Georgian spoke up then “I had such a fright when he and Richard arrived back at Darcy House. Normally Fitzwilliam jumps out of the carriage before it is even stopped. That day I don’t think he even knew where he was. He gave no resistance when he was carried up to his room. The doctor said that it was only a bad cold, but he was so distressed, Elizabeth. The only words that came out of his mouth for a month and a half was when he called for you. He kept mumbling about your sister and Mr. Bingley also. For a while we all,” here she burst into tears. Elizabeth and Darcy both pulled her into a shared hug “for a while we all feared that the worst might happen. There was no fight in him.”
“I’m sorry for causing you so much grief, poppet,” Darcy mumbled into Georgiana’s hair. “The pain was too raw. After about a week my mind had cleared enough of the fever that I was able to think again. It was then that the pain ripped through me. My world looked black and I could no longer see a future. The only words that went through my brain like a mantra was that Elizabeth hated me. Elizabeth had refused me. I felt condemned to live my life alone. All the painful memories that I had hidden behind walls in my mind flooded my memory. Once more I saw my friend Jeremy’s lifeless body on my school bedroom floor. I saw Mother in her coffin, and my tortured brain morphed fathers face in his coffin, into my own. It was like a living death to me. I wanted Elizabeth beside me, but could not ask for her. Visions danced before my eyes of Jane and Bingley suffering because of my actions. I cried out, yet no one heard. I was in my own lost world, like I had been after Jeremy’s death. I felt fractured into so many little pieces. Slowly, my mind put together the things where I had some guilt and needed absolution. Things that I needed to change in my character. Only once that happened did I my body begin to mend. I knew when you and Richard were beside my bed, but I had not the strength to even so much as open my eyes. My heart was so burdened. Throughout it all the one presence I most needed was the one that I felt most that they were not there.”
This emotional revelation of Darcy's stunned the group. The rest of the Earl’s party had arrived. Yet the pain that rippled out from Darcy made them stop in the doorway. Silence fell over the room. None had realised the extent of pain that Darcy carried since his friend’s death at school. Each person in the party feeling as if they had failed the rest. None moved. None knew quite what to say.
The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
It was Fitzwilliam who broke the stupor that had fallen over the room. His brash army lifestyle meant he forgot the sensibilities of the ladies present. “Bloody hell, Darce! None of us knew that you were suffering that much!” As one the ladies turned and gaped at Fitzwilliam. None of them had been exposed to such language in their lives.
“Why would any of you, except Georgiana? Not one of you thought that I might be hiding my emotions. None though that I might actually not be as strong and confident as I portrayed to others! After Mother and Father died, all anyone was worried about was did we need help on the estate. Not once, did anyone ask if I was coping with my own emotions! Georgiana and I were left to cope as best we could.” Darcy’s countenance was fierce. Their guilt for not realising his pain was in his opinion too little too late.
“Darce, that’s unfair! You hid your emotions too well. We could have no idea” Fitzwilliam defended. "How can we know what you do not tell us? We're not mind readers!"
“You didn’t even think to ask!” Darcy Responded.
“It’s fine Richard, we do hold some guilt in this, Darcy is right. Marjorie and I should have known that he would be in so much pain. We knew that there was pain after Jeremy died. Darcy had nearly two years where he did not speak at all. We should have known then that he would always carry the pain inside. Anne worried about Darcy. She died not knowing that he would regain his voice or what a strong young man he would become. She often asked Marjorie and me to look after him after she was gone. I’m so sorry we failed.” The Earl said. The viscount and his wife excused themselves as she was not feeling well.
Elizabeth checked her watch and found that if they did not leave soon they would be late for tea with the Lucas’. She was not sure of the protocol of removing themselves in such a situation. She spoke with a quiet force that brought everyone together in a rush. “Sorry, Darcy, this is something that we will have to revisit at a later time. Right now, if we don’t make a move our good friend Sir William Lucas, will think that we all intend to slight his family. We are in danger of being late for tea.” Darcy’s uncle was reminded of his own wife when they were young. He knew that Elizabeth was heading to be a leader in the Ton. Lady Matlock noted Elizabeth’s tact and discretion. This had threatened to be an explosive family gathering. She also held in her heart the need to deal with this sooner rather than later. She was not sure if this could be dealt with until after the wedding, but deal with it the family would! If it was the last thing she did, Lady Matlock would make sure that the well-being of her family was looked after. She herself had allowed this to go on for too long. She’d let her sister-in-law down. She would not fail her again.
“Uncle, Aunt. Please, would you join us at Longbourn this evening for a family dinner?” Darcy asked. Elizabeth seconded the invitation, and the invitation was accepted. The Earl’s family was to use their carriage to go to Lucas’ lodge and Darcy begged them to take Georgiana with him. He was desperate to spend some time with Elizabeth on his own. This was agreeable to all. They all set off at the same time Darcy and Elizabeth chose to walk and so would arrive last.
The walk to Lucas Lodge was gentle and agreeable. The road and the lane that led to Lucas Lodge bordered a wooded area. As soon as they were away from the town, Darcy and Elizabeth stepped off the main road in favour of the trees. Darcy’s emotions were raw. His revelation back at the Meryton inn had exhausted him. He had placed an untenable burden on Elizabeth’s shoulders. He needed absolution. He needed her. The trees helped to calm his tortured soul. He had always loved being in the woods, and now another image was burning its way through Darcy’s mind. He feared that he was a beast. For all he could think about was taking Elizabeth against one of those trees. Eventually, he broke the silence. “Do we have time to talk before we carry on to Lucas Lodge?”
“Not as much time as our discussion will need. Fitzwilliam, my love” They had stopped and looked at each other. Both knew that their thoughts were running in a similar direction. Elizabeth looked so lovely and was again caressing his jaw in her gentle way. Her eyes were sparkling, but he could see his pain reflected in her eyes. He could not resist her siren call, not now. Not this time. Drowning in her eyes, he shut away thoughts that they would be late and forgot all propriety. He showed her how much he loved and needed her.
Despite their little interlude, Darcy and Elizabeth arrived at Lucas Lodge on time. Jane arrived with the Bingleys at the same time. Caroline Bingley seemed to be in high dudgeon, but Mr Bingley and Jane kept her in line. Mr John Lucas, however, seemed to take it upon himself to get Miss Bingley to smile. He spent the whole of tea time with Miss Bingley. Indeed, it seemed that John Lucas had become enamoured of the Miss Bingley. He pursued her most relentlessly. Mr Collins had already left to console Lady Catherine, who was on her own at Rosings. The ever-sensible Charlotte Collins could go abroad in society. She would not be blushing for her husband every five minutes. It was now clear that she was increasing so she often missed events of the social calendar. Sir and Lady Lucas were everything hospitable and kind. They adapted to their elevated guests as much as if they had met members of the peerage every day. By 5 o’clock that afternoon, all took their leave but would meet again for supper at Longbourn that evening.
When Darcy and Elizabeth arrived back at Longbourn, the house seemed to be eerily quiet. Darcy and Elizabeth almost ran up the stairs and that was when they heard it. There were the sounds of retching coming from Mary’s room. Mrs
Bennet’s wails were the only other sound that penetrated through the closed doors. Elizabeth looked at Darcy. He moved her past the door and pulled her into his room. “Oh, Fitzwilliam, right when I think things cannot get any worse” Elizabeth cried.
“Hush, my love, we don’t know what it was that we heard” Darcy stated. If I ever get my hands on that bloody gypsy they will not live to see the light of another day. Between the retching sounds and Mrs Bennet’s wails we can guess what it bloody means. He was about to kiss Elizabeth when the doorbell was pulled. Elizabeth sighed and pulled away. They made their way downstairs and met Mr Bennet in the hallway. Mrs Hill was admitting Mr Phillips head clerk, Mr Jones. Mr Jones blinked at seeing the small group in the entrance hall. “Mr Jones, Welcome. May I help you?” Mr Bennet asked.
“Yes, sir. Might I have a few minutes of your time, please?” Mr Jones wrung his hands. Darcy felt sorry for him. This young man seemed to have so little self-confidence, and Mr Bennet’s sense of humour would not help him. There was nothing that Darcy could do to make his way easier.
“Certainly. Please, would you follow me into my study?” Mr Bennet didn’t wait for the young man to answer before he moved off to his study on the right. Mr Jones dumbly followed.
“Your father’s going to eat him alive, especially if he’s here to do what I suspect he is.” Darcy smiled an enigmatic smile. He knew it would inflame Elizabeth’s curiosity further. She arched her eyebrow and stood there waiting for him to tell her. He smiled back and then turned to return to his bedroom. Elizabeth would have none of his tricks. She decided to play him at his game and ran up the stairs. She passed him without a second glance and made to head into her room to start preparing for supper. Darcy grabbed her around her waist as she went passed and pressed a firm kiss to her lips.
“You, sir, can be the most infuriating and maddening man alive!” Elizabeth declared, before once again advancing towards her room.
“Well, I suppose you don’t want to know what I overheard last night then. I suppose I will keep my information. You will have to wait for your father’s announcement,” Darcy threw out casually as he stood in his open bedroom door.
“Hmph! This had better be good” Elizabeth stated as she entered Darcy’s room.
“Oh, it is” Darcy closed the door. He and Elizabeth sat on the ottoman in his room. “Last night, Mary spent most of her evening with our Mr Jones that is now speaking with your father. I heard her explaining what had happened during the attack. I kept watch and made sure that no one came near where they were sitting. The attack was more horrific than we realised. What she told him, it made me cringe and want to apologise for being male. Last night they agreed to marry. He’s more aware of the possibilities than any of us are, or at least he should be.” He drew Elizabeth into a quick hug, and then they separated to change for supper.
Gold is a treasure, and he who possesses it does all he wishes to in this world, and succeeds in helping souls into paradise.
Christopher Columbus
Mary's engagement to Mr Jones was, as expected, announced over dinner.
The next morning Darcy only briefly saw Elizabeth and Georgiana. His and Mr Gardiner's attorney's had arrived together. The settlement papers required only the gentlemen's signatures. Darcy and Mr Bennet retired to Mr Bennet's library. They were satisfied with the content and signed them. Darcy and his attorney completed the paperwork on his mother's bequest to Elizabeth.
"Mr Bennet" Started Darcy's attorney. "The late Lady Darcy, when she was dying, foresaw that her son might fall in love with a woman who may not have a dowry. She provided in her will that a bequest should be put aside for his future wife. This bequest your daughter was informed of at the ball, by Lady Hapsburg. All that remains is for Mr Darcy to sign his mother's bequest to become a part of Miss Elizabeth's Dowry."
"I am perfectly ready to sign that paper and do so willingly." Said, Darcy
"Well...I don't know what to say. Mr Darcy you have surprised me, I had no idea. I can see where it is you get your generous nature from now." Said Mr Bennet shocked. “is this certain?"
"Yes, sir, quite certain, I wasn't aware of it. I wasn't to be aware of it until such a time as I had made my choice. You see, sir, when I and my Cousin Anne deBourg were born, my aunt got it in her head that we would marry. Thereby uniting the two estates of Pemberley and Rosings. As I grew up I became determined early on that I would not marry, especially not Anne. My mother was not aware of that and put in place two plans. The one plan was to boost my sister's fortune to fifty thousand pounds. In the other plan my bride would have a fortune of at least twenty thousand pounds. That is on top of her settlement. My mother was a gentle soul sir, and the letter she wrote explaining her intentions I have since read. She put it in such terms to say that she had disapproved of my aunt's schemes. My aunt, is a woman of strength and domineering character. She does not take no for an answer. It was easier to ignore her and not marry anyone – until I met Elizabeth and fell deeply in love." Explained Darcy.
"Yes, indeed. The late Mrs Darcy was very concerned that her son should marry for love. She had sought our advice several times. It was only when she was dying that she wrote the letters that have since been delivered." Darcy’s attorney stated. Darcy now signed the documents relating to his mother's last bequest. His mother's gift was now a part of Elizabeth's settlement. He signed his new will and all other legal documents relating to the wedding.
"You see sir, Elizabeth will never want for anything." Darcy was now secure that he would have his bride. He was also now confident that would be secure and comfortable the rest of her life. She could and would have the best of everything, for she was his only object. Pemberley would be hers until her death – nothing else would do! Especially if he died before her. He had re-made his will in her favour and specified how his fortune would be divided on the point of his death. His eldest son would inherit the townhouse immediately on his death. The Pemberley estate would pass to his wife if he died first, and then to his eldest son on her death. If they had no sons, then Pemberley and the townhouse would pass to his eldest daughter. As for his fortune, the bulk of would pass to the eldest son (or daughter if he had no sons) with the Pemberley Estate. The rest of his children were to have an equal share in the sum of one hundred thousand pounds. Darcy now had organised everything to his own satisfaction. Mr Bennet was awed by the way Darcy had dealt with the business. They left the library two hours later. Darcy and Mr Bennet retired to the morning room, where the family was assembled. Charlotte and Maria had come back with Elizabeth and Georgiana. His uncle and aunt had met Elizabeth by accident in Meryton, and also agreed to come back and visit for a while. Darcy was aware that he needed to deal with the Pemberley business. Darcy invited his aunt and uncle to dine with them that day and for the rest of the week. The invitation was readily accepted for that night and most of the week. They regretted that they were already engaged for Tuesday and Thursday. Dinner engagements were coming in from the surrounding neighbours. Darcy excused himself to deal with the Pemberley business that had arrived the previous day. It had not been dealt with due to its non-urgent nature and the ball being held that night. Darcy practically ran to his room. He re-read Mrs Reynolds letter and also the letter from his steward. The first letter had been jointly addressed to him and Elizabeth. It would be easier dealt with jointly. Not because he couldn't do it himself, but he wanted Elizabeth to settle at Pemberley quickly. Mrs Reynolds letter was mainly to do with the pantry, the cook and the menus for the ball in January. He was about to call for Elizabeth. He then thought that it might be better to discuss this with Elizabeth when they were alone. So he turned his attention to his steward's letter. This letter was much more to the point. There was trouble in the kitchens as two of the scullery maids had been caught stealing. They had to be dismissed, one of the footmen also had to be replaced. He was not an honourable enough young man to represent the noble house of Darcy. The trout stream had less trout in it than it should have. P
oachers had been caught poaching some of the trout and other fish in the rivers. A decision needed to be made whether he wanted the law to deal with those poachers. This Darcy decided should be done. The servants must be replaced. Between Mrs Reynolds and the steward, new servants must be hired. There was an unpleasant shock for Darcy in that letter. The week that Elizabeth and he had planned to spend at Netherfield proved to be impossible. He was needed back in Pemberley for he must settle the disputes between his tenants. He would also need to inspect the production of his fields as well. He wrote that he would not be back before his wedding. He promised to return to Pemberley the day after his wedding. He would, therefore, settle these matters the second week of December. Then taking Mrs Reynolds letter he went downstairs and once more joined the party. The guests, had left and were due to return later on for dinner. This left Darcy time to talk over Mrs Reynolds letter with Elizabeth. He wrote the second letter, both of which would go to Pemberley that day. Elizabeth, when reading Mrs Reynolds letter, noted the solution. Soon between them everything was sorted and they were at leisure to join Jane and Bingley.
1812 How It All Began- Part 2 Page 27