Saving Sara (Alaska Blizzard Book 5)

by Kat Mizera

  Sara played with one of the puppies for a few minutes, holding it tight against her chest.

  “Is that one of ours?” Aaron’s voice behind her made her jump but she nodded.

  “Yup. Wanna hold him?” She held the puppy out and Aaron gently took him from her.

  “Wow, he’s so tiny.”

  “They’re only three weeks old. Still babies.”

  “I wish I could keep one,” he said, nuzzling the little ball of fluff. “If I didn’t travel all the time…”

  “I want to keep Mama,” she admitted. “She’s so sweet and trusting. Dr. Harjo said she’s been an absolute love to have at the house.”

  “She’s a good girl.” He bent down to scratch behind her ears.

  “Auntie Sara, are these the puppies?” Niko came skidding around the corner and Sara laughed.

  “Yes. You want to hold one?”

  “Yes!” His blue eyes sparkled with excitement.

  “Okay, why don’t you sit down here, and I’ll put one in your lap. You have to be really careful because they’re still little and if you dropped one, he could get badly hurt.”

  Niko’s eyes rounded. “I would never drop him.”

  “Okay, good.” She reached for one of the puppies and put him in Niko’s lap.

  “He’s so soft,” he exclaimed.

  “What is it about puppies that makes us all fall in love?” Aaron asked softly.

  She smiled. “I wish I knew, but it’s pretty cool, right?”

  “Mommy, can I have a puppy?” Niko asked as Dani joined them.

  “Buddy, it’s hard for us to have pets because we’re not home that much,” Dani said, leaning down to stroke the puppy’s head.

  “But me and Auntie Sara are always home,” he protested.

  “We’ll have to talk to Daddy about it,” Dani said gently.

  Niko’s lower lip protruded slightly. “Daddy always says no.”

  Dani ruffled his hair. “He does not always say no. Let’s go find him.” She looked at Sara. “Can we take the puppy with us to show Sergei? I’ll carry him.”

  “Sure.” Sara nodded.

  “I think Sergei’s about to be ganged up on,” Aaron laughed.

  “Probably.”

  “So…are you mad at me?” he asked quietly.

  “No. Why?”

  “I don’t know, you were kind of pissy back in the lounge.”

  “Sorry. It’s been a long day and I’ve done a lot of running around the last few days.”

  “You’ve been pretty grumpy since you moved out.” He met her gaze. “How come?”

  She frowned. “Why do you think?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She rolled her eyes. “And that’s the problem.”

  “Then tell me.”

  20

  Sara’s eyes flashed with anger as she looked at him. “Tell you what? That I miss you and really enjoyed living with you? That Merlin’s been moping since we moved out too? Or what about how it drives me crazy that you won’t hook up with me, someone who really cares about you, but you’ll go find some random bimbo at a bar? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

  He cocked his head. “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?” She gave him a dirty look. “Okay, I don’t have time for this right now. I have to—”

  “Were you jealous?” he interrupted, staring down at her.

  “What?”

  “Were you jealous that I went out last night?”

  “Dude, are you actually slow or are you just playing dumb because you can?”

  “I…” He didn’t know what to say. She was pissed and jealous and had just told him she missed living with him. She’d essentially just admitted to having feelings for him and he was never going to have a better opening to admit…something. He didn’t know what, because he struggled with his emotions when it came to Sara.

  “We need a puppy.” A woman with bright red hair, a big smile and a little girl of about five holding her hand walked into the cubicle.

  “Well, we have a large selection of them for you to choose from,” Sara responded. “Do you think you want a boy or girl?”

  “I think the puppy should choose us,” the woman said. “I was hoping my daughter, April, could sit down and see what happens.”

  “Sure.” Sara guided the little girl to a spot and soon the puppies were tottering around her, sniffing and showing some interest. April thought it was great, giggling and petting them as they surrounded her, and though Aaron was enjoying the child’s happiness, he and Sara had unfinished business.

  “I’m going to go mingle,” he said in her ear. “But we have a conversation to finish.”

  “Whatever.” She turned away and he wondered what had set her off. He understood jealousy and, despite his idiotic behavior, he’d been aware of her feelings for him since the night they’d slept together. Something was different today, though, and his gut told him it was more than just him supposedly hooking up with someone last night. Ironically, he’d been bored to death and hadn’t even bought anyone a drink, much less gone home with anyone.

  He’d noticed how empty the apartment was without her and Merlin, so it made sense that she was out of sorts too, but there was something else going on. He needed to find out what it was because it was time for him to stop jerking her around. Either he needed to give them a chance as a couple or break all ties, because it was making them both crazy. He couldn’t even look at other women anymore, and that was a problem. He hadn’t been with anyone else since their night together, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone this long without sex. Six long, miserable months of celibacy, pining away for a woman who actually liked him. It was stupidity at its finest and he was done. He just needed a way to make it happen that wouldn’t be awkward. Especially since she was mad at him.

  “What did you do to Sara?” Dani came up behind him and nudged him with her shoulder.

  “What?” He turned in confusion.

  “I don’t know what you did, but you better fix it, because she must be really upset if she won’t even tell me what’s going on.”

  “I swear, I didn’t do anything,” he protested. “I’ve been trying to get her to talk to me all day so I’m kind of worried too. Something is bothering her, but I don’t think it’s me. Or, it’s not just me.”

  “I wish you’d shit or get off the pot,” she said under her breath. “She’s crazy about you, and I think you feel the same way but you’re too stubborn to admit it. If you’re not going to ask her out, then just leave her alone. Friendship isn’t cutting it anymore. Okay? Please? Would you do this for me?”

  Jesus Christ, hadn’t he just had this conversation in his own mind? What was it with the women involved with the Blizzard being able to read minds? It was fucking weird.

  “I was planning to, uh, ask her out,” he mumbled. “Like, officially. She’s been really hard to talk to tonight, though.”

  “It’s about fucking time.” Dani gave him a pointed look. “And don’t fuck it up.” She turned and walked away.

  Damn, these women were all ball-busters. Good thing he liked that in a woman.

  The fundraiser was a huge success. By the end of the night, all the puppies had been adopted even though it would be a few weeks before they could leave their mother. All the other animals Dr. Harjo had brought from various shelters had been adopted as well. On top of raising more than half of the money he would need to rebuild the clinic, he had more than a dozen new customers anxious to visit the clinic once it reopened. And Gage had written him a check for the balance of the money he needed, so repairs would hopefully start immediately.

  By the time they’d gotten the animals packed up and ready to go, gathered all the adoption papers and money they’d collected, ushered out the guests and got ready to leave, everyone was exhausted. The team had had a long day and it was after ten now, so the guys and their families disappeared pretty quickly. Sara and Dani were heading for the elevators that led down to the employee park
ing lot when Aaron reached for Sara’s hand.

  “You got a minute?” he asked her as the elevator doors opened.

  “I’m kind of tired,” she said quietly. “I need to get home.”

  “I just need a few minutes.”

  “Then you should drive her home,” Dani said, stepping around Sara and getting into the elevator. “I can drive my car home instead of riding with Sergei, and you can ride with Aaron.”

  “But—” Sara started to protest but Dani had already hit the button and the doors closed.

  “Come on.” Aaron took her hand and pulled her in the other direction. The elevator that led down to the player entrance was on the other side of the arena and it was a bit of a walk.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded. “And would you slow down? My leg hurts.”

  “Sorry.” He slowed his pace, but refused to let go when she tried to jerk her hand away.

  “Aaron.”

  “You really don’t want to hold my hand?”

  “I want to know what the hell you’re doing. Since when do you want to hold hands?”

  “Since now.” He stopped walking and pulled her close. “I know you’re mad at me, and I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, but I want to make it right.”

  “You…what?” She seemed completely flabbergasted and he reached out to push one side of her hair behind her ear.

  “I’m a guy. I’m slow and dumb when it comes to women and I think I’ve been slower and dumber than usual when it comes to you. But it’s only because I don’t want to fuck this up.”

  “Aaron, I’ve had a rough couple of days, and I’m not up to another one of our let’s-just-be-friends conversations.”

  “So let’s be more than friends,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving hers.

  To his shock and confusion, she burst into tears.

  Sara had been holding in her emotions for more than twenty-four hours, and hearing Aaron say he wanted to be more than friends turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. She’d been willing herself not to cry, but the tears came anyway. She felt like an idiot for breaking down like this, but when his arms closed around her, she was helpless to resist. Her tears came from somewhere deep, a place she rarely allowed herself to tap into, and she sobbed against his chest like she might never stop. The torrent of emotion was filled with a lifetime of insecurities that she rarely vocalized, but tonight it hit her hard.

  Aaron didn’t say anything, just held her tightly, stroking her hair and letting her cry. Finally, when she’d gotten it out of her system, she pulled free and turned away. “I’m sorry. I should—”

  “Babe, what’s going on? This can’t be because of me.”

  She shook her head, though she was too choked up to answer him.

  “Okay, wanna get out of here and go somewhere a little more private?”

  She nodded.

  “We’ll have the most privacy at my place.”

  “Y-yes. Okay.” She took a shuddery breath. “Is there a way out that no one will see me? There’s no doubt I’ve been crying and everyone will think we had a fight or something.”

  “Come on.” He took her hand again and led her through a handful of hallways she’d never been down before, eventually coming out right by a staircase. “Can you go down a couple of flights? No one uses the stairs so we shouldn’t run into anyone.”

  “Okay.”

  They got out to the parking lot and he helped her into his Jeep. She was mentally and physically exhausted, so his timing tonight couldn’t have sucked more. Seeing the vulnerability in his eyes and hearing him say what she’d been waiting for him to say for more than six months had just overwhelmed her. Now she was overwhelmed and embarrassed, which added a layer of hell to her already raw emotions. She didn’t know what to say at this point, because she still hadn’t told anyone about the latest rejection letter and admitting her failures wasn’t something she enjoyed.

  “You want to talk now or wait until we get home?” he asked gently.

  Home.

  Like it was her home too.

  Damn, he was making it hard for her to focus.

  “I don’t know.” She rested her head against the seat and stared out at the streetlights.

  “We’ll go home,” he said, apparently making the decision for her. And that was okay because she wasn’t in any condition to decide anything.

  He reached for her hand across the center console and she threaded her fingers with his. In spite of everything going on, it felt good to have him touching her. If she’d ever needed someone she cared about to touch her, it was today.

  He didn’t let go of her hand the whole way home and grabbed it again as they walked from the parking garage to the elevator and into his apartment. He led her to the couch in the living room and sank down with her beside him.

  “Tell me what’s going on,” he said. “What happened to upset you so much?”

  Without answering, she dug around in her purse and pulled out the rejection letter. She handed it to him without saying a word and waited as he unfolded it and read it. His eyes flew to hers and he wrapped his arms around her.

  “I’m so sorry, babe. I really am. You must be heartbroken. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I needed to get through tonight without embarrassing myself.”

  “Does Dani know?”

  “No one knows. I was going to have a little pity party tomorrow when everyone was at work and Niko was at school.”

  “I wish you’d come to me,” he whispered, rubbing his knuckles across her cheek.

  “I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

  “But it’ll be okay. You applied to other places and no matter what, you still have your life here. Your friends, your jobs, me…” He lifted her chin.

  She just sighed, dropping her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about. Come on, don’t shut me out. I know you’re sad, but I’m here.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m…a failure.”

  “You’re not a failure,” he whispered. “You just haven’t found the right fit yet.”

  “I’m twenty-five. I’m already way behind the eight ball.”

  “You work for a veterinarian and Dr. Harjo is rebuilding, so you’ll be back to work with him before you know it. You’ve got this, babe. I believe in you.”

  She let her head fall against his chest. “This is so the story of my life.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Because I’ve never been great at anything,” she said sadly.

  “What are you talking about? You were a champion college hockey player, you went to college on a full academic scholarship, and you—”

  “You don’t understand,” she interrupted. “I’m good at stuff, but I’ve never been great at anything. Like hockey. Yeah, I played on a championship college team, but I wasn’t good enough for the Olympic team. Not like Dani.”

  “There aren’t many female hockey players like Dani. She could be playing on the Blizzard. You can’t use her as an example—she’s a one-in-a-million player.”

  “I know, but it’s not just about hockey, it’s about everything. She has all that talent and the guy of her dreams and a job doing something no other woman has ever done at this level…and she’s gorgeous. On top of all of that, she’s my best friend and she’s a wonderful human being. I hate her!” She sniffled softly. “I don’t mean that, but the thing is, I’m so damn mediocre. I went to college on a scholarship and majored in business because I had no idea what I wanted to do. Toward the end of junior year, I realized I had a thing for veterinary medicine, but at that point, changing majors would’ve been a nightmare. So I took extra classes and minored in biology. Then I couldn’t figure out what to do next so I started my master’s—in fucking business. Because I wasn’t sure I could get into veterinary school. So I changed course and got into a terrible relationship. Then I finally worked up the courage to apply to veterinary sch
ool and, oh look, no surprise here—didn’t get accepted. And this is the second year in a row. Which makes me a fucking nanny. In Alaska.”

  “Wow, self-deprecating much?” Aaron held her tightly, his hands making gentle circles on her back, her arms, her whole body. “Babe, you’re smart, beautiful and hard-working. Granted, you’re going through a rough patch, but let’s break it down. First, you didn’t make the Olympic team, but here’s the thing: You never tried out so you don’t actually know if you would’ve made it or not. Second, you didn’t get accepted to veterinary school but you also didn’t have the right academic background because your undergraduate is in business, not premed or whatever. Third, we all have bad relationships. I mean, hello…my ex-wife is in jail for trying to kill someone she thought I was fooling around with, even though I wasn’t. My latest ex-girlfriend is my best friend’s ex-wife and she spent our entire relationship trying to talk me into getting her pregnant. And finally, so what if you’re a nanny in Alaska? Sergei and Dani couldn’t do what they do without you to help with Niko. Not just because you’re there, but because they trust you and Niko loves you. And you have a second job that’s in the field you want to go into, keeping you around animals all day and giving you hands-on experience that you can’t get anywhere else.”

  He reached out and gently trailed his fingers along her jawline. “I think you’re amazing. Beautiful and smart and resilient. You’ve taken every punch life has thrown at you and gotten up again. You’re incredible, Sara. And because of you, I want to be a better man—one that’s worthy of you.”

  21

  He hadn’t planned to say something so raw and emotional and all he could think about now was kissing her. She’d made the first move six months ago, so it was his turn, and as she looked up at him with her heart in her eyes, he bent his head and kissed her, his lips lightly brushing across hers. She responded in kind, her lips soft and firm and a dozen other sensations that made him want to devour her.

  “What made you change your mind about us?” she whispered.