“Not want necessarily, but it showed me a different kind of world.”
She felt the weight of his words, the darkness there too. “It was hard for you growing up?”
His gaze went distant, far away from them. “Hard for me, no. But it hardened me, yes. My mother is a cold woman. Not horrible in any means, just cold. I was raised by nannies, who quit often. My mother and I are not close and talk only a few times a year.”
“And your father?”
“I feel closer to the man who bought my company off me than I do my father.”
She swallowed deeply, suddenly realizing why Miles put in so much effort in trying to come see her, where other men would have given up. It didn’t take much to realize he hadn’t felt much for any women, and he liked her. She liked him too. And maybe…just maybe…he’d never felt that before. “Well, I think it’s great that you’re on this new adventure, searching for what makes you happy.”
He gave her a sweet smile, brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “Do you?”
She gave a firm nod. “You deserve all the happiness, Miles. Truly.” And she meant that.
Something crossed his expression then. Something warm and addictive and something that could swallow a woman up whole, making her forget the world could be a hard place. He leaned up, hovering over her, and before he kissed her, he said, “I’m not the only one, Liv.”
CHAPTER 10
Two days had flown by. Too damn fast. There were no more ports to stop at, no more adventures, only open sea for the last two days and the awareness that Miles’s time with Liv was running out. Change had come on the final days of the cruise, and not only for Miles and Liv. Two of Liv’s friends jumped ship. Kendall had a family emergency, and Aubrey had decided not to come back aboard the cruise before departing Nassau. Miles felt like doing the same damn thing. The next stage of his life would be decided soon, and he felt the weight of that sitting heavy on his chest.
Either he’d stick around in Vegas a little longer, with the intent of going back and forth to California getting to know Liv better, or he’d leave for his next adventure to find the thing that was missing from his life. Even now, as he guided Liv across the dancefloor on their final night of this adventure, his lips brushing across her neck, she felt like the missing piece. He sensed this the day he met her, and he sensed it now too. He barely understood it, and such a thing seemed impossible to explain to a woman who refused to let fate guide her way.
Conflicted on where to go from here, he placed a final kiss on the sweet spot on her neck, loving the way she leaned into him. The slow, instrumental music in the ballroom came from the four-piece band on the stage. Large crystal chandeliers hung over the wooden, oval dancefloor surrounded by tables covered in black linens. While the room was elegant, Liv was all Miles could see now.
She cocked her head, laughed softly. “You’re looking at me funny. What is it?”
His chest tightened. He’d been careful so far, not wanting to push too hard, too fast. Not wanting to come on too strong, hoping, praying even, that she’d see this thing between them was magical and rare and something they needed to chase. But tomorrow was coming up quick. “I wish we had longer,” he told her. “I don’t want this…us…to end.”
He expected her to shut him down. But she surprised him. “I wish we had longer too,” she whispered.
His feet stopped moving, the air nearly gone from his lungs. “I admit, I wasn’t expecting that answer.”
He began dancing again, moving them slowly, needing to see every emotion crossing her face.
“I admit I wasn’t expecting to say it.” Her cheeks began losing a little of their color, her hand becoming clammy in his. “But now it’s out there, and I don’t really know what to do with that.”
It seemed simple to him. “Probably be happy we’ve found something pretty great.”
Darkness settled over her face, hardness too. “Or have we just made things even more impossible than they were before?”
The others in the room faded away. His entire world narrowing on her. “How can this be impossible, Liv? This is good between us. So damn good. Nothing is impossible.”
She held his stare for a long time. “I really don’t understand how you’re so sure about…well, me. About us. Why are you so invested in seeing where this goes?”
Heat touched her gaze when he leaned in and claimed her mouth, passionately kissing her, putting all of what he felt, what couldn’t possibly be explained, into the kiss. “Because of that,” he murmured, brushing his lips across hers. “That feeling. That spark. I don’t need months to date you to know that there is something incredible here. I knew this thing between us was different the day I met you.”
He saw the flicker of emotion in her eyes, the tears welling there before she tore her hand from his and stepped back. “I…I need some air.” Then she was gone, her slinky black satin dress swirling around her as she headed for the deck.
He had no choice but to follow. The same instincts that drove him to come on this cruise drove him now. She entranced him, commanded him in a way no one had before her, and he doubted any woman would after her. Even in this moment, the bare skin exposed by the dress’s low cut back called for his mouth, his kiss.
Mine echoed in his soul.
Once outside, the soft lighting illuminated her in the dark night as she moved to the railing at the bow of the ship. Her deep breaths were visible as she stared out to the dark water, her shoulders rising and falling as the strands of hair that escaped her bun fluttered in the breeze.
He closed the distance and when she leaned back against him, he knew pushing now was the right thing to do. He dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She turned. The tears in her eyes felt like a punch to the throat. “You have to understand that I promised myself I would never let this happen again. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t ever date someone when it doesn’t make sense. I know you think that is silly. I know everyone thinks that is silly. That I need to get over my hang-ups. But I know myself, and I remember the feeling of wanting to die, of not seeing the joy in anything, of forgetting I’m special and important without a man.” Her voice blistered, her hair fluttering around her face in the breeze. “Gavin broke me, Miles. Broke me until I was nothing. I can’t be broken again.”
Fuck, he’d destroy Gavin if he met him. Miles’s grip tightened, wanting desperately to protect her. He cupped her face. “I don’t think you’re silly, Liv. You’re scared, and rightfully so. But I would never break you.”
A tear slid down her face. “That’s not something you can promise. Neither of us can. No matter how much I like you, our lives are states apart. That’s the reality here. I can’t move. Do you understand that? My mother needs me. Even if we made this long-distance thing work and then decided to get married, I can never move for you. Ever, Miles. You’ll have to leave your life behind in Vegas, and how is that fair?”
“Because that’s my choice, Liv, and I’d make it.”
She heaved a long sigh. “Of course, you can say that now, but will it be so easy when the time actually comes to do it?”
He looked her dead in the eye. “Yes, it will, because I’m not talking about moving later. I’ll move now.”
Her eyes widened. Lips parted then shut. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
He slid his hand into her hair, feeling the connection with her that locked him in tight. “But I do.”
“But your friends and the club,” she countered. “You even said it yourself. They’re your found family. How could I ask you to leave them behind?”
He pinned her between the railing and his body, caging what he so desperately wanted to hold onto. “You wouldn’t be asking. I’m offering. Dmitri can easily find someone to run the nightclub. And my friends would understand.”
She hesitated. “You’ll get bored of me.”
He couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped him. “How could I possibly get b
ored of you?”
“I don’t usually have wild sex. I can’t be the submissive you need.”
“Of course, I understand why that scares you.” He tucked the fallen strands of her hair behind her ear. “But it’s impossible that I would grow bored of you, and like I said before, I wanted this chance to see if our connection stalled or grew. And for me, it grew. These days with you have been amazing. I want more time together.”
The doubt slowly left her face. “You’d do that? Move to San Francisco just to see where we end up. Just like that?”
He gave a firm nod. “For this…for us to see where this goes…yeah, Liv, just like that.” He cupped her cheek again, laying it all on the line now. “I know you’re scared to take a risk. I understand why, and if my moving to San Francisco helps you shed those fears, then I’ll move. It’s that simple, Liv. I want this. I want you.”
Tears filled her eyes, her voice nearly inaudible, as she cupped her face. “Miles…” And then she did what he least expected.
Her lips met his, and he couldn’t think after that, couldn’t do anything but grab her legs as she wrapped them around his waist. Her kiss felt raw, the guards she’d had in place were gone. She gripped his shirt, holding him to her. “I need you, Liv,” he said, breaking off the kiss.
Her hooded eyes met his, so rich with emotion. “I need you too.”
The words echoed through him the entire way back to his cabin. The moment he had her alone, he slid his fingers through the straps of her dress until the flimsy fabric brushed over her bare nipples and fell to the floor. She wore little black panties which he went down on one knee to remove. He kissed her thigh, and he knew just what she wanted when her hands slid through his hair. And as he leaned in, smelling her, drawing her sweet scent in deep, he knew what was on the line. One misstep with her and everything would unravel. He felt the tension ripple through him. Her heart had been too bruised, too battered, and he realized the responsibility of that. The trust she needed. “I won’t hurt you, Liv,” he promised, glancing up her eager body.
“Please…” Deep emotion flashed in her eyes as she guided him toward her sex.
His tongue met soft, hot flesh, and she quivered, a soft moan spilling from her mouth as he gently tongued her heat. He played, and teased, until those moans grew louder. When he dipped lower, tasting all of her, urgency filled him.
She tasted like his. Eventually, he kissed his way back up her body and took one taut nipple into his mouth and pinched the other hard. She hissed beautifully and he grinned, tonguing the saltiness off her flesh and then made his way back to her mouth. She was a hot, boneless mess when he cupped her ass, bringing all her warm flesh against his clothed hard body. “Go to the bed,” he told her, leaning away. “Get on your knees for me.”
He watched as she did as he asked. In seconds, he shed his clothes and applied a condom.
The softness of her curves drew him forward to stand behind her. This woman who changed so much this week had him hard and ready, wanting everything from her. And then wanting it again. And again. Heat and tension filled him as he covered her with his body, claiming what had felt like his from the moment he set his eyes on her. He liked her here, protected. Safe from the fucked-up world that hurt her. Desperate to have more of her, he slid a hand down to her sex, sliding his fingers through her soaking wet folds before he worked her clit in slow circles. Her moans echoed around him, telling him just what she wanted. “I’ll give you everything you need. Anything you want.” He held his hard cock in one hand and her hip in the other and then he entered her. Slowly. She took every inch, and he wanted her to feel those inches. To feel all of him.
He brought her back to his chest, holding him to her. Protected. Nothing could touch her here, while he rocked his hips, hard and fast. She felt handmade just for him, her body hugging his perfectly with every stroke. Her moans the sweetest sound he’d ever heard, driving him wild all the same.
Soon her body submitted to the desire he fed. Her fingernails dug into his thighs, her body became ridged, before she exploded with a scream and a hard shudder. Locked in his embrace, the power of his climax stormed over him. But another need took over, a primal one, a feeling more powerful than anything he’d ever felt before. “You’re mine,” he growled in her ear, loving the answering moan she gave. “All mine, Liv.”
CHAPTER 11
The clock on the nightstand glowed one o’clock in the morning when Liv jolted awake. She glanced over her shoulder, finding Miles wasn’t in bed with her. She sat up, taking stock. The cabin was quiet as she lay naked in the bed. She was sore in all the right places. But raw in others. These days with Miles were magical, special in ways she never would have believed possible. She felt entirely different now than she had when she’d stepped on this cruise. She’d come to give herself a break from her life. Now she realized maybe it wasn’t a break she needed, but a complete change. She envied that about Miles so much. How he was willing to pick up and move to go after what he wanted all because it felt right. For so long, she’d been afraid to trust herself and her judgment, thinking that she’d always get everything wrong. Truth was, she didn’t want to be afraid anymore. She wanted to be this exciting new woman who went after adventures and things that made her happy. Why couldn’t this be her life? Wild and free and…happy.
The light in the bathroom was turned off, but the balcony door was open, and laughter came from the other side. Curious, she slid out of bed, careful to stay quiet, and moved closer to the door when she caught an unfamiliar feminine voice.
“We can’t wait for you to come home,” the woman said. “The nightclub has been…well, they need you,” she said with a soft laugh. “And the dungeon just isn’t the same without you there.”
“I’ll be home before you know it,” Miles replied, his voice sounding sleepy and deep. Incredibly sexy. “And not to worry, we’ll get the nightclub back in shape.”
But the nightclub was fine without him, at least that’s how Miles had made it seem. They didn’t need him, he had said.
Liv reeled at the thought, as a woman said, “I’ve got no doubt you will. So enough about that, how about we stop talking about us and start talking about you and Liv? Tell me every single adventure you’ve had. All the details. I need to live vicariously through you.”
Miles chuckled softly, and then he began explaining everything they’d done on their trip, finishing up with the Sexy Scavenger Hunt. Of course, he skimmed over the details without spilling all their secrets.
“A sexy scavenger hunt,” a man said, his voice full of intrigue. “We should do something of that sort in the dungeon. The members would like that.”
“I’m in,” the woman said. Her voice lost some of its heat as she added, obviously to Miles, “It sounds like things are going well with Liv then.”
Liv could almost see his nod as he replied, “We’re moving in the right direction. Everywhere we’ve stopped has been romantic and beautiful. It’s very easy to get swept away in the moment.”
Liv felt her throat tighten. Her heart slowly began to speed up. It was easy to get lost, and she suddenly realized just how easily she’d been swept away. All of this had been a magical fantasy she never wanted to wake up from. But she’d seen the other side of when fate led the way, the painful parts. The parts that crushed her so she didn’t even look like herself anymore.
“So, then, this Liv really is as special as you thought?” the woman asked.
This time, Miles didn’t hesitate. “More so than I could have even imagined.”
“Amazing news,” a man said. “Any talk on what will happen tomorrow?”
Liv couldn’t stand it any longer. She peeked around the curtain. Miles had his back to her, with his ankles resting up on the railing. A quick look at the phone and Liv recognized them as Dmitri and his wife Presley, who she’d met at the wedding.
She moved away quickly to remain unseen as Miles replied, “We’ve chatted a little bit, but nothing is set in stone.”
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The world spun around Liv as Miles added gently, “She’s been hurt before and is very logical about all this. The long-distance thing is a problem, and I’m well aware of that.”
Presley snorted. “Just because you live in two different states doesn’t mean you can’t make it work. People do it all the time. You can go visit her on the weekends, or she can come see us. Totally doable.”
Miles paused like he was choosing his words carefully. “I’ve offered to move to San Francisco.”
Stunned silence sank into the darkness. The type of silence that instantly made Liv go ice cold.
Even Liv felt the weight of Dmitri’s shock when he asked, “You are that sure about her?”
Miles let out a long slow breath. “What I feel for her hasn’t dulled. If anything, it’s more intense now than before. I’d be a damn fool not to see where we end up.”
“But you’d be moving away from all of us,” Presley said, tears in her voice. “Your job. Your family here. We all need you, Miles.”
“Presley,” Dmitri said firmly.
“Well, it’s true,” she said, her voice quivering.
“I know this is hard, Presley,” Miles murmured. “I haven’t made this decision lightly.”
Liv shut her eyes, barely able to breathe. No, no. no. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. He made it seem easy. That moving to San Fran was the right thing to do. But how was this the right thing?
Presley sniffed and asked, “Why can’t she move to Vegas?”
“Liv’s very close to her family. Her mother has MS. Obviously, leaving her would be hard, and I won’t ask her to.” He hesitated. “Like I said, she’s been hurt before. Trusting anyone is understandably hard, and to see where this goes, I need to take this leap of faith to show her I’m all in.”
The room began to swallow Liv up. He said his friends would understand. That he’d been searching for something missing in his life. How was this good for anyone? His friends would miss him. He was needed at the club. They had no idea if this could work between them. If she could even be what he needed. He was a Dominant at a sex club. Sure, she’d had fun, but she wasn’t sure she could go up on a stage like that woman or kneel at his feet.
Loving Liv Page 10