Tempted By Fae

by Midnight Coven

  Once we reached my house, Boone followed me over the doorstep, looking around appreciatively until we entered the living room and he saw the biscuit crumbs all over the sofa and the wrapper on the floor. “Eek, I’ve never had a cleaner round before.” I picked the packet up off the floor and then while he wasn’t looking, I swept the crumbs onto the carpet.

  “Would you like a coffee?”

  “Yes please. Milky with no sugar, thank you.” He gestured to my pile of computer games. “Mind if I take a look?”

  “Not at all. I’ll just be a moment.” I excused myself to go into the kitchen where I filled the kettle and switched it on.

  I needed Dutch courage. Getting out a pint pot, I added a third of a pint of vodka, added coke, and drank huge mouthfuls of it. Then I watered down my own coffee and took a little taste of that, so he’d not be able to smell all the alcohol.

  When I got back into the living room, Boone was playing a car chasing game. “You don’t mind, do you? I just love them, they’re my absolute favourite.”

  “Not at all.” I said, even though inside I was yelling, ‘Take me to bed, big boy’.

  And that’s how I found myself spending my evening. Playing computer games, while nipping into the kitchen for another sip of the vodka I’d put in the fridge. The next thing I knew, I’d woken up on the sofa, the clock said seven am, there was no sign of Boone, and everything was clean and tidy.

  Well, I’ll be damned. I had a chemical imbalance that made me clean while drunk. I’d need to test whether it was solely the work of vodka and if it needed the coke as a side next.

  Walking into the kitchen once more I found the milk bottle I’d left out empty and another note saying ‘thank you’ in what I now knew must be my drunk writing. I’d have a giggle with Boone the next time I saw him about the fact I only cleaned when drunk. That’s if he wanted to see me again. He’d been good company, even if there was something about him that just wasn’t quite right. I’d ask Shelley to set me up on another date with him and see how it went.

  Chapter Seven

  Boone

  My future wife had an alcohol problem. I had to ask myself if I could see past this in order to save my dell. We’d been out on three dates now, and as we sat in the bar, this time she was having mojitos.

  “You’re enjoying those, aren’t you? That’s your third in an hour.” I said, starting to feel a tad frustrated as to why she needed to be drunk in my company.

  “Ahhh. I’m testing a theory.” She said, tapping the side of her nose. “I will tell you about it, but it’s still in the early stages. You’ll like it though because it’s connected to cleaning.”

  Now I was even more confused. But other than her drinking, I did really like her, and time was running out for me to find a potential faerie queen, so I figured it was time to show her who I really was.

  “Would you like to come back to mine tonight instead?”

  “Sorry, I can’t. I need to be at mine for the experiment.”

  I sat back, my shoulders slumping. “Oh, well maybe I could just show you where I live and then I can make sure you get home safe…” where you can pass out drunk again.

  “Yeah, why not? I’d like to see where you live, Theo James.” She slurred. “I’m just going to get another drink.”

  “My name’s B—”

  She was gone. Maybe she wasn’t the one for me after all? Perhaps this time the Seer had been wrong?

  After she’d finished her fourth cocktail and was swaying while walking, I told her about the twenty-minute walk to my house. “On the edge of the woods? Are you sure you’re not taking me to have some Lady Chatterley type sex up against a tree?” She giggled.

  Ordinarily a female making such a suggestive comment would have had my dick hard, but I was too stressed about what was going to happen when she found out I was a Fae. For now, I would keep my glamour, though I’d have to be my normal height, and as a guest of the dell, Zara would shrink down as soon as she entered our enchanted woodland.

  As we got to the edge of the woods, I took a deep breath. “So, I never took a female from Withernsea home before. I’ve only ever dated within the dell.”

  She looked at me and swayed again. “’kay. Hey, I’m not meeting your family, am I?” Her eyes widened.

  I laughed. “No, they don’t live around here. You might see some of my friends though.”

  She put her arm through mine. “Let’s go. I’m cold. I hope your place is warm.”

  I liked the feel of her arm through mine. The warmth from her body heat seeping into me. There was definitely a connection between us. Unfortunately, there was also her alcohol-infused breath. I thought I might get drunk from the fumes alone.

  I hesitated some more. “So, I guess this is where I need to tell you something.”

  She let go of my arm and backed away. “Are you going to murder me?”

  I shook my head, “Err, no.”

  “Are you unable to have sex?”

  “No.”

  She shrugged. “Then chat away. There’s nothing you can say that’ll put me off. I like you, Boone James.”

  At least she’d got part of my name right this time.

  “I’m a male faerie.” I told her.

  She went down on her knees and wailed. “You’re gay? Noooooooooo.”

  Walking over to her, I grasped her hand and pulled her to her feet. “No, I’m not gay. I’m a Brownie. A male faerie. You know, the type that has wings, flies, and lives in a small house within a tree.”

  She nodded. “Okay, I think I’m having a reaction to the mojitos, but this is better than you being gay, from my point of view that is. It’s perfectly fine for you to be gay if I wasn’t interested, but I am and so I most definitely don’t want you to be. So you live in a tree? Where is it?”

  “It’s just through here. I need to warn you though… as soon as we step over these small stones you will also become a tiny human.”

  “Got it. Tiny human. Let’s go, show me the tree house. I always wanted one as a kid, but my parents said a firm no. I was chunky and they didn’t want an earthquake when I fell out my dad said. Cos I was clumsy too. Clumshy and shunky. Because I like biscuits. Like I would marry a biscuit if it was possible. Probably a jammy dodger.”

  We walked through and the enchantment kicked in. Zara blinked around fourteen times while nodding her head like she was trying to dislodge what she was seeing. “Whoooaaaaa. I never took drugs. Is this what it’s like? Did you slip something in my drink?”

  “No. I told you, I’m Fae. Now let me show you around while you sober up. I’ll try and get you some coffee. Listen though and this is very important. Do not eat anything here. Not yet. Because if you eat faerie food you’ll be stuck here, and I want you to make that choice voluntarily.”

  Her mouth opened wide. “Ohhh noooo. I’ve had fairy cakes. My mum used to make them, so I’ve fucked it.” She stopped and listened, cupping her right ear. “Can I hear music? Let’s dance.”

  “No!” I shouted, a little too loudly. Our music could be hypnotic to humans. I had to tread carefully while Zara was here. We approached my tree. “This is where I live.” I nodded my head towards the little green door that you wouldn’t notice unless you were Fae.

  Zara followed me inside, up the winding staircase and into my living room. “This is ammmaaazziing.” She exclaimed, looking at all the hand-carved furniture. “Better than my childhood doll’s house by heaps.”

  “Let me get you that coffee.” I said. “Go have a look around the place if you like.”

  I found her in my bedroom, asleep on the bed. I wanted to say she looked beautiful, her long blonde hair fanned out on the pillow; but in actual fact she’d obviously face planted, and loud snores came from her. Her hair wasn’t fanned, more a tangled heap, a bit like her.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I sighed. “What am I going to do with you, sleeping beauty?”

  After an hour had passed, I gently woke her as she would have to le
ave soon. Visitations couldn’t be long in our dell, not unless the person intended to stay. A groggy Zara turned around, looked at me through one opened eye and squinted. “Oh, we’re in your house. You’ll never guess what? I dreamed we were fairies and all tiny.” She laughed. “Oh, shit. I slept here. Did I clean up, Boone?”

  My brow furrowed. She thought we were normal sized with everything being in proportion to her tiny body. “Erm, no, you just slept. I mean, why would you clean? Cleaning’s not your thing, right?”

  “Yes, usually, but I’ve been experimenting because the other night, well two different nights, when I’ve had a lot of vodka and coke, I’ve found the house clean the next day, and I’ve even written myself a note saying ‘thank you’!” She rubbed at her forehead. “So it looks like it is just that drink, because mojitos didn’t work.”

  I exhaled a deep sigh. “So that’s why you’ve been drinking so much? I thought you had an alcohol problem. I was going to talk to you about getting help.”

  Watching her face, I saw when she realised what she must have been like. “Shit. Was it really obvious I’d had a drink?”

  “Yeah, especially when you did Karaoke last night in the bar, despite there being no microphone and no Karaoke night. And then I had to fake our engagement after you chose Bruno Mars ‘Marry You’.”

  Her face paled. “Oh my god, how embarrassing. I am so sorry.”

  I winked. “I’m just messing with you.”

  “Oooh.” She threw a pillow at me. “Right, well, I guess there’s no rush for me to go back to my own house now is there? Shall I stay the night?”

  There was nothing I would have liked more, but I had no intention of sleeping with Zara until she could meet the true me.

  “Call me old-fashioned, but when that happens, I want it to be perfect. Not my girlfriend having a bad head from too much alcohol. Let me show you around and then I’ll take you home.”

  I made her a fresh coffee and then after she freshened up in the bathroom, we made our way downstairs. Opening the door, I stepped outside and she followed me.

  Then as she took in her surroundings and gazed at herself, the dell, back to me, back to the dell, she whispered.

  “I’m still drunk, aren’t I? This is the effects of the alcohol, right? I really need to quit and go back to leading a slovenly life.”

  I shook my head. “You’re not drunk. This is my home. I’m a male faerie. A Brownie. Also…” I swallowed and took a deep inhale, “this is the real me.” I shimmered out of my glamour and revealed my true self.

  And Zara passed clean out.

  Chapter Eight

  Zara

  Waking up, it took a few moments for crazy memories of last night to come back and flash through my mind. I shot up in bed, looking around, and realised that I wasn’t in a tree house with Theo James Boone, who then became a different Boone, but I was in my own home. Also, my clothes were on the floor, so all was perfectly normal.

  Take me to a psychiatrist because I was actually disappointed. That tree house home had been amazing, and I’d liked being a small human. I even preferred different Boone to Theo James Boone. Looked like I was probably going to have to end things with the Theo James Boone. There’s a dumping you couldn’t have foreseen, ‘Sorry I don’t want to continue seeing you because although you seem nice you are too perfect and I prefer Dream You who I made up after one too many cocktails’.

  After going downstairs and making myself a cuppa, I returned upstairs, back under my warm duvet and let my mind wander back to my amazing dream. It was a cruel mind that dreamed up a life and a love better than the one you really had. Every time I thought of the dell, I felt a strange comfort, like that was where I belonged. I was clearly having some kind of a breakdown, probably brought on by several drunken evenings.

  I gasped. What the hell had Boone seen? He must have helped me home. Had I been rambling about faeries to him and tree houses? I’d heard the word Brownies in the dating agency and made that into a male faerie. What an idiot.

  Grabbing my phone, I randomly typed Brownie into Google just on the off chance it really meant a male faerie.

  Shit. The. Bed.

  There was a faerie called a Brownie.

  Oh. My. Fucking. God.

  It attached itself to a home and cleaned it, taking food stuffs as a reward.

  My mind flashed with a scrawly written ‘thank you’.

  Boone?

  I placed my phone at the side of me on the bed and felt a bit sick as my heart thudded in my chest because either I was completely and utter certifiably crazy, or Boone was a male faerie.

  Can’t really just phone someone up and ask them that, can you? It looked like I was asking Boone to come for a home cooked meal tonight and setting up a trap. Whether tomorrow found me in love or in a psych ward who could know?

  In the meantime, for the sheer hell of it, I carried on Googling about the Fae.

  I felt a bit cruel and guilty as I spent the day leaving dirty pots around, and wearing clothes, spilling down them and dropping them on the floor. I threw my shoes around the hallway and left tea stains and cup marks on the surfaces. How much of a slob I’d been hit me for six when I realised how much work Boone must have done to clean up. When I came to the conclusion that it was more realistic for a male faerie to have cleaned up than a drunk me I burst out laughing.

  As the doorbell rang, I had one glass of vodka to make me smell of it and then I answered the door, hoping that my act of being drunk resembled the real one.

  “Hey, Boone. Come on in.”

  I saw his face drop with disappointment, before a mask came over. A mask wearing a smile.

  “Hi, Zara. You okay?”

  I fake swayed a little. “I’m amazing. Come in, come in. I’m sending for pizza because I can’t be arsed with cooking after all. I’ve set up lots of computer games for us to play all night because I know you enjoy it just as much as I do.”

  “Sure, sounds good.” Yeah, his cadence said otherwise, flat and monotonous. This poor guy, whether he was human or not deserved better than he’d been getting.

  I watched him as he looked at the state of the house. Going to the sofa, I swept the crap I’d left on it off onto the floor. “Sorry for the mess.”

  He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve more on my mind than a few crumbs. Crumbs can be cleaned up.”

  Was that a heavy stone sitting in my stomach? I sat down next to him. “What’s up, Boone? What’s wrong?”

  “There’s just a little trouble where I live, that’s all?”

  “Like gangs on the streets or something?”

  He shook his head. “No, nothing like that. It’s Council stuff. Politics about who’s in charge. I thought I might be able to be a part of things, but it’s not looking likely now. I’ll be fine. Ignore me. Right, what game are we playing?”

  It was so difficult not to probe further, but I knew drunk me probably wouldn’t have understood a word he said, so I sent for pizza, and played video games with him until I decided it was time for me to fake pass out on the couch.

  As I laid there, I heard his heavy sigh. “Oh, Zara. If only you’d believed.” He said. He picked me up as if I weighed nothing at all and carried me upstairs, placing me softly on the bed. “Sweet dreams,” he murmured as he laid a soft kiss to my forehead.

  He returned downstairs and that was when I heard him begin to tidy up.

  He could just be tidying because he’s a nice guy. I told myself.

  He’s not a male faerie, don’t be so fucking ridiculous.

  I can’t believe you’ve entertained the thought he could be a faerie. You idiot. It’s a warning that it’s time to stop being a sloth and start living your life, before you end up completely batshit crazy, walking the streets in your pyjamas and bringing home stray cats.

  I left it for ten minutes and then when I heard movement in the kitchen, I carefully snuck downstairs. Now this was a mean feat for a clumsy klutz, but I managed it with not even
one squeak of a floorboard. I was so embracing my new elegant life.

  Well, until I got to the kitchen door where I tripped over my own foot and fell through the doorway, scaring Boone. The real Boone. He shimmered and became Theo James Boone again, before rushing over to help me up.

  “What are you doing up? Have you hurt yourself? You need to stop drinking.”

  I sat on the floor and looked up at him. “I’m not drunk. Never was. Just wanted to see if I’d been hallucinating or if you really were a male faerie.”

  He froze in place, the shimmer flickering like a light bulb with faulty wiring.

  “You’re… not drunk. You tricked me?”

  “Yup.”

  He burst out laughing. “Are you sure you’re not Fae yourself? We’re the bosses of trickery and yet you fooled me.”

  “You want to let the glamour drop?”

  He hesitated.

  “I prefer the real you, Boone.”

  “Y- you do? But I saw your application form. You like Theo James.”

  “Yeah, well actually, my tastes are a little more rough and ready I’ve realised. A bit more Captain Jack Sparrow. Rather, like you look.”

  He dropped the glamour and there he was. Human sized still but now his eyes were more 70% dark chocolate, his skin earthier, and he had a straggly beard, and shoulder length dark hair. Between my thighs pooled with desire.

  “How come you’re not small?” I said.

  A wicked smile bestowed his features, his eyes flickering with want. “We’re only small in our own dell, or on other faerie land. So right now, I’m human-sized.

  “Hmmm. Does that go for all of you?”

  “Why don’t you find out?”

  I didn’t need another invitation. Nor, right now did I want to take in the fact I was dating a male faerie. If I was insane, I wanted to be fucked senseless, get any remaining brain cells well out of the building.