by Fiona Faris
“Now, what did ah say? Gimme some time!” Fanny smiled widely and held up the mirror. In the very center, Sophia noticed a small thumbprint patch that was clean, showing a glass that was almost in new condition.
“Here,” she handed Sophia the mirror. “I shall begin on the comb. Now, ye need to work in small circles and press hard, but nae so hard ye break the glass. Alright?” Sophia took the mirror greedily and clutched it to her chest.
“I shall!” She set to work scrubbing the mirror with her apron. Meanwhile, Fanny held the small comb in her hand. Sophia watched her out of the corner of her eye. Fanny moved gently, not pushing too hard. The comb was much more difficult to clean; it required pushing into the picks of it but not so hard she would chip it. The intricate carvings required cleaning with a tiny scrap of her apron.
“Hm,” Fanny lifted the comb and put it towards Sophia’s face.
Sophia looked up and smiled wide. “I cannae believe ye are gettin’ it clean. Thank ye, Fanny, truly.” Sophia reached over and placed her palm on Fanny’s arm. Fanny smiled in response.
“Sophia dear, all things can be made anew. Even what seems tae be beyond repair. Remember that. These fires will bring a great rebirth.”
Sophia considered the statement and continued cleaning the mirror. The small circles were doing wonders, and it was beginning to return to its old state.
“Fanny, I cannae say that all things can be made anew. I dinnae ken if I believe it.” She set the mirror down for a moment and stood. She started to pace the room. “Seein’ me ol’ home like that, I dinnae ken if it will ever be the same, living there. But I cannae say this is home. I cannae stay here so long, Fanny.” She stuck her hands out in surrender and looked to the ceiling.
Fanny stopped cleaning the comb for a moment and tried to listen to Sophia. “Why ye say that? Ye can stay here in the keep, ye can be my apprentice!” Fanny motioned to everything around her. “This is a good place tae be fer now.” She went back to scrubbing at the comb.
“Fanny, ye already have an apprentice—Gilbert.” Sophia knew Gilbert didn’t care for her much. However, she understood that Gilbert had worked hard for this life, while Sophia was just handed it. Granted, she received it after great losses, but still, she didn’t know if she could stay and continue working with Gilbert. She believed the distance between them would only continue to grow.
“Aye, an’ who says I cannae have two apprentices?” Fanny tilted her head and pursed her lips as she looked at Sophia. “Dinnae go around makin’ excuses for why ye canna stay here. Ye have nowhere to turn, and this is a fine place to begin anew. Like this comb, ye just need some polishin’. Like the soil that needs tae be tilled, ye just need time and to be turned anew.”
“Yer right, Fanny. I dinnae have anywhere else tae go. I might as well do me best and try tae get on well here,” Sophia said as she sat back down to polish the mirror.
“Ye’ve got a good hand fer the healin’, Sophia. Dinnae pretend this is nae somethin’ yer meant to do.” Fanny looked at her from the corner of her eye and smirked as Sophia looked at her own hands.
Her mother had always said she had a gentle and caring soul. She had hoped for many years that Sophia would go on and be a healer. And Sophia could not deny that her time spent helping others had distracted her from her pain; it helped remedy it, too. If she could help all of these people, then at least she was making a difference, even if she could not do that in her own life.
The two stood in silence for a few moments. Fanny decided to speak first. “Sophia, did I ever tell ye about the last time I saw yer mother?” She looked to the corner of the room, her eyes slightly unfocused.
“Nae, Fanny, but I’d love tae hear it.” Sophia knew Fanny and her mother had a wonderful friendship, and that they helped heal many people, but she had heard few stories from her. Fanny nodded. Her eyes looked moist.
“She was a wonderful woman, a kind woman, and like ye, a grand healer.” She paused and took in a deep breath. “I needed her help one day. Twas shortly before she was ill. I asked her to come with me to a nearby farm, where a man had been bucked from his stallion.”
Sophia leaned forward, not at all focused on the mirror. She listened intently. She loved hearing about her mother, but it hurt her father too much to talk about her. This was the first story she’d heard about her in years.
Fanny continued, seeing how intent Sophia was. “Well, the man was badly hurt; his whole arm was near danglin’ off. Not his skin, but the bone. It had come loose. I didnae ken what tae do. Yer mother always was much braver than I. So I asked her to help. She marched right up to the lad, and she said, ‘now, this will hurt, but it shall help.’” Fanny paused to catch her breath.
“And what did my mother do?” Sophia asked. She was enjoying the image of her mother standing before a fallen man, ready to do whatever was necessary to save him.
“She bent right on down, sat the man up, and pushed with all her might. She popped the damn bone right back in place. Sure enough, the man yelped in agony, but within moments, he was up and movin’ ‘round much better than before.”
“I had no idea she could do that—set bones, I mean.” Sophia’s eyes were wide in wonder. There were few who could set bones in this part of land.
“Aye, I never seen a woman use such force, but she trusted herself. She knew what she had tae do and she did it,” Fanny added. Sophia looked around and tried to conjure the image of her mother standing there, pushing a man’s bone back in place.
“Tis why ye need tae trust yerself, tae, lassie,” Fanny said. Sophia nodded in agreement. “And we’ll be needin’ ye a lot more ’round here if the clans are gonna be havin’ a greater rivalry now,” she added as an afterthought.
“What do ye mean, rivalry? I hadnae heard of a rivalry.” Sophia furrowed her brow in confusion.
“Oh, tis all people are talkin’ bout now. The rivalry between Dillon and Logan.” Fanny seemed shocked at Sophia’s lack of knowledge about the situation.
“What are people thinkin’?” Sophia asked.
“Well, tis the fact that Dillon wants Logan’s estate that has people all riled up. That, and that Logan has changed much since Isla’s death. But he is a good laird, ‘n I believe he is there when his people need him.” Fanny always spoke so kindly about Logan. She had a fondness for him that she didn’t have for most people. Even when he was brutish or grumbly, she saw right through it.
“I started livin’ in this castle when Logan was just a wee one. I ken what a good man he is. He takes after his own father, that one. But yes, Dillon wants the land, and there are some who think he may be a better fit than Logan. I wouldnae be surprised if a battle happened soon. Dillon is nae one tae sit aroun’ and wait for a chance to take over.”
Sophia could not believe all she heard. A battle? A rivalry? The fires had caused so much damage; to think that these people would have to go into battle terrified her. But that was the cost of keeping an estate such as this. The proximity to the river, the lush farm fields, and the tender soil; there was so much to love about this land. As rough as Logan was, Sophia knew he loved this land too. She could see it in his eyes.
“Do ye think it was Dillon who set the fires?” Sophia asked after a moment.
“Aye, I wouldnae put it past him. He would rather see many die than lose a chance at more power, more land,” Fanny responded.
Sophia’s hands balled into fists, and fury filled her. She could not believe anyone would do that in an effort to force a man to give up his land. She had never seen Dillon, but from what she could gather, he was a cruel and unforgiving man.
“Tis what most people think. That he did it,” Fanny added.
“I could kill him if tis true,” Sophia added. She used the fury that built up in her body to work at cleaning the mirror. What a coward, she thought. If he started the flames, he chose nighttime because that was when people were at their most vulnerable. If the time came for a battle, Sophia would do whatever she was allow
ed to ensure Dillon got his payback.
“There are many who would join ye in that journey,” Fanny laughed. “Myself included. Well, I think tis time for a small break, since we been scrubbin’ at these beauties fer some time now.” Fanny stood and set the trinkets on the trunk she was sitting on. Sophia nodded and stood too.
“Tis time fer some food, I think. I can feel me belly growlin’ at me.” Sophia rubbed her thin stomach and laughed to herself. “Twas a rough day I had, I could use a nice meal and a mug of ale.” The two left the bedchamber and made their way towards the great hall.
As they walked, Sophia thought back to the night when the fires began. There were some people who had been walking through their area of the border. She paid no attention to them at the time because she was certain they were travelers, but she began to wonder if perhaps they had something to do with the flames. She and Fanny continued on, winding their way through the long stone halls.
Sophia turned and asked Fanny suddenly, “Aye, Fanny, did ye see Gilbert return?”
“I havenae seen him since he left with ye this mornin’. Is he alright?” she asked.
“I am nae sure; he was there, then he was gone.” Sophia wondered where Gilbert could have gone. He was a quiet man, but not normally one to go off on his own hunt.
“I suppose we shall see him at mealtime. He’s a bit mysterious, that one, likes a bit of quiet time to himself from time to time.” Fanny patted Sophia on the back. “But like a true healer, ye do care about all.” Fanny grinned.
“I just want tae make sure he is alrigh’. I was distracted earlier and wasnae doin much good at keepin’ an eye on him.” She wrung her hands as they walked. Sophia felt guilty for not looking for him earlier. Logan didn’t seem to be too worried at the time.
Fanny tried to ease Sophia’s worries. “He likely went off in search of more yarrow. I am sure he will return to us with a good deal of grand herbs.”
“Aye, I think so,” she said after a moment.
As they walked the halls, the two continued running into staff and patients. Sophia was still not accustomed to having a meal with so many people. Many of the nights since she had moved to the keep, she skipped going to dinner in favor of eating bread and cheese in her room. Sometimes, seeing all the damage in the form of too many homeless families made the situation more difficult to bear.
Sophia paused suddenly and waved Fanny forward. “Ye go on. I need a moment before I head in,” she said. Fanny listened and went in to the great hall ahead of her.
Suddenly, Sophia was struck with an intense wave of nausea. She stepped out into the courtyard to get a fresh breath of air. Her lungs felt tight, and her stomach clenched and unclenched. Her mind drifted back to the night of the fires. There was something strange she could not let go of—a memory. It came to her with a great force that almost knocked the wind out of her.
That night, while she was being carried out by her father, Sophia had peeked from beneath the quilt. She thought she was seeing things, but in fact, she had seen a man running from the barn. He had a torch in his hand and was wearing a kilt of bright red, the likes of which she had not seen before. Logan’s estate colors were navy and lichen in color, much different than what she saw that night.
But that was not all. The man ran towards a group of shadows. There was a soft glow in the woods behind her house that night in the direction the man headed. Sophia wondered if perhaps she had seen Laird Dillon in the moment of setting aflame the estate. And if she saw a group of shadows, there had to have been more than one person setting the flames.
Logan was already very suspicious of Dillon, and Sophia wondered what would happen if she told him this. Would they spring right into battle? Sophia could not bear the thought of a battle after all the loss of the flames. She knew she should tell him, but she worried his rage would come through.
And what would he think of her? She was in the council meeting when they discussed the fires. What if he asked her why she had said nothing until now? Would he believe she only now recalled these details after visiting the site of the flames? Would he think she doubted him as leader?
Sophia didn’t know what would come of the discussion. She only knew she had to talk to him. So she walked into the great hall, her chin held high.
Chapter Thirteen
Sophia felt a sense of calm wash over her as she walked into the great hall. She knew it was best for her to tell Logan what happened, regardless of the outcome. She wasn’t going to allow herself to be weighed down by the memories. If he doubted her, so be it. She was more concerned with keeping the clan safe. Sophia entered the great hall and saw a long table of many of the families, who were also missing their homes and farms. As she waved to some people she knew, she realized there was little space for her to sit there.
Fanny called her over. “Sophia, ye can sit with us.” Sophia looked over to the long table where Fanny sat. The open seat she gestured to was only a few seats away from Logan and his family. Next to Fanny sat Gilbert. Sophia was relieved to find he was alright. Even if they didn’t get along, she wanted to make sure he was not lost or injured.
Sophia walked over and sat on the other side of Fanny. In front of them were a few roast hogs, steaming bowls of mashed root vegetables, and baskets of bread being passed around. Sophia’s stomach rumbled at the sight of the feast in front of her. She looked over to the tables of families to see if they too were excited by the meals, but instead, she noticed many long, sorrowful looks. They felt a state of grief that she also felt in the core of her being. One that even a great feast couldn’t ease.
Sophia loaded the plate that was set in front of her. She had not had a good meal in over a day. The stress had made it difficult to eat. However, Sophia seemed to be handling the events of the day well. The fact that she was able to retrieve a few things from her home made her feel better. Her conversation with Fanny had helped greatly as well. Maybe she was needed and helpful here in the keep, even if it would take a long while for this place to feel like a home to her.
Sophia bit into her piece of boar and closed her eyes. She tilted her head back and let out a soft moan. This was some of the best meat she had ever tasted. There were only a few times Sophia had tasted roasted boar. Even in the last few days, she had grown accustomed to bowls of grain or stew with tougher pieces of meat. But this meal was akin to one that would be served at a grand ball. She leaned forward and grabbed a roll. She placed a heap of cheese in the center and bit in.
Gilbert let out a chuckle. “Seems ye have a large appetite!” Sophia continued eating, unfazed by his expression. She had not realized until that moment how little she had been eating. Aside from the meat, the root vegetables were the best. The potatoes were cooked with honey and cream, and held a sweetness she had never tasted before in that starchy vegetable.
After getting her fill of bread, cheese, and meat, Sophia looked around at her table. She was much closer to Logan than she had originally noticed, and when she looked up, she met his eyes. He nodded his head towards her plate as if to ask if she was enjoying the meal. Sophia smiled widely. She lifted another roll she had filled with cheese and motioned it towards Logan, as if to toast him. He mimicked her and also bit into his cheese-stuffed roll.
After getting some food into her stomach, her appetite felt enough to eat more slowly. Sophia could not help but glance over at Logan. He leaned over and tore apart the pieces of meat for his daughter. She sat up and kissed him on the cheek, and he smiled more widely than Sophia had ever seen him grin. The little girl put a piece of boar in her mouth and laughed. Logan continued eating, but every few seconds, he leaned over to her and ruffled her hair or he told her something to make her laugh. Even when the young girl spilled some tea, he simply bent over, picked up the cup, and wiped the table clean. There was no hint of the anger he carried with him throughout the day. There was only a deep kindness in his eyes.
Sophia loved seeing Logan like this, carefree and loving. She thought what she was seeing
had to be the Logan that lived beneath all the pressure and grief, a kind and loving father. Something about the image made her long to be near him, to hear what little jokes he whispered in his daughter’s ear. She was shocked to see how quickly he could change his tone and his face. Even when he turned to his sisters, it was not at all the same loving glance he gave to his daughter. Sophia thought that had to be what being a good father was like. Being the best version of oneself with the wee one. Sophia could not help but think of her own father in that moment. He had also been a good man, one who was stern but who raised her with small tales before bed and jokes between bites of dinner. She wished he was with her then, enjoying the feast and making hog noises as they bit into the roast boar.
Sophia’s thoughts wandered again, and she considered whether there would be a time for her to become like her mother. Would she one day have her own little one to raise? She knew that healing had to come first for now, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to live the life of a single maiden for long. When she looked over to Logan, she realized that she longed for a family like that. The way he treated his daughter, he must have been an amazing husband to his wife, too. Sophia wondered if she would ever find a man to share similar precious moments with.