“The shot?”
“Yes. And that’s a good thing. It means you’re still in your head where you need to be. Why?”
“So I stop myself from jumping too much and throwing off the shot.”
“Precisely.”
She continued practicing, hitting the target dead-on over and over again.
“Your muscles are fatiguing. Let’s switch to handguns. Where do we start?”
“Stance, sir,” Darrow responded.
“Show me. First, what is your preference?”
“CAR, sir.”
“Why?”
“By utilizing the Center Axis Relock, I can move more quickly, and I find the triangle more stable.”
“What else?”
“I’m smaller that way.”
Her instructor laughed. “Yes, but why?”
“Because my shoulders are ninety degrees to the target with my support side shoulder pointing directly at it.”
“Line up your sights.”
Darrow brought the gun up so the sights were between her eyes and the target.
“Why else is this position effective?”
“Because I can fire more quickly. My stance doesn’t move.”
“What’s next?”
“Sight alignment and trigger control.”
“Both of which you are good at. Now, start breaking shots.”
Every shot remained dead-on simply because she was controlling her breathing and relaxing her muscles. An hour ago, neither made sense to her. Now that they did, it was easier to put both into practice.
“You’re a damn good shot, Duchess, now that you aren’t skipping the first two steps. Keep practicing, but that’s all for now. What else is on your schedule for today?”
“Recruiting and handling assets, sir. Following that, surveillance and counter-surveillance techniques.”
“Good,” he said and walked away.
By the time she was permitted to return to quarters that night, she fell asleep without changing out of her clothes.
When she woke the next morning, her arms, shoulders, and head ached. Yet, she’d never been happier at any other time of her life.
She went straight to the firing range after she showered and ate breakfast. She’d only been there an hour when her instructor from the day before approached. She was ready for another lecture about what she was doing wrong. Instead, he told her she’d been summoned back to headquarters.
He led her to an all-terrain vehicle and drove her to the building she’d only visited once—when Axel personally delivered her for training.
As they approached, she saw him talking with JohnTwo. “Cor blimey,” she muttered, wondering what kind of mess she was in now.
“Get her back here as soon as you can,” she heard General Pope tell Axel.
“What the bloody hell, Axel?” she said when they were alone.
“I understand that you and Esland Cartwright are close friends. She’s in trouble.”
“What’s happened?”
“A man was found dead in her flat. Whoever killed him left a message for her, saying she was next.”
Darrow covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, God. Poor True.”
“I need your help, Darrow.”
“Of course. What can I do?”
“Help convince her to trust me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ll explain on the way.”
“Wait. I’m leaving?”
“As JohnTwo said, I’ll have you back as quickly as I can.”
Over the course of their two-hour drive north to Bedfordshire, Darrow listened as Axel talked about the woman who had been her best mate since they were children.
THORNTON AND ORINA were waiting under the portico when Axel drove up.
“There she is,” said her brother, hugging her. “You gave us all quite a scare.”
“I’m sorry for that, but—”
“You needn’t say more,” said Thornton. “I’ll be eternally grateful to Axel for doing for you what Sutton and I should have done.”
“Rest assured we’ll talk about that another time,” she responded, smiling.
“Where is True?” Darrow asked Orina after they’d hugged hello.
“With Mrs. Mollybock in the kitchen.”
Darrow saw her brother cringe. “Have you ever considered asking her why she doesn’t like you?”
Thornton waved her away. Just as well, she couldn’t wait to see her friend.
“TRUE!” shouted Darrow when she ran into the kitchen and saw her talking to the beloved Whittaker family cook. “It’s so bloody good to see you,” she added. “Although I hate the reason why with every fiber of my being.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, looking contrite.
“That was always your way, wasn’t it? Apologizing for things beyond your control.” Darrow released her and hugged Mrs. Mollybock.
“Can I steal her?”
The cook smiled. “On your way, then.”
Darrow led her to the east wing and into the bedroom that had been hers as a child and teenager. How many nights had the two of them stayed up talking into the wee hours?
She sat on the bed, pulled True next to her, and fell back on the mattress. “Remember all the hours we spent solving the world’s problems? You were going to be the intrepid reporter—well done, by the way, crack reporter at the Times before the age of thirty. I always mean to tell you how proud I am of you.”
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“I was going to be the female equivalent of James Bond. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.”
“What do you mean?”
“This has to stay so far off the record. You cannot utter it to any other living person.”
“I would never, but if you can’t tell me…”
“Of course I’ll tell you. We’re best mates.”
“You may not think so much longer,” True muttered and fell back on the mattress beside her.
Whatever she was talking about, they’d get to. But now, she really wanted to talk about herself. Was that horribly selfish?
“Oh, True, please do me the courtesy of begging that I tell you what I’ve been doing.”
“Do tell,” she said, albeit with less enthusiasm than Darrow would’ve preferred.
“I’ve been at Fort Monckton.”
“Fort Monckton?”
“As a reporter, you of all people should know that it’s the SIS training site.”
“In Portsmouth?”
Darrow rolled her eyes. Cor blimey. “No, in Iceland.”
“Why?”
“Why am I training there, or why am I in training?”
“Both.”
“I suppose it began with me being so bloody frustrated that I was left out of every single conversation that took place between my brothers and Axel. And then it got worse. Losha, Thornton’s wife, was a Russian assassin, and as you know, Sutton’s wife is a freaking genius NSA agent. Or was. Even my mother is living with Sir Caird—what a scandal that was, right?”
True didn’t seem overly interested in the duchess’ affair with the former MI6 chief. If she were a reporter, Darrow would be all over that story.
“Anyway, I’d had enough. Not just with that, but with everything. I escaped to America, came back due to Wellie’s poor health, and in less than a month, my irrelevance was back in full force. And then, on New Year’s Eve…”
“What happened?”
“You know Sutton and Wren were married that night?”
“I do.”
“Everything was jolly, good fun until Axel and Quint ganged up on me. They were both wankered, and my so-called frivolous approach to life suddenly became their folly.”
“Oh, dear.”
“Right? Anyway, I was bloody angry and left. Eventually, Axel came looking for me, followed shortly thereafter by Quint. The two got into a pissing match and didn’t even notice I’d left again.”
“Then what happe
ned?”
“I didn’t sleep much at all. I went from feeling as though I finally mastered a certain independence—granted, I was staying with Wren and Quint—but there I was, back in the same spot where I felt as though I’d lost myself. So, I disappeared.”
“Where did you go?”
“Nowhere. Wren and Sutton were off on their honeymoon. Quint was off my list anyway, so I ended up getting quite trolleyed at St. Ermin’s. Evidently, after several days of unabashed eating and drinking, I called Axel, who came and got me.” Darrow sighed. “Always the savior.”
“How did you end up at Fort Monckton?”
“Once I sobered up, he listened to me, maybe for the first time. He’s the one who got me the training spot. Called in a favor from an old mate who, by the way, is now a bloody general. He gave me a couple of days on my own to think it over, and when I told him it was what I really wanted to do, he made it happen.”
“Do you like it?”
“It is training, but yes, I love it.”
“I’m sorry he interrupted it.”
“You’re more important, True.” Darrow turned so she was facing her friend. “There are things you need to know about Axel and me.”
“There are things I need to tell you about Axel and me too.”
“You have always crushed on him,” said Darrow.
“We were children.”
Darrow’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. It was slightly harder to admit that she’d always known Axel had a soft spot for True, or how she’d turned a blind eye to it for so many years. “I know,” she whispered. “I also knew he…it…was a bit more for him.”
True shook her head.
Perhaps somewhat subconsciously, Darrow put her hand on her heart. “It was, and I always knew it. It shames me to think that I let our friendship drift just to keep the two of you apart.”
“He loves you.”
“Yes, he does, and I love him, but not in the way you think.”
“How, then?”
“So many ways. We grew up together. I can’t say he was like my brother, and I doubt he’d say it either. I know now how wrong I was to think we could ever have a romantic relationship, not in the long term anyway,” she said, taking a deep breath.
“What makes you say that?”
Darrow fell back against the mattress and looked up at the ceiling. “There are innumerable reasons, but how could I have fallen for Quint so quickly if I was in love with Axel?”
“You know he was at the pub last night.”
“What do you mean?”
True lowered her voice. “He was there to wish Wren and Wilder bon voyage. I overheard him tell Axel that he was returning to the States this morning.”
She didn’t want to accuse her friend of being daft, but Wren and Sutton were supposed to leave days ago, as was Quint. “Do you know why they were still in town?”
“They were worried about you. Everyone was.”
“Cor blimey,” she muttered. Why? Hadn’t Axel told them she was at Fort Monckton?
“Darrow, are you with Quint now?”
“I’m not with anyone now. I guess you could say that I’m with me. Orina is the one who made me see it was something I had to do,” Darrow said, shaking her head.
“How?”
“She told me that she and my brother would never have had a chance if they both hadn’t first learned that they could exist on their own. Knew themselves better than they tried to know anyone else. She said she’d come to the realization that she didn’t need Thornton, but she wanted him.” Darrow rolled to her side. “I didn’t know myself at all. I still don’t, but I’m working on it.”
“I don’t know myself either.”
True had always possessed a self-assuredness that Darrow envied, even when they first met. Her parents’ automobile accident and subsequent death had hit her friend hard, but she’d come through it with such grace.
“You’ve known yourself since you were a child. There are those of us who are babes of the universe, like me. I can be totally and utterly clueless. And then there are the old souls. You’re one of them. You have wisdom that isn’t of your years.”
“You give me far too much credit. I am as clueless as any other.”
“Axel is an old soul too. I think that’s why you connected the way you did, even as children. So tell me, what happened between you?”
“We kissed—almost.”
“Nothing more.”
“No, nothing more.”
“I wasn’t asking. I know it was nothing more. You wouldn’t allow it to be, because of me.”
“Darrow, we aren’t…I mean, he’s helping me. That’s all it is. In fact, doing so is his job.”
“Oh, True, you are a silly thing at times. Listen to me carefully.”
Her friend nodded.
“I’m not talking about the break-in or even the dead bloke found in your flat. I’m talking about you and Axel.”
“If you have a single objection…”
“How could I?”
“I’ll gladly stay away from him if that’s what you want.”
“No, I don’t want you to stay away from him, nor do I want him to stay away from you. There is no chance that Axel and I will ever have a romantic relationship again, and that’s because neither of us wants it.”
“That doesn’t mean he wants one with me either.”
Darrow laughed. “You were right a minute ago when you said you were as clueless as any other, but only in this. Open your eyes, my dear friend, and take a look at the man when he’s in front of you. He has the same dazed, love-filled expression you do when you talk about him.”
“He doesn’t love me, nor I, him. That’s ludicrous.”
“Maybe not yet, but ultimately, it’s what you both want. Especially Axel.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because we spent the entire ride from Portsmouth here talking about you.”
So much so that he hadn’t bothered to tell her that Quint stayed in London because he was worried about her. Her assumption was that he’d gone directly home as soon as she left the abbey and went to St. Ermin’s.
“What’s it like, Darrow? Training, I mean.”
She smiled. It was harder than anything she’d ever done, but she’d expected it to be.
“I admire Thornton and Sutton a great deal more now that I’m aware of what they went through. It’s bloody grueling.”
“Are you allowed to talk about it?”
“Not all of it, but certainly some. Right now, I’m more focused on the physical training, although the mental challenges exhaust me more.” She smiled when she remembered telling Quint that one of her professors at Oxford had said that she lacked intellectual incisiveness and analytical skills. According to her trainers who she admitted as much to, the man had been as far off the mark as she was her first few days at firing practice.
“What’s your favorite part?” True asked, seemingly more intrigued than she’d been earlier.
“The things I’m best at,” Darrow answered, chuckling.
“Like?”
“I’d never known this but, evidently Thornton is known around the intelligence world for his stealth. Part of that is training, but everyone has innate abilities that manifest in a person wanting to become an agent. I’m quite good at that, apparently. And while I was bloody awful at shooting a gun and hadn’t ever done it, in the last two days, I find I’m mastering it quite well.”
“You really do love it,” said True. “It wasn’t just folly.”
“Quint is the one who saw it first. Even when I told him, and myself, that I didn’t have what it took to become an agent, he told me I was wrong. I don’t know for certain, but I suspect that he put a bug in Axel’s ear about endorsing me even before my grand disappearance.”
“He must care for you, Darrow.”
“That’s just it. He told me he cares for me, but he also told me that he wouldn’t ask me to come to Texas. He i
nsisted I pursue becoming an officer, even if it meant we couldn’t ever be together.”
“Surely after you’ve completed training—”
Darrow shook her head. “While I hate the unfair generalization of what I’m about to say, it remains true. It’s harder for female agents to maintain relationships than it is for their male counterparts, especially in MI6. There were years our family rarely saw Thornton. It wasn’t quite as bad with Sutton, but he was MI5. I don’t know how much you know about Quint’s life or family, but he owns a hundred-thousand-acre ranch in Texas.”
“That’s where you went last year.”
“It isn’t something he can walk away from.”
“I’m sorry, Darrow.”
She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Don’t be. It’s my decision, and as I told you before, I have to find out who I am, pursue my dreams, I would be filled with regret if I didn’t, and that wouldn’t contribute to a happy relationship of any kind.”
“I understand. It remains tragic, though.”
“Enough about me. As far as what you’re going through, all I can say is trust Axel, and do whatever he tells you to do,” said Darrow.
“Listen to her.”
When she heard Axel’s voice coming from outside the bedroom, Darrow wondered how much he’d heard. Instead of looking over at him, she studied her friend.
“What?”
“You’ve done the right thing, True. You just need to see it through.”
“I’d forgotten that’s what you used to call her,” said Axel, walking into the room and over to the window. “Why did you?”
“My name means true,” her friend answered.
Darrow jumped up, suddenly feeling like a third wheel. “I haven’t seen Wellie, yet. I think I’ll go do that. I mean, unless there’s something else you need me for, or if I’m not allowed to.”
“What are you going on about?” Pinch asked.
“When are we going back to Monckton?”
“Not until tomorrow.”
She clapped her hands, leaned down, and kissed True’s cheek. She’d hoped he wouldn’t keep her here much longer. As it was, she got enough ribbing about special treatment. Little by little, she was earning the respect of her fellow trainees—men and women she’d work with for the rest of her life. She couldn’t afford to backpedal and have them believe she wasn’t as committed as they were.
Shadow (Military Intelligence Section 6 Book 4) Page 14