“You must think I’m a total wimp,” he whispered angrily.
Honi finally found his voice. “No, I don’t. That would scare anybody. And you have this dream, the same dream, every night?”
Con nodded, his eyes firmly lowered to the ground again. His shoulders were hunched inward, his whole posture screaming defeat. He sniffled once more, then wiped his eyes to remove the last of his tears. His face whipped around as a pickup pulled up.
“I guess I see you later?” he said hopefully.
Honi grinned, keeping his expression friendly, not showing his shock after hearing Con’s story. Con had met the queen. She had threatened him to give up information. Scratch that, she was still trying to get information from him. Who was she looking for? Surely she knew where Honi and Adi were?
The pickup door opened, and Honi pushed his racing thoughts to the back of his mind. His parents were walking towards him, their faces familiar, happy to see him. He quickly rushed to hug them both, keenly aware that Adi was right behind him, waiting to be introduced. For the second time.
8
Honi’s mom’s hair was black like her son’s, the only difference being the strands of silver that gave away her age. She must have been in her fifties—slender, with bright, intelligent eyes. She was not classically beautiful, but there was so much character and intelligence in her face that Adi liked her immediately. As Honi and his mother hugged, Jim Fisher followed them with slow, heavy steps.
Adi held her breath, not knowing what to expect from the tall, stern man. For the moment, he ignored her. He waited until his wife was done welcoming their son, then stepped up and pulled Honi into another hug. Adi couldn’t hear what was being said, but the older man’s contrite expression made her believe he was apologizing.
Well, that’s just great. Apologizing to Honi was all well and good, but really, it was her who got shouted at last night. Jim released his son and turned towards Adi. Here we go. He walked up to her slowly and looked at her without a smile. After an uncomfortable moment, he stuck out his hand and Adi grabbed it in reflex. A better welcome than last time.
"Adi. Welcome to Heota. I’m sorry about last night. I was tired, and I said things I shouldn’t have."
He smiled, although the expression did not reach his eyes. Adi had a gut feel that something was still off. But he tried. He’d apologized and was apparently willing to start over. So she returned the smile and said, “Thank you. I’m really happy to be here."
Honi’s mom Judy ushered them into the kitchen. Adi sat back and watched Honi catch up on the news in his parents’ life. Ho’neo sat at her boyfriend’s feet, his tongue lolling out, apparently happy to be among family. Adi nursed a glass of water while looking around the kitchen, trying to find Honi’s parents’ spirit animals. After seeing John and Nora’s cats, she was keen to find out what the Fisher’s animals looked like.
She couldn’t see any. Adi took another sip of water, closed her eyes and focused her mind on her surroundings. There, in the next room, she sensed brown color splotches, flickering like weak candle flames. Adi’s eyes opened wide in alarm. Honi interrupted himself, puzzled by her expression.
“Are you okay, Adi? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."
She smiled weakly at her boyfriend, grasping for an explanation for her strange behavior.
"I’m sorry. I’m feeling a little ill after the big trip yesterday. Could I please use your bathroom?"
Honi’s mom gave directions, and Adi left the room. Once she was out of sight, she slipped into the next room where she could still feel the pulsing presence of the two spirit animals.
It took her a moment to find them. In a small storage room, a pine marten and a raven were hiding in a corner. Just like the cats at John and Nora’s house, they were snuggled against each other, but these two looked even weaker and sicker. The raven had lost a lot of its plumage, and the pine marten’s fur was dull, stretching over clearly visible ribs.
Adi approached, carefully crouched down, and stuck out her hand. The raven didn’t react, but the little predator lifted its head and looked at her with eyes so full of pain that Adi pulled her hand back quickly. Her heart ached for them.
The spirit animals looked like they were not far from death. She needed to talk to Honi, double-quick. She hurriedly used the bathroom, washed her hands, and returned to the kitchen. Honi was still talking to his parents. Adi stopped in the doorway and searched for any sign of illness. Jim and Nora didn’t look sick. There was nothing in their postures or faces that might explain the pitiful state of their familiars.
Adi moved to stand behind Honi’s chair and said quietly, “Honi, I need to talk to you. Urgently. Can you meet me at the car?"
Honi turned his head, and when he saw her expression, he quickly excused himself. Once they were outside the house, he turned to her.
"What’s up? What was so urgent I had to leave my parents?"
Adi considered how to break the news to him. Trying to project calmness, she asked, “Have you ever seen your parents’ spirit animals?"
Honi nodded."Of course."
“Did you see them today?"
He shook his head, still not understanding what she was getting at.
"They were in the next room. A raven and a pine marten, right?"
He nodded, a line appearing between his eyes as he tried to follow her line of thinking.
"Honi, they looked sick. Not just a little out of sorts, but sick like they were about to die."
Honi’s eyes opened wide. As a spirit walker, he knew what that meant. If a spirit animal was that sick, the human was equally afflicted. He thought long and hard, then shook his head again.
"If my parents were that sick, they would have told me. They look perfectly well."
Adi nodded. “That’s what’s so weird about this. I saw the same thing when John and Nora were here. They didn’t even have a cold, but their animals looked awful. I don’t know what’s going on, but something is wrong. I can feel it."
Honi said slowly, “You know I trust you. I would never dismiss your gut feeling. But my parents are well. Maybe your mind played a trick on you? Maybe the spirit animals were just asleep?"
Now it was Adi’s turn to shake her head. "No, Honi. They weren’t asleep— they looked comatose. And doesn’t that strike you as odd that they were in the next room?"
Honi thought again, then said, “Yeah, but they don’t stick around with their humans all the time. Ho’neo disappears on me constantly.” His tone of voice had turned soothing.
Adi tried one last time to convince him. With great effort she kept her irritation under control.
“True, but when he goes, he’s gone completely. He never just sits in the next room. When he’s here, he’s with you. When he is gone, he is really gone."
He obviously didn’t believe there was a problem. She had to admit that it was a big ask for him to accept that his parents might be dying when there was no sign of it. When spirit animals looked as sick as Adi had described it, their humans would be in hospital in intensive care. She stared at the ground, trying to find the words to make him take this seriously.
She turned around at the sound of tires rolling over gravel. A car pulled up behind them. Five strangers got out and greeted Honi like a long-lost friend. Honi introduced them, and as Adi was still shaking hands, more and more people arrived. Apparently the news had spread throughout Heota that Honiahaka Fisher had returned from abroad.
Soon the house was filled with people laughing and chatting. Honi was right in the middle of it, and Adi stood by the wall, watching and listening. She didn’t really mind. Honi had been gone for several years, rarely visiting his community. It had been a good eighteen months since he’d last returned. More than once she caught curious glances in her direction, not all of them friendly. It wasn’t that people were aggressive towards her, but there was a level of coldness the odd time they spoke to her. Honi had warned her.
“They’ll love you, but it might ta
ke a while. We’ve not had much luck with outsiders. Have faith. And patience.”
Then he’d kissed her, and she’d been ready to take on the world for him. Still, she hadn’t expected this level of disinterest or outright antagonism.
There was one girl in particular that kept looking at her. She was very beautiful with the long, thick, black hair that was so common among Honi’s friends and family. Tall, slender, with the most perfect skin, she was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt like most of the people around here. On her, these ordinary clothes looked like high-fashion.
A cold lump sat in Adi’s stomach as she watched the girl standing next to Honi, her hand on his arm in a familiar gesture. Honi turned towards her, covered her hand with his, and smiled at what she was saying to him.
Adi and Honi had gone through so much together that it had forged a special bond between them. And she had no reason to feel as insecure as she did right now. She fought hard to silence the voice that insisted that she was surplus to requirements.
"They look lovely together, don’t they?"
Adi turned her head. The woman standing next to her took a sip from a beer bottle.
"A bit early for drinking, isn’t it?”
Adi heard her bitchiness, but she couldn’t help herself. The woman’s comment had really pissed her off. The woman looked at her sideways, seemingly unoffended.
"Honi and Nina have known each other since they were kids. You know they used to date, right? A man never forgets his first love."
Smiling slyly, the woman pushed herself off the wall and moved away to talk to someone else. Adi was left open-mouthed. What the hell was that? Did that woman just imply that Honi and this girl still had feelings for each other? A loud laugh drew her gaze back to her boyfriend. Honi had thrown his head back and bellowed out a loud belly laugh, while the girl still had her hand on his arm, looking pleased.
Adi had just about had enough. She pushed through the throng of people surrounding Honi until she stood in front of him.
"Hi, darling. Would you like to introduce me to your friend?"
Honi stopped laughing at her tone of voice, and looked between Nina and Adi. He turned towards Adi so that Nina’s hand slipped off his arm.
“Of course. Adi, this is Nina, one of my oldest friends. She just came back from working out of town. Nina, this is my girlfriend Adi."
Well, at least he remembered what she was to him, Adi thought, immediately feeling guilty for acting like a jealous bitch. She’d given up looking for spirit animals with the number of people filling the kitchen. She was still tired from the trip, and she didn’t want to waste her mental energy on it. But when she stared at the girl, a large black panther glared back at her. It was hiding behind the girl’s legs, and Adi took a step to the side to get a better view.
The panther was huge. It sat on its haunches behind the girl, its head brushing her butt. Adi had to work hard to not gasp in shock and disgust. It looked like it suffered from mange. Red and inflamed skin showed from in-between black patches of rough fur. Its eyes were covered by a milky film, and for a moment, Adi thought the panther was blind. But then its head turned, and it stared at Adi with such despair that tears sprang to her eyes.
As she looked up to check whether Nina showed any signs of illness, she met the girl’s eyes. Nina’s elegant eyebrow was pulled up, and she smirked.
"Do you like what you see?"
Adi wasn’t sure if she’d been caught staring at the girl’s butt, or if Nina knew that she had seen the panther. Something told her it was the latter. Adi’s heart sped up as she realized what that meant.
Could it be possible that this girl was a spirit walker? Only they could see spirit animals. She shook her head. Surely not. If there had been another walker amongst the tribe, John or Honi would have mentioned it. Especially since Honi had known this girl all his life.
And yet, there was a smirk on Nina’s face as if she knew exactly what Adi was thinking. Nina was still waiting for an answer, and Honi looked at Adi with a frown on his face.
“Um…, I was just admiring your jeans. They’re really cool. Where did you buy them?"
Now Honi’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Adi sighed. That was the most ridiculous excuse ever. Admiring Nina’s jeans. Seriously, as if Adi knew the difference between designer and cheap jeans as long as they fit. She felt the familiar heat flush her face as embarrassment took over.
When she met Honi’s eyes, he mouthed silently, “What the hell was that?"
Adi shrugged. Somebody had prepared plates of sandwiches. She grabbed some, leaned against the wall in the kitchen, and watched all these strangers fussing over her boyfriend, who seemed to have forgotten her presence. It wasn’t that she begrudged him his moment—after all, it was his place, his childhood home, his family.
But nobody even tried to talk to her, not for hours. Not since that woman had sidled up and thrown out cryptic comments about Honi and Nina being a beautiful couple. She still bristled at that. She couldn’t wait until the day was over, and she’d have Honi to herself.
She took a deep breath and swallowed down the hurt and neglect. Her fingers rubbed the medallion around her neck. This wasn’t any worse than anywhere else she’d lived. She’d always found it hard to make friends, and here at least, she had a head-start as Honi’s girlfriend. They would come around, he’d said. Adi hoped it would happen soon.
9
Honi’s ears rang with the din. His parents’ small house was filled with a throng of people. Family mostly, but also friends that didn’t need an excuse to gossip and have a party. Laughter, shouting, the squeals of young children—it was the soundscape of his life growing up as part of a tightly-knit community.
On top of it, the spirit animals were as boisterous as their humans. Honi had to concentrate hard to tune them out. It might work with the supernatural, but not with the humans. He didn’t begrudge them the chance to meet and have a good time. He just wished they’d leave him out of it.
Honi had tried to introduce Adi but people kept pushing between them until they were separated. He lifted his head, looking for her, but before he caught sight of her auburn hair, so different from the glossy, black manes of his female cousins, a man walked up to him. He’d gotten a little older, a little fatter, but Honi recognized him immediately.
“Lawrence!” he shouted.
The man didn’t hesitate before pulling him into a tight hug that squeezed the breath out of him. As the council leader, the elder held high sway within the community. When Honi was little, he called Elder Lawrence “uncle,” even though they weren’t related. Lawrence had been a continuous presence in the Fisher household until his wife had died. John, Lawrence, and Honi’s dad had often talked until the early morning hours—about tribal matters, the economy, how kids had no respect for their elders anymore.
The old man used to tower over Honi. Now he was a good bit shorter but still as strong as ever. Over the next few minutes, the elder filled him in on who had died, who had gone to jail, and who had lost their job. It seemed like every year, more and more Mekui’te were moving away to the cities. Soon there would only be the very young and the old left behind. He deftly sidestepped the question posed by everybody who’d met him today.
“Are you staying?”
Two years ago, he would have answered, “Definitely.” Things were different now. Instinctively, his eyes sought Adi. She was leaning against the wall, looking lost and vulnerable. This wasn’t fair on her. She hardly knew anybody here but him.
Honi shook hands with Lawrence and promised a visit to catch up more. He smiled at people as he pushed his way through the crowd. He could see their mouths move but the noise level made it impossible to understand the fragments of conversation that drifted past him.
He was only a few yards away from Adi when somebody touched his arm and held on. He turned, a frozen grin on his face. They were all family and friends—no need to freak out, he kept telling himself. A tall girl stood in front of him
, willowy and graceful. Her hair cascaded freely over her shoulder, adding to the impression of wildness, of unconstrained beauty. Her eyes, luminous and dark like his own, seemed familiar. She looked at him expectantly, an excited grin on her face. Then the penny dropped.
“Nina! Oh my God, I didn’t recognize you. What’s different about you?”
Nina threw her head back and laughed. “Well, I grew my hair out and lost a couple of pounds. Other than that? I grew up, I suppose.”
Honi shook his head. His childhood friend had grown into a stunning young woman. She’d had a wicked sense of humor back then, before she’d moved to live with distant relatives after her parents died. He hadn’t seen her in over six years and couldn’t believe the change in her.
His mom had stayed in touch with her over the years. Last time they’d talked on the phone while he’d still been in Germany, she couldn’t wait to give him the news:
“Did you hear? Nina is dating a senior. They might get married soon. Wouldn’t that be lovely?”
There had been more than a hint of disappointment in her voice. She’d always felt that Nina would be perfect for Honi. They’d tried dating for a few months but they never clicked. So they’d decided they worked better as friends. Nina had in fact become his best friend for a while until tragedy struck. He wanted her to meet Adi. He was just going to ask Nina to follow him, when he saw that somebody was already talking to his girlfriend.
Melinda looked rough as hell, even in a community where clean jeans and a button-down were good enough for church. Her hair could’ve done with a wash, her clothes were not exactly tattered, but scruffy and inexpertly mended. He wouldn’t be surprised if her son Con made sure she was presentable between episodes.
Adi’s whole body language screamed discomfort. A flash of anger crossed her face. Just as Honi was going to push more forcefully through the throng to get to her, Melinda turned away with a triumphant expression on her face. The kind of expression that people get when they have the last word. What had she told Adi? Why did his girlfriend look like she was about to explode, before she marched towards them? Honi took a step back, his whole body going rigid with alarm.
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