“Well if this was a real game, I’d be a lot better at it,” Will shot back, a grin on his face. He must’ve just shaved this morning before driving all the way here; his cheeks and chin were free of stubble. I wanted to run my fingers along it and feel the smoothness, touch his boyish dimples and nip at those lips.
It was difficult to keep the horny girl inside of me in check when surrounded by such cute and attractive testosterone.
“A real game?” I echoed, tossing a chip right at his face. He let it hit his forehead and fall to his lap, and then he proceeded to eat it. He didn’t even pause the game, which meant his character was only getting further behind. “Mario Kart is a real game, and you guys know at least one of you has to finish in fourth place or above, otherwise you don’t get to move on to the next race.” A public service announcement I suppose I should have told them sooner, because they both turned to look at me like I’d just told them zombies were real and the apocalypse was happening just outside the dorm door.
They went back to playing, and no surprise, it came down to Declan and Will fighting for whoever could get seventh place. I watched, holding back my laughter as their two cartoon characters raced to the finish line. Will just barely nudged past Declan, which secured him in seventh; Declan got eighth. Neither guy had any right to brag, though. They both sucked, and if they sucked against the crappy computer players, they’d only suck worse when going against me.
Declan let out a groan, and Will lifted his hands in the air, as if he’d just won a gold medal in the Olympics, like he stood on a platform in front of a huge audience. “I am the winner,” Will said with a laugh. “You, little brother, can eat my shit.”
I busted out laughing, because something like that was not what I expected Will to say.
Declan frowned, but I could tell he was fighting not to laugh. “You’re acting like you beat me by a mile. You made it across the finish line two seconds before me.”
“And you still lost,” Will said.
“And you both still suck,” I reminded them. I hopped off my bed and grabbed the controller from Declan, pushing to sit between them. Right in between the two brothers who I most certainly should not have feelings for, the two brothers I most definitely had feelings for. Go fucking figure. That was just how my life went. I should know it by now.
Declan scooted aside on the floor, pouting. Only he could pull off a look like that and still be adorably cute. “I don’t suck that bad,” he whispered, as if he was really hurt.
I knew he was trying to make me feel for him, and damn it, it was working. “I was watching,” I said, “and you both suck hard at this.” I restarted a new match and chose a different race track, along with a different character. In all my life, I was always the big mean turtle. Bowser was my go-to guy.
Hah…even in childish videogames, I always went for the bad guy. Ironic.
“But I guess after I kick Will’s ass, I can then kick yours,” I told Declan as the race loaded. I shot a glance at him over my shoulder, giving him a warm smile. “I’m all about spreading the love.”
Declan stared at me, his dark eyes unreadable. My stomach did a little flip, and I was quick to return my attention to the TV. Beside me, Will nudged me and whispered, “I guess I get the love first then, huh?”
I had no idea what he meant, but all the same, I felt my cheeks flaring up. I pretended not to notice the heat creeping up my cheeks as the race started. Just as I knew I would, I blasted off as soon as the red light turned green, leaving him in the dust.
Will was actually so bad—or I was just that good—that I actually passed him doing my third lap around the racetrack while he was still doing his second. I might’ve saved up a banana peel just for him, purposefully letting it loose when I drove my character close enough. It was a wasted banana, since he was so far behind, but it made me laugh all the same.
“Cruel,” Will murmured, tossing a quick look at his brother. “I don’t see how you room with her. She’s so mean.”
“She is mean,” Declan agreed, and as I crossed the finish line—nabbing myself first place, no surprise there—I reached over and gave him a soft push. “See? She’s beating me up right now, in front of my own brother.”
“The nerve I have,” I said with a smile.
Declan’s chocolaty stare fell to my shoulder as he added, “You’ll probably be the death of me.” Whispered so seriously, so softly I hardly heard him. Will was trying to finish his third lap, so I wasn’t sure if he heard it or not. But I did, and the words weighed heavily on me.
I hoped he was joking. I hoped his words were just something stupid he thought to say, but when I met his eyes, when he sluggishly drew those warm, kind eyes from my shoulder and back to my face, I knew. I knew without a doubt he wasn’t joking. He meant it, and that made me feel awful, really. This world…I didn’t want to be a part of it if Declan wasn’t in it, and I sure as hell could never live with myself if I was the reason something happened to him.
If I would’ve been later that night…if I wouldn’t have gotten to him in time and used my shirt as a tourniquet, he’d be dead. Right now, I was the reason he was still here, and yet he really did believe that I would be the death of him.
With my shitty luck, he was probably right.
When Will finally crossed the finish line, I took the controller from his hands and gave it to Declan.
Time passed in a blur, and I was so lost in my own mind that I zoned out during most of dinner. Will had run off campus and picked up McDonald’s—getting me my favorite chicken nuggets. He’d spoil me if he wasn’t careful.
As I stuck a fry in my mouth, Will set down his drink. “I do have some news,” he said, glancing between both me and Declan. “I wanted to tell you both before I left. It became official last week, but I wanted to let you guys know in person.” As he spoke, his hazel eyes mainly focused on me, giving me weird feelings by the multitude.
I had no idea what news he could possibly have, so I stayed quiet. Declan, however, said, “As long as you aren’t coming here and putting yourself behind because of me.” He must’ve known his older brother well enough, for Will said nothing for a while, causing him to add, “Damn it, Will. Tell me you’re not.”
I was slightly confused, so I asked, “What? What’s going on?” My chicken nuggets were mostly gone now; all I had left were a few salty fries—the best kind, really—but they sat untouched in their red holder while I stared at the two brothers.
It took Will a minute to say as he stared at Declan, “Effective January, I’ll be a Hillcrest student. I’m transferring next semester, to keep an eye on you.” His hazel eyes roamed to me, an underlying message left unsaid: and on you.
Will was coming to Hillcrest for Declan…and for me.
Shit. Things just got even more complicated, didn’t they? Well, who knew? I mean, there was still just over two months before January. We were in the middle of October, so there was time for things to calm down, for these feelings inside of me to go away…or at least time for me to practice ignoring them and acting like they didn’t exist.
Declan got to his feet, and Will followed. I remained on the floor, lost in my own thoughts. “No,” Declan said. “You can’t come here. You’re a senior at Stanton. Hillcrest was never your place—”
“No,” Will cut in, “it wasn’t, and it still isn’t, but I’m not going to sit by while everyone terrorizes you. Next semester, if they want to get to you, they’ll have to come through me first.”
“Nothing has happened since that night.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s over,” Will stated, crossing his arms. Since he was more muscular than Declan, his movements made a bigger impact. They also drew my eyes to his arms, where his muscles were, the bulging veins along his tan skin. “You never told dad what happened. Someone attacked you, Declan. Someone tried to kill you. That’s not something someone can just walk away from. If they failed, they’re likely to try again.”
All Declan could do was sigh
.
“Do you even remember what happened that night? Has anything come back to you?” When Declan said nothing, Will went on, pressing further, “Have you tried to remember, or have you just forgotten that night completely?”
“Of course I didn’t forget,” Declan muttered, running a hand over his arm, where his scar sat.
“Good,” Will was relentless, his tone becoming harder, “because what if it wasn’t you in the room that night? What if it’d been Ash? What then?”
A muscle in Declan’s jaw clenched. “Don’t you think I’ve thought about that?”
“I’m transferring here, and it’s not up for debate,” Will said.
I let out a sigh. “Well, that was a tense way to end dinner.” Both guys looked at me like I was crazy. I got to my feet, moving near them. Will was just a few inches taller than Declan, and yet I still couldn’t help but feel small near each of them. To Will, I said, “If you want to transfer here, fine. We can’t stop you, but I’m more than capable of protecting Declan from whoever it is who wants to hurt him.”
It was kind of funny: I sounded a hell of a lot more confident than I should.
Will didn’t hesitate to say what he said next. “If you’re protecting him, then who’s protecting you?”
I opened my mouth, ready to say something along the lines of I don’t need protecting, I’m not a damsel in distress, I never asked for your help—or anything along those lines—but nothing came out.
I didn’t need protecting.
I wasn’t a damsel in distress.
I never asked for his help, or anyone’s, ever.
Maybe that was my problem. Maybe I wanted to fight my own battles and handle my own problems so much I was blind to the fact that letting someone else help me, having someone on my side might make it easier.
Declan’s dark gaze flicked between us, and I wondered if he saw our connection. If he didn’t, he chose not to address it. Instead he said, “What are you going to tell dad when he asks you why you’re transferring? He's tried to get you to come to Hillcrest since… forever.”
“I know, but you know Dad. All I have to say is that he was right and I never should've gone to Stanton to begin with.”
“Well,” Declan muttered, running a hand over the back of his neck, “if you’re going to transfer, I guess I can’t stop you. But you’re not being my roommate. That honor is Ash’s.”
“You mean Dad didn’t tell you?” Will paused, and both Declan and I waited with bated breath to hear what he had to say. “Next year they’re opening up admission to all female students. You might have Ash as a roommate this year, but next year? I doubt they’ll let you room with her when there are a bunch of other girls who’ll need roommates, too. Ash was only an experiment, and I guess you’ve hidden enough from Dad for him to think it’s going well.”
My stomach sank, for whatever stupid reason. I knew I probably wasn’t going to remain the only girl on campus for my entire four years here, but then again, I kind of liked it. I liked being special, I liked the fact that there were no other girls around constantly to bring their cattiness into my life. I knew not all girls were like that, but when I thought about Brooklyn and her friends…I knew a horde of girls at HU would only spell more drama for me.
“Well,” I muttered, fighting the frown that wanted to surface, “at least when there’s more girls on campus, you guys will have more to look at. Other girls to spend your weekends with.” Like Sawyer. Sawyer never let the all-male campus thing derail his goal of banging every girl in a thirty-mile radius. Declan and Will? They could be just like him; they were definitely attractive enough. Girls would flock to them like moths to the flame.
I…that thought bothered me more than I was willing to admit.
Declan’s dark brows came together, and he started, “Ash—” Will, on the other hand, was silent, staring at me with what I could only imagine as judgment.
“Don’t,” I said, waving him off. “Forget I said it. I don’t know why I said it.” These were the times when I wished I had my own room, an actual room with its own door that I could close to block out the rest of the world and my roommate, and in this case, my roommate’s brother, too. “It was stupid.” I went to sit on my bed, burying my face in my hands.
Why would I go and say something so stupid? Ugh. I wanted to smack myself.
“I think I know why,” Will’s voice entered my ears, and a presence came beside me on the bed. Will didn’t touch me, but I could still feel his closeness. “You’re used to being the only girl on campus. You think that with the addition of a bunch of others, everything will change.”
I was slow to withdraw my face from my hands, meeting his eyes.
“You think you won’t matter to Declan,” Will continued as Declan made his way over to my other side. When Declan sat down, I was once again in the middle of a brother sandwich, and I had to mentally scold myself: it was a brother sandwich which would most definitely never happen.
“That’s stupid,” Declan muttered. “A thousand girls could walk by, but none of them would make me forget about you.”
My inner nice girl swooned. I didn’t let her out often, because the nice ones never survived long in this world, but in this moment, I felt her weaken at the knees. It was a good thing I was sitting down, otherwise my legs would’ve been goo. It was also a good thing Will was here, because his presence stopped me from doing something I’d probably only regret tomorrow.
“Speaking as someone who’s going to a college with both girls and guys, I can honestly say I’ve never met a girl like you before,” Will told me, causing my head to snap in his direction. My inner nice girl, the one who wanted prince charmings and knights in shining armor, was already swooning. How much more could the poor girl handle?
I told Travis and Sawyer they’d never met a girl like me before, and I meant it. But hearing Will say it was something else entirely. Hearing him say it made the air sweep from my lungs, and my heart nearly stop. I’d believe anything Will said. He was, for all intents and purposes, my knight.
A dimpled smile grew on Will’s face when our stares met, and even though there was a foot between us, it was like we touched, tingles of electricity shooting through me, warming me up in places I shouldn’t notice, but I did. I wasn’t an innocent girl. I’d had sex, a lot more of it than my mom would ever want to know. I’d lost my innocence so long ago, I didn’t even know what the word meant anymore. I had to pull out a dictionary for it; whip out Google and search it.
“It’s true,” Will said, as if he thought I was going to fight him on it. I wasn’t. I just couldn’t believe the feelings both these brothers brought out in me. Around them, I almost felt normal. Around them, I could forget everything I never wanted to remember. “You are special, Ash. Never doubt it.”
I let out a short chuckle. “This turned into a pep talk I wasn’t expecting.”
Around me, both Declan and Will laughed. I doubted they’d be laughing if they knew how tempting it was having them sitting on my bed, with their handsome selves being so…well, handsome. A temptation I never expected, one that took every ounce of self-restraint not to give into. I mean, I doubted they’d be down for a threesome anyway, because that was borderline incest. But still. Dream fodder.
The day wound down, and unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on how you wanted to look at it—there was no hanky-panky between me or either of the brothers, or between all three of us. It was near seven o’clock when Will said he should go, and both Declan and I volunteered to walk him to his car, which he parked in one of Hillcrest’s many lots. You had to have a pass to use the lots during the week, but on the weekends and when school wasn’t in session, anyone could use them.
“You know, once I’m a student here, we can do this more often,” Will said, his hands in his pockets as we walked along the sidewalk through campus. Campus was pretty dead on the weekends; not at all like Kelsey’s college, from what it sounded like. A part of me couldn’t help but wonder w
hat it would’ve been like if I would’ve gone to a public college, been roommates with Kelsey.
Fun. It would’ve been fun, and a hell of a lot less drama-filled.
“Maybe you should get yourself your own copy of Mario Kart, so you can practice,” I teased, earning myself a light-hearted glare from Will.
“One day,” he said, “I’ll beat you.”
“Maybe you should get her some chicken nuggets before playing against her,” Declan suggested with a shrug. “She’ll be so focused on eating them, it’ll give you an advantage.”
I let out a laugh. As if I couldn’t eat and game at the same time. These guys were noobs when it came to gaming, weren’t they? They might have some experience with shooters, but other games they had no skill at. Clearly, they’d never stayed up to pull an all-nighter playing Mario while drinking Mountain Dew and munching on Cheetos, and it showed.
We turned into the parking lot, walking through the cars parked until we reached Will’s vehicle. Will and Declan said their goodbyes, and I averted my eyes, as if the goodbye was something private, something that should only be shared between them and not me. Like I was overstepping, somehow. Or maybe I felt this way because I felt conflicting feelings for them both.
I don’t know. Don’t ask me. At this point, I was clueless when it came to what I was feeling. Until Hillcrest, I’d never felt such strong feelings for more than one guy at a time before. Crushes were a dime a dozen back in high school, but what I felt for these guys? So much more than that. I wasn’t crushing on them. I liked them. I liked them a lot.
Once Declan and Will’s goodbye was done, Declan moved onto the sidewalk near the car, and I turned my gaze until I met Will’s pretty hazel stare. Unlike most people who claimed to have hazel eyes, Will really did. I could spot all three colors in his gaze—green, brown, and blue. Most of his stare was green, a beautiful jade color. Bits of brown amber flecked around his pupils, while a dark blue rim of color ran around his eyes, as if keeping the hodgepodge of colors together.
Freak (Hillcrest University #2) Page 15