by Forbes, Sara
My hands are splayed flat against the wall in front of me. This is incredibly exciting and feels so…naughty. I love it.
“Come on,” I urge him. “Do me. Do me hard.” I don’t know where this wild streak is coming from, but I don’t want a gentle lovemaking session. I want him to fuck me like the wild highlander man that he is.
His thrusts become deeper, more intense. Pain and pleasure dart through me so I don’t know one from the other but then it’s all pleasure. I’m gasping. Seamus presses himself in closer to me, his thighs, abs, and chest all hard and slick with sweat as we grind against each other. It’s animalistic and I love it.
He pumps into me with a fervor that tells me he’s been waiting for this for too long as well. We’re panting in unison, desperately seeking release but not wanting it to end.
“I’m close,” he grinds out.
“Me too.”
His grip on my hips tighten as he speeds up. My hands slip against the wall as he pounds. “Yes….yes, “ I say. “I just need…”
I can’t even finish because his next three thrusts do it—they give me what I need. My mouth opens, frozen in the bliss of releasing.
He growls and I feel him reaching his climax too. He hisses as he releases his load. Then, as I’m heaving in breath, he presses me tight into him, crossing his arms over my chest. The gesture is so heartfelt and intimate, it makes tears spring to the back of my eyes. I feel so safe, cherished, appreciated.
He pulls out of me.
“Do you want to stay?” I ask, turning to face him, happy to be looking into his kind face again.
“Absolutely.” He’s pulling on his boxer shorts. “But not the whole way ‘til dawn. I don’t know what Lorcan would make of me bounding down the stairs at breakfast time.”
“All right. Let’s do that.” I entertain the idea of keeping him hidden up in the bedroom but that’s as likely as not to backfire terribly. “You’ve got ‘til six. He’s a late riser. Getting him up for football can be a real struggle sometimes.”
“That should give me enough time.”
“For what?” I ask.
“You’ll see,” he says with a smirk.
I gather up my nightdress in glee.
In the bedroom, I push him in and close the door behind us, locking it for good measure.
“Oh, you mean business?” he asks.
“I do mean business.” I stride forward and snake my hands up his chest, up his neck and caress his bearded jaw.
He likes that. He’s hard again, the boxer shorts making it all too obvious.
I fondle his cock through the satiny material. I want to worship him, this charismatic clan chief, this man who’s solid as a rock, who I now know has harbored pent-up feelings for me for way too long. I don’t want him to have to wait another second.
I slide my fingers inside the elasticated top and relish the texture of his smooth, firm buttock muscles. Sweeping my fingers to the front, I clasp them around his hard, velvety cock.
“Cliona...” he half-protests.
I kneel. “Let me do this.”
“You’re going to make me roar.”
“You can control it.”
“Oh, God,” he hisses. I take him into my mouth, trying as best I can to accommodate his size. I’m not sure I‘m doing it right until he groans, “This is too…perfect. You’re killing me. Oh…fuck.”
Encouraged, I suck him harder, darting my tongue along the underside. I massage his balls at the same time, hoping to wrench more expletives from him.
And I do. He hisses out the worst things as I continue caressing, licking and sucking. The ripples of tension racking through his entire body and the sheer intensity of his breathing make it so gratifying for me. I can control this beast of a man and I love wielding this power over him, just as much as I love handing that power back to him when he’s working his magic on me.
“I’m going to…” He pulls out and his hot jet-stream hits my chest.
His fervent gaze meets mine. “Didn’t want to assume.”
“That’s all right. We have plenty of time to try different things,” I say.
“You’re right,” he says, lifting me into his arms. This si t some hook up this is so much more. Are you okay with that?
“More than OK, I say with a smile. “Truth be told, I wouldn’t know how to do a hook-up anyway.”
He looks at me curiously. “You’re a strange animal. But I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“How do you mean?” I ask, not sure whether to be offended or not.
He sits on the bed. “You’re beautiful, sexy, everything a man desires. And they must have tried, in their droves, but you either don’t see them, or you don’t want them. Until you pick someone. And then…”
“It’s explosive,” I finish for him. “Yes, I don’t feel attraction until I feel an emotional connection. It’s a thing with me. It’s why I could go seven years, I suppose. Apart from the fact that I was a single mom with a business, a rambling house, a stable of horses.”
He laughs. “Yes, all that too. “Well, for me, I wasn’t quite so monk-like, I’ll admit, but deep down, I knew no relationship would ever work out until I tried with you.”
I stare at my knees, wondering how this could be true. But his voice rings with the truth. So does his backstory, for that matter.
“Wow. Way to put the pressure on.”
“I know,” he laughs. “And people aren’t gonna like it.”
“I don’t care. Do you?”
“Nope.”
He grasps my hand and pulls me down so we’re lying side by side.
“Do you really mean it? I ask into the stillness.
What exactly?
About wanting be…before?
“Yes.”
“This is hard for me to admit, but I fancied you in college. I fancied you when you were dating Danny. I know you would have stayed faithful to him if Owen hadn’t gotten it in his head to seduce you. I think one of his cronies dared him to do it actually.”
“I’d rather not think about that.”
“Understood. But for the record, I don’t think it would have worked out with you and Danny.”
“Really? How so?”
“You’re both…cool and yet volatile.”
I smile. “It sounds about right actually. And you’re…what? Warm and steady?”
“I’ve got my moments with my temper, but yeah, I’m not too easily roused most of the time. I’m patient when I know what it is that I want.”
And with those precious words ringing in my ears, and him looking at me like that, and my body still buzzing with pleasure, I think I drift into a blissful sleep.
*
I wake in my bed, but there’s something unfamiliar about it. My stomach clenches with unease, but then I turn my head and see the golden hair pressed against the pillow.
Seamus.
His face is serene, unguarded, softer. I don’t want to disturb him. I don’t want to test the foundations of this fragile relationship we’ve created. Right now, I want to believe anything is possible. I want to dream about happily-ever-afters, where nobody else exists but us.
Not even my son…
I feel guilty for letting my mind go in that direction. Not only my son. His nephew.
I bite my lip. What seems so natural yesterday, so simple, so much the order of the universe, seems so complicated today. I’ve been blocking the fact that Seamus is Lorcan’s uncle. Just because I didn’t know Owen very well, this is still, from a certain point of view, a bit taboo.
But is it actually wrong?
I clutch my knees into my chest. Seamus himself clearly doesn’t think so. I’m not even sure what I think anymore. I need to be sure because otherwise it’ll be decided for me by the disapproval of others, perhaps even my son’s. But we’re not hurting anyone.
He mutters and shifts his weight. An arm comes out and grapples for something. I toy with him, dodging his wandering fingers, until finally, he groa
ns and raises his head, his eyes smoldering. He’s back to one hundred percent power.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” I say.
His eyes wander over my face. “Awake long?”
“Ages,” I joke.
He looks pained. “Sorry.”
“Only kidding. Just woke now.”
“Okay then.” He pulls me in for a kiss. It’s scorching, with exactly the same fervor as last night. Any worries I may have entertained that this was a one-night affair completely disintegrate with every lash of his tongue.
My body is pulsing for him; I want more. I want it to never end. Time is running out, though. He has duty in the hotel this morning that he can’t just forget about. And I need to send him packing before I can wake Lorcan, get him to school, and somehow explain the new circumstances on the way.
“A quick coffee for the road?” I ask brightly, tugging his hands away.
“No, a quick you.” His arms snake around my waist, pulling me flat up against him. I let out a squeal. I resist for all of two seconds before a wave of longing crashes over me. I slide down and face him, lying on my side, staring into his wonderful eyes. We lie like this for a moment, just being.
The only movement is the batting of our eyelids, the gentle fall and rise and fall of our chests as we breathe. How is it that the simplest things bring the most joy?
“Last night…was incredible,” he says finally, his voice creaky. “This is incredible. Worth waiting years for.”
I rise up on my elbow and push the pillow into his face. “You know, Callaghan, I’m too old for flattery.”
He grabs my wrist. “It’s true.”
“Then why didn’t you say something?”
His face grows thoughtful. “I told myself I didn’t care about you, or, Ballytirrel. I was gone anyway. For the longest time, I thought you were going to marry Danny. You were always over there in his house. Everyone knew. Everyone assumed.”
“Yes,” I say. What can I say? It’s true.
“I had to forget you and get on with things because that’s what people do.”
“But you know now that Danny and I were never a thing after that. I mean, how could we be? We were both wracked with guilt—he, for what happened with Owen. Me, for being a treacherous whore, as your father has told me to my face several times in the not too distant past.”
Seamus buries his face in his hands. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”
“It’s fine. I get where he’s coming from. I did stray, with Owen. I was stupid, young and foolish and drugged-up and stupid. Your father has a point. Or had. I just wish he’d let it go.”
“People can be very hypocritical in such matters,” he says darkly.
“Well, I’ve learned not to take things so personally. I’ve forgiven myself for what happened, and I’ve concentrated on being the best mother to Lorcan I can possibly be, which includes involving your father in his life, no matter what that costs me personally.”
He nods. “It’s the only way to survive him. Them.”
“You have experience?”
He smiles ruefully. “With my father’s verbal abuse? Sure. Plenty.”
“But would you say that things are better between you now?”
“They’re bearable. It helps that the roles are clearly defined. He may still be head of the household, and I know he clings to his romantic notions of being the head of a great Irish clan. But I’m head of the hotel enterprise that actually brings in the money. It makes things easier—him dealing with dreams, and me with reality.”
I long to ask him how he thinks his father will deal with the reality of the two of us, but I hold back. One thing at a time. Lorcan first.
“So when will I see you again?” he asks.
“Uhm.” I want to say tonight, but then I remember Lorcan and I were going over to Ellen’s tonight—and Ellen is not one to appreciate a change of plans. “How about tomorrow night?”
“That’s good.” He smiles. “I’ll get Niall to take over reception then.”
15
SEAMUS
Everything is running as normal at work, but inside my head, explosions are happening. Of course, I have to deal with routine as if nothing has changed. But how best to introduce this new reality to my family without them freaking out totally? And when to do it?
Niall is smiling behind the reception desk all morning and I have to wonder whether he’s found someone new in his life, too—someone local perhaps, or there’s been some development with the elusive Marcie because normally he doesn’t smile until well into the afternoon.
“I can’t help noticing how chirpy you are this morning,” I say, as I relieve him of his desk duty.
He’s packing his stuff—car keys, Kindle pone into his rucksack. “I could say the same about you.”
I grin. “Well I asked first.”
“Bit of a breakthrough in Texas.”
“With Marcie?”
He nods. “She’s agreed to visit Shannon again.”
“That’s great. When?”
“Still to be decided. But before Christmas.”
“That’s…quite a while though.”
“That’s OK. I can wait. What about you? Why the perpetual smirk?”
I shake my head. “Just business going well. I’m thinking we can hire more staff and give both of us some time off.”
“I wouldn’t mind that. Speaking of which, my shift’s over, so don’t go asking me to change the signs or get supplies or any of the rest of it.”
“All right you’re off the hook,” I say reluctantly. I had been going to tell him to oversee the delivery of the bathroom supplies in half an hour, but I see that was unfair of me. “What’re you going to do?”
“I’m setting up the bonfire. Taking in the old driftwood from the forest. When Lorcan comes, he’s going to help me build up the heap. Give him something useful to do.”
“Oh, right. Mm, forgot about that.”
“How could you forget Owen’s day?”
“I didn’t mean that. I just meant the bonfire.” I rub my temple. “Is it really necessary though?”
“Yes,” he says with determination.
I witnessed the spectacle last year for the first time, which was then in its sixth iteration. Evener year on July 21st—the anniversary of Owen’s death, they go up to Ginnitty’s field, up to the fated spot on the cusp of the hill where Danny Moore and Owen had their fight and Owen fell and cut his skull open on that rusting, old trailer.
The ceremony involves lighting a big fire and then burning a man of straw, Burning Man-style. Nobody has to tell me who the man represents. And actually, they have a straw woman too meant to represent Cliona. Because the guys were fighting over her.
They’ve been doing it every year since I left—religiously. It’s turned into a thing. Some of the locals have even asked to come. Special invite only
It was all Niall’s idea, pyromaniac that he is, to commemorate Owen the year after he died, and the tradition stuck. It’s as close to a pagan ceremony as you can get. And I hate it.
“You think Enda will come back for it?” I ask him.
“Oh yeah. I asked him and he said he would.
“Well, at least that.”
*
The moment I’ve been waiting for has arrived. Cliona’s car has just driven up outside. She’s walking toward the hotel, Lorcan skipping ahead of her.
Niall blocks my view by standing in front of the reception desk. I’m pretty sure it’s deliberate. I hiss out a breath and continue typing the staff-planning into the main computer.
Lorcan crashes in the door.
“Hey, Lorcan. Good day at school?” I ask.
He nods and smiles at us both. There’s no sign of anything on his face other than the usual glee at being here. So, she didn’t tell him yet. Or he doesn’t care. With seven-year-olds, you just can’t tell.
There’s a terrible silence when she opens the door. I’m holding my breath, dumbstru
ck. Niall’s watching us just a tad too closely. Nothing escapes that man, unfortunately.
“Hey there,” I say in my most professional, friendly tone.
“Hey.” She smiles at us both in turn. He gaze lingers on me in a way that makes me want to leap over the counter and grab her.
“Come on, Lorcan, we’ll go down to the forest.” Niall says in a very obvious nod to the fact that we want to be alone. “Poor Uncle Shay has to work all evening.”
I smirk at him. I do appreciate the gesture though.
“What’re we doing in the forest?” Lorcan asks.
I cringe. Is Niall going to explain all that nonsense? I hope not.
“What indeed?” Niall muses playfully. “We’ll go looking for Little Red Riding Hood. Or maybe the big, bad wolf, hm?”
He takes Lorcan by the hand who squeals in delight.
When they’re gone, I let out a long breath. “How was your day?” I ask her.
“Oh, grand.”
“Did you tell him?”
She wrinkles her nose. “No opportunity really. But we’ll chat tonight. It’ll be a natural segue from talking about his fun here today.”
“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.”
“You’re the one with the more complicated task. Do they know?”
“No, I thought I’d wait until you told Lorcan.”
She nods. “Thanks, yes. Good idea.”
I reach over the desk for her hand. She comes forward and lets me take her fingers in a grip. “Can you hang around a while?”
She shakes her head. “No. I have to collect Deirdre. She’s back from Dublin tonight.”
I groan my disappointment. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
“Same here,” she says in a hushed voice. “Oh Seamus, it only seems real when I’m here with you.”
I give her a bracing smile. “It’s an adjustment. But we’ll see each other tomorrow and make it real, OK?”
“That sounds so good. Best if you come over to us again and by that stage, I’ll have told Lorcan. It’ll all be easier then.”