Family.
That afternoon Teresa thought that was the most beautiful word in the whole world, and to think she’d wasted more than a decade trying to create something that had been waiting for her right here in Birthright.
The temperature flashing on the bank thermometer said that it was ninety-nine degrees, but when Kayla and the others walked into the funeral home, she felt like she’d gone from a hot oven right into the freezer. Chill bumps popped up on her arms as the lady greeted them.
“Hello, I’m Nadine. I’ll show you to Miss Janie’s room. She was a great lady. I remember her from my high school days when she was the school secretary. We always knew if we had a problem, we could take it to her and she’d help us if she could. You’d be her girls, right?” The woman talked as she led the way to a room off to the side.
To Kayla, it was a fancy place, with four pale-blue velvet chairs set in a semicircle in front of the casket. Miss Janie would have liked all the flowers and plants that surrounded her. She had liked puttering about with her roses, and always loved the wildflowers that sprang up in the springtime. Sunrays flowed through the window blinds, giving the room a warm feeling despite the chill from the air-conditioning vents above them. Several well-placed lights in the ceiling lit up the casket. Miss Janie wouldn’t like that. She’d rather be the person in the background, not the one under the spotlight. She had always preferred to be the one who stayed behind during a funeral and got the dinner ready to serve.
Noah slipped his arm around Teresa’s shoulders, and together they went to the end of the room, where the casket was located. That chemistry between them had gotten stronger. But Teresa would tell her all about it when she was ready.
Teresa stared down into the casket for a few minutes and then buried her face in Noah’s shoulder. He patted her on the back and led her to one of the chairs. Then he started across the room toward Kayla. “We need to tell her goodbye,” he whispered.
“I don’t know if I can,” she said.
Noah slipped an arm around her, and together they walked up to the casket. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment, and then looked at Miss Janie. All the strength she thought she had left drained from her when she realized the finality of death. In that split second she realized that her chance to tell Miss Janie everything she’d needed to say was gone. Everything would go unsaid forever now. Kayla’s knees went weak. The room began to spin, and everything went dark.
When she came to, her head was in Teresa’s lap, and Noah was fanning her with a brochure. “I’m all right,” she muttered as she tried to sit up, but their faces seemed to fade into a thick gray fog. She lay back down with a groan.
“Do we need to call the ambulance?” Teresa asked.
“No!” Kayla protested. “I’ve done this before when I haven’t eaten in a day or two. I’ll be fine when we get home and I can eat something.”
“With all that food at the house,” Teresa scolded, “why didn’t you?”
Kayla held up a hand. “I couldn’t force anything down. If I could have a glass of milk or orange juice, I’ll be okay.”
“There’s a convenience store down the street.” Noah got to his feet. “Don’t try to sit up until—”
“What’s happened?” Nadine seemed to appear out of nowhere.
“She fainted,” Noah explained.
“We have that happen from time to time,” Nadine said. “Can I get you some crackers and juice, or milk and a candy bar? We keep a small supply of snacks in the kitchen.”
“Yes, please,” Teresa answered.
Nadine hurried out of the room and came back with a basket of snacks. “I brought several things in case the rest of you would like something. There’s also bottles of juice and water if you need a little pick-me-up. This kind of event can drain your supply of emotions for sure, and some food helps the body keep going. Y’all stay as long as you want. I’ll be here until five, but I don’t mind sticking around longer since it’s Miss Janie.”
“Thank you so much,” Noah said.
“You’re very welcome. I really loved that woman,” Nadine said as she left the room and eased the door shut.
Teresa opened a package of peanut butter crackers and put one in Kayla’s mouth. Noah twisted the cap off a small bottle of milk for her and then removed the wrapper from a candy bar.
Kayla chewed and swallowed the cracker and then tried to sit up again. She still felt weak, but at least nothing around her was spinning. Teresa handed her the milk, and she drank all eight ounces of it at once. “You eat that candy bar,” she told Noah. “I’d rather finish the crackers and have another milk.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Noah passed the basket over to Teresa, who took a bottle of water, then set the basket on a chair next to the one where Noah had sat down.
“I thought I was strong,” Kayla said. “That I could march right up here and look at her, maybe cry at the idea of never seeing her again, and then comfort y’all. She’s not even the first dead person I’ve seen, but . . .” Her voice faltered as the tears began to flow.
“But it’s Miss Janie,” Noah said.
Teresa grabbed the box of tissues from a nearby chair, pulled out a couple, and dried Kayla’s tears. Then she started to cry with her, and soon Noah was wiping all their faces.
“She’d scold us for sure.” Noah’s voice sounded hoarse. “We’re not supposed to grieve, but to rejoice that she’s not in pain and that she has finished her race.”
“Tell that to my aching heart,” Kayla whispered. “I should’ve come back to see her.”
“We all have regrets about that,” Noah said. “But we also know that she didn’t hold us guilty.”
Teresa pulled a ponytail holder from the pocket of her jeans and whipped her black hair away from her face. “I know there’s bushels of food at the house, but why don’t we all go to the Dairy Queen, have a burger, and settle our emotions.”
“Is that against the rules?” Kayla asked. “If someone sees us there, will they think we don’t appreciate what everyone has already brought us?”
“We will be glad for all the food for weeks to come,” Teresa said. “But right now I could use a big, greasy burger and some french fries.”
“Me too.” Kayla got to her feet and went back to the casket for a final look. “Goodbye, Miss Janie. I love you.”
Noah dreaded the actual funeral service. The only people he really knew were Teresa, Kayla, and Sam, but several of the folks who brought food said they would see him at the graveside. Evidently, Miss Janie’s close friends went beyond the four people that she considered family.
Having her service on a bright, sunny day seemed fitting. Storms might come tomorrow, but today was gorgeous, with a few white, fluffy clouds in the blue summer sky. Noah started out of his bedroom and found Teresa sitting on the top step of the staircase. She’d dressed in a simple little black dress, with her dark hair twisted up and held in place with a wide gold clip.
“I can almost hear Miss Janie whispering words of comfort in my ears. She’s telling me not to grieve, but to get on with life,” Teresa said when he sat down beside her.
“I was thinking the same thing,” Noah agreed.
Kayla came up behind them. “We should all dive into getting our senior place ready if Sam is willing to rent us one of those houses.”
“I agree,” Teresa said. “But what about you, Noah?”
“I’ll work from this house. I’ll do pro bono when folks can’t pay me, and charge those that can a reasonable fee for legal work. Y’all are giving back to Miss Janie’s community, and so am I.” Noah draped his arm around Teresa’s shoulders and pulled her closer. He liked the way she fit so perfectly against him, the way her hair smelled, and everything else about her. When things settled down, he intended to tell her exactly how he felt about her. Sometimes, like right then, he wanted to spit out the words, but the timing simply was not right.
“That’s wonderful,” Teresa said. “Miss Janie w
ould be so proud of you.”
“And the two of you as well,” Noah whispered.
Kayla gave them both a nudge with her knee. “It’s time for us to go. Sam says we should arrive at the graveside and sit in the family chairs about ten minutes before the service begins. It’s already hot outside. Do you think it will be a long, drawn-out thing?”
Noah stood up and extended a hand to Teresa. “She wanted one song, and the preacher and each of us to say a few words, and that’s all.” He wished that he didn’t have to let go of Teresa’s hand, but the staircase wasn’t wide enough for two people to go side by side.
Noah helped Teresa into the front passenger seat and then opened the back door of his truck for Kayla. Driving from Birthright to Sulphur Springs took only ten minutes, even if he drove the speed limit. That morning, it seemed like they’d barely cleared the driveway of Miss Janie’s house, and then poof, the time had passed and he was parking beside the tent that had been set up in the cemetery.
“I’m not ready for this,” Teresa whispered.
“None of us are, but it has to be done,” Noah assured her with a hand on her knee.
“Good Lord!” Kayla opened the truck door. “There must be a hundred people here.”
“Or more,” Teresa whispered. “Who’s that man hurrying over this way?”
“Will Barton,” Kayla answered. “Bless his heart.”
“He did change a lot,” Teresa said.
“I’m so sorry about Miss Janie,” Will said as soon as he reached Kayla. “Here. Let me help you. If there’s anything at all that I can do, please tell me. We can talk more at the church dinner.” He offered her his arm and led her to the chairs set up in a row under the tent in front of the casket.
“And what church dinner?” Noah asked as he and Teresa made their way across the lawn not far behind Sam, Will, and Kayla.
“I didn’t know there was going to be a dinner,” she whispered.
Noah waited until the three ladies were seated; then he and Sam took the last two chairs on either end of the row. That still put him beside Teresa, so he reached over and laced his fingers in hers. He hoped that she felt the same support from having someone to hold her hand as he did.
For the trip to the cemetery to have gone by so fast, the next few minutes seemed to take forever. The preacher finally came out of the crowd and removed a piece of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it, laid it on the lectern by the head of the casket, and leaned in close to the microphone. “Thank all y’all for coming today. I’m Vernon Davidson, the pastor of the church that Miss Janie attended. She wasn’t one to be the center of attention, but what she got done behind the scenes in her community and the church did not go unnoticed. She was a great lady who started to work in the Sulphur Springs High School cafeteria when she graduated from high school. In a few years she moved up to be the high school secretary and saw more than forty classes graduate before she retired. She even saw third-generation kids come through the school during those years. She wouldn’t like for me to be telling much, but I want y’all to understand what an impact she had on so many lives. She left me this paper to read and told me explicitly that this was all I was to say, so don’t tattle on me.”
He cleared his throat and went on. “To my family and friends, don’t weep for me. I’m going to a better place. To my girls, I love you, and I want you to be happy. To Sam, I couldn’t have ever asked for better neighbors. To Noah, you’ve been like a son to me, and I love you more than you’ll ever know. That is all. Now go home, enjoy life, and when you think of me, I hope it will be a happy memory that puts a smile on your face.” The preacher removed a white handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his eyes. “It’s signed Sarah Jane Jackson, but we all knew her as Miss Janie. I understand that she asked each of you kids to have a few words.” He stepped away from the microphone.
Teresa had dealt with death in her job more than the other two, so they’d planned on her going first. Noah missed her touch when she let go of his hand as she stood. She took a few steps and leaned into the microphone. “Miss Janie had her struggles and faced a lot of demons in her life, like all of us have done. Today, as we put her to rest, I can hear her sweet voice singing with the angels. I want to live the rest of my life so that someday I can sing with her. Thank you all for attending the service today. Seeing so many folks would have made her happy.”
Her hand was shaking as she sat down and slipped her hand back into Noah’s. They hadn’t discussed the order beyond who would go first, but Kayla stood up next. She reached out her hand for Will, and he joined her, standing firm beside her with his hand in hers as she spoke into the microphone. “I’m Kayla Green, but in my heart I’m Kayla Jackson and Miss Janie is my real mama. I can never thank her enough, but I intend to do my best to make her proud of the decision she made to give me a home and teach me how to love unconditionally.”
When Kayla sat down, Noah let go of Teresa’s hand and made his way to the lectern. “There is sadness in our hearts today, but happiness right along with it. We’re all three very glad for the time we’ve had with Miss Janie, but most of all we appreciate the impact that she’s had on our lives. We wouldn’t be who we are or where we are without her, and we love her for giving so much of herself to make us the grown-ups that we are.”
He sat back down and draped his arm over Teresa’s shoulders. “That was tough,” he whispered.
“Yes, it was,” Kayla said from Teresa’s other side. “Thank goodness for you and Will, or we’d have never made it. My hands are still trembling.”
“Mine, too,” Teresa admitted.
The preacher nodded toward someone behind the casket, and the first notes of piano music floated out across the cemetery. Sarah McLachlan’s clear voice sang “Angel.” Many of the people wouldn’t understand why on earth the family had chosen that song rather than something more religious, but it’s what Miss Janie had asked for, and Noah was honoring her last wishes.
Tears streamed down Teresa’s face, and then Kayla followed suit. Noah was glad that the funeral home folks had thought to set a box of tissues beside his chair. “This was her choice of songs,” he whispered.
“I don’t know if she chose it for herself or for us girls. She knew all the reasons why we never felt good enough, like the song says,” Teresa whispered.
“Even when she was dying, she left this for us. We were in the arms of an angel these few weeks for sure,” Kayla whispered as the song was coming to an end. “In all the madness and the sadness, she was our angel.”
“Not was,” Noah said. “She is our angel.”
“And she’ll be watching over all of us forever,” Teresa agreed.
When the song ended, the preacher focused on the family instead of the crowd behind them. “Miss Janie wouldn’t want a fuss, but she’s not here to argue with us. There’s a dinner prepared in the fellowship hall of the church for any who want to join us and visit about Miss Janie and what she meant to us.”
The funeral director came forward, moved the floral piece to the side, and then opened the casket. Sarah McLachlan’s song played again as the folks walked past. Some just glanced at Miss Janie. Others said an audible goodbye to their old friend.
The last person walked past the casket as the final words of the song ended.
“You take all the time you need.” The preacher came around and shook hands, starting with Sam. When he reached Noah, he said, “If you kids are going to make a permanent residence in Birthright, we’d love to have you in our church.”
“Thank you,” Noah said. “You might see us there next Sunday, but right now, I guess we’d better have some direction on how to get there for the dinner.”
“I know how to get there,” Teresa said.
“We went there with her every Sunday when we lived with her,” Kayla offered. “It’s only a few blocks from here.”
“Good.” Vernon mopped sweat from his brow with his handkerchief and then combed his thick gray hair back with his fi
ngertips. “We’ll see you there in a few minutes, then. I’m going to go on and get out of this heat, but don’t y’all hurry a bit.”
The preacher left, and the five of them walked to the casket together. With their arms around each other’s shoulders, they stood there staring down at the remains of their loved one. Noah couldn’t wish her back, not with her health and mind in such a mess, but he wondered how or if he would ever be able to fill the empty feeling in his heart. Her death left him as the last living Jackson and with the responsibility of carrying on the family name.
Teresa was glad that Noah kept her hand in his on the way back to the truck. His touch filled part of the emptiness in her very soul.
Will had asked Kayla if she would ride back to the church with him, and she had said yes, so Teresa and Noah were alone in the truck. She fastened her seat belt and looked over at Noah. Their eyes locked, and they didn’t even need words to say what they felt in that moment, but it passed quickly.
He started the engine and drove slowly out of the cemetery. “Like I said earlier, I’m going to run my practice right out of the house, so I’ll either be there or in court. I’ll be meeting with clients, sometimes unsavory ones, right there. Is that going to be a problem for you and Kayla?”
Teresa knew that he had to have something to occupy his mind to keep from thinking about Miss Janie, because hers was doing the same thing. She gave his questions some thought and then said, “You should know by now that Kayla and I have seen lots of what you call unsavory characters. Maybe they’d like some cookies and coffee while you visit with them. You never know what a small act of kindness will do for a person who’s down and out. Miss Janie did that for me, so maybe I can pay it forward a little bit at home.”
“Thank you. That makes me happy.” Noah parked his vehicle behind Sam’s.
“The thanks go to you for finding me and Kayla,” Teresa told him.
“I’d say that they go to Miss Janie.” He got out of the truck, rounded the front end, and opened the door for her. “I didn’t know about this dinner. I would have told y’all if I had.”
Miss Janie’s Girls Page 21