by G. Bailey
"Jake asked me to go and spend Christmas with his family. He wants me and Noah to meet them as he loves me," she says, her cheeks bright red, and I can’t help but grin so widely it hurts my cheeks. That is the best thing I’ve heard in ages. Lottie always wanted a family, and now it looks like she is being invited into another. Jake is a good guy and clearly in love with her. How could you blame him though? Lottie is sweet, stunning and would do anything for anyone she loves.
"That's truly amazing, Lottie. You must be so happy," I finally say. My eyes burn with tears that want to fall, but I can’t happy cry for her here in public.
"I am. I love him so much, and everything between us just works. Aunt Linsey sat us down and said she is going to retire once Noah is in school, and she wants me to take over the bakery. I could work there, live in the apartment above while Jake finishes off university, and then he wants to move in with me. He should be able to find a job in the city, and then that will be our life, our future," she explains to me, and all I can do is hug her before she really makes me cry with happiness.
"I couldn't be happier for you. Truly," I say, really meaning it. Lottie is a sister to me, and she alongside Aunt Linsey and Noah are all I have of family. I only want to see them all happy, and this sounds like the perfect future for them all. I hope I will always be close by to watch them grow as a little family. Jake King is a really nice guy, and every time I'm in the bakery, I see how he always has the biggest smile for Lottie. He loves her as much as she loves him. Noah is their icing on the cake.
"Have you talked about a future with the Hallow brothers?" she asks me.
"It's hard to talk about a future when we can't ever discuss the past. They said it's too painful and raw, and it brings out their dark side. I get that, but I wish we could at least have one conversation about it all. It feels like a cloud hanging over our heads," I admit to her because it is the truth. No matter how good things are between us, we can’t live in fairy land world forever and pretend there isn’t a big cloud hanging over our heads.
"Maybe you just need to blurt out how you feel. If they really love you, they won't run away," she suggests.
"I feel like if I lose them, any of them, a part of me will be dead forever," I admit. “I fell harder than I ever thought I would.”
"If you don't, you will never know. Tell them about Noah and me," she insists, and I go to say no when she interrupts me. "Secrets like this always come out, and if they try to do anything to take Noah, I will fight them. Jake said he would help me fight them too, or we would run away together."
"It's a big risk, and I don't want them to stay with me because they feel guilty about what David did," I admit. This is more complicated than it seems.
"He almost raped you, Trixy. He would have if you hadn't escaped, and he was a bad guy. I honestly wish he didn't do what he did in the end, because he clearly needed help no one other than professionals could give him," she says, and I nod because I know she is right. That night still haunts my mind even though I try to tell myself there was nothing I could have done. David never showed any signs he would do that, but then I never saw that he was in love with me. I feel like I was an idiot now when I look back, because I should have known and tried to help him. I'm not sure how I could have, but taking him to a doctor would have been a good start.
"After Christmas, I will sit them down and talk to them. Let's hope it doesn't end with them breaking my heart," I say.
"If they love you, it won't. If they break your heart, they are complete tools," she says and pulls me into a hug. I hug her tightly back, dreading the moment I have to bring up David's name with the Hallow brothers.
Whatever happens, I know something is going to change between us all. It has to.
"I know it's Christmas in two days, but I'm spending most of the day with my aunt, and you guys have the match tomorrow. So, well, I just wanted to give you your gifts now," I say to them after I've walked into the kitchen where they all are. Gage and Garett are sitting on stools at the counter, eating toast, and Griffin is frying bacon which he slides onto a plate with his eggs before coming over as I place three small boxes on the countertop. "They aren't big things, just something silly, really."
"You didn't have to get us anything. Having you with us is enough, Trix," Griffin says, but he grins like a kid when I hand him his blue gift box. Gage and Garett are silent as I hand them their presents, and they all start opening them. It makes me super nervous, considering it was hard to buy something for the rich guys that buy anything they could ever want for themselves. Griffin picks out one of their cufflinks, which are tree shaped with an H in the middle of them. I had them made for the brothers, and I nervously wait as they don't say anything.
"The tree is what I found when I researched your family name, it's where the name came from, the hollow of an old tree. I know you guys all have collections of cufflinks in your rooms, so I thought you'd like some personal ones. The tree is your family emblem, right? I know family is important to you all, and I wanted to get you something that might mean something," I say and force myself to stop talking as I’m rambling on.
"There is a T on the other side of the tree," Gage points out.
"Yeah, so you remember who they are from," I awkwardly say, rubbing my arms. Man, I'm not good at presents, it seems.
"I fucking love them, Trix," Garett states and gets up off his seat, coming over to me and sweeping me into his arms before kissing me.
"Thank you, Trix. This is perfect," Gage says, and I look back at Griffin as Garett holds me close.
"I will treasure the gift. Thank you," Griffin tells me, locking his eyes with me.
"You are still coming tomorrow night for the match and then the club afterwards? We want to give you your gift there," Garett says to me, and I see Griffin tense up before looking away from me.
"Of course I am. Though you don't have to get me a gift," I say, wondering why Griffin looks so angry and Gage is so quiet.
"We have planned this gift for a while. I'm sure you will love it," Garett tensely says, letting me go and stepping away. I smile tensely at them as not one of them look my way. It's all really odd.
"Right, well I have to get going to my aunt's. She is short staffed, and it's busy this time of year before she closes tomorrow," I explain to them.
"See you later," they all say almost in unison, but they are all too busy glaring at each other to really pay attention to me as I grab my coat and my bag. I leave the house, trying not to think on it too much as I walk down the cobbled streets and towards the gates of the road. It doesn't take me more than twenty minutes to take the tube and get across London to my aunt's bakery, which is packed to the rim by the looks of it. I push past a few people in the queue and head to the front, where my aunt flashes me a relieved smile. I push the countertop door up and walk in, closing it behind me. I quickly drop my bag and coat in the back and grab an apron before heading to my aunt's side. The next hour, we tirelessly serve customers until the shop closes quiet and we get a two-minute break.
"How did your boyfriends like their presents?" she asks me.
"They loved them," I say, leaving out how weird they were after I gave them their gifts. I stare at a little girl running around the Christmas tree my aunt set up in the shop. Her long blonde hair reminds me of when I was a child and how I would love to run around that very tree when my parents sent me here for Christmas some years. Not every year though. When I was at home, we never got a tree or presents. My nanny would sneak me out to the town to see the tree in the centre of the shopping mall. It made everything that little bit better.
"It is serious with you and them, isn't it? Not just some fun that seems to have no end," she asks. I know she disapproves of my relationship with them all. Not only because I’m dating more than one person at a time, which is strange on its own. No, it’s because it’s them. The Hallow brothers.
"I love them, and it's strange for me. I didn't know you could love more than one person so much," I
admit to her. “I don’t know how we will have a future with children when we can’t marry more than one person. It’s complicated, but I love it.”
"Life is complicated, and sure, you guys aren’t traditional, but who cares about that. I've never seen you as happy as you have been these past few months," she says, reaching over and taking my hand.
"You seem happy too, I've noticed," I say after I take a long sip of my drink.
"Well, Lottie and Noah are in love with Jake King, and they make the cutest little family. My niece finally has a reason to smile all the time, and I have a happy retirement all planned out. I used to spend years worrying about you and how my sister was treating you with that god awful father of yours. You were a special child who just needed a hug now and then. Then one day out of the blue, you turn up on my doorstep with a pregnant teenager, in a dark mess of emotions and bags of designer crap to sell. It was a shock, but somehow it has turned into a happy future for us all," she says, and it makes her smile as much as me.
"It sounds odd when you put it like that. You know, I've always seen you as my mom. My mother didn't want me, she never did. The nannies were paid to watch me, not love me. Then you taught me how to love and what family is. My real parents only taught me how money destroys you and makes you heartless," I say, and she wipes her tears away before pulling me over for a big hug.
"Can I get some service?" a rude man grumbles from the counter, and Aunt Linsey chuckles as she steps back.
"Work never ends, huh?" she says to me before whispering under her breath. "Neither do rude customers, it seems." Though she doesn't say it that quietly, and I can't help but smile at the grumpy man's red face as my aunt turns on her overly nice voice to ask how she can serve him. Even though everything is currently perfect, I still feel like I'm expecting the rug to be pulled out any moment now. Nothing can be this perfect, not when the past is so dark and lost.
"What did you think of the match?" Garett asks me, but Gage and Griffin are silent in the taxi drive through London towards the club. They haven't said a word to anyone since they won the match, and surely that should be making them happy. It just seems like they are the opposite of that emotion.
"You did really well! Are you happy?" I ask Garett, and he leans closer, running a finger down my cheek and to my lips. He parts my lips with his thumb and rubs his thumb slowly across my bottom lip.
"I'm happy because you love me," he says back, but there is darkness in his eyes as he speaks. For some reason, I feel like there is an undertone to the words that just left his lips.
"Why don't we go home instead of the club tonight?" Griffin suggests.
"But Trixy is all dressed up. It would be a waste to let this red dress be seen by no one else," Garett comments, glaring at both his brothers.
"Fine," Griffin eventually replies, but he doesn't look at me and looks out of the window instead.
"Is everything okay?" I ask them, and Gage finally looks at me. He pauses for a second, not saying a word before he nods once and looks away once again. I cross my arms and rest back in the seat, feeling nervous, and I'm not sure what of. Something is going on with them all, but I can't figure it out.
Blowing hot and cold with me is the only thing that comes to mind. The rest of the taxi ride is pure silence, and I'm almost thankful London is such a noisy city, so it's not as daunting as it could be. The taxi driver stops outside the club, which is a ground floor building with floor to ceiling mirrored glass windows, and it is surrounded by a big green field of grass with a pretty treeline in the distance. Griffin gets out first, and I quickly follow after him as Garett pays the taxi driver. Gage storms off the moment he gets out of the taxi, and Griffin smiles in a sad way before turning and following him.
"Go ahead," Garett instructs, and I look back as Griffin and Gage go into the busy club which is no doubt full of our classmates. I slide my shoes off when I realise there is no pathway on this side, only grass to walk across, and I don't want my red heels to sink into the mud. I walk across the grass even though it is cold and a slight bit wet, I think. So I can get there quickly, I don't look up until I push the door open.
My shoes fall out of my hands as I stare at the inside of the club, the bright lights making everything impossible not to see. There are massive photos of me on the walls, pictures from the party with punch all over me, and the other time when I had to walk home in my underwear. Someone has painted the word killer across them. Everyone in the room is laughing at me as I look to Gage and Griffin, who have their backs to me. My cheeks are burning red as tears fall down my cheeks, and yet everyone continues to laugh. I turn and look back as Garett walks into the room, stepping over my shoes and going to stand in the middle of his brothers as they turn around.
"Did you really think any of us could ever love someone who killed our brother?" The cold, heartless question leaves Garett's lips, and I finally know it's all been a game. I'm a total idiot because I fell for it. I let myself believe they actually moved on and left the past behind. Instead, they wanted to break my heart and take all of me. I turn and run out of the building, running as fast as I can until I stop and break into tears. I know they are following me, and I can’t run from this. They want me to suffer, and they want to see it. I turn and face them because I know I don’t have a choice. They have taken everything else anyway, why not my tears and pain too?
The Hallow brothers have broken my heart, and I let them.
Thick droplets of rain fall onto my cheeks, just before the skies open and rain pours down on us. I don’t know why I’m focusing on the rain and not the sight in front of me, but I wish it was just the rain here with me now. My Hallow brothers all stand utterly still, mimicking the cold, empty, soulless expressions they have. My bare feet dig into the cold grass, the wind blows my hair around my shoulders, and my dress presses against my skin as I stare at them. My heart feels like it has been broken into a million tiny little pieces, and only they can fix it. But they won’t.
“You don’t understand. You don’t know what—” I go to desperately explain everything to them, even if it means giving up my best friend’s secret. I’m in love with them, and even as I stand here in the rain, alone, my pride gone…I still love them. I thought they fell for me too. What started off as casual angry sex, a way for us both to move on from the past, soon turned into something so much more. We knew each other as kids, always watching from a distance but never having a chance to be more than acquaintances. I was David’s best friend, and I was off-limits because he loved me. I didn’t love him, and it unknowingly cost me.
“We don’t care. It was a game. A game that came with many sweet rewards,” Gage comments, a slight chuckle following his words. The laugh is worse than anything he could tell me. He called me sweet just after he fucked me on his bike…and that apparently was nothing to him.
“No, it wasn’t just a game,” I protest, tightening my hands into fists as I remember how he looked at me back then. How he whispered he loved me only yesterday. I search each one of their eyes, hoping—no praying—to see something other than hate. I was a fool, they never loved me…it was a trick.
“It was. We all know it, and so do you. We never loved you. How could we?” Gage asks, tilting his head to the side a bit. All those stories he told me of his past, about his father and everything else were lies to get me to fall for him.
“You killed our brother,” Garett adds, and I know every dance, every kiss, was a lie. It was all nothing to him.
“And we will never forgive you for that. You deserve this.” Griffin is the final one to speak, and it is the hardest one to hear. He drives the final nail in the coffin of my heart. I don’t deserve this, I know that, but they don’t. I didn’t kill their brother, but I wish I could have helped him. Even despite everything else, that will never change.
The best thing for us all is to walk away…even if it is the last thing I want. I look once more at the building, seeing my entire class and the team laughing as my heart is broken.
Crushed under pretty stars. It’s best I walk away from everything before they see me fall.
Tears fall into my mouth, the salty taste the only thing I can focus on as Patricia and Ariel come out of the building, running to the Hallow brothers and wrapping their arms around Gage and Garett.
“Bye, loser,” Ariel says, grinning because she won them after all, just like she said she would when the game was all over. She knew about it this whole time and most likely was sleeping with them too. I look into each one of their eyes, and some silly part of me thinks they might just regret this. No one is that good of an actor, not even they are, but it is too late now. I forgave them for the bullying before, but not this time. They took it too far. With all the strength I can find, I turn and walk away from the Hallow brothers and their pathetic existence. It’s what I should have done the first time I saw them again.
Except I should have damn well run as fast as I could. The Hallow brothers are nothing but evil with a pretty face.
Griffin
Two Weeks Later…
”For fuck sake," I shout as the plate falls off the counter and smashes into a million pieces across the kitchen floor. I shake my head and go to the cupboard, stepping over the trash bags on the floor. After Gage lost his temper and fired the cleaners over nothing, the place is a mess. All of us are fucked up about Trixy.
I should have stopped them.
I should have been a fucking man and said how much I loved her.
None of that matters now because we got our revenge for David like we always planned. I didn't expect to actually fall for her, and neither did my brothers. Since she ran away at the club before Christmas, they haven't done anything but mope in their rooms. Ariel and one of her friends I can't remember the name of were not part of the plan. They just thought they could get us in bed if Trixy wasn't there anymore. I clean up the smashed plate with a dustpan and brush before leaving it on the counter and going into the living room. Gage and Garett are on the sofa, holding a beer and watching a match. There are dozens of empty beer bottles on the floor and side cabinets, and they really are just adding to the mess now. I sit on the chair, picking up the remote and turning the game off to get their attention.