The driver’s eyes widened. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My wife’s in awe of how much you’ve contributed to the vaccine at such a young age. She said you’re a genius.”
My cheeks turned pink. “I don’t know if I’m a genius.” I fiddled with my shirt. “I just have a good memory.”
“Meghan’s an extremely intelligent and talented scientist.” Dr. Hutchinson pulled her sunglasses out. The evening sun, hanging low in the western sky, blazed through the cab. “Don’t let her fool you.”
The driver mumbled something about how he assumed the same before turning around in his seat and peeling us out of the airport.
I expected us to venture to another hotel. I assumed that’s where they’d drop me off, so when the driver pulled into the driveway of a large house an hour later, I was a bit shocked.
“I hope you don’t mind staying in my guest room?” Cate asked before opening her door.
“Oh… um… no, of course not.”
I stared in awe at Dr. Hutchinson’s home. It was built on a hill. Seattle’s stunning skyline of neglected skyscrapers was visible in the distance. The house was two stories with large windows, a peaked roofline, and a freshly painted dark blue exterior. Any freshly painted house caught my attention, since paint was not something readily found in stores.
The neighborhood appeared only half abandoned. Many of the homes were large. It was obvious which ones were still occupied. Lights shone from the windows and the lawns were cared for in the ones occupied. On the flipside, the abandoned ones had boarded-up windows and overgrown yards. It was an all too common sight in today’s world.
We said goodbye to the driver and stepped into the entryway in Cate’s home. Heavenly scents and soft music greeted us.
“Is that you, mom?” a voice called from a distant room.
Cate motioned for me to drop my bags. “That’s my daughter, Harper.” She kicked off her shoes and said in a raised voice, “Yes, sweetheart, just me.”
A second later a young woman, probably in her late teens, came bounding into the foyer. She rushed to Cate and flung her arms around her. “You weren’t gone long!”
Cate hugged her back. “Thankfully, no.”
When the girl saw me, she let go of her mother. “Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was here.”
“That’s all right.” I waved. “I’m Meghan.”
Recognition filled the girl’s face. “Meghan Forester! From South Dakota!” She nudged her mom. “How does it feel to be around someone more famous than you?”
Cate laughed. “Meghan will be staying here until we get a few things straightened out. And from the smell of it, you’re cooking dinner?”
Harper nodded. “Mushroom lasagna.” She shrugged sheepishly in my direction. “I’m vegetarian. Hope that’s okay with you.”
“Absolutely fine. Trust me, anything’s better than my cooking.”
Harper and Cate shared a look before they both laughed.
A blush heated my cheeks at how flippant I’d been. I was obviously tired from the flight. I was usually more guarded around people, but perhaps it was the endless energy that seemed to emit from Harper and the familiar way Cate so easily invited me into her home that loosened my inhibitions.
Harper picked up one of my bags. “Come with me. I’ll show you the guest room.”
AFTER A VERY delicious dinner of mushroom lasagna and a fresh salad, I retired to my room for the night. I could tell that Harper and Cate wanted to catch up. Their close bond was obvious. I knew enough about Cate’s past to know that she’d lost her husband in the First Wave. Luckily, she and Harper had managed to avoid infection. I felt so grateful that Cate still had her daughter. I could only imagine how devastating it was for those who’d lost their entire family.
Once I’d showered and changed into pajamas, I sat down on the bed. The guest room consisted of a double bed and single chair in the corner. It was simple yet comfortable. Much more along the lines of what I was used to. The luxurious and spacious accommodation at the White House had been as alien to me as the deep sea creatures pulled from the bottom of the ocean. I definitely felt like I could breathe here.
Lying back on the bed, I debated how I would broach the subject of my failure with the Kazzies. Sara had tried a few times to get in touch with me today, but I’d ignored her since I knew what she was going to ask.
I mulled over what to do. After checking my phone, my spirits sank that Davin still hadn’t returned my calls. I should call him now. Even though he’s ignoring me, he deserves to know what happened. And if he ignored me again… Then I guess Sara will have to tell him.
My heart rate picked up. With shaking fingers, I pulled out my cell phone. Since his number was top of my call list all I had to do was tap two buttons.
“Hello?”
I breathed a sigh of relief that he’d answered. “Hi, Davin.”
“Oh… Meghan.” His voice sounded strained.
“How are you?”
He cleared his throat. “Fine. How are you?”
I debated what to tell him first: that I hadn’t slept with Mitch or that they were still moving to the reservation. I decided to get the harder one over with first.
“Well…” My breath caught. “Not good. We failed. I failed. You’re all moving to the reservation.”
I waited for his response.
It never came.
“But I’m not giving up,” I rushed on. “Cate and I are in Seattle. We’re going to begin an education campaign and rally the public’s support. You’ll have to go to the reservation for a short while, but–”
“Meghan, it’s okay. I expected this to happen.” His tone was quiet. “I told you. It was too hopeful to think they’d scrap that new law. They had a hard enough time deciding to let us out of the Compounds at all. It would be a miracle if they let us be completely free.”
“But complete freedom is what you deserve.”
“Maybe, but I know that will probably never happen.”
“Of course it will! I’m not giving up! I’ll–”
“Stop, please. I need you to listen to me.”
My fingers shook as I held my phone to my ear.
He took a deep breath and then began talking in what sounded like a rehearsed speech. “Meghan you need to accept that my fate will probably never change. I’ll most likely die in here or on the reservation. You have no idea how much I–” His voice cut off as he cleared his throat. “You have no idea how much you mean to me or how in awe I am that you’ve tried so hard to free me and everyone else. But you need to realize that I’ll probably always be in here. I’m always going to be infected. That’s a stigma I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.”
“But your infection doesn’t define you or any of the other Kazzies.”
“It may not to you, but it does to a lot of other people. And I…” He again seemed to struggle to get the words out. His voice turned hoarse. “And I want you to accept that what you’re fighting for will probably never happen. I need you to understand that and not kill yourself with what you’re trying to do. It kills me, Meghan, to see what kind of toll this takes on you.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as the tears flowed. “But I want to fight for you!”
He cleared his throat again. Emotion made his voice thick. “And I want you to lead your own life.”
Tears cascaded down my cheeks. Here it was. He was saying it again. It was just like those two weeks he ignored me before I was exposed. He was gently yet firmly telling me that he wanted me to let him go. He truly believed he’d always be imprisoned.
I somehow managed to ask through my tears, “Is that really what you want?”
“What I want…” His voice caught. He took a deep breath before continuing. “What I want is for you to be happy. And happiness isn’t going to come for someone who’s fighting a war that can’t be won.”
“You don’t know that! Things could change!”
He snorted quietly. “I su
ppose anything’s possible, but I’m also a realist, Meg. I’ve lived in this Compound for seven years. For seven years, I’ve been at the whim of the men and women who run this place. I have Makanza. I’m infected. I’ll always be feared by the public. Maybe the reservation is the compromise and is as good as it will ever be for me. I’ll have to be okay with that. If that’s to be how my life plays out then fine, I’ll deal with it, but what I can’t deal with,” his voice shook, “is knowing that you lose sleep over me and everyone else. That you don’t eat at times because you get so worried about what will happen to us. That you’re putting your life on hold to help us. That’s what I can’t live with, and I won’t. I want you to enjoy your life and forget about trying to save us.”
I was speechless. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
It was happening all over again.
Davin was once again pushing me away and making it clear he wouldn’t consider a life with me. Now now. Not ever if he was never free.
“Davin…” Tears blinded me. I glanced out the window at the dark night. My tear streaked face stared back at me in the reflection. “I can’t. I can’t stop fighting. If I stop fighting, I’ll stop breathing. Please don’t take that away from me.”
He sighed heavily. “I’m so sorry. You should have never had to take on our problems.” He sounded so tired and defeated.
“You have nothing to be sorry about! It’s the damn virus. As soon as it took Jer’s life–” My throat tightened. I did my best to compose myself so my next words were clear. “As soon as it claimed the one human who I loved more than myself, I dedicated my life to stopping it. It’s the only thing that’s kept me going.”
“And you have stopped it. You discovered a vaccine that works. You’ve inoculated the public. Your dedication has forged a new path for our country. You did what you set out to do. I’m in awe of all that you’ve done.”
“But all of that doesn’t mean a thing if…” I stopped myself. I almost told him that none of it mattered if he couldn’t be free. It was a stupid, selfish thing to say. Of course, it mattered. Davin was one of twelve hundred Kazzies. To say that none of their lives mattered simply because I couldn’t be with Davin was weak and childish.
I cleared my throat. “I can’t give up. Please understand that.”
He took a deep breath. “I know I can’t make you forget about this and create a life for yourself without our needs following you everywhere you go, but please promise me one thing?”
“What?”
“Find someone,” his voice turned gruff, “to… love… on the outside. Find someone to pour all of your passion and energy into that’s not going to burden you or drag you down for the rest of your life.” His tone grew quieter. “I wish…” I heard him shake his head. “No, wishing won’t do anything, not in here. Not in my world. But promise me, Meg that you won’t spend too much longer on this. I know that Mitch…” He took a breath. “I know that Mitch cares for you and that you care for him too. You should give him a shot. You could be…” He cleared his throat. “You could be happy with him.”
“Mitch? No, Davin, I never–”
“Meghan, stop. I want you to move on with him, but I can’t hear about it. I want you to be happy, but if I hear about him with you.” He groaned. “I just can’t, okay?”
“But I didn’t–”
“I have to go. Another call’s coming through, and it’s probably my mom. I need to tell her that I’m moving to the reservation and that it’s going to be my new home. Bye, Meghan.”
“Wait!” The desperate word bubbled out of me just as he hung up. I stared at the phone, at the blank empty screen.
I sat there, unmoving, unable to believe what he’d said. He wants me to be with Mitch. But he doesn’t really, he just wants me to find someone who’s not imprisoned in hopes that I’ll be happy.
The memory of Davin’s lips on mine rose to the front of my mind. I closed my eyes as tears poured down my cheeks. It was possible that kiss had been our first and last.
Sobs shook my shoulders as I fell to my side on the bed. I drew my knees up. My world felt quiet and broken. It was exactly how I felt inside.
19 – PUBLIC EDUCATION
The next six weeks became a haze of traveling, speaking, campaigning, and fighting for a cause that most times felt impossible. Fortunately, Dr. Sadowsky understood the importance of what Cate, our political team, and I were trying to achieve. He extended my leave of absence from the Compound so I didn’t have to stress about missing work.
Even though Davin had requested that I stop, I couldn’t. Quite simply, I couldn’t leave my friends to their fates.
The president also kept her word. She gave us special passes to cross state borders and offered her staff to help organize rallies, create fundraisers, and provide support for a political world that was as foreign to me as the country I was seeing. All of that resulted in a small army sweeping the nation, doing our best to increase education and awareness.
As each week passed, the dark circles under my eyes grew more prominent. I barely slept. At times, I didn’t eat. My anxiety ran rampant from the close quarters we traveled in, the public speaking, the hands I had to shake, and the bodies that constantly pressed against me, but I didn’t let it stop me. Even though I was living Davin’s worst fears, I persevered. It was the only way to convince the public and stop the protests.
I barely noticed when my birthday came and went in August. I was officially twenty-four, but I kept that to myself. Since I’d never told the Kazzies my birthday, none of them knew. I didn’t mind that a strained conversation with my parents was the only happy birthday I received. I was too tired to care.
When the end of August finally neared, the anniversary of the First Wave loomed. September 3. Once that date hit, the Kazzies would be moved to the reservation. Our time was running out.
And while on some days, I saw hope in our endeavors, on other days it felt impossible. Still, we carried on. Until the president agreed to a public vote to free the Kazzies, they would remain prisoners on Reservation 1.
By the time September 1 dawned, Cate and I had managed to visit over half of the United States. The other teams had covered the rest of it. Our six-week long tour had come to an end.
We all agreed to reconvene and pursue our cause again in October, but right now there was something else we needed to do.
Cate and I needed to return to our home states. In two days, our Kazzies would be moved to Reservation 1.
WHEN THE TIME finally came for Cate and me to part ways, we stood facing each other on the tarmac at Sioux Falls airport. She grasped my hands firmly. “Take care of yourself, Meghan. You look exhausted.”
“I will. And you better too.” Neither of us had slept much during the past six weeks.
She squeezed my hands again before letting go. “At least the Director won’t be Dr. Roberts. Even though the Kazzies have to move to the reservation, they’ll be happier there. They won’t be locked up anymore.”
I nodded acceptingly. The president had called Cate last week about the reservation’s new Director. He worked for the CDC in upper management and had a military background. I hadn’t heard much about him, but anyone was better than Dr. Roberts.
“See you in a few weeks.” Cate re-boarded the plane.
I waited on the tarmac until they lifted into the sky. Once the jet disappeared into the clouds, I breathed in a breath of fresh air that smelled sweeter than anything I’d ever imagined.
I was home.
My cell phone buzzed in my purse. Fishing it out, I began walking to my car and sighed when I saw the text. Another one from Mitch.
Hey pretty lady. Are you back in town yet? :)
With a sigh, I dropped my phone back in my bag. I’d heard from Mitch every few days during my time away. Half the time, they were texts with no real purpose other than to flirt or say hi.
Most weeks I’d heard from Mitch more than I had from Davin. Biting my lip, I clutched my bag tighte
r to my side. I’ll deal with him later. It was becoming increasingly apparent that my co-worker was actively pursuing me, but in the time I’d spent away, clearing things up with Mitch had been the furthest thing from my mind.
Fighting the anxiety that coming conversation provoked, I forced myself to walk to my car. Bone-deep wariness seeped through me. I checked my cell phone again, hoping for a message from someone else while I checked the time. Nothing. It had been four days since Davin and I spoke.
And six weeks since we’ve had a decent conversation longer than five minutes.
Since it was mid-afternoon, there was still enough time to visit the Compound and see how the progress was coming along. As I drove from the airport, I rolled down the window. Warm air flowed in.
It was hard to believe that almost a year ago, I’d begun my job at the Compound. So much had changed in that time. We’d developed a vaccine. The public was now immune. The Kazzies were being released from the Compound.
My love for Davin hadn’t diminished.
I’d hoped time and time again over the previous months that my affection, admiration, and soul-searing love for a man I could never be with would fade. Unfortunately, the opposite had happened. I loved him even more now than I had six months ago.
He would most likely fill a vacant spot in my heart until the day I died. I’d never loved before like I loved him, and I didn’t think I ever would.
With a deep sigh, I turned onto the Compound’s frontage road. The outer perimeter guards assessed me with a new light in their eyes and respectful nods. I was vaguely aware that ANN had run constant coverage on what Dr. Hutchinson, our political teams, and I were doing. I’d been too busy to watch any of it. I had no idea if they portrayed us in a positive light. Anything less would be one more battle we’d have to fight.
“Dr. Forester. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you.” Private Williams presented his hand-held computer at my admittance door.
I placed my palm against it. It flashed green. “I’ve been a bit busy.”
He pocketed the small computer. “I know. It’s been all over the news what you and your group are doing.”
Reservation 1: Book #2 in The Makanza Series Page 20