Instead, I said hello.
“Hi,” Davin finally said, his tone flat.
His gaze flickered to my hand that was still clasping Mitch’s, his expression dark.
I pulled my hand from Mitch’s and sat beside Davin. Mitch plopped down on my other side. Sara curled up on the end, winking at me.
Mitch’s arm lifted to rest on the couch behind me. I inched forward, so his arm wouldn’t ‘accidentally’ fall onto my shoulders, in a typical gesture only Mitch could pull off.
“I’m not sure if you’ve ever been formally introduced?” I said looking between Davin and Mitch. It was no secret Davin ignored all Makanza Survivor Research Group scientists, even though Mitch had been studying Davin for seven years.
“Davin, this is Mitch.”
“Nice to officially meet you.” Mitch grinned. He held out his hand. “Finally.”
Davin didn’t take his hand, but he managed a, “you too,” through clenched teeth.
After seven years in which Mitch subjected Davin to testing against Davin’s consent, it wasn’t surprising Davin had yet to forgive him. Of course, that non-consensual testing all stemmed from Dr. Roberts’ orders.
Davin sat back on the couch, his hands moving to his knees.
“I can’t believe tonight’s finally here.” I eyed Davin. From the way his thigh muscles tightened, he seemed tense.
“Yeah. We’ve been waiting for this night for a while.”
Despite Davin’s normal reply, I still caught the edginess.
I was about to ask him if he was okay when the lights dimmed. A hush fell over the room as an image flashed to life on the screen. It was President Morgan, sitting behind her desk in the Oval Office.
Davin’s jaw tightened. I wanted to nudge him and ask him what was going on, but before I could, Mitch’s arm fell onto my shoulders. His fingers brushed Davin’s bicep in the process.
Davin didn’t turn, but his nostrils flared. And then it dawned on me. Is he acting like this because of Mitch?
Shrugging Mitch’s arm off, I pushed those thoughts aside as the president smiled and folded her hands in front of her.
President Morgan’s shoulder-length blond hair was perfectly groomed, and her eyes bright. She began her speech by thanking everyone for all of their courage, perseverance, and strength for not giving up as our nation faced its most difficult time in its history.
“And I want to thank all of the scientists at the Makanza Research Institute. Without their dedication and hard work, we wouldn’t have a vaccine today. And lastly, I want to thank the Kazzies – the people who survived Makanza. Without their help, the vaccine would have never been possible.”
I eyed Davin again.
He still wouldn’t look at me.
I put my hand over his, squeezing.
His eyes met mine. He smiled briefly, distantly, before turning back to the screen and pulling his hand away.
My heart thudded as I gripped my hands together in my lap. He was definitely upset. Whether that be about Mitch or something else, I wasn’t sure. Regardless, annoyance flashed through me that he was acting this way. This moment was huge for us. A part of me wanted to shake him and yell, “Haven’t we been waiting for this ever since the vaccine breakthrough? Aren’t we supposed to experience this together?”
Of course, I did nothing like that. Instead, I crossed my arms and focused on the speech.
The president continued, but try as I might, my attention kept wandering to Davin. Three inches separated my knee from his. Those three inches felt like a mile.
It was only when the president reached the part in her speech about what our representatives and her had decided, that I gave her my full attention.
“We’ve come to a decision on what is to become of the Kazzies, now that the vaccine has been administered to everyone in this country. It wasn’t an easy decision, and we want you all to know that. Regardless of how everyone feels about the verdict, we ask that you support it and allow our country’s rebuilding to continue.”
Silence filled the room.
The only sound I heard was my own breathing within the hood.
Davin leaned forward in his seat, his shoulders tense. The Kazzies in front of us did the same.
“We’ve decided that the Kazzies will be allowed to leave the Compounds,” the president said.
Sage let out a whoop of joy, the others soon following. Applause erupted from the researchers.
“But,” the president added. That one word stopped all of the celebrating. “It will be under certain conditions. It was decided, for the safety of the public, that the Kazzies will not be allowed to return to society completely free. We’ll be asking all survivors of Makanza to cooperate with this compromise. All of them will be moved to the Cheyenne River Reservation in South Dakota which is hundreds of miles away from any occupied city.
“Those infected with Makanza will be allowed to live there freely, however, their movements will be restricted to the reservation. Visitors will be allowed in but not allowed to stay. As you all know, our country’s resources are stretched thin. Since the reservation will be isolated from cities and states, tax payer dollars will fund it. So while family and friends will be permitted to visit, they cannot live there. It would be too costly.
“Also, to appease the worries of those who fear contamination, all visitors leaving the reservation will be subjected to three weeks of quarantine to make sure he or she hasn’t contracted Makanza. It was felt all of these measures are the safest way to ensure the Kazzies are free while also keeping the public safe.”
I stared at the screen, unable to believe what I was hearing. The Kazzies would be allowed out of the Compound, but essentially, they’d just be moved to a different facility. Granted they’d be able to move around freely and go outside, but they still wouldn’t be free. Not really.
I swallowed sharply at something else she’d said. Visitors will be allowed in but not allowed to stay.
And that was the nail in the coffin. As long as Davin was contained within the reservation, we could never be together.
Never.
I turned to Davin, wanting to know how he was taking this, but before I could ask anything, he stood and disappeared up the stairs. He did it as his speed so turned into a blur.
“Davin!” My voice shook, but he was gone before the word left my mouth.
Mitch put his arm around me again. “Megs, it’ll be okay.”
Davin abruptly appeared at the top of the stairs. I had no idea where he’d whizzed to and come back from.
Our eyes met. His gaze shifted to Mitch’s arm, draped around me. I tried to shrug Mitch off, but before I could, something in Davin’s face changed. I couldn’t quite tell what it was.
Anger. Pain. Regret. It all seemed jumbled into one.
Without a backward glance, he left the room.
6 – REJECTION
It was awkward trying to stand. The damned suit again. By the time I finally got to my feet, Davin was long gone. Everyone was busy talking, the room a buzz of conversation. It was only then I realized how crowded it was. People were everywhere.
My heart fluttered. The room felt like it was closing in.
Mitch had turned, talking to the researchers behind us, so he was completely oblivious to my reaction. The Kazzies in front of me all huddled together, whispering and conversing in voices too muffled for me to hear.
I had no idea how they were taking the news. They would be free, but not really. Instead, it would be an entirely different kind of imprisonment, but they’d still be in prison.
A prison with no walls.
Only Sara seemed to notice my panic. She stepped closer as her scratchy feeling entered my mind. I opened up to our mental link. I didn’t try to speak out loud, since I knew she was communicating this way to keep our words private.
Why don’t you go check on Davin, she said. He’s completely shut me out.
I knew she was referring to the mental link she shared with hi
m too. Walls didn’t stop that connection, not even distance did, but if one of us wanted her out, we could keep her out. Permanently.
I nodded tightly.
She gave my arm a brief squeeze and smiled reassuringly. You’ll be okay. Just breathe.
I walked away, lumbering up the stairs awkwardly. Nobody paid any attention when I passed them or gently nudged someone to move.
Reaching the elevators, I took a deep, shuddering breath. The nearest person was now over ten feet away. My head began to clear.
I debated where to go. My gut told me Davin would return to his cell. If he was going to go anywhere, it would be somewhere no one would bother him.
I took the elevators down to the main floor and stepped out, walking toward his room. The walk seemed to take forever. I cursed the stupid suit the entire way. When I finally reached his door with the large number six, I typed in my MRI code into the keypad. With a hiss, the door slid open.
Davin sat on his bed, his head in his hands, his back to me.
I stood there for a moment, watching him. Sergeant Rose sat in the watch room. Since he was here past five, he’d obviously stayed late to hear the verdict. My heart went out to him. He cared as much as I did.
When Sergeant Rose saw me, he nodded sympathetically and pushed a button on the control panel, turning off his speaker before he swirled his stool around, his back to us, essentially giving us complete privacy.
A burst of gratitude shot through me. I could always count on him.
Davin had to know I was there, but he didn’t turn when I approached.
I stood behind him, watching his back rise and fall with each breath. I longed to reach out and touch him, to comfort him, but then I remembered his rejection in the theatre.
He doesn’t want your touch.
I took another deep breath and walked to the other side of his bed, pulling his chair over. He still didn’t look up, not even when I sat directly in front of him.
“Davin?” I said softly.
His head hung in his hands. His muscled forearms were taught and covered in rope veins. Everything about him was so sexy. I snapped my eyes away. Those thoughts would get me nowhere.
“I’m fine, Meghan,” he finally said, still not looking up. “You don’t need to be here.”
I flinched. His words hurt more than him pulling away in the theatre. He’d always welcomed me here. No matter what.
“I just wanted to check on you.”
He looked up sharply. His blue eyes blazed into mine. They were lined with anger.
I flinched again.
His rage seemed almost directed at me. But that didn’t make any sense. I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“I’m fine,” he said.
“I know you said that, but I also know that wasn’t the news you wanted to hear.”
He just stared at me.
I leaned forward, wanting to touch him but stopped myself. “Once everyone has a chance to calm down, I’ll go back to D.C. I know I won’t be the only person who will fight this. You will be free Davin. Completely free. Someday.”
He smirked. “Right. If you say so.”
“Davin,” I said sharply. “Don’t give up on this. Don’t give up on me. I’ll fight this for years if I have to.”
He met my gaze again, except now the anger in his eyes was gone. All that filled them was pain. “You can’t fight for me forever, Meghan. You have your own life too. A life that has nothing to do with me.”
I pulled back as if burned. A life without him was not a life I wanted. “Don’t say that,” I whispered fiercely.
“Why can’t I say it? It’s true. You heard the president. Nobody’s allowed to live on the reservation. Only us. Only Kazzies. That’s it. You and I…” A muscle in his jaw ticked as he looked away. “You and I will become a thing of the past. Even though we…” He shook his head. “No. There’s no use talking about it. It can never be.”
My heart pounded in my chest as his words sank in. Did he just hint at wanting to be with me? Or am I reading into things? Imagining it because I want it so much?
Forcing myself to not dwell on that, I said, “I made you a promise last year, that if it was the last thing I did on this earth, it would be to get you out of here. I intend to keep that promise.”
A shadow fell over his face. “You’ve done enough for me. You don’t owe me anything. You should go, get back to everyone else. I’m sure they’re all waiting for you. Amy’s probably wondering where you are, and Mitch–” The muscle in his jaw ticked again. “He’s probably looking for you too.”
“Why would Mitch be looking for me?”
Davin gave me a look, as if I should know, but what he was suggesting was preposterous. I didn’t have feelings for Mitch. I never would.
I opened my mouth to tell him that, but then he shook his head. “Just go, Meghan. I’m fine.”
A part of me wanted to protest. This was all so absurd. I didn’t want Mitch! I wanted him! And it seemed Davin may want me too.
But then Davin’s words came back to haunt me. It can never be. And with a bone-crushing sense of realization, I knew…
He was right.
We could never be together. Not as long as he wasn’t allowed out of the Compound or the reservation the president spoke of. And seeing him now, I knew, that he’d never consider a life with me, not even the possibility of it, until he was free.
Making myself stand, I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Davin still sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, his head hung in his hands. My heart broke into a million pieces as I stared down at him. It can never be.
But that wasn’t a reality I was willing to accept. Not yet. Not ever. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”
I turned and walked out of his cell.
NOBODY WAS LOOKING for me back in the Kazzies’ entertainment rooms. Just like I knew they wouldn’t be. Davin sometimes failed to see that I wasn’t the by-all and end-all at this place.
Essentially, I was just another researcher who happened to make a big discovery about the vaccine. But here, at Compound 26, that novelty had worn off months ago. Amy, Mitch, and Charlie liked giving me a hard time and joked that I’d be a Director one day, but I knew a huge reason for that was simply because they liked watching me squirm.
I hurried through the crowds. Once again, the panic began as bodies shoved into me. Pushing me. Choking me. I just wanted to go home.
I knew I could have exited through Davin’s containment room, but then I would have faced Sergeant Rose. I was barely keeping it together as it was. If I had seen the guard’s sympathetic gaze, I would have burst into tears.
When I finally reached the researcher’s containment room, removed my suit, hurried to my wing, and got through security to the parking lot, I took a deep gulp of warm, humid air. The evening star peeked through the clouds as crickets chirped. It was a beautiful summer evening, but I barely noticed.
Tears wanted to spill down my cheeks, but I held them back. It can never be.
The drive back to my apartment was a hazy blur. Once in my bathroom, I stripped my clothes and climbed into a warm bath. I cranked the music up on my ancient iPod, but no matter what I did to distract myself, I still saw Davin’s face in my mind. I still heard his words, telling me to go.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, I sank into the water.
THE SCRATCHY FEELING from Sara woke me the next day. Pushing hair from my eyes, I slowly sat up and opened our mental door. Sara?
Hi, did I wake you?
Yeah, what time is it?
Just after six, I–
Crap! I slept in! I scrambled out of bed. It then occurred to me that Sara had contacted me at six in the morning. She usually never woke up that early. What’s up?
It’s Davin.
My stomach plummeted as I hurried along the carpet to the bathroom. What’s wrong? Is he okay?
He says he is, but I don’t believe him. I think he’s taking the news harder than any
of us.
My hair was a site in my bathroom mirror. I squeezed a glob of toothpaste on my toothbrush and began scrubbing my teeth.
Have you talked to him? I tried to keep the catch from my voice.
He finally told me he was fine last night but then he shut me out again. He still hasn’t opened up.
I spit into the sink and rinsed my mouth as my stomach sank even more. He wouldn’t talk to me last night.
I felt Sara’s surprise. Are you kidding me? He always talks to you.
I know.
You need to go see him, Meghan. Maybe he’ll listen to you today.
But what can I tell him? I’m going to fight to stop the reservation, but he didn’t want to hear that last night. He told me to leave him alone. My hands stilled on the towel I’d been using to wipe my mouth. It hung limply from my hand. He told me I have my own life to lead.
Sara sighed. You know how he gets. He doesn’t mean it. That guy cares about you more than anybody. And I don’t for a second think he wants you to forget about him and move on.
I didn’t argue with her, but I also didn’t tell her about the change I’d sensed in him last night. Something had shifted between us. I’d felt it. Like a crack in the sidewalk – at first, that crack seems small and inconsequential, but as time passes, the crack widens until the sidewalk crumbles apart. I hated to think that’s what had started, but deep down, I knew Davin was giving up on me. He was giving up on us. I could feel it.
I’ll go to the Inner Sanctum first thing when I get to work.
Sara’s relief billowed into me like the warm breeze outside my window. Thank you. Let me know how it goes.
SERGEANT ROSE SAT at the control panel when I stepped into the watch room. Davin was sitting on his bed reading the newspaper. The front headline was so large it was impossible to miss. Plan for Kazzies to move to Reservation. Davin thumbed a page but stopped when our gazes met.
He nodded at me but didn’t smile like he usually did.
My brow furrowed as I gazed through the thick, four-inch glass into Davin’s cell. “How’s he doing this morning?”
Reservation 1: Book #2 in The Makanza Series Page 6