by Fiona Faris
Sophia had already begun loading her plate and smearing cheese on her roll, so she simply smiled in response.
The meal passed by quickly, and many people showed and ate to their hearts’ content. People whispered stories of the ones they lost, and many expressed their gratitude to Logan for offering them a new home. He thanked everyone for their support of him as Laird.
“I commit tae providing fer all of ye as best as I can. I will do all I can tae protect ye, and to care fer ye as family. That is what a clan is, a family. I am saddened by the great losses we have experienced, but I know that their souls are at rest, and we honor them and the lives they gave for us.” He motioned his glass toward Sophia as he said this. Soft tears streamed down her face, but she smiled, happy to hear her father’s memory was being honored.
Logan paused and turned to all of them. “Now that the food has been licked clean from the plate,” people around him chuckled, “tis time tae say our proper goodbyes. We will be going outside for the fire ceremony.” Everyone began to gather their things. Families grouped together and carried what they had brought outside.
In the grass near the farm lands of the estate, the sisters had made sure to organize a stone ring to grow a large fire. The fire ceremony was one of the most important elements of the burial. It was a chance when everyone would finally be able to say goodbye to their loved ones. Traditionally, each person who lost someone would approach the flames with an item that reminded them of the person. They would say their final goodbyes to their loved ones, and then they would place the item in the flames. Through the burning, the soul would finally be freed, and the living could feel content, knowing they were able to say goodbye at last.
Logan watched as Sophia carried with her the only cloak she had: the simple and thin cloak that had an embroidered primrose on it. He knew it must have been a gift from her father. Though it probably pained her to burn it, it likely brought on greater pains to keep the item close to her after the great loss.
By the time Logan, Ava, and his sisters were outside, many of the families had already surrounded the stone circle. The fire climbed high, reaching to the setting sun, as if to return to the great fire of the sky. The flames were both beautiful and terrifying. Logan stood near Sophia, even though she seemed shocked by his close presence.
Diana began calling up families one by one from a roster. Some were elderly, some were children, and others were young adults. Each person said their final words and shared a memory of the loved one they would continue to cherish for the rest of their lives.
Sophia wept silently, but the tears were cleansing. She knew it was the last of the grief leaving her. She would always struggle with the loss, but this was her opportunity to let go, and to recognize that her life would always be marked by this moment. She dabbed at her eyes with the cloak.
Finally, her father’s name was called, and Sophia stepped forward.
“My father died protecting me from those flames. Seems ironic that I stand before these flames here tae say goodbye. But life is like that; there are grand and noble things that have the power to break ye if they so much as have the chance. My father was a brave man, and a father in every sense of the word. I miss him greatly, but I know that he would be proud of the woman I have become, the woman I am becoming.” With those words, she threw the cloak into the flames. All around her people clapped. “Goodbye, Father,” she said.
After Sophia threw in the cloak, she could not bear to speak anymore. She watched as everyone around her followed her actions. There were so many people around this fire, each burning an item that held painful memories, but also held the essence of the people they lost. They were finally ready to let the souls be at peace.
Logan watched everyone, but found his eyes continuously going back to Sophia. By the time everyone was finished burning their items, the sisters arranged for wine to be brought around for everyone. It was a funeral, but it was also a celebration of the lives the people had led. Everyone sipped their drinks and let the warmth of the wine wash over them. It was easy to get lost in the night sky, and as Logan looked up at the stars, he knew he had things he wanted to say to Sophia.
He went over to where she stood alone, watching the flames as they flickered.
“Sophia,” he started, “I just want ye tae know I appreciate all ye did fer Ava.” He wrung his hands as he spoke.
“Aye, no need fer thanks, Logan. I am happy tae be here, tae be able tae help Ava.”
“I cannae believe someone has been poisoning the people. Tis despicable that someone would do that tae my little Ava. I will catch the person who is involved in this, and I will make them pay.”
Sophia looked away from Logan’s outburst, but she understood how he could be so protective. It was hard to believe there was someone around them who would be so willing to do so much harm.
“I know ye will, Logan. I dinnae know where anyone could have gotten so many of those belladonna mushrooms. Tae put it in the water, it must be someone who is well-trusted. I will keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary, Logan, I assure ye.” Sophia nodded firmly as if she too was invested in this. And she was. She never wanted to see Ava so sick again, especially not at the hands of a malicious action.
Logan reached out and grabbed Sophia’s hand. She blushed—they were out in the open. He looked around, but few people were nearby, and even they were distracted by the wine and the flames. He asked himself if he cared whether or not anyone saw. He did not have an answer just yet. Logan just knew he wanted to hold her hand.
“Are ye not afraid of what the people will say?” Sophia asked in a volume barely above a whisper.
It was then Logan made the decision to focus on himself. “Nae, I have done all I can tae prove myself tae the people. If they dinnae trust me by now, they surely never will. If holdin’ yer hand makes me a bad leader, so be it. There’s much to worry about and handholding, will nae be one of them.”
As Logan spoke so openly about how much he wanted to hold her hand, Sophia could not resist herself. She turned and faced him. She studied his face for a moment, and decided that if she had already lost everything, there was nothing that should hold her back from doing what she so most wanted to do in that moment.
She dropped his hand and cupped his face. Before Logan had a moment to think further, she pulled him in and kissed him. Their lips met, and the only sound around them was the crackle of the fire. Sophia pulled him in as close as she could, and Logan embraced her, tangling his hands in her loose curls.
The people around were mostly distracted, and since Sophia had walked some distance away, very few people saw the kiss.
“Sophia, I have wanted tae kiss ye again since the first moment our lips touched,” Logan whispered to Sophia as he leaned his forehead against hers.
“Kissin ye is all I can think about; tis the only light in these dark and confusing moments,” Sophia said quietly.
Before they continued kissing, Logan looked around and watched for any stray eyes. He grabbed Sophia’s hand and pulled her back to where the people had been standing. The ritual was over, and everyone was enjoying their wine and heading back to their bedchambers.
Logan looked around, and seeing that his sisters had likely already taken Ava to bed, he pulled Sophia in for another kiss near the burning flames. They were both caught in the heat of each other and the flames mere steps from them.
Logan pulled himself away only long enough to ask Sophia what he had been wanting to ask her for days. “Come with me, Sophia?”
Sophia bit her lip. She chewed the dry skin and looked away. There were so many nights she thought about his touch, about what loving him would feel like. She drove herself wild with pleasure just dreaming about it alone. She wanted Logan’s hands to move along her flesh, to squeeze her and pull her in. She wanted to feel him inside of her, the way she had imagined it would be so many nights alone in her bedchamber in the keep. Sophia turned to face Logan and she nodded gently.
“Y
es, Logan. I will go with you.”
He smiled, his teeth gleaming in the moonlight, and he looked around before pulling her along. Sophia smiled too, feeling a giddiness she had not felt in a long while. Her heart pounded and she felt a shiver work its way up her spine.
The two went towards the great hall, but Logan continued pausing at each corner, listening. It was not so much that he didn’t want to be seen, but he did not want their moment to be interrupted by some lairdly duties, or his prying sisters. He wanted to stay caught up in this moment between them and never let it end. It had been years since he felt ready to be with another woman, but seeing how Sophia was with Ava, feeling their lips touch moments ago, and before that, outside Ava’s bedchamber, he knew she was the woman who could pull him from the long depression he had been caught in.
They stopped at one corner, and Logan could hear the voices of Mildred and Diana.
“Did ye see him? He kissed her, there in front of all the people!” Diana whispered.
Mildred chuckled before responding, “I knew he had eyes fer her. I had seen the way he was lookin’ at her. Tis the first time in a long while that I have seen him look at any woman like that.” Mildred let out a sigh. “I wanted tae speak with him ‘bout her, but I cannae find him. Have ye seen him?” There was silence as Diana likely shook her head back and forth.
Logan looked back at Sophia and smiled. He did not seem to mind his sisters talking about him for once. Sophia laughed, but covered her mouth to keep from making noise.
After a few moments of silence, it was obvious the sisters had left the hall, and were heading to their own private rooms. Logan pulled Sophia along until they were inside his bedchamber.
He shut the door. In the dark, Sophia’s skin felt heated. He pulled her close and leaned down to kiss her neck. He moved his lips along the curve, kissing all the way to her clavicle. He parted his lips and ran his tongue along the curve, and Sophia let out a soft, barely perceptible sigh of pleasure. Logan’s hands went to untie the threads that bound her dress together, but suddenly, Sophia’s body stiffened.
He stopped, sensing her discomfort. “Are ye alrigh’, Sophia?”
Sophia pulled away, missing within moments the touch of his lips along her neck.
“I cannae do this, Logan,” she said finally. “I cannae be with you, right now, just because I want tae feel something more than the grief I have been holdin’.”
It was dark in the room, but Logan could see her head shaking back and forth. He pulled his hands away from her. “Aye, I agree, Lassie.” As much as Logan wanted to be with Sophia, he wanted to be with her when the feeling was mutual. So he strode towards the bedchamber door and started to walk out. He looked back to her and reached his hand out so she could place hers in his. The two walked through the halls to Sophia’s rooms.
“Thank ye for walking me back to my bedchamber,” Sophia mumbled. She was feeling embarrassed about the situation, but was happy he had noticed her stiffen up. She was not sure if she was ready to be with him, especially not tonight, after saying goodbye to her father.
They reached Sophia’s bedchamber door, and Sophia planted a kiss on Logan’s cheek. “Goodnight, Logan.”
Logan smiled and placed a kiss on Sophia’s forehead. “Goodnight, Sophia.” She went inside, and Logan lingered in the hallway for a moment. He turned and went towards his own bedchamber. As he walked, he could not help but think of how much he wanted to be with her. But it was more than a physical attraction. Logan was developing feelings for Sophia. Deep feelings that were undeniable, and unlike anything he had felt for any woman in a very, very long time.
Chapter Nineteen
Sophia was in a deep sleep, her chest rising and falling in unison with the rhythm of the soft winds whistling through her window. The breeze carried the subtle scent of ash and smoke. Suddenly, her room was overpowered with the smell. Sophia’s nose wiggled in response to the scent, and she stirred from her sleep. Her body recognized the scent that had long left her traumatized. Through the open window, Sophia heard whimpers and neighs carrying in. She turned on her bed, thinking she was having a nightmare again, one where she was back on her farms, trapped with her horses in the barns as the flames took over her land, a nightmare she had continuously after leaving her home because of the tragedy.
But after a few moments, she knew she could not ignore the sound or the smell any longer. The night felt warmer than it had in some time and she threw the quilt off of her exposed legs. She stood from her bed and made her way over to the window.
She knew right away something was not right. The usual gray clouds looked dark and heavy, not only with the threat of rain, but with something else. As she walked closer to the window, she realized that those were not thunderheads, but huge, billowing clouds of smoke. Smoke like the sooty billows from the night of the flames.
She pushed her face against the window and tried to get a better look. The stained glass blurred her vision, but she knew she could see shadows moving on the grounds below. Each held a torch, and she recognized the shape of the stables far off. She saw the stables, too, were aglow with the flames, as if lit by the torches themselves. Nearby, she could see other people bending by what appeared to be the healer’s herb garden.
No! Sophia thought in panic. She knew how important that garden was to her work and to the people of the estate. There, in the garden, grew many herbs and remedies that were difficult to find through foraging. If it was burned completely, it would be hard to regrow all they needed to heal people. Part of why they had been able to save so many was because of the plethora of plants they grew in that herb garden.
Sophia turned away from the window. She went towards her bed and grabbed the heavy quilt she had tossed aside mere moments ago. She threw it over her shoulders and made her way towards the bedchamber door. She knew where she needed to go, who she needed to get to. She was happy that she had not stayed in Logan’s bed the night prior, because now she could reach him more easily. Now she could tell him all that happened just outside the keep.
Sophia threw open her bedchamber door and rushed outside. The walk to Logan’s door was not long when they paced it last night. In fact, it had felt shorter than she would have liked, but as she made her way over there right now, she found the long stretches of hallway too reaching. Each turn was another moment where she was giving the shadows outside time to further ruin the castle garden and the stable.
Moon! The thought hit Sophia later than she wanted, and she worried for the health of her mare. She knew Moon was a fighter, someone who could easily overtake a few bodies if she needed to, but still she worried about the people hurting her, or worse, stealing her away. She picked up her pace and rushed towards Logan’s room. She wondered if anyone knew about the people outside, or if she had been the only one to wake.
Sophia turned down a long hallway, but stopped when she realized how similar all the hallways looked. What if she had made a wrong turn? She wasn’t sure she was going the right way anymore. She ran to the end of the hallway where there was a window. If she could just make out the shapes of the outside she would be able to recognize where in the castle she was exactly.
She looked out the window and saw the figures still with the torches. She had turned the wrong way and was practically making circles in the hall while the people outside lit the garden on fire. Thankfully, the stables looked as if they still stood, but it was so hard to tell. Sophia knew she only needed to run down the hall and make a left at the last turn. She knew she would reach Logan’s room in moments.
Her heart raced and her breathing quickened. She ran down the cold halls until she was facing his room again. The memories of last night came rushing back—his lips along her skin, how close they had been to sleeping with each other. But she pushed the lust away for the time being and lifted her fist, pounding it against the door in front of her.
On the other side of the wood, she could hear Logan moving and shuffling, “Aye! What’s all the noise ‘bout?
” He sounded furious.
Sophia thought to herself, Good, maybe the anger will help. Logan opened the door and stood there shirtless. His eyebrows were up, and he looked confused. His eyes roamed the frame of her body in her thin shift.
“Sophia, are ye alright?” he asked.
Sophia fumbled on her words and struggled to tell him. “Logan, there are people—they have torches—the stables, the healer’s garden.” She spit the words out in no particular order and could see Logan’s mind working to piece it all together. He turned from her and rushed around in his room, grabbing clothes and reaching for the claymore he kept tucked by his bed.
“By the stables, ye say?” Logan asked. Sophia nodded. “I’ll need tae get Alrick!” Logan rushed out of the room. He went only a few doors down and began pounding on Alrick’s door.
“Alrick, Alrick, ye need tae get up!” Before Logan had a chance to pound on the doors a fourth time, Alrick threw it open.
“Logan, tis late?” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes.