The Case of the Lovable Labs

by B R Snow

  “Get this creature away from me!” Faith cried out as she started to hyperventilate.

  “Captain!” Josie said. “Come here. Come.”

  The Newfie reluctantly left his swim buddy and made his way to the steps that led back up to the dock. He shook violently, climbed back on the boat, then put his paws up on the side and stared down at Faith who was slowly paddling her way back to the dock. Everyone on the boat turned to look at Josie who was watching the scene play out with a big grin.

  “Don’t look at me,” Josie said when she noticed our stares. “I didn’t push her. She fell in.”

  “She fell?” I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

  “Yeah, she did. As the result of an ill-fated, shoe-rescue mission.”

  Josie shrugged at us, then nodded at Chef Claire to lift her side of the ice chest. They carried it onto the boat, emptied the contents into the cooler and fridge, then sat down in the stern. Faith, shivering and looking like a drowned rat, climbed aboard and my mother handed her a towel and draped a blanket around her shoulders.

  “Why don’t you have a seat out in the sun, dear?” my mother said, consoling her. “You’ll warm up in a few minutes.”

  “I hate this place,” Faith said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Then she glared at Faith. “Why couldn’t you have gotten married somewhere normal? Like Vegas.”

  “Maybe next time,” Jill said, staring out at the water.

  “Okay, let’s get this show on the road,” my mother said, sitting down behind the wheel.

  The boat left the dock, and Rooster waved goodbye then headed back toward his workshop shaking his head. I knew exactly how he felt.

  “Who’s ready for a Kamikaze?” Chef Claire said, holding up a large plastic pitcher.

  “You brought Kamikaze’s?” Charlotte said, nudging Trudy who was sitting next to her.

  “Only a gallon,” Chef Claire said, laughing.

  “Well, then I guess we’ll just have to pace ourselves,” Trudy said, accepting two glasses from Chef Claire.

  “Speak for yourself,” Charlotte said, draining half of her drink.

  I sat down next to my mother and stretched my legs out.

  “Beautiful day,” I said, glancing over at her.

  “It’s not the day I’m worried about, darling.”

  Chapter 17

  A half-hour later, we arrived at the entrance to the Lake of the Isles, and my mother put the boat in neutral then shut the engines down. The breeze was warm and light, and the water shimmered in the sun like a massive sheet of blue-green glass. Since it wasn’t the weekend and still way too early in the season to avoid frostbite-free water skiing, we were the only boat around, and the silence was broken only by the sound of two loons chatting. The dogs cocked their heads at the noise, then Chloe glanced over at me with an expectant look on her face.

  “Sure, go ahead,” I said, grabbing a bag of tennis balls next to me.

  “My babies have never been in the water before,” Missy said, frowning. “Do you think they’ll be okay?”

  “Yeah, I like their chances,” I said, tossing one of the balls into the water.

  All four of our dogs dove off the bow and were soon in hot pursuit of the tennis ball that was bobbing about fifty feet from the boat. The three young labs were perched on the bow, desperate to join their buddies in the water, but not comfortable making the jump. Uncertain about how to get in the water, they padded back and forth barking at the other dogs. Josie headed for the bow, removed a small folding set of steps from underneath one of the benches and hooked it over the side of the boat. She gently lifted the black lab onto the top step, and the dog surveyed the situation then made his way down the remaining two steps into the water. Soon, he was swimming rapidly toward the other dogs.

  “I think he likes it,” Josie said, grinning back at us.

  The other two labs headed for the steps and made their into the water with no help.

  “Smart dogs,” Josie said, nodding.

  I fired several more tennis balls into the water, and a mad scramble for them ensued.

  “Okay, I’ll keep an eye on the dogs while you guys grab a bite to eat,” I said, sitting down on the sundeck that stretched across the bow.

  “You want me to bring you a plate?” Josie said.

  “No, thanks. I’ll eat in a bit.”

  Josie and Missy headed for the stern, and I watched the dogs paddle through the water and wrestle with each other. As always, Captain was a dominating presence, but all four of the adult dogs kept a close, protective eye on the labs. I continued to stare out at the water for a few minutes, then turned around when I felt the presence of someone standing behind me.

  “They look like they’re having a lot of fun,” Jessie said.

  “Yeah, they love coming over here,” I said. “Come on up and have a seat.”

  Jessie climbed up next to me and stretched her legs over the edge. Her feet remained suspended about two feet above the water.

  “So, this is how you spend your life?” Jessie said.

  “This is certainly a big part of it,” I said, nodding.

  “Good life.”

  “Yeah, I’ve got nothing to complain about.”

  Finally, something I didn’t need to lie about: The quality of my life was an unassailable truth, and it was probably about as perfect as anyone could ever expect. Apart from a scrambled-neuron headache that was making my temples pound.

  “So, tell me a bit about yourself, Jessie.”

  “There’s really not much to tell. I haven’t done anything yet.”

  “Well, that’s understandable. You’re still pretty young. What are you, twenty?”

  “I just turned nineteen,” she said, laughing at Captain who now had three tennis balls in his mouth. “How does he get all of them in his mouth?”

  “He gets that from his mother,” I said, laughing. “And your Uncle Bobby owns the catering company?”

  “No, Bobby’s not my uncle,” Jessie said, shaking her head.

  “Oh, I heard he was your uncle,” I said, frowning. “Friend of the family?”

  “More like family of a friend,” she said. “I don’t have any family.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that,” I said, turning toward her. “You’re an orphan?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered. “My parents died in a plane crash when I was six.”

  “That’s awful,” I said, as always feeling helpless about being unable to come up with anything better when trying to respond compassionately to tragic events.

  “Yes, it certainly was. It was in all the papers,” she said, staring out at the water. “Noted airplane designer and his wife die in a fiery accident.”

  “Really?” I said, frowning. “Where was this?”

  “Somewhere over the Nevada desert,” she said. “My father did a lot of work for the government, and that’s where most of the protected airspace is. Or so I’ve been told.”

  “What happened?”

  “He and my mom were doing a test flight with one of his new planes,” Jessie said softly. “But he got some of the math wrong when he designed it, and the wings cracked then fell off at fifteen thousand feet.”

  I thought about my own intense fear of flying and shuddered.

  “I don’t know what to say,” I said.

  “What can you say?” she said with a shrug. “So, I spent the next twelve years as a ward of the state bouncing around foster homes. You have no idea how happy I was when I turned eighteen and got accepted into college.”

  “You just finished your freshman year?”

  “I did,” she said. “And when one of my roommates mentioned that her uncle had a catering company up here and was looking for someone to help out this summer, I jumped on it.”

  “Who’s your roommate?”

  “Sandy Wilkins,” Jessie said.

  “Oh, I know Sandy. Bobby’s her uncle?” I said, glancing over at her.

  “I can never follow her family tree,” Jess
ie said. “He might only be her cousin, but she calls him her uncle. It’s very complicated.”

  “It is,” I said, laughing. “The Wilkins’ have a very big family. I’ve never been able to keep it all straight, either. I haven’t seen Sandy around. What’s she up to?”

  “She’s spending the summer backpacking through Europe with her boyfriend.”

  “Nice,” I said, nodding. “So, you just decided to spend the summer here?”

  “Yeah, I needed to get away from New Hampshire for a while, and Sandy is always talking about how beautiful it is up here. She wasn’t lying.”

  “No, she wasn’t,” I said, glancing around the calm water as the soft breeze kicked up a notch. “Chloe. No.”

  Chloe had apparently had enough of Captain hogging all the tennis balls and was tugging hard on one of his ears.

  “I said no,” I called out, doing my best not to laugh. “She’s such a beast.” I refocused on Jessie. “You must have been surprised to see Bill and Missy at the wedding.”

  “I was shocked,” she said. “But not nearly as shocked as I was when I heard what happened to Bill. I was devastated. I still am.”

  “I take it the two of you were close,” I said, deciding to toss my line into the water to see if I got a nibble.

  She didn’t miss the inference, and she stared at me. Then she shrugged and smiled.

  “Yeah, I’ve been sleeping with him,” she said as a simple statement of fact. “That’s some real breaking news. A young female student sleeping with one of her professors. I’m such a cliché, right?”

  “Hey, I’m not judging. You’re old enough to make your own decisions.”

  “One would think,” she said softly.

  “Aren’t you interested in any of the guys your own age?”

  “Drunken frat-rats and tech-heads?” she said, frowning. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

  “Got it. I imagine Bill must have seemed very different from them,” I said, then bit my bottom lip for the slip-up. “I mean he is different.”

  “Yeah, he is. I have some pretty basic requirements when it comes to men, and he meets most of them,” she said. “Decent table manners, capable of having an intelligent conversation, and knowing their way around a wine list is a definite plus. And, of course, someone who’s able to get my motor running if you catch my drift.”

  “Sure, sure,” I said, staring out at the water. “So, do you think the two of you have a future together?”

  “Oh, absolutely not,” she said, scowling. “Bill is just one of those life experiences every girl is supposed to have, right?”

  “I guess,” I said. “But what do I know? I didn’t have that particular experience in college.”

  “It’s no big deal. Bill’s just a little something for the memory bank. You know what I mean?”

  “I am familiar with the memory bank,” I said, massaging my temples.

  “Truth be told, I’m just trying to make it through college in one piece.”

  “I see. And you think he can help?”

  “Oh, he’s definitely helping. I’m just not sure how long it’s going to last,” she said. “But if he doesn’t make it out of his coma, I guess I’m not going to have to worry about that, huh?”

  I flinched at the bluntness of her comment but said nothing.

  “That sounded harsh, didn’t it?” Jessie said.

  “Well, maybe a little,” I said, glancing over at her.

  “I’ve just gotten used to losing people,” she said. “People have always told me that going through a tragedy like that at an early age helps toughen you up for the other things in life that are going to happen. But instead of tough, I think it just made me hard and cold.”

  “You don’t seem hard and cold, Jessie.”

  “You barely know me,” she said, laughing. “Give it some time.”

  “At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor,” I said, laughing along. Then I made direct eye contact with her. “I want to ask you a question. But I should probably warn you that it might come across as a bit inappropriate.”

  “Go right ahead. I’m very used to people asking me inappropriate questions.”

  “Who do you think tried to murder Bill?”

  She met my stare and thought about the question for several seconds. Then she rubbed the side of her face and looked away to gaze out at the water.

  “It’s a reasonable question. Based on what Bill’s told me about both of them, it either has to be his deranged ex-wife or that narcissist posing as his daughter.”

  “Deranged?”

  “Absolutely. If there’s one thing I recognize, it’s deranged,” she said, glancing behind her toward the stern where Jennifer was in the middle of an animated conversation with her sister, Charlotte. “Look at her. Do you see the way she’s waving her hands around? That’s a classic sign of someone who isn’t comfortable just using words to make her point. And she’s getting very frustrated about not being able to get her message across. I’d say she’s about ten seconds away from either punching her or getting up and walking away.”

  We continued to watch the conversation play out, then Jennifer made a final comment and walked away from her sister in a huff.

  “Wow, you’re good,” I said, laughing. “Maybe you should forget about history and major in psychology.”

  “I’d rather die than study psychology,” she said, shaking her head at Jennifer. “It’s no wonder Bill slept around during their marriage.”

  “I thought she was the one who was sleeping around,” I said, trying to remember what I’d been told.

  “I imagine it was a mutual agreement,” Jessie said. “But, who cares, right? At least they both got out in one piece.”

  “You seem to like that reference,” I said, my neurons flaring.

  “What? The one piece thing?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about the importance of trying to live a complete life,” she said, shrugging. “And the one piece metaphor really resonates with me. But what do I know? I’m nineteen.”

  “What are you two talking about?”

  We both turned and saw Missy standing behind us staring out at the dogs who continued to do battle over the tennis balls.

  “Hey, Professor McNamara. We were just talking about Bill and Jennifer,” Jessie said. “You didn’t miss anything important.”

  “I’m sure I didn’t,” Missy said, laughing. “How are my babies doing out there?”

  “They’re doing great. And I was just getting ready to herd them all back to the boat,” I said, sliding off the bow. “They’d be happy to spend all day out there, but they’ve had enough for now. And in about five minutes, they’ll all be sound asleep.”

  “How do you get them out of the water?” Missy said.

  “Watch,” I said, leaning over the edge of the boat facing the dogs. I whistled sharply once, and all seven dogs began treading water and staring up at me. “Let’s go. Back to the boat.”

  Captain woofed his displeasure at me as he continued to paddle in place.

  “Don’t argue with me, Captain. I said, let’s go.”

  Captain, joined by Chloe, barked again.

  “Okay, so you want to play it that way, huh?” I held my hands about a foot apart, palms up. “Snack?” I said, then let the question hang in the air.

  Captain and Chloe, followed by Al and Dente, made a beeline for the boat. The three young labs trailed behind paddling furiously.

  “Rule number one,” I said, laughing. “Always try to be smarter than your dogs. There are some towels under that bench over there. Grab a bunch of them. And you might want to head to the stern for a few minutes unless you feel like taking a very cold shower.”

  “Is it snack time?” Josie said as she approached.

  “Yeah, I think they’re starting to wear out,” I said, tossing her one of the towels.

  “Here comes the fun part,” Chef Claire said, catching both towels I threw her.
r />   Missy and Jessie took a few steps back as Josie headed for the steps hanging off the side of the boat. Captain led the way up, hopped up on the railing, then jumped down onto the deck and shook vigorously.

  “Chance of showers, one hundred percent,” Josie said, hunching over and shielding her head with her arms.

  Chloe, then Al and Dente, repeated the same process. Josie helped the labs back into the boat. They stood on the deck and shook. I tossed Missy a towel, then a second as she dried her three dogs. When we finished, we wiped the deck with the used towels and spread them out on the sun deck to dry.

  “That’s quite a process you guys have worked out,” Jessie said. “Good job.”

  “Thanks,” I said, wiping my hands on my shorts. “It took us a while, but we finally figured out a way to stay reasonably dry.”

  Chef Claire handed us small plastic bags that contained her latest creation.

  “What is this?” Missy said, staring at the bag.

  “I call it Snackers,” Chef Claire said as she opened the bag she was holding.

  “Chef Claire is dabbling in dog food,” I said, opening my bag and glancing down at Chloe who was sitting on her haunches and staring up at me.

  “It’s a dog granola,” Chef Claire said, starting to feed small handfuls to Al and Dente. “I’ve got two versions. One is grain free, but this one has wheat and oatmeal, sweet potato, apples, carrots, and chicken jerky along with a few other goodies. My guys love it.”

  Missy began feeding bites to her three labs, and they wagged their tails furiously. Captain woofed loudly. I looked down at the dog who was staring at Josie then glanced over at her just as she was tossing a handful into her mouth.

  “You’re unbelievable,” I said, giving her a sad shake of the head.

  “What can I say? It’s fantastic,” she said, reaching into the bag.

  “Hey, that’s for the dogs,” Chef Claire said, laughing.

  “There’s plenty to go around,” Josie said as she watched Captain devour the large handful she was holding out. “You don’t mind sharing, do you, Captain?”