“Don’t forget there’s close to a billion pounds on the line, which you won’t get any of if you kill me.”
Darrow motioned with her head for Axel to come to where she stood.
“What was that?” one of the men said when Axel crept over to her.
“Settle the fuck down, Beau. Probably an animal,” said the one who had been insisting they shoot True. “I told you the security systems, as well as the mobile signals, have been scrambled. They’ll never bloody find us.”
“I pulled the starters on all of the vehicles,” said another voice.
“Make a bloody decision whether you want to kill her or keep her alive. We need to get the fuck out of here.”
When Darrow flinched, Axel looked over at her. “He’s got her,” she mouthed, raising her gun and taking aim.
“When you’ve got the shot, bloody take it,” he whispered. She nodded and adjusted her aim while Axel crept around to the building’s entrance.
She ran through her technique in her head. Breathe. Relax. Aim. Slack. Squeeze. With the final word, she fired, and then immediately fired again. Both shots hit their target. The second, hitting the man holding True right between the eyes.
Moments later, Axel, Quint, and Doc burst through the door, firing. The rest of the men inside, fell to the ground.
Darrow crept around the back of the building, over to the other side, checking for anyone else who Quint, Doc, or Axel may have missed.
As she rounded the corner to the entrance, Axel came out with True in his arms.
“How does she seem?” asked Darrow as they waited for Quint to bring the Bummer closer.
“I don’t know yet.”
“I was so bloody scared, Axel. Why did my first kill have to be in order to save the life of my best friend?”
Darrow walked forward to open the vehicle’s door. From inside, Quint took True from Axel’s arms. Once he’d climbed in, Quint gently rested her on Axel’s lap.
When Quint climbed out and wrapped his arms around her, Darrow dissolved into a flood of tears.
“I’m proud of you, my sweet Shadow,” he murmured, holding her tight.
“I was so scared,” she whispered.
“I know you were, but you did what needed to be done. You saved Esland’s life.”
Adrenaline continued to surge through her bloodstream; her heart was pounding; sweat poured off of her, and her senses were overloaded.
“Get in, sweetheart,” said Quint, opening the door and helping Darrow climb onto the front bench seat.
“They knocked her out with something; that’s obvious, I know,” said Doc, pulling out his phone and punching at the screen. “Merrigan says the EMTs are still at the house. They’ll be able to do a more thorough job than I can now.”
When Darrow heard True’s voice, she turned in the seat to look back at her.
“Axel? Where am I?” she asked.
He helped her sit up. “You’re safe, my love. It’s all over.”
True closed her eyes. “What happened? My head is bloody throbbing.”
“Don’t try to talk yet. We’ll be back to the house soon, and there are emergency personnel waiting to look you over.”
“Hodges was in on it,” Darrow heard True say to Axel. “And Pique. I knew better than to trust that bloody bastard.”
Axel nodded and looked up at Darrow.
“What happened to him?” asked True.
“He’s dead, sweetness,” Axel told her.
“I suppose that’s better.”
Darrow’s eyes met her friend’s, and they filled with tears. “I killed him,” she whispered.
“Thank you,” True whispered back, tearing up as well.
36
Q uint held Darrow as she slept, like he had most of the night. When she woke, he did too. When she fell back to sleep, he let himself go with her.
He couldn’t say he knew how she felt; he didn’t. He’d never had to kill another human and hoped to hell he never did. Regardless of whether it was justified, it didn’t matter. Darrow took a life, and that would haunt her.
He brushed her long hair away from her beautiful face, and studied her, trying his damndest to memorize every angle, every line, the sound of her breathing—everything, because soon she’d be gone and he might never see her again.
There’d been too many times to count when he’d thought he might live out his life as a bachelor. He’d been with women he liked well enough, but not for more than a date or two. He couldn’t say he’d even dated half the women he’d had sex with. That was all it had been. But this woman? She was as different as they came. She crawled straight into his heart, and that’s where she’d stay. For the rest of his life, Darrow would be the one he loved and the one who got away.
He leaned down and touched his lips to hers.
“Good morning,” she murmured, kissing him back. “What time is it?”
“A little after ten.”
She held up the sheet. “You’re naked.”
He wrapped his arm around her and grabbed her bottom. “As are you, darlin.”
“Didn’t you ride out this morning?”
“Sure didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
Quint scratched his chin. “I’m curious what you’re sorry for.”
“You stayed with me instead of doing what you needed to do.”
Quint rolled onto his back, bringing Darrow with him. “I’d be perfectly happy stayin’ right here in this bed all damn day.”
“But…”
He shook his head. “Deck can handle whatever needs to be done. He’s got plenty of help.”
Quint reached up and grasped the side of her face with his hand. “Tell me how you’re doing this morning, Darrow.”
“I’m okay,” she told him, resting her body on his so her head was right above his heart.
“Tell me what you need.”
“I don’t know. Nothing, really. Fundamentally, I know that I did what needed to be done.”
“Very pragmatic of you.”
She shrugged. “Maybe it hasn’t hit me yet.”
Quint didn’t need to remind her that she had literally fallen apart in his arms. She might not even remember having done it. As long as she knew he was here for her if she needed him, that was pretty much all he could do.
“I wonder how True is this morning.”
“Probably a lot like you are. Still in shock to a certain extent.”
“I should talk to her.”
Quint nodded. “This first, though.” He put his fingertips on her chin and leaned down to kiss her.
Darrow shifted her weight and sat up so she was straddling his stomach. With both hands on her waist, he lifted her up and then brought her back down on his hardness. Darrow’s eyes met his.
“This is you, baby. Take what you need,” he said. “Fast, slow, deep, hard—whatever feels good, Darrow.”
She rested her hands on his chest and let her body set their rhythm. Quint reached up and covered her breasts with his hands, alternating running the tip of his finger around the areola, and pinching her nipples. She closed her eyes, threw her head back, curved her body, and quickened her pace. All the while, Quint watched every move she made, again trying to memorize everything he could about her.
“Quint,” she groaned.
“Come on, baby, give it to me.”
She opened her eyes and gazed into his when he felt her tightening on him, and he nodded. “Come with me, Darrow.”
When she fell against him, Quint wrapped his arms around her. He could feel her tears on his chest and tightened his grip.
“I don’t want to leave,” she whispered.
“I know you don’t.”
“But I have to.”
Quint nodded. “I know that too.”
37
Darrow stood at the bedroom door and knocked.
“Come in,” True responded.
“Am I intruding?” she asked as Axel walked toward her.
“Yes,” he said at the same time True said no.
“I have some phone calls to make,” Axel said as Darrow walked past him over to where True sat.
“Don’t leave on my account,” teased Darrow when he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.
“Are you okay?” True asked when she sat down on the bed.
“Me?” said Darrow. “I wasn’t the one kidnapped.”
“No, but you were the one who had to kill a man last night. I don’t know how to thank you for saving my life.”
“I’m okay, True. I promise.”
“Merrigan told me you were struggling and that you were with Quint.”
“I was with Quint.” Darrow winked. “And you know I’m not a morning person. Since he was willing to sleep in, so did I.”
“I’m happy for you, Darrow.”
“I appreciate that, True, but don’t forget what I told you when we talked at the abbey.”
True nodded.
“Plus, I’m leaving with Doc and Merrigan tomorrow.”
“You are?”
“I’m training with—get this—Leech Hess and Burns Butler.”
It wasn’t a surprise that True had no idea who they were, Darrow hadn’t until recently. When she told her a little bit about them, Darrow saw her friend’s eyes light up.
“You should interview them and write a book.”
True’s eyes scrunched. “Wouldn’t most everything be classified?”
“Maybe, but you could always make them into fictional characters.”
“Good idea,” she said as if she was mulling over the idea.
“When are you returning to England?” Darrow asked.
“When it’s safe, I suppose. I believe Axel is talking to Z now. Um…”
“What?”
“Darrow, I don’t know how to thank you for what you did, but more importantly, I want you to know that I admire you more than I’d ever admired anyone.”
“More than Merrigan?” Darrow asked with a wink.
“Far more than Merrigan,” True answered. “If you hadn’t had the balls to follow your dreams, do you realize I’d be dead right now?”
“That isn’t true…True.” They both laughed. “There was a team.”
Her friend shook her head. “I’m letting you off on a humble hook. You saved my bloody life, and I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Be happy. That’s how you can thank me. You and Axel, be happy.”
Darrow’s eyes filled with tears. There was so much more she wanted to say, but she couldn’t say a word of it.
Be happy because I can’t. Be happy because I made the choice to follow this dream, which means I’ll never have what you have.
“I want you to be happy too.”
Darrow got up and walked to the bedroom door. “Some of us can’t have both, True,” she said before walking out and closing it behind her.
QUINT WAS SITTING at the dining table when Darrow came out, True following behind her. When their eyes met, he stood and held out his hand.
“Let’s go for a ride.”
“I’d love that,” she said, putting her hand in his.
“Darrow, wait,” said Axel.
She shook her head and kept walking. Whatever he had to say, she couldn’t hear right now. It wasn’t that she was jealous of True and Axel as much as she was jealous that they were walking into a new life that they would share together while tomorrow she’d be walking away alone.
“They’re leaving,” Quint said once they were in the barn.
“Okay.”
He came over and cupped her cheek with his palm. “And so are you.”
She took a step back, and Quint dropped his hand.
“Just for tonight, could we pretend I’m not leaving?”
“Sure we can. Tell me what you want to do.”
“I want to ride, and then I want to go to the Branch and eat a massive t-bone, and then I want to dance until I can’t stand having your body grind against mine without both of us being naked, and then I want to come back here and have sex until I can’t walk.”
“I think I can handle all of that.”
“You’re the only man I know who can, Quint.”
“Let’s do this, Shadow. Let’s have a night that neither of us will ever forget.”
She studied the man who held her heart, the man she loved like she’d never loved anyone else, and the man who, after tomorrow, she may never see again. If he was willing to make this a night they’d never forget, so was she.
“I THOUGHT WE WERE SLEEPING IN,” Darrow groaned the next morning when she opened her eyes and saw Quint was awake. She covered her eyes against the sunrise with her forearm, and when she did, he leaned down and laved her nipple.
“God, Quint.” Darrow’s groaned as she held his head to her breast.
“Are you sore, baby?” he asked, moving one hand lower until it rested on her sex.
She shook her head.
“Not good enough. Let me hear the words.”
She pushed him onto his back and nipped at his neck before trailing her lips down his body.
“Shadow,” he scolded.
“I’m leaving today, Quint. If I’m sore, I’ll recover.”
“Come here,” he said, pulling her up the front of his body so her chin rested on his sternum. “Let’s shower.”
“Showering means getting out of bed.”
He rolled so she was under him, and then stood. “You have an early flight out.”
“I do, which is why I don’t want to waste time now.”
“I like the idea of leaving you wanting more,” he said as he walked naked from the bed into the bathroom.
She didn’t follow. She couldn’t. If she showered with him, it would be the last time she did. If they made love, it would be the last time they did that too. Even waking up in each other’s arms—that was for the last time. She rolled over and put the pillow over her head, wishing for the millionth time that Quint would ask her to stay here with him. She knew he wouldn’t, but that didn’t stop her from wishing it.
Why had she agreed to leave with Doc and Merrigan today? Because if she hadn’t, she’d be flying back to England rather than just out to California. At least, by continuing her training on the Central Coast, there was a possibility Quint might come to visit her.
He came out of the bathroom and put on a pair of jeans, but didn’t button the fly all the way.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do for you, cowboy?”
“You know I can’t get enough of you, Shadow,” he groaned, letting his jeans slide back down. “Like what you see, darlin’?” he teased when Darrow licked her lips.
Quint kissed the back of her hand and slid in next to her. He put his arm around her, and Darrow rested her head on his chest.
“This is a great opportunity for you, Shadow. I remember hearing stories about Burns Butler and Leech Hess from my pa.”
“Yes, you’re right. It is quite the opportunity,” she said a few minutes later after she’d gotten lost in thought.
“Go out and grab your dreams, Shadow. Don’t tell me to ask you to stay.”
“I don’t know when I’ll ever be back,” she said, her eyes filling with tears.
“So be it, darlin’.”
“That’s it? What will be, will be?”
“What if we never see one another again?”
“Like I said, Darrow. So be it.”
She rolled away from him. “I thought I mattered to you.”
Before she realized what was happening, she was on her back and Quint was on top of her.
“You do matter to me.”
When she tried to look away, Quint put his fingertips on her chin and turned her head back so they were face to face. He captured her mouth with his, kissing her so hard and so deeply that it hurt. She felt his hardness against her, and then with one thrust, he buried himself in her heat, pounding into her. Instead of pushing them both into climax
, he slowed his movement until he stopped. He stared at her so intently, she wanted to turn her head again, but she didn’t. Her eyes met his and she waited. “Letting you go is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t have a choice. You have to follow your dreams, Darrow.”
“Leaving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
WHEN QUINT WENT OUT to the barn, Darrow told him she’d be right behind him. Instead, she went looking for Merrigan, who she found sitting at the dining room table.
“Can we chat for a minute?” she asked.
“Of course.” Merrigan motioned for her to take a seat.
“I’d rather do it somewhere we won’t be interrupted.”
“Very well,” said Merrigan, following Darrow to the front porch.
“There is no easy way to say this, and I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you and Doc offered me, but I can’t accept it. I’m returning to the UK.”
“I see. When did this come about?”
“Just now.”
Merrigan’s eyes scrunched as she studied her. “I don’t see this as a wise decision on your part, but it is your life.”
“I appreciate you respecting my decision.”
“Certainly and, Darrow, if you ever change your mind, the offer to train with K19 will remain open.”
Darrow’s heart ached, not just with Merrigan’s evident disappointment in her, but with her realization that Quint was, in fact, letting her go. It didn’t matter that she’d be training in the States, when she told him she was afraid she’d never return to the ranch, he’d been nonchalant in his response.
“So be it,” he’d said. He had admitted he cared about her, but nothing more. The last words he’d said only reiterated that he had no choice but to let her go.
Darrow stood and walked back into the house. She picked up her mobile and searched for flights out later that morning. There was one she could make if she left within the hour.
38
Q uint was too stunned to speak; he just stared at Darrow.
“It’s for the best,” she said.
Shadow (Military Intelligence Section 6 Book 4) Page 18