“I happen to love both dogs and cats,” Sadie said, a little too happy that she and Axel had earned their ten points.
Marshall picked a card and turned to his fiancée. “‘I’ll be away on a transcontinental business trip for two months. We’ll keep the love alive by, A, Cheating to remind us that we prefer each other by the time I return. B, Lots of video calls, phone convos, texts with heart emojis and as many visits as we can. C, As if I’d ever leave you behind.’”
Evie chose her answer card, keeping the letter hidden against her chest.
“Is that your final answer?” Marshall asked.
“It’s my final answer,” Evie said, patting Dude, who’d curled up beside her.
“First of all,” Marshall began, “I would never, ever, ever cheat on Evie. I’m lucky enough to have her. Second, if a business trip does call me away for two months, which will feel like forever, I would FaceTime every night, call, text and hope Evie would visit as often as she could. Not being able to leave each other’s side doesn’t sound so healthy.”
Evie grinned and held up her B card.
“Yes!” Marshall said, high-fiving his fiancée.
“Your turn, Axel,” Evie said.
He took a long sip of his coffee, then picked up a card. Was it her imagination or did he flinch slightly as he read it to himself?
Uh-oh. That meant the question was either embarrassing or too personal.
Axel cleared his throat. “‘Your partner wants five kids. You’re not sure you want kids at all. You, A, Assure your partner that compromise is the name of the game. B, Tell your partner it’s over. C, Get them upstairs to the bedroom pronto.” Axel didn’t look at Sadie. He kept his gaze somewhere between his lap and his coffee mug.
“Oooh, hard one,” Evie commented. “I mean, if one partner doesn’t want kids and the other wants five... Even compromising on two could be impossible. One wants a big family and the other doesn’t want kids at all.”
“That’s a toughie,” Marshall agreed. “Evie and I both want at least three, so phew,” he added.
Sadie bit her lip. She wanted the answer to be A. She needed the answer to be A. But only because Axel didn’t want any kids. Compromise was the name of the game—most of the time. But some things were deal breakers for good reason in relationships. Not wanting kids could be one of those.
Then again, Axel didn’t want to get married.
“I’m not sure,” Sadie said, picking up her coffee cup and taking a long sip.
“Well, pick your answer based on what you think Axel’s answer is,” Evie suggested. “That should make it easier.”
Yeah, it did. But he wouldn’t choose B—tell your partner it’s over. Not during a “love” game with her sister and her fiancé when she and Axel were supposed to be a madly-in-love engaged couple themselves.
She looked up at Axel—and felt instantly better. He was sitting there, all handsome and agreeable and kind, his piercing blue eyes grazing over her before he plucked a chocolate chip cookie off the plate on the table. She did know him, she realized. He wasn’t going to pick A, the one about compromising. He’d pick C, the lighthearted answer about making whoopee to make babies. It was the “right” answer for the game, for the situation, for the present company. Even if he didn’t mean it. Just like he didn’t mean that they were engaged. It was all pretend.
Pretend, pretend, pretend.
“My answer is C,” Sadie said, suddenly not having much fun.
“Is that your final answer?” Marshall asked with a grin.
“Yes,” Sadie said, trying to inject some levity into her voice.
“Okay, Axel, is my sister right?” Evie asked.
“Of course she is,” he said, turning the card over and showing everyone the C.
Sadie wanted to cry. Because it meant she’d been right about knowing him, understanding him. And because he was lying through his very nice teeth.
And she did want five kids. Okay, three, like her sister and brother-in-law-to-be. Two for sure. But Axel had made it crystal clear he wanted no kids. No wife. No forever.
The game moved on, the questions a little easier on Sadie’s heart and mind when it wasn’t her turn. They played for another forty minutes or so, but then Evie started yawning and Danny let out a “Mama?” from the nursery, and they were hugging Evie and Marshall goodbye.
“Next time, our place to finish the game!” Evie said, waving as she and Marshall headed down the porch steps.
Suddenly it was just the two of them. Now Sadie wished her sister and Marshall were here as buffers. Because she had no right to be upset. The man was not her fiancé!
Danny had quieted for a minute there, and either he’d fallen back to sleep or was waiting for her to come. “Mama?” he called again. “Zul?”
Sadie’s heart clenched. He was also calling for Axel. Her son adored the man. It went beyond naming a superhero lion after the man who saved him on the mountain.
Oh, boy. What had she done? After this week, when Axel disappeared from Danny’s life, how did she think the little boy was going to react to that? Why had she put her own son in a position to be hurt by his hero?
She closed her eyes for a second and then dashed upstairs, willing herself not to cry. Putting her own heart in jeopardy was one thing—Danny’s was off-limits to that.
“Sadie? You okay?” Axel asked from behind her.
She didn’t respond.
“Sadie,” he said again, putting a hand on her shoulder at the landing.
She whirled around. “Many nights my son calls for me when he wakes up and can’t soothe himself back to sleep. But tonight he also called for you.”
He froze for a second. “Because he knows he’s in my house. That’s all. He knows I’m here.”
“He’s two years old. All he knows is that ‘Zul’ is in his life, intensely suddenly. He doesn’t understand context. And when we leave, not just your house, Axel, but the ranch and your life, he’s going to be very confused.” Tears stung her eyes.
“Zul?” Danny called.
Now tears slipped down her cheeks. “Let’s go in. We can talk after.”
He gently reached up a hand as if to wipe away the tears, but she turned away and headed into the nursery.
“Zul,” Danny said, shooting his arms up toward Axel. Sadie could tell that Danny was tired and probably had had a strange dream that had woken him up. A little soothing and he’d be asleep in no time.
Axel glanced at her—for permission, she realized—and she let out a breath and nodded, her heart splintering.
As Axel picked up Danny and cuddled him close, rubbing his back, Danny said, “Dada,” and then his eyes closed.
Sadie gasped under her breath.
Dada.
Axel had gone stock-still.
Danny had fallen asleep, and Axel walked him around the nursery a couple of times, then paced in front of the crib before gently lowering him. Danny stirred and pulled Zul under his arm, then his little chest was rising up and down, up and down.
Sadie hurried out of the nursery and Axel followed, keeping the door slightly ajar. She rushed down the stairs and stood in the middle of the hall, her arms crossed over her chest. Axel came down slowly, staring at her, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans.
“We’ll leave in the morning,” she said. “Enough is enough. I’ll explain the misunderstanding about the engagement to my family and they’ll have to get over it. Danny comes first here. He called you Dada. Dada,” she repeated. “That’s a big problem, as you know. A big confusing problem for Danny. And it’s my job to protect him from things like that.” She shook her head, tears stinging.
He didn’t say anything. Just nodded—miserably.
“Well,” she said, lifting her chin. “I’ll go clean up. I need to do something with all this...angst, so don’t tr
y to be nice and stop me.”
“Okay,” he said. “Can I at least help?”
She burst into tears.
Axel stepped forward and pulled her into his arms and though part of her knew she should run into the kitchen and start scrubbing, she let herself have this. She sagged against him, wrapping her arms around him. The hug, warm, tight, was so comforting. “Whatever you need, Sadie. What Danny needs. That’s all I’ve ever cared about.”
That was only partially true. They needed to complete their very small family—a loving, committed life partner for Sadie, a dad for Danny. Axel had taken himself out of the running for that.
“No matter what, Sadie, everything is going to be okay. Know why?”
She looked up at him. “Why?”
“Because you’re a great mom.”
She swiped under her eyes and felt herself calming. “I’m trying to be. But I messed up here. I should never have let this lie go on. And tonight? Full-out lying in my sister’s face?” She shook her head. “Evie is my best friend. What am I doing?”
“You got caught in a crazy moment and you went with each subsequent moment and the moments snowballed. You’re doing this for Evie. Remember that. You would have come clean, but then she said all that stuff about not wanting to get engaged until you found your Mr. Right.”
“I know, but...” But what? She was going to march over to the cabin in the morning and announce she let them all believe a lie? That she’d gone to a bridal boutique and played a game meant for couples when she was really as single-Sadie as ever?
Yes, dammit. Because her son was calling her fake fiancé Dada. And that was the deal breaker.
Your toddler calls your faux fiancé Dada. Do you, A, Let your precious son believe that when nothing could be further from the truth. B, Tell everyone you’re a big fat liar. C, There is no good answer.
She was going with B. She had to tell the truth.
Evie’s wedding was at the end of the week. The truth would make her sister feel like dog doo and she’d be furious at Sadie for perpetuating the lie, for not telling at least her the truth when they were so close. Her mother would cry. Vanessa would have to call everyone she knew and would never get off the phone for the rest of the family reunion. Izzy, beloved Great-Gram, would be confused. Her mom and Aunt Tabby would go back to not even trying to be civil around each other for the sake of the engaged Winston sisters.
And Danny would ask where Zul was. When he’d see him.
What a mess. She could clean up the one in the kitchen by putting the dishes in the dishwasher and tossing the take-out containers in the trash.
“How can I not tell everyone the truth?” she asked him.
“This is one time I wish I was a superhero. That I could turn back time to the second Izzy thought we were the engaged ones, and neither of us said otherwise. But—”
“But you can’t and neither can I.”
“Actually, I was going to say, but then I—” He stopped again and stared at the floor, then at the window in the hall, then at Dude, who was staring at them.
“Then you what?” she asked, holding still. Then he what?
“Then I wouldn’t have gotten to know you, Sadie. And I like what I know. I wouldn’t have gone to Manuela’s Mexican Café. I wouldn’t have opened the letter from my dad after almost nine months of being scared to death of it.”
She almost gasped. She hadn’t expected him to say anything like that.
“You opened the letter?” she repeated. “Did it work the same magic that Daisy’s and Noah’s did for them?”
“I don’t know yet. It’s a list of four addresses. Nothing else. Just addresses. Manuela’s was one of them.”
“He’s sending you on an explanation of his life,” she said slowly. “Oh, Axel. I think that’s what you need to make peace with all that happened between you two.”
“I was thinking that maybe I’d check out another of the addresses tomorrow. But—”
She waited.
“I accidentally went to one of the addresses with you the other night and it helped, having you there to talk to about everything. Given that I don’t know what the next place will be or what it will call up in me, I’d appreciate having you there. Again. I mean, if you want.”
“Of course I want.”
He pulled her into his arms again and hugged her. “Thank you,” he whispered. He turned to Dude. “Time for a long walk, partner.” He looked at Sadie again. “You okay about being here alone for about half an hour?”
She nodded. “I could use the alone time right now. For about that long.”
“Me, too,” he said.
Then he and Dude were out the front door, taking her heart with them.
Chapter Ten
Axel woke up with the roosters the next morning, not that the ranch had roosters because they would wake up the guests at 4:30 a.m. He wanted to be out before Sadie and Danny left, and he didn’t want Sadie to feel that she had to say goodbye, which would be weird and confusing for Danny. He’d make a point of running into them on the ranch later and he’d give Danny closure. He wasn’t sure what, but he’d think of something. Something to assure him that even though the tyke wouldn’t be seeing Axel much, Axel would always be thinking of him.
Damn. That part was true. He would always be thinking of Danny. The little kid had gotten inside him. And so had his mother.
Last night had almost done him in. The after-dinner game. The question about kids—and he’d answered as he’d known Sadie would have liked, but it had cost him. That lie hadn’t been a momentary blip that he could forget about. It served to remind him that Sadie did want a bigger family than she had right now, one that included a husband and siblings for Danny.
And then Danny had called for him. And squeezed the air from Axel’s lungs even harder by calling him Dada.
Dada. Axel.
He’d returned from a walk with Dude, who could roam loose around the property near his cabin. This was all Dawson land, and guests never ventured this far out even when lost. The walk hadn’t done him any good. His shoulders were just as bunched up as when he’d left. He’d been hoping and not hoping—his life story—that Sadie would still be in the kitchen or maybe reading or watching TV in the living room so that they’d be forced to deal with each other, to talk. But the cabin had been quiet and Sadie’s door was closed. He’d peeked in on Danny and found Sadie asleep in the yellow glider on the moon-and-stars rug in the nursery, a throw half covering her.
He’d stood there staring at her for a good minute, his heart moving in his chest, the air seeping in and out of his lungs, whatever that meant, and he knew he wouldn’t be walking away from Sadie Winston so easily. He had...feelings for her. And he adored her son. He’d have to deal with that.
But she was going to tell her family the truth today. Unless he could save her from the fallout by magically proposing to her for real. But he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t up for a real relationship with real expectations and real emotions. At least in this faux engagement he could pretend—and pretending was easy.
He stopped at the ranch cafeteria for breakfast before the daily staff meeting at seven and poked his head in. Yes. The place had just opened and not a Winston was here yet. If any had been here and saw him sitting alone, they’d insist he join them and that would create more weirdness later, once word spread that they weren’t engaged.
How was she going to tell her family the truth? So damn awkward. And he knew she’d be mortified for a good long time. Dang it.
He went up to the counter, where a long, polished wood bar separated the dining area from the kitchen. He waved at Cowboy Joe and the two cooks working on bacon and sausage. Fran, in her hunter green polo, sat in her tall-backed chair at the counter, ready to tap his order into her computer tablet. She was seventy and a whiz at her job, keeping the line moving. Axel had a sm
ile for Fran, despite not feeling it. He went with the famed blueberry pancakes and a side of bacon. Coffee and orange juice were on a self-serve station to the side, and he planned to refill at least three times.
He took his order ticket and got himself coffee and juice, then sat at a table by a window, heart weighed down with at least five bricks. Was Sadie texting her mom right now? I have something to tell you.
He hated the idea of her dealing with all this on her own. The telling, the confused stares, the Oh, Sadie, how could you?
He sure did seem to care about her.
Axel pulled out his phone and texted her: You could always tell them that we decided to call off the engagement, that we want to give the relationship more time. You don’t have to say we never were a couple, let alone never engaged.
He set aside his phone, sipped his coffee and waited for a ping. He had no doubt she was awake, probably getting Danny ready for the day in his favorite dinosaur T-shirt and orange sneakers.
His phone stayed silent.
He drank more coffee and stared at the stupid phone. Ping already, dammit.
Nothing. He went up to the counter for the first refill of caffeine—and heard the ping from there. He would have rushed back to the table but he didn’t want hot coffee sloshing all over his hand.
I care about this woman a little too much, he realized.
He sat and picked up his phone and read her text.
My mom let me know Gram and Great-Gram are back on their feet, so I texted my mom and crew to meet me and Danny for breakfast at the caf in fifteen minutes. I’m going to tell them the truth.
You can make me the heavy, he texted. Tell them I ended the engagement.
Nah. My sister will feel awful about getting married this coming weekend in that case. What’s that wise saying? The truth shall set me free? Everyone will be mad for one second, then forget it and focus on the real bride—Evie. That’s my hope anyway.
Mad for one second? That crew? Ha. Her mother and aunt had been mad at each other for months.
I’ll be thinking of you, he texted.
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