by Fiona Faris
“I’m sure she would’ve been vary proud,” Mildred said.
“Aye. But that is where my healer’s journey began. Fanny an’ my mum used tae work together of’en, helpin’ families and animals near the border. I used tae go along with them. Tis how I knew Fanny already. But I stopped healing until noo.”
“Ye are doin’ vary well. Ye shoulda been here much sooner! Why did ye decide tae heal now? Was yer home burned?”
While Sophia was happy to be talking with Mildred, she found herself feeling a bit overwhelmed by the conversation. It was the first time in many days that she was forced to deal with just how much loss she had faced. She could not help it; the tears streamed down her cheek.
“Oh no, Sophia, I am sorry, lassie—did I say somethin’ tae offend ye?” Mildred reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a little clean linen for Sophia to wipe her face.
“Nae. Ye have said nothin’ wrong. Just a hard time, is all. I lost me father to the flames, and yes, me home too.”
Mildred pulled Sophia in for a hug. Even if they didn’t know each other too well, Mildred had long grown accustomed to being someone who comforted others. Sophia leaned into the hug. It had been so long since someone offered her a touch of comfort, and she appreciated it from Mildred. After the long days and nights, Sophia realized she longed for this kind of comforting. It was the first time in a long while that she truly wished she was not an only child.
“I think ye mum would be vary proud tae see ye out here, healin’. Ye should be proud, too. Ye are clearly suited for it, and ye know a lot,” Mildred said as she pulled away. Sophia wiped her eyes and nodded in agreement. Her mother would definitely have been proud, and it made Sophia feel fulfilled to know and believe this.
“And ye should know, the patients have only been sayin’ good things about ye. One said ye had hands like silk!” Mildred said, hoping to cheer up Sophia.
“Like silk! I have the hands of a chair builder. All bulky and dry!” Sophia stuck out her hands and laughed as she analyzed them in the light. She had long, slender fingers and short trim nails—definitely not the hands of a carpenter.
“Tis a good thing for the people here tae have a gentle person. They need someone who can lift their spirits right now. Tis a hard time for many people, ye know,” Mildred added.
Sophia nodded in agreement. “I try tae keep their spirits up. Tis what they need right now—tae believe it will get better. Tis the duty of a healer tae show them.”
“Aye; if only Logan had the same manners, he’d be more a comfortin’ presence and less of a bear.” Mildred leaned in as she said this and brought her hands to her mouth, imitating a bear biting down, but kept her voice at a normal volume. The two women laughed loudly at the impersonation. As nice as that night had been with Logan, Sophia had seen more than just a few bear-like outbursts from him, and she was sure others had seen many more.
Behind them, there was a sudden pounding on the table. The two jumped in shock and turned to find the source of the noise.
“Tis not easy bein’ Laird, ye know. Especially with so much on me plate!” Logan stood behind the two, visibly red and angered. He was furious they had been talking about him, especially so loudly, around his people. What would they think if his own healer and sister said such things about him? Surely, they wouldn’t respect him. It was not easy trying to improve everything around him. Maybe he didn’t have the best manners, but he was a good Laird.
“Why are ye poundin’ on the table like that, Logan?” Mildred stood suddenly to face Logan. Her cheeks was flushed, and she walked around the bench to stand in front of him.
“Ye canna be talkin’ about me like that, out here in the open.” He lowered his voice, but his tone remained fierce.
“Twas nothing but a joke, Logan.” She crossed her arms and glared at him.
Sophia stood after a moment and removed her apron. She threw it on the table. “Ye scared me half tae death. Tis hard enough always lookin’ out for me own ghosts and fears.” She turned and faced Logan directly. Logan and Mildred eyed her, waiting for what was going to come next.
“I should nae have tae look around all the time, fearin’ an angry boar of a laird is going tae come round and frighten me half tae death jist for havin’ a laugh. I should nae have to be watched all the time livin’ here!”
“I was nae watching ye, Sophia. I just heard ye two. I cannae allow that kinda talk about me, nae here and nae now—” He turned to Mildred then, “especially nae now.” Mildred refused to look at him.
“Well I shan’t live somewhere where I will be having all of me conversations listened tae and interrupted by a sudden beating on the table. Tis the first time in a long time that I was laughin’, and ye come here and start yelling. Ye sure as hell are actin’ like a bear right now!”
Sophia stood before Logan, furious as he was, and he realized how this must all look to her. He did need to demand respect, but Sophia was also a healer’s apprentice. She was part of why the recovery of the estate was going so well.
“I dinnae like bein’ frightened, after all that’s happened tae me. If ye’ll excuse me, I’ll be goin’ tae my bedchamber, since I have treated all my patients for the day.” Sophia turned before Logan could spit out another word. She stomped out of the great hall without bothering to put away any of her supplies.
Logan had not intended to shock her so much, but he was furious when he heard them. It wasn’t that he was watching her or listening to all of her conversations; he saw them and was coming over to speak to them when he heard. If he should be mad at anyone, it was his sister. But his outburst had, once again, proven to scare off people he had no desire to frighten or anger. Logan sat on the bench and rubbed his face with his large palm. He let out a long sigh of regret.
“Why did ye act like that, Logan? Are ye tryin’ tae lose one of the healers?” Mildred practically spit out the words. “Sophia is a good lass, and we were havin’ a nice talk. She’s been through a lot, that one.” Mildred crossed her arms. After a moment, she sat next to Logan.
“I know, but ye know how I feel about demandin’ respect. Tis important, the way thee people have been actin’ I cannae have any negative talk about me, especially in front of me.” He threw out his hands as he spoke. “There’s talk of a rebellion, Mildred!” He caught his volume and lowered it just as some patients walked by.
“Aye, but ye canna go around actin’ like that. A joke about ye bein’ a bear is not going to incite a great rebellion!” Mildred was clearly furious. She shook her head at Logan. “But all of this yellin’ and being brutish sure will.” She crossed her arms again and glared at him.
“Aye, I ken, yer right. Yer right. Ah’m sorry.” Logan turned towards his sister and hoped she would forgive him.
“Well why are ye turnin’ tae me, apologizing?” she said. Logan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Clearly,” Mildred continued, “tis Sophia ye need tae be apologizing tae. The lass has dealt with enough.”
“Aye, tis true.”
Logan knew the death of her father and the loss of her home was weighing heavy on Sophia. She had lost everything in the fires, and the few interactions they’d had were mostly terrible because of his sudden angry outbursts. He didn’t want to continue being this way. In fact, when he had seen her talking to his sister, a part of him had been thrilled. He thought perhaps they were talking about him, about their short walk to the stables.
Logan had not stopped thinking about her since that night. And seeing her there, on the bench, her long neck glistening with sweat, the curve of her back, he wanted nothing more than to go and talk to her, have another moment with her. Instead, he erupted in anger.
“I have nothin’ more tae say tae ye, Logan.” Mildred stood. “Ye owe this whole estate an apology for the way ye’ve been these few years.” With those words, she turned and stormed off.
They were both right. Logan knew he needed to find a way to make it up to Sophia. Given how much she had
lost, he had no right to play another part in making her life even more miserable. He decided he would show her how sorry he was, instead of just trying to apologize. At this point, he owed her something in exchange for all his carelessness.
Chapter Eleven
It was just after sunrise. Sophia stood in Fanny’s bedchamber, packing her things into the trunk. Fanny was preparing to go back to the great hall when a man knocked on Fanny’s bedchamber door. He was tall, with long, dark curls that fell loosely around his face. The door stood open, and Sophia recognized the man from the council meeting.
“Alrick, tae what do we owe the visit?” Fanny asked.
Sophia continued folding her things. She would be moving back into her bedchamber later that evening, and she wanted to make sure everything was ready. The last few days, though more calm than the beginning, were also more exhausting. After the alert tension had worn off, Sophia found herself physically weak and spent. The long strenuous days combined with many restless nights were truly wearing on her. That night, she was certain she would actually get some shut-eye if she went straight to bed.
“Fanny, good mornin’. I needed tae speak tae Sophia, actually.”
Sophia turned her head quickly and looked at Alrick. She wondered if this had anything at all to do with her fight with Logan. Was he really upset about his sister’s joke? Surely, he wouldn’t be sending Alrick to come and fetch her just to talk about it.
“Aye, why me?” she asked.
Alrick seemed surprised at her directness. “The scouts are heading out for the day tae check the homes. And tis time for yer part of the farmlands tae be explored. We will be inspecting the fields and the land tae see if anythin’ remains. I thought it best if ye go along tae see as well.” Alrick crossed his arms and stood in the doorway. “There will be many tae help ye, and ye can ride yer mare,” he added.
Sophia lit up at the idea of taking Moon out for a long ride. Though it would make her more tired, it was much better than being locked up in the great hall again.
Sophia set the dress she was folding back on the bed. She was grateful to be asked to go on this trip as well, but she was also very nervous about seeing whatever remained of her home, and nervous about leaving all the work to Fanny. She did not know if she would be able to handle seeing the land, or if she would wind up crying out, like she had in the council meeting. Still, there was not much to do but go.
“Alrigh’, I will go. When?” she asked.
“We will be leavin’ shortly, so it would be best if ye can get down tae the stables quick.” He nodded and turned on his heel to leave. Sophia knew her home was one of the closest to the borders. She was doubtful, considering how far the land was from the keep, that anything would remain there for her. Still she knew she had to go.
She turned to Fanny. “Do ye mind terribly if I go?”
Fanny shook her head immediately, “Nae, dear, ye go.” She paused and gathered all the supplies into a basket. “Did ye want me tae join ye? Do ye need a hand tae hold?” she asked, pausing for a moment.
The two left the bedchamber and started walking toward the great hall. Sophia thought as they walked. She wanted Fanny there, Fanny had been like a rock to her since the fires. She was so welcoming and comforting. She wished she could be there.
“Fanny, I would be thrilled for ye tae come. But ye canna do that! I canna take you from the patients that need ye.”
The two descended the stairs and turned the corner. The castle was a bustle as the staff prepared some things for the scouts to take out on their journey. Though the farmlands were not far, it was far enough that they would need some water and a little bread and cheese, because they would likely not return before dinner.
In the far end of the great hall, Gilbert had already set up the table with fresh buckets of water. Fanny walked over and set the basket of supplies down for him.
“I know the people need me here, Sophia, but ye need me as well!” Fanny wrung her hands, unsure of what to do. She did not like the idea of sending Sophia off to do something like this, so soon after the devastation, all by herself. She wanted to be there for her. But Sophia was right; there were still many patients who were healing from severe wounds. And even though Gilbert could manage well on his own, Fanny did not want him healing the patients with large burns. His hands were not always the steadiest or gentlest, and the burns that spanned entire backs needed the care of an elder.
“Ye do have a point, dear. I canna go with ye.” She turned suddenly to Gilbert and grabbed his shoulder.
“Gilbert, Sophia needs tae go see what remains of her home. I would like ye tae go with her. She needs some support, and I want ye there in case anything happens tae the scouts or they find anyone who is wounded and in need.” She gave him a pat when she finished.
Sophia looked between Fanny and Gilbert. Gilbert hadn’t been the most kind toward her since her move to the keep. She knew he likely wanted to be here, doing his healing duties, but it would be a good idea for him to go. Given that Sophia was going out to whatever remained of her home, she was not sure she would be much of a healer if her skills were needed.
Gilbert nodded finally. “Aye, I’ll go. I’ll take a bit a’ tonic and ointment with me in case.” He started grabbing some smaller bottles and filling them with the larger tonics they had prepared. He took one of the containers of ointment as well.
“Thank ye, Gilbert, tis very kind of ye tae join me.” Sophia said to him, not meeting his eyes. He nodded in response. “We will be meetin’ at the stables shortly,” she said.
He turned to his satchel and started adding in the containers, carefully arranging the glass in between the linens. Gilbert was not thrilled to be going out; it was written clearly on his face. But inside, he knew he should go. His own curiosity pushed him. Fanny had been the clan healer for a long time now, and he knew that Logan favored her. She was getting much older, and though she still seemed energetic for her age, he knew she did not have many decades left in her.
When the time would finally come where she would pass, Gilbert knew Logan would want her to appoint her own successor. Gilbert had been training with Fanny for many years now, but she had always held him back from doing too much healing. He wondered if perhaps she would choose him as her successor, or if it would be Sophia.
Now that Sophia was working with Fanny as well, Fanny seemed to be giving her a quicker education and more tasks than he’d received when he started. Was it because they knew each other?
He couldn’t deny that Sophia had great skill as a healer. She didn’t even have much training, but her skills came naturally to her in a way that they hadn’t to Gilbert. He could not help but be a little bit jealous. Still, he had worked much harder than her in these years, and he needed to prove to Fanny that he was the better successor.
This was why Gilbert felt the need to accompany Sophia, even though he would have preferred to stay behind and prove his skills. He needed to see how long it would be until Sophia returned home. How long he would have to work twice as hard to take the spotlight from her. And, if Sophia proved herself weak after seeing her home, and someone was in need of healing, he could show that his skills were good both in the castle and on a journey.
“While yer out there, the both of ye, do take the time tae see if ye can gather some herbs. We’re runnin’ low on yarrow root.” Fanny gave Gilbert some empty pouches and cloth for him to gather the herbs.
“There is plenty growin’ near where my home is,” Sophia caught herself. “Was,” she corrected. Fanny nodded and gave her hand a pat. Gilbert looked up at Sophia and slid his satchel over his head.
“Are ye ready to go?” he asked. Sophia nodded. The two said goodbye to Fanny and made their way toward the stables.
Once they arrived at the stables, Sophia rushed over and went straight for Moon.
“Oh, Moonie, it has been tae many days.” She ran her open palm along the mare’s snout, and Moon whinnied in response. “Aye, I know ye’ve missed me tae,�
�� she added. Moon shook her long hair. The wind blew a gentle breeze through the stable and Sophia reached up to braid her hair back. She had a ribbon around her waist that she used to fasten the braid in place. Once she was ready to mount, she led her mare out from the stables.
One of the scouts helped Gilbert onto a different horse. Sophia looked around. Surrounding them were many people she had only seen a few times before. There were some patients who had healed quickly, some farm people she had crossed paths with on a few occasions, and many scouts there to help protect them in the event they needed it.
“Alright. We will all be headin’ out in the same direction, but as we get closer tae the border, we will part ways. There will be two scouts tae each family. We will be lookin’ at the fields and the farmhouses. Try tae see if anythin’ can be salvaged. If ye do see something, let a scout know so we can gather it or send others back later on. I ken this is a hard time for many of ye. But try to have strength.” He mounted his horse and gave a wave which signaled that everyone was to head out to the border.