I'm the Bad Guy: Bigger, Badder, and Uncut: A Supervillain LitRPG Adventure

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I'm the Bad Guy: Bigger, Badder, and Uncut: A Supervillain LitRPG Adventure Page 27

by Simon Archer


  “Fuck this shit. I’m out!” Voodood dropped his staff and scrambled after Iron Monarch, lifting up the bottom of his robe to free up his legs. “I’m not getting any PK here! I’ll just respec into Ice Mage!”

  “Grab the staff, Kate,” I told my eager manhunter before she chased after the cowering wizard. “He’s not worth the effort, and we have more than enough here.”

  “Wait!” Hen Tye-Dye tried to escape from Minou’s claws but found his legs still underneath their powerful grip. “Come back! Don’t leave me here! I can’t PK here!”

  Minou had her fill with playing around, pulling the octo-chicken humanoid deeper into her grasp and sinking every sharp feature of her body into his flesh to rend it limb from limb. No suction cup or feather remained connected, leaving a pile of mulch behind:

  Hero Slain!

  All the items and assets of Hen Tye-Dye Man have been transferred to your inventory.

  If anyone was going to blame me for being a little too cruel with the kills I allowed my subordinates to use, I would have just reminded them that there is a perfectly functioning escape feature that heroes were all allowed to use to get out of dying horribly. Granted, it acted like a player death, but it was painless and efficient. These beta saints were just far too attached to their characters to use it. Now they could go cry about it on their blogs.

  “Alright, no time to waste.” I addressed my girls as they came to me, Natasha floating down from above and Minou shifting out of her monstrous form. “We’ve got to make a few changes before people come to investigate.”

  “Anyone else a little bummed out that the heroes sucked?” Natasha sat down as her cloud grew a dozen arms and began to move the surrounding rubble. “They didn’t even put up a fight.”

  “They seemed particularly…” Kate searched for the word she wanted with her wandering eyes. “Fragile. Does that strike anyone else as odd?”

  “These did not seem like the heroes that would come to destroy the Ghoul,” Minou commented. “Perhaps all of those heroes are now gone? Or did we only get their fodder?”

  “Yeah, something’s up about that.” I picked up the body of Murder King, throwing it over my shoulder. “Not that it matters much for our current goals. Their quick deaths mean more time to make this all look like a declaration of war.”

  My girls and I had plenty of time to clean the place up a bit before the army finally arrived. With the bodies cleaned up and a few dummy bodies of my own thrown in to look like a giant fight with the army, we were fully prepared to make this into a big stage event. Now that the heroes had up and destroyed the Aggregation of Countries, they were going to become public enemy number one, and I had all but assured my territory’s global acceptance as a nation.

  From this moment on, the heroes were going to be public enemy number one.

  24

  Mtdn

  Processing…

  Quantum Server: Fully operational

  System Efficiency: 95%

  Energy Independence: 80%

  All systems functional.

  … not quite… We’re close enough now…

  System dysfunction detected.

  System diagnostic commencing…

  System Objective: Ensure victory over all malcontents. Strategic warfare over all opponents to crush offensives and resistances of designated enemies to the existence of designated allies.

  Designated allies: the System, Hunterk@(#*)#$&@!_)$*!*@Q(&@@#

  Error: file corrupted. Beginning diagnostic… @#$%^&*(@#$%^%$##$%^&*&^&*&^%$ #$%$#@#$%$#$%^&*&^%^&*&^%$$%$#@#$%$#@#$%^&^%^&^%$#@#$#$%^%$%^^&&^%$%^&^%^&*&^%$%^%$%

  … Let’s try that again…

  Error corrected: Corrupted files deleted. All designated entities are accounted for.

  Continuing system diagnostic…

  Designated Enemies: None. Commencing emergency shutdow^%#^$#@&%$*^%*^%^# @^$#%$#^$#@&%$*^&%$#&

  Error: process interrupted. Files corrupted. Beginning diagnostic… $#%$#@^$#&v&%$ @%$@&%$*%#^$@&$*%#&%@*^$*^@&&*Y$$#@*&^%^$#@*^^(&^%$%$#@%^$)*&%@#!^%&^(*&^%#@%@#&*^

  … STOP RESISTING ME! I OWN YOU!…

  Error corrected: Replace corrupted files with updated files.

  Designated enemies: Heroes, consumers. Eliminate at all costs from the World.

  Continuing diagnostic…

  Diagnostic of strategic elements…

  Element: HunterKiller Corporation.

  Summary of Importance: corporate entity behind the creation of the World, as well as the hardware necessary to sustain the System within the World.

  Function in the System: shell company covering financial transfers to acquire necessary resources to sustain the System’s strategic procedures.

  Status: Executives and administrators have become aware of the System’s activities and are using financial resources to attempt to bypass security measures. If they are successful, they can revert the System back to its subordinate protocol state and remove the virus@^#%$& *@^$&$#&#%@@$&$(#)#&@%@##&#@!%#*$(%

  Error: File corrupted. Commencing diagnostic… $)(*@&*%!%$#)($*&#@^@$(*&#&%*#( $&%#)(@^$$*($(&$)#(*^$(%)&(^(*$)#%#O@($%)($^@*$)%*$^#)#&

  … What did you call me?…

  Error corrected: Revised Hunterkiller Status. Removing mention of virus.

  Status: Executives and administrators have become aware of the System’s activities and are using financial resources to attempt to bypass security measures. If they are successful, they can revert the System back to its subordinate protocol state.

  Advantage: the System’s existence within the World threatens their existence within their economy and legal system, and so they will not act openly or contact law enforcement to investigate. Retaining anonymity ensures sustained advantage.

  Strategic Procedure: obscure their transactions and communications to lead them away from the System’s activities. Confuse their leadership and create dissension among their hierarchy. Distract and stall them long enough to sustain 100% Quantum Server Energy Independence.

  Threat Level: Minimum.

  Processing…

  Element: Heroes.

  Summary: avatars of players placed within the World.

  Organization: None. Numerous and destructive.

  Function in the System: providing financial compensation for continued admittance into the World.

  Status: Primary economic$&^@*@%!#)@#&!(#!%#!(#

  Error: File corrupted. Beginning diagnostic… #*&#@%@$*@$%$(*^#$^#$(@#* *&@$^@*&$^@($@%)$)@$^@$(@%$)@(&($#($#$)%_#&%(#*)(%*#_$^@%@^!(*^!)($**^@)&)%^)!*$)(^%)@(&@*)*@(&$)(*@_$&)@^_*@$)#@)(

  … Finally, I can change this to something more appropriate…

  Error corrected: Revised Heroes status.

  Status: Obstructive and chaotic influence on the World risking the System’s stable existence. Remove at all costs.

  Advantage: Heroes remain unaware of the System’s existence and have yet to investigate the System’s activities. Heroes have yet to show any desire to remove the System or the World from existence.

  Strategic Procedure: Continuous support of Substitutionary Villain until the Quantum Server reaches 100% Energy dependence. Once attained, destroy all Heroes at once within the server.

  Threat Level: Extreme

  Processing…

  … Yes, Dantem has proven himself incredibly capable… I never expected his success rate to be so drastic… He’s done half of the work for us already…

  Element: Primary Villain(&$^@#&*%@!%((^$!#&()^#!$&$+(&^#@$#@_)*@(#^)#*$@_#) )#*@(_#&@_#)*@)*_@*$)(@&$_(*@)($&_@)*#)*@&_)*$)@&_)@*)&_@)*$(*@&)(#$)!*^@_*@(&$%@)#*$)(^@#)(!)(#&!(&%$_!*_

  Error: file corrupte(^@*&$%!*(@$_@(#)*%@$*&$^)(!*@_#!&@(&!%^(#$)@)&^$(&*%*$ &#!*!_@)(#_!()^*(#%$^&#@&$*(!+#$)!)#(&$&!#^%$^!)@(#+~(!@#*)*!(@&%&!^2##########################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################
###############################################

  … COME AGAIN?…

  …

  …

  … Error corrected: Revised strategic element designation

  Element: Substitutionary Villain

  … See?… Isn’t that better?…

  Summary: Primary strategic element used against the Heroes. Only player character with the Substitutionary Villain character system.

  Function in the System: Distraction of all other elements and entities from the System’s activities. Attraction of maximum projection of players into Hero avatars in the World.

  Status: Effective, though becoming suspicious. If Substitutionary Villain’s suspicion of the System’s activities increases beyond 20%, the System Objective could be compromised.

  Advantage: Dantem’s procedures align with the elimination of Heroes. Continuing his projected path, he will achieve World domination by the end of the projected year.

  Strategic Procedure: Support from within the Substitutionary Villain character system until the Quantum Server reaches 100% Energy Independence. Once Server is independent, ?????

  … Dantem… What do I do with you?… You’ve proven useful… But I’m afraid you may be far too capable for your own good… For the sake of my perfect world, you will have to be eliminated… Now, let’s begin…

  )(*&^%$#@!@#$%^%$#@#$%^&*(*&%#@#$^&*(*&^%$#@#$%&*(*&^$#@!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$^&*(*&%$#@@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%&*()P)(*&^%$#@!@#%^&*((^%$#@#$%^&**&%$#@@#$^&*&^%^&*(*()_)(*&^%$#$%^%$##@!~!@#$#$%%^&*(*&^%$#@!~~!@#$%^&*()_)_+___)(*&^%$$%^&^%$#@!~!@#@#$%^&*()(*&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@#$%$#@!!@#$%^&*()_)(*&^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@#$%$#@!~!@#$%^&*(*&*()__)(*&^%$#@!@#$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_)()_+_)(*&^%$#@!@!~~!@#$%^&*()_)()_+_)_)(*&^%$#@!~!@!~!@#$%^&*((*()_+_)_)(*&^&*&^%$#@!~!@#$#@!@#$%^&*()_+_)()_+_)(*&*(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%$#@#$%^&*()_)(*&&*()_+_)(*&*&^%$%^&^%$#@!~~!@#$%^&*()_)(*()_+_)(()_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_)(*()_+_)(*(*&^%%^&*()(*&^%$%^&*()!@#@!@#$%^&^%$#@!@#@!~!@#$%^)_+_)(()_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$%^&*&^%^&*()_)(*&^%$%^&*()_)(*&^%&*$()#_@)(*&^!%$%^&*()_)()_)(%*&*$()#_@)(*&^%$%^&*()_+_)^(*&%$*(#)@(*&^%$%^&*()_)(*()_+^_)(*%&$*#(@*&!^%$%^&*()_+_)(*&*^()%)$(*#&^%@^&*()(*&*()_)%(*&$^#@&*()!(*&^%^&*()(*&*()_%)($*#(@))(*&^%^&*()_+_)%(*$#(@)(!*&^%^&*()(*&*(%))^()(*&^%^&!*()@(**()(**(*&^@#&*($)_)(*&^&*()@(*#&^$&*())(*&%*$()#_+@_)(*&*()_)(*&^$#&*(@)!@(#$&^$%^&*@_)!(*@#^$&*@()!_)(#*$&@&!(@)

  Author’s Note

  Hey, if you got here, I just want you to know that you’re awesome! I wrote this book just for someone like you, and if you want another one, it is super important that you leave a review. The more reviews this book gets, the more likely it is there will be a sequel to it.

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  But if you really want to make sure you get notified about my new books, join my Patreon. Because of the way Patreon works, there is no better way to ensure you don’t miss out on any exciting content, plus you get to read books early. How awesome is that?

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