please don’t dust me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”