Chapter 9 – Laurie
Laurie Winterbourne hated the colour pink. She hated that her mum had died in September, so pretty much every year, on the anniversary, Laurie had to wade through all the pink flowers intended for happy grandmother’s celebrating Grandparents’ Day to find something half decent to lie on her mum’s grave. She hated that her mum would never become a grandmother. More than anything though Laurie hated that her mum was dead.
Sarah Winterbourne had died when her only child was twelve years old. Lacking confidence in her new ‘big’ school, Laurie had never really spoken to anyone about how she was feeling. Then as a hormonal teenager, rebelling against every rule her dad attempted to instil, she had never really spoken to anyone about how she was feeling. In the fourteen years since her mum had passed away, Laurie had never really spoken to anyone about how she was feeling. The only day that this was any different was on the anniversary of her mother’s death. Then, and only on that day, would she talk. Talk more openly to her mum than she ever imagined she would have had she still been alive.
Spotting some white lilies, finally something classy and not pink, Laurie picked up the bouquet and took it to the counter.
“A lovely choice dear, would you like some chocolates for only two pounds? I’m sure your grandmother would enjoy eating these whilst waiting for those lovely flowers to fully open.” the sales assistant asked with a toothy grin. ‘Rachel’ it read on her nametag.
Sighing, Laurie decided not to be rude. “No thank-you. And they’re for my mum, although I don’t think my mum would have much use for chocolates.” She tried to lift her mouth into a smile, but struggled.
“Aah,” Rachel nodded knowingly. “Dieting is she?”
“Something like that,” Laurie whispered, then laughed a little. “Yes, I suppose she has lost a lot of weight in the last few years.”
“Good for her, you tell her congratulations from me, it’s not easy. I know myself. I find it hard not to give into temptations; ‘specially, with all these chocolates around me. I’m sure there must be an easier way.”
“My mum found getting a lot of rest helped her.” Laurie felt rude for teasing a woman only trying to be friendly. She knew that on any other day she wouldn’t be quite so mean spirited, but it wasn’t any other day.
As the front door shut behind her, Laurie stopped to take a breath of fresh air, checked her phone for messages and put the paper bag with the gift tag and ribbon into her handbag. While waiting to cross the road towards the cemetery, she spotted a box sitting between some flowerpots and a teddy bear holding a large pink balloon. Looking around she couldn’t see anyone to ask, so she picked it up. It had an address in France written on it. Through the window, Laurie could see a queue for the till; not feeling up to a bit of public speaking she decided to do the friendly thing and take the parcel to the post office. Being a Saturday the post office closed early, but there’d be enough time to drop it in on her way home. Her mum had loved France, Laurie remembered a ‘girl’s only’ trip to Paris they’d had when she was about ten years old. They’d been for a long weekend; the Eiffel tower, coffee in a little café, pastries for breakfast and then two fun-filled days at Disneyland, they’d done it all!
As she meandered towards the end of the road, Laurie was laughing to herself as she remembered how scared they had been on the rollercoaster. Her mum had said they could only go to Disneyland if they went on all the rides – especially the ones that scared them. They’d both been so traumatised by Space Mountain her mum had treated them to crepes from the stand nearby when they got off. She then made Laurie go on with her again to try and prove that you should feel your fear and go ahead and do what you’re scared of anyway. It had worked whilst they were at Disneyland, they did go on every ride, and they finished the second day with a fifth turn on Space Mountain. That was the one ride picture they’d bought; wanting to see it again, Laurie decided she would try and look through the boxes of photo’s her dad had hidden away in the attic. He’d be at the cemetery himself this afternoon, so that might be a good time to look.
Going through the gate into the cemetery was always the hardest part of this day. It felt like only yesterday she’d followed her mum’s coffin. The dress her dad had been stiff, every time she breathed out it tugged really tight around her waist. Her toes curled in as she remembered the black socks he’d bought for her that had been at least two sizes too small. She’d shouted at him on that morning because she’d wanted her hair in a plait, but couldn’t do it herself. She’d shown him on a doll, and he’d done his best at copying, but thinking back to that day made Laurie smile. He’d gotten a bit better at buying clothes for her as she’d got older, but only a little. Between them though, they’d managed.
Arriving at her mum’s headstone she looked down, closed her eyes and tried to empty her mind. Standing still like that for a couple of minutes she was only moved from her reverie by the sound of a mum shouting at her children to stop running and show some respect. Laurie smiled at the kind intentions of the distraction. She placed the flowers on the ground in front of her and the parcel in front of the tree right next to her mum’s grave.
Remembering the first time she’d come to her mum’s graveside on her own, she began humming the song that had stuck in her memory from the funeral, as she had done every year since.
With a tear falling, she murmured the words, “Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye, cheerio, here I go, on my way…”
After she’d finished the song, she sat down. “Mum, I want you to be the first to know. You know how last year I told you I was actually going to apply for that nursing course. I did. And I was interviewed, and I got on. I’m going to be a nurse. I spoke about you at the interview. D’you remember how you’d said I was as good as any nurse you’d met? I said about that, I told them how I’d known then that I’d wanted to be a nurse. They asked why I’d waited so long; I told them all about being scared, and then told them about you. You would have told me I was being daft. So I told them I was applying now, because I didn’t want to be daft anymore. Which felt a bit daft to be honest; but like you always said- sometimes you have to be daft in a good way. I’m going to tell Dad this afternoon. I’m also going to tell him I know all about him and Jane, and that I’m happy for them. That’s the other news. I’m sure Dad’s waiting to tell you – he’d want you to know first so I’m not going to say too much, just that you’d like her. She’s good for Dad, and she’s nice.”
Laurie sat in silent thought for a while, then with a smile she began humming to herself as she walked out of the cemetery and headed back to the florist. Her mum had given her an idea.
Picking up a small bunch of pink flowers, she placed them on the counter.
“Oh hello again me dear, back so soon?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah, I’d like these for my dad’s partner. And I’ll take some of those chocolates as well, please.”
***
The Parcel Page 9