by Abbi Cook
“Nope. If I was being truthful, I would have told you back then that I loved you. The only thing different is now you know. But I guess there are other things that have changed.”
I knew it!
My eyes fly open to see him smiling at me. Confused, I shake my head as tears burn the back of my eyes. “Like what? I had a feeling there was something wrong, but you just said I could tell you. Well, you need to tell me.”
Kane leans in and kisses me softly, making my heart flutter at the feel of his lips on mine. “Back there at Duke’s, I felt like I could fall in love with you because I didn’t have to be me there. I got to be someone else, and King could fall in love with the beautiful girl he held captive. I never believed I could feel that way about someone and be happy as Kane living here and being the person I am. That’s all changed now.”
“Why?”
“Because the moment I saw Stills holding that gun to your head, I felt like my entire world was being threatened. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”
“But why does that mean you can be with me now?”
He hangs his head and says nothing for a long time, and when he finally answers my question, my heart tightens. “The first time I killed a man it wasn’t a man at all. It was my brother.”
“Your brother?”
Nodding, he continues, “He came at Ryker with a knife to kill him.”
“Why?”
“After my mother left when I was ten, my father, my brother, and I ended up homeless. I was fifteen and living on the streets. My brother was nearly eighteen and lost to drugs, along with my father, but I was still trying to go to school. I was barely hanging on, but I had one friend. Ryker. My brother and father knew he was from money, so they planned to kill him and take whatever he had on him. I couldn’t let them do that. He was my only lifeline to anything but living on the streets.”
“Is that why you’re so loyal to him?” I ask as I weave my fingers through his to hold his hand.
“Yeah. We were just kids, but he was more like my brother than my own brother. Ryker and this house showed me that I didn’t have to stay where I was. I pledged my loyalty to him that night, but I also swore to myself that I wouldn’t let anyone else get close to me ever again after what I did to my brother.”
“You were protecting your friend. How was that bad?”
Kane winces like he’s in pain. “In my head, I equated love with that. I loved my brother and he knew how much it meant to me that I had a friend in Ryker. Love couldn’t be trusted. I didn’t see what he and my father planned to do until the last second because I couldn’t believe my family would ever do that to me.”
“So you decided to be alone instead of risking loving anyone ever again,” I say sadly, completing his story for him.
“The life I lead doesn’t allow for love. At least, I never thought it did.”
“But you love Ryker. You were willing to risk your life and go undercover at Duke’s for him.”
“That’s different,” he says with a shrug. “He’s a blood brother. When no one else was there for me when I was on the streets, he was. It was Ryker who gave me a place to live and a focus for my life. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him. I’m not exactly someone who did well with homelessness.”
“That’s what love is, though. It’s exactly the idea that someone who loves you is there when no one else is.”
“Well, I didn’t think that could ever happen to me.”
“Love can happen for anyone,” I say softly before bringing his hand to my lips in a kiss.
He pulls me onto his lap, my legs straddling his hips. Looking up at me, he smiles in that way that is nothing less than sexy and takes my face in his strong hands. “That you believe that about me is one of the reasons I love you, Sophie. You saw something in me when you shouldn’t have. You didn’t know I was trying to protect you and would have given my life for you then. Still, you saw what I didn’t know existed in me.”
“I believe in you just like I believe in love, Kane.”
His expression grows dark as I finish saying what I truly feel. Before I can ask him what’s wrong, he sighs and winces.
“You’re young, Sophie. You have your future in front of you. You know what I am and what my life entails. I won’t blame you if you decide in a couple days after you’ve had a chance to think about it that this isn’t what you want.”
As serious as he sounds, I can’t help but laugh. “What is it about this house? I swear it makes the men here old before their time. You act like nine years difference between us is ninety. You’re thirty, for God’s sake. I’m not that little girl you liked to call me back at that place.”
“Fine, but that doesn’t change what I am.”
“You’re no different than most of my family, Kane.”
He averts his gaze to the side of the room. “Your father never wanted you around this. He won’t be happy.”
Truer words have never been spoken. My father has railed against the life Victor and Ryker lead all my life. That doesn’t change how I feel, though.
“All my father has ever wanted for me is to be happy. Everything else, he’ll get used to. Of course, if you break my heart, he’ll make Victor his best friend and find a way to kill you in the most painful way possible. Torture should be expected.”
For a second, Kane looks stunned by my teasing, but when I smile and giggle, he lets out a heavy sigh. “You are certainly a Varens through and through.”
I don’t know if that’s a good thing. I grew up thinking it wasn’t, but if it means that I’m strong and brave like Kane said I was, then I wear that name with pride.
Against his lips, I whisper, “What I am is crazy about you, through and through.”
He lets out a sexy moan before lifting his hips from the bed, and I feel his hard cock press against me. “And I’m crazy about you, obviously.”
“Well, at least one part of you is,” I say with a giggle.
Sliding his hand around to the back of my neck, he pulls me to him and kisses me slowly, like he wants to taste me in a way he’s never done before. When his tongue teases mine and he softly moans into my mouth, it’s as if a jolt of need shoots straight through me. I roll my hips over his cock, loving how it feels as I drag my pussy over it. His jeans and my panties only add to the feeling and my need for him.
He tightens his hand in my hair, twisting until delicious pain dances across my scalp. He’s that same man I met at that terrible place in many ways. Beautifully savage and hard. Capable of cruelty in a way I’ve never experienced before. But those same hands that can inflict pain are the same that gently cradle my face as he professes his love for me.
“Fuck, Sophie. I’m not sure we should do this tonight,” he groans as he loosens his hold on my hair.
I stare down at him in utter confusion. “Why? I thought you always wanted me whenever I was nearby. Isn’t that true anymore?”
“Baby, it’s as true now as it ever was,” he says before lifting his hips off the bed to press his cock against my pussy. “I just don’t know if I can be gentle tonight, and I think you need that after all you’ve been through. Killing makes me a little crazy, and not in a good way.”
For a moment, I stare into his dark eyes and see this isn’t some excuse. There’s a wildness in them now.
“But you didn’t kill anyone, Kane. I did.”
He nods, but the harshness in him doesn’t subside. “True, but I wanted to kill him, and that need to hurt isn’t easily turned off with me.”
“Don’t turn anything off. You would never hurt me, would you?”
“Never,” he says with a wince, as if the very idea causes him pain. “Not intentionally.”
“Then don’t back away from me now. I want all of you, even the parts you don’t think anyone should want to love.”
“It’s just that tonight I can’t seem to…”
His voice goes hoarse before he can finish his thought. I don’t care what he can’t turn off. If it’s anger,
then it can join mine. If it’s fear, then I want to feel it with him.
I kiss him hard, hoping to show him how much I want him. The good him. The bad him. All of him.
Weaving my fingers through his hair, I scratch across the back of his head until I reach his neck and press my nails into his skin. “Please don’t hold back anything from me. I trust you now like I trusted you to protect me at Duke’s. Don’t be afraid to show me that man I met then.”
Kane nips my bottom lip with his teeth and moans into my mouth. “I missed you so fucking much, Sophie.”
I know just what he means. Knowing he was in this house, so close yet so far away, made me crave his touch, the feel of his mouth on me. Like a need I couldn’t satisfy.
“Don’t hold back. Never hold back with me.”
The words barely leave my mouth before he flips me onto my back. His eyes fill with a need I know all too well as he stares down at me. He tugs my underwear down my legs and tosses them away as I wriggle out of his T-shirt that’s too big for me. Naked beneath him, I reach out to pull his shirt over his head, but it’s off before I can do the job myself.
My fingers fumble with the button on his jeans, and Kane adds his to lower the zipper. I feel my heartbeat begin to race as he pushes his pants down his legs, inch by inch revealing all of him.
I’m barely able to take a breath before he’s on top of me, his body covering mine and his cock pushing between my legs. He’s thick and hard, and I feel the coolness of his piercings against my tender skin, sending a shiver of anticipation through me.
When he kisses me, his mouth takes my need to feel him inside me, feeding off it as he forces me to take every inch of him. With a single slow thrust, he buries his cock into my body, filling me so completely it takes my breath away.
In his eyes, I see he needs this rougher, harder than that gentle beginning he’s given me. Arching my back, I press my heels into the small of his back and moan in his ear, “Fuck me. Don’t stop until all I can think about is you.”
I want to forget the feeling of a gun pressed to my head. How much I wanted to kill tonight. How terrified I felt that I might not get to see another day. God, I want to forget how much it hurt to see Kane but not touch him or have him touch me.
I want to forget everything but him.
He slides out of me and lowers his head to take a nipple into his mouth. His teeth bite down just hard enough to deliver the exact amount of pain and pleasure. Leaning back, he takes a deep breath in and shudders.
“I want to feel every part of you. To taste you on my tongue. Mark you as mine so whenever anyone looks at you, they know deep inside you want only me. Then I want to fuck you hard to show you just what I am and hope you don’t turn away.”
My hands claw at his body to bring him back to me. “Yes. All of it. Please.”
He doesn’t wait for me to finish speaking before sliding down my body to press his mouth against my pussy. The first touch of his tongue to my clit sends waves of need coursing through me, and I spread my legs as wide as I can, desperate to have him touch every tender inch of me with his lips and tongue.
Two fingers slide into me, curling up to reach a spot that sends my body into overdrive. He spreads me apart and sucks my clit hard into his mouth. When he bites down, every nerve explodes and I come hard. He rides my release like everything he’s ever needed exists in that single spot on me.
“Don’t stop…God, don’t stop…oh…this feels so good,” I moan as wave after wave of ecstasy rolls through me.
When the aftershocks finally subside, Kane moves up my body and kisses me. “Never, Sophie. You taste so fucking good I could spend the rest of my life licking your pussy.”
I reach down between us and palm his hard cock, ready to give him what he’s given me, but he narrows his eyes. “Tonight, I need something else. Roll over and get on your hands and knees.”
Behind me, he leans over my back and kisses my ear. Sliding his hand around the front of my neck, he whispers, “You are so fucking beautiful. And mine.”
With a single hard push, he fills me again, but this time there’s no gentleness to him. His fingers press against my throat, and he pumps into me, powerful and commanding as my body welcomes each thrust. He fucks hard and ruthlessly now, but in my ear, I hear him whisper words that make my need spike with each syllable.
“That’s it, little one. Take every inch of me. You feel perfect around me, baby. Feel that every time I fill you up?”
I whimper, silently praying for him to say more.
“No words? You like silent fucking?” he asks before plunging into me.
“No. Don’t stop.”
I feel him stuff his hand into my hair, and then he tugs hard, pulling my head back. “That’s a good girl. You like when I talk dirty, Sophie? Does your pretty cunt get wet with every word? Good.”
A tiny moan escapes from my throat at how fucking good this feels. I want him to make me his all over again.
“Remember when I told you I’d be thinking of you with pigtails dressed in a schoolgirl uniform?” he asks as his hand releases its hold on my neck, leaving me wishing for his touch once more.
“Yes.”
“This is exactly what I thought of then, little one. You bent over in front of me and me fucking you like this. You look so beautiful, Sophie.”
He stills inside me after that, and I turn my head to see him staring at me. “Tell me what you want, little one.”
Barely able to speak, I say with a sob, “Please don’t stop. Make me forget everything but you, Kane.”
Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the spot below my ear and exhales a warm breath against my cheek. “There’s nothing but you and me now, Sophie. You’re mine, and I’m yours.”
His hand returns to my neck, grounding me when he starts fucking me again. I feel the rage in him, but I can handle it. He needs me to take this part of him.
My muscles ache, but there’s no pain. Only pleasure. Closing my eyes, I feel my orgasm begin deep inside me, a delicious sensation that increases with every time Kane’s cock fills me and those piercings graze the most sensitive parts of me.
“That’s it, baby. I want to feel you come hard on my cock. I love when your cunt milks me. Let go, little one.”
With a gentle squeeze, Kane tightens his hold on my throat, and my body reacts instantly. Pushing back against him, I surrender with a tiny cry.
Moments later, he stills and his cock fills me one last time. With a sigh, he kisses me on the side of my cheek.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
The worry in his voice is real. I collapse to the bed beneath me and roll over to look up at him. “No. I’m strong, remember?” I say with a smile.
Lowering himself beside me, he takes me into his arms and holds me before kissing the top of my head. “I didn’t forget. I just wanted to make sure.”
I curl up against his body damp with sweat and giggle. “You don’t have to worry about me. I can handle a lot. I’m a Varens.”
He pushes my hair back off my face and tilts my head so he can look down into my eyes. He’s gorgeous and raw and everything I want.
“My beautiful, strong Sophie.”
There, in his arms safe and sound, is the only place I ever want to be. I know what he is and what he’s done, and I love him. I can handle the darkness that lurks inside him.
All my life, I’ve heard how wrong men like Kane are. I don’t know if that’s right, but nestled in his embrace as he whispers how much he loves me doesn’t seem wrong.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kane
I slide the tie from around my neck and toss it onto the bed, happy to be rid of that noose after three hours. Sophie wraps her arms around me and presses her cheek against my back.
“No chance you want to keep it on for a little while longer? I like the way you look in a suit and tie.”
Covering her hands with mine, I look back at her and smile. “Oh yeah? I hate dressing like t
his, but I might be able to be convinced.”
Her chuckle resonates through my chest before she slips out of my hold and walks over toward the window. “I’m so glad it was a nice day for Maxim’s christening. Late September can sometimes be iffy, but today was beautiful.”
I shrug out of my suit coat and lay it over the tie on the bed. “I thought Ryker was going to explode he was so fucking happy. Then again, I’m not used to seeing him not wearing that mask outside. I guess he didn’t want to scare the hell out of the priest.”
Sophie turns around to look at me and shakes her head. “I never thought I’d see him like this, to be honest. He and Kaia are over the moon about that little boy. I love that for them.”
A sense of sadness creeps into her voice, even though she seems happy for the new parents. I hesitate to ask, sure her mood change has to do with me. I’ve seen how she adores Maxim. She spent the whole summer with him and Kaia. It’s only natural that she probably wants to have one of her own.
Except that I haven’t exactly shown myself to be the man to join her in that.
Not that I wouldn’t be happy to have a son of my own. I never believed that my life had room for a woman, and I was wrong about that. Maybe a little guy to carry on my name would be nice.
“You okay? You seem off,” I say in a low voice as I watch her grab my coat and tie off the bed and walk over to the closet with them.
“I’m good. Just tired, I guess.”
She doesn’t sound tired. She sounds sad.
“Do you want to forget about dinner? We can just stay here, if you want.”
Now I sound sad. Christ.
With her back to me, she shakes her head. “No, I’m good.”
Nothing between us seems good right now. I hate seeing her like this. Maybe I was wrong thinking we could have a happily ever after like Ryker and Kaia.
Maybe I was wrong to think she could find that with me.
I pad up behind her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. Taking a deep breath in, I inhale the soft flowery scent of her perfume as I nuzzle her neck.
“What’s going on, Sophie? I thought you had a good time today.”