“They attacked her and hurt her badly,” he continued, his words tumbling over each other. “They blinded her, and I tried to help her, and I jumped and fought but I had to run! There were too many…" His voice trailed off again helplessly.
John was still quiet on the line. Honi waited, then whispered, “John? You still there?”
The shaman grunted, then Honi heard a deep inhale. “Yes. I get a feeling that this isn’t good. Something about this girl is provoking the spirit world, and that can’t be good for any of us. I’ve only ever heard of one case like this, and it didn’t end well.” Again he stopped and Honi could hear his loud breathing through the phone line.
Then he continued in his slow, measured way, “Many years ago, there was a young man over in Custer County—Weatherford, if I remember correctly. He had terrible nightmares. Every night he screamed himself awake. Then one day he disappeared and was found dead in the hills. The coroner declared it death from exposure. There wasn’t much left of him. Coyotes had seen to that.
“But just before he disappeared, he started talking about seeing all kinds of animals following him, and saying that they were hunting him, even into his dreams. Nobody took it seriously. His friends thought he was trying to draw attention after his girlfriend ran out on him.”
Another long moment of silence. “His father asked me to look at the body, and I could feel that something wasn’t right. There were wounds on the poor kid that didn’t look like coyote bites. You know, he looked like he’d been attacked by lots of different animals—birds, coyotes, snakes.”
Honi held the phone tighter to his ear. “So what, you think this’ll happen to Adi?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t around to talk to the boy then. When I saw his body, it was too late. But I have a feeling that your friend might be in danger. Hang on a second.”
John put his receiver down, and Honi could hear him talk to somebody. After a moment, he was back on the line.
“I’m really sorry. I’d like to come down and speak to her myself. Unfortunately I’m leaving for South Dakota tomorrow and won’t be back for a week. You need to talk to her, Honi.”
“Talk about what, exactly?”
“About what she sees, whether she has nightmares. Find out if she has the gift and tell me.”
“I don’t know, I don’t know her that well…" Honi trailed off.
“Try. It might not just be her in danger.” And with these cryptic words, the shaman hung up.
Honi looked at his phone’s display, deep in thought. When he raised his head, Adi walked into his field of vision. If anything, she looked even worse than yesterday. Although her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the style couldn't hide the greasiness of the strands pulled tight over her ears. There were shadows around her eyes that hadn't been there before.
As Honi turned her way, every single spirit animal in the square turned with him and stared at the slight girl. The feeling of wrongness, of unbalance, made him nauseous. Ho’neo growled and slunk closer, tail between his legs. What the hell was going on?
He walked a little faster and then realized what had bothered him from the moment he had met her. Where was hers? Where was Adi’s animal? If he could see everybody else's, why could he not see hers?
When he drew closer, Adi looked up and met his eyes. Did she ever wear anything else but her gray hoodie with ratty jeans and sneakers? He stopped in front of her and smiled. Adi smiled back tentatively.
"Hey, you're up early," she said.
"Yeah, couldn't sleep. Weird dreams," he responded casually while watching her closely. She flinched a little when he mentioned the dreams. He had suspected that her presence in his vision wasn't accidental, and he really wanted to confirm whether she could remember being there.
"We have half an hour before class. Wanna join me for a quick bite to eat?”
Adi hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Together they walked across campus to the only decent coffee shop close by. Honi spent more than he could afford on two scrambled eggs with chives and bacon. When Adi's face lit up at the sight of the plate in front of her, he was glad that he had.
Once they were both scraping the last bit of food off their plates, it was time to find out how much Adi knew about her ability.
"So I've been having some weird dreams lately," he began. Adi's eyes snapped up to his, and he tried to return her gaze as calmly as he could.
"Funny thing is that you were in my last dream," he continued. Then he waited.
Adi spent a long time chasing a piece of chive across her plate with what Honi assumed was her “thinking face”. Then she asked, "Why would I be in your dream? You know that sounds seriously weird, right?"
Honi grinned. "Yeah, but not as weird as having you appear in my spirit journey."
“What? Okay, I’m intrigued. What the heck is a spirit journey? Is that some Indian thing?”
Honi chuckled. “We prefer Native American. Well, there are a lot of names you can use, although Indian isn’t one of them. That’s a whole different continent.”
Adi blushed. It looked good on her. “Sorry. What should I call you, then?”
“How about Honi?" he said drily. “I’m Mekui’te and moved here from Oklahoma. Your turn.”
Adi smiled hesitantly, then said, “Well, you know my name is Adi and I moved here from Germany. My father was American, my mom German. I grew up in a town called Frankfurt, and I’ve been back in the States for a couple of years.”
"And? Do you like it?"
“Yeah, it's great. I've been back to the USA a few times. My father was keen on keeping in touch with his family."
Honi noticed that she didn't say "my family”. There was a story there, but he didn't want to pry. He thoughtfully took a sip from his Darjeeling while keeping eye contact with Adi. Wow, she did have beautiful eyes. The morning light lit up her whole face, and now that he sat opposite her, he could appreciate the color of her irises. He wasn't really a man of words and he couldn't think of a good description. Amber, maybe? Just then, her eyes began to narrow. Oh crap, he was staring at her, wasn't he? He quickly changed tack. There wasn't a lot of time left before class.
"So… the reason I wanted to talk to you," he began. Adi waited politely. "I had the weirdest dream last night. It was kinda scary and you were in it."
"Okay, that doesn't sound any less weird the second time you say that," Adi said drily.
"Hear me out. There is a Mekui’te tradition where young boys go through a test before they become men." When Adi raised an eyebrow, Honi smiled ruefully. "Yeah, it's old-fashioned and not many kids do it nowadays, but I did. So during this test, the boy is sent into the wilderness and has to fend for himself. The idea is that he gets himself into a state of altered consciousness and finds his spirit animal, his guide, that will be with him for the rest of his life."
Adi frowned. "Sorry, are you saying that you send children out by themselves? What if they're attacked by animals or have an accident? Is that even legal?"
Honi laughed. "In the olden days, it was a test to see if the child would survive and become a worthy warrior. Nowadays the kid is more protected than if he went shopping at Walmart. My dad and his friend, other family members, even my mom, were always around me, making sure I didn't get into any situation I couldn't get out of. I didn't know until after, so it was still scary."
"Wow, that's a great tradition," Adi interrupted. "So the child has the illusion of being tough and capable but at the same time is totally safe?"
Honi looked at her sharply but couldn't detect any sarcasm. He felt pleased that she got the point of it.
"Yeah, when I walked back to our village, I felt ten feet tall. And even when I found out much later that there’d never been any danger, it didn't make the achievement smaller." Adi was leaning forward, listening intently.
"Sleeping under the stars, hearing the coyotes howl, that was an experience I wouldn't want to miss. One of the greatest of my life so far, actually." Honi and Adi
shared a genuine smile.
Then Adi asked, "So did you find what your spirit animal is?"
Honi turned serious. "Yes, I did. And that's why I wanted to talk to you. During the third night, I had a vision of a large wolf walking towards me. I was half-asleep, but the animal looked and felt real. I remember not being very scared. The minute I looked at him, I knew what he was. And he's been with me ever since." Adi’s eyes widened. Honi resisted the temptation to pat Ho’neo’s head next to his knees.
"So last night I had another dream. This time I was the wolf. And I met you in the spirit world. You knew me, and we were friends." Adi scooted back a fraction, clearly starting to freak out a little. Honi hesitated, but he knew he had to continue.
"The dream was beautiful and peaceful, but then it turned ugly. I dreamed that you were attacked. I tried to help but couldn't and woke up. I've had nightmares before, but not like this…” He stopped.
Adi had scooted back all the way. She took a sip of her tea, and he could see her hand shake. She knew what he was talking about, alright. Before he could say anything else, her mouth tightened and she stood up.
"Thanks for breakfast. Sorry you had a nightmare. Not sure what you want me to do about it, but I gotta go now. Things to do before class. See you around." And before Honi could say anything else, she walked off, nearly falling over a trash can in her rush to get away.
Honi sat back. Huh. He'd certainly hit a nerve. Her reaction proved that she remembered being there. Just before she’d jumped up, he had seen the fear in her eyes. Damn it, he hadn’t even gotten to the part where he tried to convince her that she might have the gift herself. And he was running out of time, if John was right.
Speaking of running out of time… He checked his watch. Time to go and spend the next ninety minutes with the ever-delightful Mr. Diepger.
5
Adi was upset. The conversation with Honi had started out so pleasantly, and for a little while, she'd been able to forget her dreams. Of course it couldn't last. When Honi had started talking about his nightmare, the images from last night had invaded her mind with such power that she’d stopped breathing for a moment.
Whereas dream images tended to fade by the morning, these were more like memories. The pain was as clear in her head as if it had really happened. When she’d rushed out of the coffee shop, she’d had to suppress the urge to touch her eyes and forehead, just to make sure she was okay. Stupid. A dream shouldn't have that much power over her. Unless it wasn't an ordinary dream.
Adi shivered. She vaguely noticed the lecture hall filling up, and students sitting down to either side of her. Honi wasn't here yet. Then Diepger walked in and pulled out his materials. When he straightened up, his eyes fell on Adi, who sat towards the front of the room as usual. His mouth tightened and his forehead furrowed. He clearly wasn't pleased to see her. Adi sighed. She couldn't afford to turn him against her, given that exams were only weeks away, but it seemed it was too late. She hoped he would be professional enough to grade her fairly, but she didn't hold her breath.
Sure enough, he kept glaring at her during his lecture on German fairy tales. Adi tuned him out after a while. When he started talking about the theme of the Big Bad Wolf in the Brothers Grimm’s versions, her mind began to wander again.
She knew the original fairy tales from her time in Germany. Her mom had read them all to her from an old book handed down from her mother's mother. The pages were yellowed and smelled a little dusty, but the colorful illustrations were designed to entrance a small child.
Some of the stories were gruesome, she remembered. Modern sensibilities would probably cringe at wicked stepmothers being made to dance to death in red-hot iron shoes, but she loved that the bad guys were punished. And that they died at the end was even better, because then they couldn't hurt anyone else ever again. As a child in her mother's arms, she remembered snuggling down and going to sleep with images of princesses and princes and talking animals swirling in her mind.
"Miss Gutseel, would you like to share with the class what you find so funny?" Her head jerked up at the instructor’s icy tone. What had he been talking about? Wolves? She hadn’t paid any attention. Dammit.
"I'm sorry, I got distracted for a moment," she admitted, hoping her apology would be enough. Unfortunately it wasn't.
"Oh, so you think you know it all? You know, Miss Gutseel, it's bad enough having to correct you in German class, even though you claim you grew up speaking the language, but now you're too clever to pay attention here as well?" Sarcasm was dripping off his tongue and some students sniggered. Her face heated up and she could just imagine the flush rising in her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Diepger, I was paying attention. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night," she tried again, hating that she had to defend herself.
"Your personal issues”—oh great, now he was using finger quotes—"are none of my concern. If you want to pass this class, I expect you to stop daydreaming and put in some hard work instead of coasting on your family's coattails,” he interrupted her again.
What the hell? Adi sat up straighter, her whole body tensing as her irritation grew into outright anger. How did he know about her family? She carried her mother's name, Gutseel, and nobody knew about her trust fund. She took a deep breath and mentally filed the information to be examined later. It wouldn't do her any good if she lost her temper now.
Diepger continued glaring at her, and Adi held his gaze without blinking. Her stomach felt heavy and her head faint with nerves. She really hated confrontation, but no way would she look away first. As she stared at him, something moved on his shoulder. Adi's eyes widened. She suppressed a shocked inhale. There it was again! Just like before, a small monkey, its face twisted with malevolence.
Diepger said something, but Adi wasn't listening. That animal freaked her out so badly as it looked at her, never blinking. Then, as Adi continued to watch, it deliberately lifted its skinny fingers, tipped with sharp nails, and plucked out its own eye. This time Adi whimpered, overcome by the memory of her dream. Her blood was thudding so hard in her ears, she couldn’t hear anything around her. As she stared, her mouth hanging open in shock, the creature vanished.
“…have you gone deaf? I am talking to you! Are you trying to challenge me, here in my classroom, in front of my class?"
Adi suddenly became aware that there was total silence around her, except for her TA talking louder and louder until he was screaming at her. When her eyes met his, the anger in his face felt like a physical punch.
"You know what? Get the hell out of my lecture! I don't need you sitting here, pretending to be, whatever you're pretending to be..." God, he was so angry, he tripped over his own words. Adi blindly fumbled for her things and got up. She needed to get away.
Then she heard a deep, calm voice behind her: “Mr. Diepger, I'm sure Adi didn't mean to be disrespectful…” When Adi turned around, she saw Honi look at the instructor with a pained expression on his face. He quickly glanced over to Adi and threw her a smile. That was a mistake.
Diepger took a deep breath and bellowed, "Well Mr. Fisher, if you're such good friends, why don't you join your girlfriend! Get out of my class!" and he theatrically stuck out his hand, pointing at the exit door. Adi's eyes were burning and she was seconds away from bursting into tears. No way was she going to give that jerk the satisfaction. She grabbed her bag, pushed past the boy sitting next to her and ran outside.
"Adi, wait!" Honi called after her. Damn it, she had gotten him expelled as well. She felt like she owed him for trying to stand up for her, whatever good it had done, and stopped with her head hanging down. Honi stepped around her and said quietly, "You're upset. You look like you need a hug." And before Adi could respond, the young man had pulled her gently against his chest and held her tight. Once again Adi was calmed by his scent.
Then Honi said, “You know, he can’t speak to you like this. And he sure as hell can’t expel both of us. We need to talk to the department head—�
�
She couldn't help herself. After all the upset and feeling tired and mentally exhausted, she let go, pressing closer against his warm chest, and started crying. Honi had stopped talking and made soothing noises. He held her tight and walked her to a few chairs in front of somebody's office. Then he guided her down without saying anything more.
Adi couldn't stop crying. She sobbed even though her face probably looked like an ugly mess. Every time she calmed a little, she thought of something else. Her parents' death. Her fear that her father’s family hated her so much, they tried to have her declared mentally unfit. Her nightmares. Everything just came to a head in Honi's arms. Diepger and his petty vendetta was the least of her worries.
She pressed her cheek against his shirt and tried to ignore how the fabric turned damp under her face. His heart beat steadily compared to the frantic pounding of her own. It felt incredibly safe, and she snuggled just a fraction closer against his chest. They sat like that for a while until Honi moved back a little. Lifting her chin, he asked softly, ”Hey, are you okay? We should probably move before class is over."
Adi didn't want to move away from him, but equally she didn't want the rest of the students to see her like this. She wasn't a child, she was a grown-up, and now embarrassment crept up on her. Christ, Honi must think she was a nut-case. She sat up straight and turned her face away. Her eyes were probably red and swollen, tear tracks down her face, and, oh no, had she snotted onto his clothes?
Honi kept his hand on her chin and then he kissed her forehead. Just a small peck, but when Adi looked up, he seemed just as surprised as she was. His face slowly turned red, and with a feeling of giddiness, Adi realized he was blushing. It made her smile. Apparently she wasn't the only one affected by the situation. Resolutely she stood up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to his feet. He followed willingly, and they stood opposite each other, still smiling.
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