by Jenny Frame
She hurried back over to the mirror to have one last check of her hair, then pointed at her own reflection.
“No matter how nice, how kind, how sexy, or how adorable she is—don’t fall for her charms any more than we already have. We won’t be here forever. Got it?” she asked herself.
Penny nodded back and walked to the door, repeating in her head, She’s just a friend, just a friend, just a fr—
She opened the door and saw Quade with a bigger and more beautiful bouquet of flowers, wearing a suit jacket with her jeans, and a shirt and tie. If that wasn’t gorgeous and adorable enough, she looked down to Dougal, and he had a doggy bow tie around his collar.
“Aww! Look at you, sweet boy.” Penny crouched down and ruffled his fur.
“Dougal thought that we should make an effort tonight,” Quade said.
“He looks so handsome.” Penny stood up again and said to Quade, “You both look handsome.”
“You look beautiful, Penny,” Quade said.
Penny’s stomach was turning cartwheels. Not only did Quade look good, but she could smell her gorgeous cologne. “Come in then.”
Quade walked in and handed over her flowers. Penny inhaled the scent and hummed. “These smell beautiful. Flowers don’t usually have this strong a scent.”
“They do when they’ve come straight from the ground,” Quade said.
Penny giggled. “Don’t go getting me all excited with your organic goods.”
Quade brought out another box from behind her back and handed it over nervously. “Eh…I got you these too. I hope they’re okay.”
Penny put down her flowers on the coffee table, unwrapped the roughly wrapped paper, and found something that just screamed Quade’s adorability: a box of dairy-free organic chocolates. Even though dairy-free was alien to a farmer like her, she went out of her way to get something she knew Penny would like.
Penny’s heart was certainly getting a good workout tonight as it resounded with appreciation for Sam McQuade.
“Where did you get something like this around here?”
Quade looked as if she was nervously waiting on her approval. “I didn’t. I drove to Waldenworth. It’s our nearest town.”
“How far away is that?” Penny asked.
“About forty-five minutes?” Quade replied.
Penny groaned internally. How could she ever hope to keep her emotions under control with Quade? When she was impossibly kind and gorgeous?
I could so fall in love with her.
“Are they the right kind of thing?”
“Yes, perfect. Thank you so much, Sammy.” Penny took a breath and moved to kiss Quade on the cheek. It was meant to be a quick peck, but Quade’s scent made her lips linger on her soft skin.
Get away before you go somewhere you can’t ever go.
“Excuse me. I’ll just put these flowers in water.”
* * *
Watching her Penny be Penny Huntingdon-Stewart was a strange experience. Quade was sitting on a stool by the kitchen door, while Penny recorded at the kitchen counter. There were three cameras, all placed at different angles, and lights all over.
Penny was so confident talking to the camera, almost as if the viewers were in the same room as her. This taught her that she got to see the real Penny, because she didn’t show any insecurities, worries, or stubbornness in front of the camera.
That gave Quade some satisfaction. Even if Penny was being difficult, bad tempered, cold, or closed off, at least she was seeing the real Penny. None of Penny’s audience had ever seen her open and vulnerable like she had been when she lay in Quade’s lap after her epileptic fit.
Penny lifted up one of the cameras and pointed it at Quade. “I have a surprise for you, friends. Sexy Farmer is with me tonight. “Say hi, Sexy Farmer.”
“Hi,” Quade said nervously.
Penny laughed. “As you can see friends, she’s very talkative. Now today we’re going to show Sexy Farmer how you can milk a nut. Which was exactly what she said to me the first time I met her.”
Quade watched in awe as Penny’s features shone and came to life in front of the camera. She could see why this was important to Penny. This was hers, something she had built with no help from her family, or family name.
Quade just couldn’t get over how beautiful Penny was. She loved everything about Penny. She loved the way Penny ran her pink painted fingernails through her wavy blond hair and tucked it behind her ear. The way she ran the tip of her tongue over her deep pink lips when she was thinking, and the way her laugh set Quade’s heart on fire.
She’d never seen anyone as beautifully feminine as Penny. If someone had asked her to dream up the perfect woman, Quade’s imagination couldn’t even come close to the reality of Penny.
Quade had imagined kissing Penny many times, but the dreams didn’t feel half as exciting as when Penny had leaned in and kissed her cheek. It took everything in her to not take Penny into her arms and make her imagination come true. Being so close to her, feeling her lips on her skin, and being surrounded by her perfume made Quade want her so very badly.
But Penny didn’t go for lesbians like her. Quade had looked with interest at the social media apps Penny had put on her phone. She flicked through the pictures of Penny in her London world, going to events and parties, and felt even further away from her. They were so different, and Quade had seen with her own eyes what type of woman Penny went out with.
She was always at events with a young good-looking tomboy or dapper butch, some well known and some not, but all extremely handsome and well dressed.
She could never compete in jeans and boots. The one thing she did notice in the pictures was Penny was never close to, or even holding hands with, the women she was with, and she was reminded of their day at her farm. It took effort, almost courage, for Penny to take her hand, but she had taken her hand.
There must be many hidden depths to that icy wall she kept around herself, and as Bridge had said, it was her task to melt her. But was she up to the task?
She turned her attention back to Penny and heard her say, “That’s all for today, friends. More from the country soon.”
Penny turned the camera on her again. “Say goodbye, Sexy Farmer.”
Despite her embarrassment, Quade gave a brief wave. “Bye.”
Penny stopped filming and let out a breath. “That was great, having you here. It’s going to be a popular video.”
“It was interesting. I never knew you could do things like that with nuts,” Quade said.
Penny walked to her stool with a wicked smile on her face, and the glass of nut milk she had made.
“Taste it, then, Sexy Farmer.”
Quade loosened her tie. She was starting to feel really hot. She had the urge to pull Penny into her arms but resisted.
She took the glass and sniffed it in suspicion.
“It won’t bite you—it’s just made from nuts,” Penny said.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Quade screwed up her face.
Penny put her hands on her hips. “Do you eat kidneys? Liver?”
“Of course. Steak and kidney pie is one of my favourites.”
Penny leaned over, and whether it was intentional or not, Quade got an up-close view down into her cleavage. Her breasts looked so round, so full. A heavy beat started to pound inside her. She wasn’t used to constant sexual arousal, but since Penny had come to the village, it was frustratingly real.
Penny whispered in the sexiest voice, “You can eat offal from an animal, but you’re afraid of nut milk? Are you a butch or a mouse, Sammy?”
Quade could either pull Penny to her, rush whatever was growing between them, and risk upsetting Penny, or drink the dreaded nut milk. So she brought it to her lips and drank back the whole glass.
“Well?” Penny said.
Quade mulled it over. “It’s not as bad as I thought, but I’d rather stick to the moo variety.”
Penny burst out laughing and reached out and wiped a
dribble of milk from her mouth.
The laughter died and there was something quite different hanging in the air. Wiping the drop of milk from her mouth turned into a caress. Quade slowly put her hand on top on Penny’s, and after a few seconds, she felt the tension in Penny’s hand.
Penny pulled it away. “I’d better check on dinner.”
* * *
“That was delicious. You’re a great cook,” Quade said as she finished her last bite of dinner.
Penny couldn’t stop smiling. It was such fun having dinner with someone who she got on well with. Someone she trusted, and who she knew wouldn’t push her into something she wasn’t ready for.
Penny had enjoyed watching Quade eat. She seemed to really enjoy her food, and it made Penny feel warm inside to feed Quade.
“I didn’t used to be. When I left my parents’ house, I couldn’t boil an egg.” Penny pointed to Quade’s plate. “And don’t expect so unhealthy a dinner the next time. I just wanted to make something I knew you’d enjoy to say sorry for the other day. Next time there’ll be more colour on your plate.”
“What do you mean?” Quade said.
“Eat the rainbow. Purple, oranges, yellows, and lots of green. That’s what makes you healthy.”
Quade rumpled up her nose cutely. “That sounds like vegetables to me.”
“Exactly.” Penny winked.
That was another new thing for Penny. Flirting. She never indulged in it as it might land her in a situation that panicked her, that she’d have to talk her way out of, but with Quade, it was fun, and she felt comfortable indulging in it.
Quade laughed. “As long as you cook them, I’ll give anything a try.”
“Are you ready for dessert, or do you want a break?”
Quade patted her stomach. “A break, I think. I’m stuffed.”
Penny stood up and picked up her phone. “Why don’t we sit in front of the fire for a while. I can show you our picture.”
Before they’d started dinner, Penny had taken a picture of them together and posted it online. Her followers appeared to love Quade, so she gave them what they wanted.
Penny led them over to the couch and pointed to the two dogs, sprawled out in front of the fire. “They’re quite contented.”
Quade took a seat on the couch. “No wonder, after that beef dinner you gave them.”
Penny picked up her iPad and flopped down beside Quade. She kicked off her heels and put her feet up.
“Okay, you ready to see what the world thinks about you?”
When Penny got no immediate response, she looked at Quade and saw her eyes almost caressing her legs and feet, and surprisingly she didn’t panic.
This is fine. It’s Quade. It’s safe.
“Quade?”
“Oh, sorry. Yes.” Quade turned her attention to Penny and fidgeted with her tie.
Penny was excited when she saw the likes and hits their picture had received. “Wow, this is amazing, look at all the likes and comments.”
Quade leaned in to look closely, and Penny felt warmth spread up the right side of her body. Usually close proximity to people turned her cold, but Quade was warming her up.
“You really are popular,” Quade said.
Penny smiled. “Read the comments, Sexy Farmer.”
She had to stop herself from giggling too much as Quade’s eyes went wide at some of the appreciative comments and improper suggestions.
“How does it feel to be popular? There’s some proposals in there too,” Penny said.
“They don’t even know me.” Quade again fiddled with her tie.
“They don’t need to know you. They’re appreciating your other attributes. I should put videos and pictures of you online every day—my internet traffic would go up by fifty per cent.” Penny thought it was adorable how embarrassed Quade was.
Quade couldn’t get more adorable if she tried, or could she?
When she pulled at her tie again, Penny said, “What’s wrong with your tie? You seem uncomfortable.”
“I never wear ties. I just wanted to look a little smarter for you,” Quade said.
Penny reached for her tie without thinking and started to take it off slowly. “You don’t need to change for me, Sammy. You’re perfect as you are.”
Penny pulled the tie from Quade’s neck a bit at a time, all the while getting caught up in Quade’s gorgeous eyes. She was drawn in closer, and closer, and her fingers grazed Quade’s neck as she unbuttoned her shirt button. I want to kiss her.
She was a few inches away from Quade when Quade lifted a hand to touch the side of her face.
It’s Quade, it’s just Quade.
Then, as always happened, the memory of regaining consciousness after a fit at school ran through her mind. She was looking up at a crowd of kids laughing at her. Caught at her most vulnerable. It couldn’t happen again.
Penny felt the ice she was used to coursing through her veins.
She pulled back quickly and just stared at the iPad screen, gripping the sides tightly.
She hated herself for being like this with Quade. She was so kind, so nice. She deserved someone who could love her like a normal woman.
Quade stared at Penny, trying to work out what was going through her mind. They had almost kissed, and then Penny looked terrified. She had to say something, something to ease her tension.
Quade held out her hand. She didn’t take Penny’s hand or get too close to her. She simply invited Penny to hold her hand. It was her choice whether to take it.
A short time passed, and then Penny looked at her hand, lots of thoughts seeming to pass through her head. Quade wished she could chase Penny’s fears away.
Penny grasped her hand and held it softly. She put down her iPad and used two hands to hold Quade’s.
Quade was so happy to even have Penny holding her hand. Any little touch from Penny meant she trusted Quade that little bit more.
Penny ran her fingertips over her calloused hands and said, “Our hands are so different.”
Penny’s soft skin and painted nails felt wonderful against her rough skin. “Mine are a bit of a mess,” Quade said. “Working outside—”
Penny cut her off. “No, they’re perfect. They are who you are. You have strong hard-working hands, but you use them with tenderness looking after your animals, and your garden.”
There was a silence for a minute or so. Quade was simply enjoying Penny’s touch and didn’t want anything to make her feel pushed or wary. She wondered what it was that made her so frightened of touch.
Quade thought back to what they were talking about before, and how excited Penny had been about the picture she’d posted.
“Why are likes, internet traffic, whatever you call it important to you?” Quade asked.
Even as they spoke, notification after notification pinged on the iPad lying on the couch. “It’s the core of my business. I’m a brand, so the more people interested in me, or my life as a brand, the more money I make in advertising, through sponsorships from big companies wanting me to use their products in my videos. The higher my profile, the better business offers I get. There’s an American food channel interested in making my show over there. My business partner is talking to them just now, and if this time in the country goes well, it could be on the cards.”
“You want to go to America?” Quade’s happy feeling fell away. She felt disappointed. Which was silly. Quade always knew that Penny would be leaving Axedale sometime, so what did it matter if it was London or America, or Timbuktu. She would leave, and the thought hurt her.
“I want to launch my brand overseas, in every country. I’ve made my name here, so it’s the next step.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Penny let go of her hand and turned around to face her. “What do you mean, why?”
Quade felt some annoyance building inside her. “Why is it the next step? You’ve a successful business. I assume you have enough money, going by the Ferrari sitting in your driveway, so why t
he need to go abroad?”
“Because you’ve got to keep going, keep changing, keep moving, or you’ll be left behind. The business world I’m operating in is getting bigger and bigger. There are more and more competitors in the field of food vloggers. I have to keep pushing.”
“What’s wrong with standing still to enjoy life?” Quade said with anger in her voice.
Penny pulled back from her. “Why do you sound so annoyed all of a sudden?”
“I’m not annoyed. I just think you’re missing out on life, because your head is constantly in your phone or your tablet. If you looked up, you would see a life waiting for you.”
“I have a life, thank you, Sammy. A very active social life in London.”
Quade snorted and sat forward in her seat. “So I saw on the apps you put on my phone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? And why has this conversation suddenly turned into an argument?” Penny snapped.
“It hasn’t. I just think you should slow down and enjoy life.”
“Oh, you do, do you? People have told me that my whole life, but look where I got to? Millions of followers and a thriving business.”
“Followers, not friends,” Quade said.
Penny looked hurt.
I’ve blown it. Idiot. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just wonder when it will ever be enough.” Quade stood up and said, “Dougal, come on. Thanks for dinner. I’ll call around for Princess tomorrow.” Penny was quiet. So she patted Princess and walked to the door. “I’m sorry if I ruined tonight. I just want—”
Quade wanted to say, she wanted more, she wanted to know Penny was going to stay, but Penny was never going to be a farmer’s wife.
“It doesn’t matter.” Quade walked out the door.
Chapter Twelve
Penny was lying in bed feeling utterly depressed, with Princess curled up at her side. Why had her perfect evening turned into an argument? Their time together always seemed to.
Quade was so kind and understanding, and even when she had freaked out about the nearly kiss, Quade had taken it in her stride and offered her hand, without pressure to take it.