by Chris Cannon
“You can’t avoid Jane for the rest of your life to make Lisa happy. She needs to get over it.”
“Any idea on how I can say that in a way that won’t piss her off?”
“No.” He clapped me on the arm. “Good luck with that.”
“Thanks.” I had until lunch to come up with what I wanted to say to Lisa. How could I fix this? I may have been a little too quick to rush to Jane’s aid, but that didn’t mean Lisa wasn’t overreacting. But…I probably shouldn’t lead with that.
Lisa sat at our lunch table staring at her phone. Did she plan to ignore me? I wasn’t going anywhere so she’d have to talk to me eventually. I pulled out a chair and sat down.
“If you think I’ll go away if you ignore me, you’re wrong.”
“Stalk much?” she muttered.
“Funny.” I took out my sandwich. “I see Jane as a friend. I see you as girlfriend material. Those are two different things.”
“We’re not doing this here,” Lisa said. Her voice broke, like she was trying not to cry.
Shit. I set my sandwich down and reached over to touch her hand. “I’m sorry this upset you. There’s no reason to be upset.”
“Do you feel inferior to Trey?” she asked out of nowhere.
“No. We’re two different kinds of people.”
“Jane and I are both funny and smart, but she’s blonde and quirky and I could bleach my hair but I’ll never do a cute little bounce thing when I’m excited. I’ll never be as cool as Jane.”
“You’re cool in your own quirky nerd-girl way. You make me laugh. I like you. Why isn’t that enough?”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lisa
Maybe it should be, but it wasn’t. My dad hadn’t wanted me. And maybe that was the root of my insecurities. Who knew? But seeing Matt light up around Jane made me realize he didn’t act that way around me.
“I deserve someone who looks at me the way you looked at her,” I said.
Matt reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. “She might make me laugh, but I wouldn’t watch Harry Potter movies for her.”
“So you don’t actually like Harry Potter? You were just pretending?”
He opened his mouth to speak and then stopped. After a deep breath he said, “I had a crush on Jane. You came along and made me forget about her. Even if she was single right now, I’d choose you. I don’t want to kiss her. I want to kiss you.”
His words were sweet, but they didn’t ring true. “I call bullshit on that statement.”
“Listen. Jane will always be around because she’s my sister’s best friend. I can’t change that. I won’t go out of my way to spend time with her, but I shouldn’t have to apologize for talking to her.”
His rational argument didn’t change the way I felt. “How do I know you’re not just waiting around for when she’s available?”
“Did you see the way she and Nathan act around each other?” Matt said. “They aren’t going to be breaking up anytime soon. Even if they did, I’d choose you. That has to count for something. Right?”
Okay. He sounded sincere. Things had been going so well between us. I’d trusted Matt. Trusted that he’d always be there for me. And then he’d dropped my hand and rushed to her side.
“I need some time to think,” I said.
Matt leaned back in his chair. “Here’s something for you to think about. My crush on Jane is in the past tense. I chose you over her. You still have a thing for Trey. I’m not freaking out about him because I trust you. Why don’t you trust me?”
He wanted to throw Trey in my face? Fine. “You know what? I think this experiment has gone on long enough.”
“You’re still thinking of us as an experiment?” Now he sounded mad.
“Honestly, I don’t know what we’re doing anymore.”
“I think it’s called dating,” he said. “At least that’s how I saw it.”
How I felt about Jane may not be rational, but I didn’t know how to shut the emotions off. I’d never been into self-pity. I dealt with life as it came along. For some reason, this was messing with my head. “Matt, I know I’m being weird about this. I just need a little time to think. Can you give me that?”
“Can you not be mad at me while you think?” He reached over and put his hand on my forearm.
I managed a small smile. “I will try.”
“Can we still meet up for pizza after you buy out the bookstore tonight?”
I nodded.
“Am I crazy?” I asked Nina in the girls’ locker room as we changed into our gym clothes.
“You’ll have to be more specific,” Nina said.
I stuck my tongue out at her. “About Matt. Am I overreacting because I’m insecure that I’ll never live up to a certain standard?”
“You mean the standard of the person who isn’t you, that he doesn’t want to date?” Nina asked.
“Thanks for the sarcasm. Now knock it off and help me fix my brain.”
“Fine. Matt may smile at another girl, but he’s meeting you for pizza. I think that tells you all you need to know.”
“Are you and Matt fighting?” Clarissa asked. She’d walked up behind me.
“Sort of,” I said.
“Maybe you two were better off as friends,” Clarissa said.
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“You’ve been less happy,” she said. “And I feel like a terrible person, and you can never mention this to Charlie, but if you and Matt broke up I know someone who might ask you out.”
“Trey?” I couldn’t believe this.
She nodded. “Should I not have told you?”
“It’s better she knows,” Nina said. “This way she has options.”
Hello, irony. This was playing out how Nina had joked it might. I could pick who I wanted to be with. There was one problem. How did I know if I wanted to be with Trey unless I went on a date with him? How could I go on a date with him without hurting Matt’s feelings?
The gym teacher blew his whistle so we hustled out into the gymnasium for roll call.
“Today we are starting our unit on square dancing,” he announced with almost perverse glee.
“Shoot me now,” I muttered to Nina.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Matt
After school, I waited at our lockers to meet Lisa so I could give her a ride home. I still wasn’t sure where I stood with her. Right now I was grateful she’d agreed to keep our date tonight. I had a feeling in my gut something wasn’t right. And I had no idea how to fix it.
When she came toward me down the hall, her smile was a little dim, but she looked better than she had at lunch. I was wracking my brain trying to come up with something to show her that she was the one. That I liked her and all of her nerdy, bookish ways.
She stopped walking mid-stride and turned around. Someone must have called her name. She backtracked and disappeared from view. Where’d she go? I headed toward her and spotted her talking to Trey. My first instinct was to storm over there. But I’d told her I trusted her. And I did, but I didn’t trust him. Had he heard we were fighting and come to see if he could snake his way between us? I ground my teeth and stalked back to our lockers, pretending nothing was wrong.
When she came to meet me, her smile was gone. What did that mean?
“Hey,” she said, not quite meeting my gaze. “I’m going to ride over to Nina’s house with her and West.”
“I can give you a ride.” I did not like where this was going.
“No. I think Nina and I are going to stay in and have a girls’ night.”
“Why can’t you look at me?”
She raised her gaze to mine. What was that in her eyes…guilt?
“Are you still my friend?” she asked.
A cold feeling settled in my stomach like I’d eaten a bag of ice. “I’d like to think I’m more than that.”
“We made a deal as friends, that we’d date, and then break up.”
And that’s when I got
it. “You want to break things off with me so you can date Trey.”
“That doesn’t make me a bad person,” she said. “It’s what we agreed on.”
She was right. That was the deal, but I’d changed my mind. Now what? There had to be a way to save this.
I knew Trey wouldn’t be into her Harry Potter nerd-girl themed life. How could I outsmart them both? “I remember agreeing to show you that I was the one you should date.” Before she could argue, I said, “And our deal was supposed to last one more week.”
“It was,” she said.
“But you’re just going to be counting down the days until you can go out with Trey,” I said. “So why don’t we change the deal? We don’t have to be exclusive. I mean I won’t be dating anyone else while you figure out what you want, but you can go on a date with Trey.”
“You’re being strangely reasonable about this,” she said. “If you were doing this to me, I’d be pissed.”
I laughed. “You have no idea how badly I want to track Trey down and break his nose, but I’m not going to do that because I know in the end you’ll make the right choice. So I can deal with it for now. Are we still on for pizza tonight?”
“I guess so,” she said.
“Okay.” I could leave her to ride home with Nina but that might give Trey an opening to talk to her and I didn’t want him getting any closer today. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride to Nina’s.”
I didn’t give her a chance to argue; I just started walking and hoped she’d come with me. I wanted to hold her hand or put my arm around her shoulders but if Trey was watching it should look like things were a little off between us…like we might be breaking up. I needed him to get a false sense of self-confidence going so I could trip him up in the end.
After dropping Lisa off at Nina’s, I drove home, trying to figure out the best way to handle this situation. Jane and Haley were sitting in the kitchen when I walked in. The way they stopped talking made me suspicious.
“Were you talking about me?” I asked.
“Indirectly,” Haley said. “We heard that you and Lisa weren’t getting along.”
I could use their help in this little conspiracy, so maybe it was time for me to come clean. “Here’s the deal. When Lisa and I were just friends, I told her that I used to have a crush on Jane.”
“What?” Haley and Jane shouted in unison.
I could feel my face heating up. “I know it’s weird. But it’s in the past.”
“Okay,” Jane said.
“Thanks for sharing the awkward,” Haley chimed in.
“I’m only telling you because this morning, Jane stopped to talk to me about something.” I wasn’t going to give Jane’s party idea away. “And Lisa was there, and she got the crazy idea I was still interested in Jane.”
“You’re not…right?” Jane said.
“No. You are firmly in the sister category.”
“Good,” Jane said. Then her cheeks colored. “Not that you aren’t a great guy but—”
“It’s okay,” I said.
“So I made Lisa jealous?” Jane said. “But she saw me with Nathan.”
“I know, but she thinks you’re cool and she calls herself a nerd-girl and I think you intimidate her.”
“I could talk to her,” Jane offered.
“Not a good idea,” Haley said. “Coming from someone who has had their share of insecurities, your self-assured blondness would just make it worse.”
“Oh,” said Jane.
“You guys might be able to help in another way.” I sat down at the table with them. “Instead of breaking up, I told her we didn’t have to be exclusive. I know Trey likes her and he’s probably going to ask her out.”
“Clarissa’s cousin?” Haley said. “Does Clarissa know?”
“That is not a road I want to go down. I don’t want to mess up Charlie’s relationship. I kind of want Trey to ask her out so she can see that she should be with me, not him.”
“That could backfire,” Haley said.
I glared at her. “That’s the point. I need to come up with something to show Lisa I like her nerdy side. I don’t care that she isn’t cool. I like that she’s into books.”
“There’s lots of Harry Potter stuff out there,” Haley said.
Exactly what I’d been thinking. “Lisa and Nina are going to the bookstore tonight. I know they have Harry Potter bags there. Can you go by and pick one up for me?”
Haley pulled out her cell phone. “Let’s check out the bookstore website so we can see what they have.”
Ten minutes later, I had picked out and purchased a book bag, a Hermione pen shaped like a wand, a Gryffindor notebook, and several pairs of Harry Potter socks which would be ready for pickup in the store in half an hour.
“She wears Harry Potter socks?” Jane said like she was slightly horrified by the idea.
“Yes.” I grinned. “She does.”
“Do you wear Harry Potter socks?” Jane asked.
I laughed. “No. I don’t.”
“Would you wear them if you had them?” Haley asked. “’Cause I could pick up a pair for you.”
“No thanks,” I said. “Just stick to the plan.”
“That’s not nearly as much fun, but okay.” Haley stood and stretched. “We can run and pick your stuff up now.”
“Thanks.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Lisa
I sat in Nina’s kitchen nursing a cup of hot cocoa while we dissected everything Matt had said.
“Doesn’t it seem like he gave in too easy?” I asked.
“Well, I think he really does like you as a friend and as a girlfriend and he’s trying to do the right thing,” Nina said.
I frowned into my cocoa.
“What? You wanted him to argue with you?” Nina said. “Because you can’t have it both ways. Either he gives you room to see what you really want, or he argues and tries to change your mind.”
I watched the marshmallows melt in the brown liquid. “I guess he’s kind of doing both, isn’t he? He insists that he is the right guy for me but he’s willing to let me figure that out for myself.”
“So he’s being a good friend,” Nina said. “Which is really mature, or suspicious. He must really believe you and Trey won’t hit it off.”
“He thinks Trey won’t be into my nerdy side,” I said.
“If he doesn’t like Harry Potter, he’s out,” Nina said. “Best friends don’t let best friends date anti-Potter people.”
My cell dinged with a text. I glanced at it, assuming it was my mom or Matt. It was Trey. Crap. I hadn’t expected to hear from him so quickly. I’d told him Matt and I were going through a rough patch and he’d said to let him know when I was available.
His text said, Are you free Saturday night?
I showed the text to Nina. “Now what?”
“It’s your decision. You could go out with him next weekend.”
“I won’t stop thinking about it until I know.” I texted back. Maybe. What’s up?
He sent me a link to a band playing at a local restaurant. Music and food?
I showed Nina. “What do you think?”
“It could be fun.”
I texted back. Okay.
Are you still with Matt?
I texted back. Not exclusive.
It’s a start.
I turned my phone off. “Why do I feel guilty?”
“Because Trey and Matt are both good guys,” Nina said. “But it’s not like you’re lying to anyone. Everyone knows what’s going on. You might not even like Trey.”
“I’m ready to hit the bookstore,” I said. “Maybe I’ll buy myself that Harry Potter bag so I’ll feel better.”
“Retail therapy is always a fun idea.”
When we reached the bookstore, the Harry Potter bag I’d liked was gone. A few of the others were cute, but none of them really worked for me. I went up to the woman behind the checkout counter. “Do you have any more of those Harry Potter mailb
ags?”
She pulled something up on her computer screen. “Sorry. Someone bought the last one about five minutes ago. I could send for one from another store.”
“No thanks.”
“You could order it online,” Nina said as I stood there pouting.
“No. If I was meant to have it, it would still be here.”
“Now you have more money to spend on books,” she added.
“I guess that’s a good way to look at it.” The giant buy-one-get-one-free sign over the clearance section called out to me. I could always count on books to make me feel better.
The staff must have rearranged the sections because where I normally found young adult urban fantasy, I was confronted with self-help books.
How to Tell if He’s the One was next to Dating for Dummies. I pointed at the books. “It feels like the universe is mocking me.”
Nina grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the young adult section. “That’s not the universe. It’s the bookstore manager’s way to get you to look at books you might not normally buy.”
Forty-five minutes later, I was the proud owner of four new books. The world seemed like a brighter place. My bookworm high lasted until we walked out to Nina’s car and then my palms started to sweat.
“What am I going to say to Matt?” No matter how fair this supposedly was I felt like a jerk.
“Whatever you’d normally say to him. Nothing between you two has to change.”
I snorted and looked out the window.
“Seriously,” Nina said. “He agreed to seeing other people. Everything is above board here. Just act like you would on a normal date.”
“Normal is not my area of expertise,” I muttered.
Matt and West already had a table at The Slicery.
“Find any good books?” Matt asked when I sat next to him.
He was acting normal. Good. Maybe this wouldn’t be so weird. “I found four.”
“Are you planning on picking up an extra bookshelf on the way home tonight?” he asked.
“That’s not a bad idea.” The waitress came and took our order. Matt and I split a meatball pizza. Nina and West went with sausage and mushroom.