by R T Green
I doubted she could possibly know about the old movie, but right then got the feeling that somehow she understood.
Chapter 39
We played for ages in the snow like six-year-olds. The thought crossed my mind it was a good job there was only one other couple staying in the hotel, who were probably doing something much more intelligent and grown up, so wouldn't see us anyway. But I was having so much fun regressing to my childhood I dismissed the thought, and went back to attempting to get the better of Zana.
We ran around the grounds defacing the smooth blanket of snow with a thousand footprints, an ongoing snowball fight resulting in me suffering the most. Most of the time I was the one with very cold melting snow trickling down the back of my neck, as Zana made sure I knew winter had arrived early.
I watched her as she laughed beautifully, a woman being a little girl again. So full of innocence, it looked like she’d never had a bad thought in her life. I knew she was over-compensating once more, desperate to find a few shreds of happiness in an impossible situation. Craving for the last crumbs of memories to cling to and cherish when… when harsh reality came back and reared its ugly head.
I knew exactly how she felt. The suitcase with its horrific contents belonged in another time. But as far away as that suitcase might be, it could never be far enough.
Not when its owner was boring her way into my soul, and feeling like she would stay there forever.
I caught her out once, a rare moment of stillness giving me an opportunity, as she gently shook the branches of a tree to watch the snow fall off. I'd already endured a multitude of snowballs in the face, so I decided it was payback time.
She was facing away. Quickly I grabbed the biggest armful of snow I could, and wrapped my hands around her head so she couldn't run. She squealed, gloved hands cupping around mine as she helped press the snow into her face.
She turned to me, her skin bright red and her green eyes alive, found a lump of snow still sitting on her left shoulder. I let her rub it slowly around my cheeks.
‘I love… I love snow,’ she whispered, pressed cold lips into mine, and ran off towards the broad.
We stood on the end of a small landing stage, arms wrapped around each other, gazing across the cold-looking blue-grey water.
‘It's beautiful here,’ Zana said as she rested her head on my shoulder. ‘I can see why you loved it so much as a girl.’
‘This is a first for me though; never seen it in the winter before.’
‘Then we're sharing a first.’ She wrapped her arms around my neck, kissed me softly. ‘I wish it could stay like this forever.’ Suddenly her voice was shaky, and even through our thick coats I could feel her body trembling.
‘I do too,’ I said quietly.
She lifted her head, sad eyes piercing into mine. ‘Do you Madeline… do you really?’
‘Really.’
The sun had dipped behind the trees. A slight breeze rippled the surface of the broad, and wafted around us. The day was drawing to its close. I saw Zana's eyes misting over, wasn't sure if it was the effects of the snow or something else. But she was shivering, and it was time to find some warmth.
‘Shall we go get cozy?’ I smiled to her.
She nodded, and we walked slowly back to the house. As we left the shore I noticed a double seat nestling in the trees, a sofa made of logs positioned to give two people a perfect view of the broad.
For a moment the dull ache was back. I knew then where we would be when I took the deepest breath of my life, and told Zana the truth.
But that was tomorrow. There was still time today to make another memory or two.
Chapter 40
Zana's clothes began to come off as soon as she was a foot inside our room. First the Zhivago hat and gloves, slung onto the bed. Then the red coat, dropping to the floor as she walked.
A couple of hops and skips around the bed, and the boots were flung aside. I started to do the same, saw her grab something from her bag, and then just before the door to the en-suite she and the jumper parted company.
‘You joining me, deWinter?’ she laughed. ‘Haha, deWinter… you've got the right name today!’
She disappeared into the bathroom as I undressed in world record time, and then heard her call out, ‘Shower or bath?’
‘With the speed you’re moving it had better be the shower… that bath will take far too long to fill!’
‘You getting naked or what?’ She called back. As I reached the bathroom she turned and walked over-seductively to the shower, glanced back as she stepped inside and turned a knob. I grabbed a couple of towels, and then heard her squeal loudly.
‘What?’ I cried out, half-concerned but knowing it was likely to be something silly.
It was. ‘It tickles!’ She giggled like the little girl again. I opened the curved shower doors and laughed. She'd turned on the horizontal water jets, and was facing away from me jigging up and down with her arms around her breasts.
I grabbed her shoulders from behind to stop the jiggling. ‘You're an…’ I started to say, but Zana's head tipped back, and her lips against mine and her tongue inside my mouth made finishing the sentence impossible. As we kissed I turned on the top shower head, and wonderful warm water cascaded over us like a waterfall.
I held her tight, her butt melting into my crotch so perfectly. The sudden change in her from a little girl to a sensuous woman turned me on instantly. She was taking deep, rapid breaths. And then for the first time she turned to face me, and I realised what she’d grabbed from her bag just before she slipped into the shower.
There was a glint in her eyes. ‘Do you like cock as well, Maddie?’
‘That was all I’d known before you came along,’ I gasped, my eyes transfixed on the big dildo cradled seductively in her hands.
She gasped. ‘Really?’
I nodded, unable to find more words as she slid the phallus slowly up and down between my breasts. ‘So now you’ve got the best of both worlds.’
Then she was kissing me again, devouring me, giving no mercy as her passion took over. I reached for the gel, began to soap her back as the dildo slowly dropped lower, felt myself tighten as the soap made the softness of her skin even silkier.
‘Do you want it inside you?’ she whispered, not waiting for an answer as the knob reached my clit and made me cry out.
I parted my legs a little, closed my eyes as the dildo slipped just inside me, and was withdrawn again.
‘You fucking tease,’ I breathed, my clit pounding away just as much as my heart.
‘Share with me, Madeline.’
Then she wasn’t touching me anymore. I opened my eyes. The phallus was between her legs, her eyes wide, passion blazing into me. The hot water cascaded over her, making her olive skin glisten as her abs tightened and the dildo began to slip inside her.
I couldn’t stop myself, I grabbed it, eased her back against the shower wall and thrust it into her.
‘I want it all...’ she cried out, frantic hands cupping my breasts. She screamed as I did what she wanted, her crotch arching towards me as she took it all. ‘Harder...’ she breathed, as my other hand slid around her buttock to pull her even more into it.
Every millimetre was sinking into her, getting me closer to coming without her even touching my clit. Then she cried out, ‘Stop!’
She pushed me away, turned her back to me again, bending over and parting her legs. ‘Fuck me...’
Again I did as she asked, filling her in one slow movement as she took all of it with ease.
I held it still, drinking in the erotic sensations taking me higher with every second. She swore at me, flexed and contorted, wanting me to thrust. I wouldn't let her take control.
Then I could take the stillness no more, slid it almost out of her then thrust it back in, feeling her tighten around it with every push. She was gasping for breath, her fists clenching and unclenching against the tiled wall, her head shaking from side to side. The water cascaded across her
butt, sending incredible sensations around my clit as the warmth mingled with her wetness.
‘Oh fuck…’ the words were only just audible as she exploded into a climax, my left hand gripping her shoulder to force her harder into it. Still she came, an orgasm that just wouldn't end, her body almost doubling up as she screamed even louder. I thrust harder and harder, she begged me to stop but I wouldn't.
‘I can't take any more!’ Finally I allowed her to break free, she fell onto the shower floor gasping for air. Green eyes of fire glared at me as she grabbed the dildo, a smile on her lips. ‘You bitch…’ she said, her voice hoarse and husky.
‘What happened to sharing?’ I gasped, reaching down, pulling her to her feet. She threw herself against me, kissed me so hard it hurt. And then the dildo was inside me, filling me completely as her body pinned me against the shower wall. ‘Do you want the pleasure or the pain?’ she whispered in my ear.
‘Both...’ I managed to say. Her lips wouldn't leave mine, she thrust hard, again and again, I cried out every time it filled me. I could feel her nipples, rock hard against my breasts, her trembling hand slicing uncontrollably through my hair, refusing to allow my lips to break away from hers. So high, so tight around the dildo she had to push harder and harder.
I could hold on no longer, screamed like I'd never done before as pain and pure ecstasy took me to a place I’d never been. On and on, never-ending, too much to bear. Then she was still, pulling me gently against her as the kisses became soft and delicate.
My legs wouldn't work anymore. I sank to my knees, Zana slipping down the shower wall with me. Her shaking hands wrapped around my head, laid it against her shoulder. Then she was motionless, exhausted arms looped around my neck, just the faintest of movement in her fingertips as they caressed the skin of my back.
I had no idea how long we stayed like that, it felt like forever as we both came down from incredible highs. It was Zana who finally spoke, lifting her head and giving me a cheeky smile.
‘I'm starving!’ she said.
Chapter 41
As we sat in the restaurant eating the dinner Zana so desperately needed, I tried to find out a bit more of her past.
‘Calandura… that sounds Spanish, or something like.’
‘Yes, yes it is.’
‘Did you have a happy childhood?’
‘I suppose so.’
‘You don't sound too sure.’
She lifted her head, looked at me in a slightly exasperated way. ‘My people are evil, Madeline.’
‘Evil?’ I said, shocked.
‘They have no heart or soul.’
‘But you do.’
She looked down at her plate again. ‘I… I do now.’
I reached out, put a hand under her chin to lift her head gently. ‘Do you want to explain that?’
She kissed my fingers delicately. ‘I suppose I always felt a bit different; kind of knew there was a heart in there somewhere. But when I came here, got to know a few Brits and then… then there was you.’
‘Should I be humbled by that?’
‘Yes you should. You're responsible for a lot of changes… in me.’
I knew exactly what she meant. ‘Guess I could say the same.’
She smiled. ‘Then we must be good for each other.’
I rocked my hand from side to side, said, ‘hmm’ with a grin, and then caught Zana's narrow-eyed stare. ‘As you already know, that was the understatement of the century,’ I said to redeem myself. ‘Just wish I could understand what is happening to me.’
‘Don't you know?’
The waiter appeared, poured our coffees and left the pot on the table. Zana leaned back in her chair and looked through the window at the whiteness illuminated by the outside lights. ‘We made a real mess of that nice smooth snow,’ she laughed.
‘There's a challenge tomorrow then… count the footprints.’
‘Oh yes,’ she grinned back. ‘That'll take me at least a day and a half, so we'll have to stay another night!’
My stomach churned.
If only.
I felt her hand curl around mine. ‘Tell me about your father. How long since you spoke to him?’
‘About three months I think. He was in Tobago; met a local girl, said he was going to settle down there. But he's had itchy feet for the last ten years so it wouldn't surprise me if he's somewhere else now.’
‘You should call him.’
‘I will.’
My hand was squeezed a little harder. ‘Families are important, Madeline. Promise me you'll call him?’
I nodded. ‘Promise.’
‘You need to pass on my thanks anyway,’ she grinned.
‘For what?’
‘For making you in the first place, and then dragging you kicking and screaming to Norfolk!’
We slipped into bed an hour later. The child-like fun and games in the snow had tired us, the very adult fun and games in the shower taken its toll a little more. The bed felt like heaven.
But for Zana the day wasn't quite over. She'd switched off the lights and opened the drapes so the moon bathed the room in a white winter light, and then stretched out on top of me, kissing me softly.
She intoxicated me. The faint light reflecting off the snow outside was just enough to see her by, but not so bright as to intrude on my other senses. I could feel every inch of her, smell her sweetness and touch her tenderness.
She was hardly moving, but the almost imperceptible arching of her back made sure her crotch gently caressed mine. I could feel myself getting turned on again, incredibly, she was hardly moving. But I wasn't horny, the furious intensity of the shower gone. This was something else.
Delicate, beautiful kisses spoke a thousand silent words; her hair hanging down each side of my face brushed against my cheeks and formed a silky blonde curtain that shut out all vision, meant there was only her. Softly my hands caressed her back, slowly, delicately, seeming to float across her contours. Then gently she slipped off me, pressed her body against my side, and a finger began to caress my clit.
Still she hardly moved, just the tip of her finger getting me higher. I did the same, her clit like a pebble, responding to my tiny movements so beautifully. Lost in the serenity, I wasn't thinking about control or having to make it happen.
I knew I didn't need to.
We came together, silently, the most beautiful mellow feeling I had ever known filling every particle of my body and soul. It lasted forever, the quite stillness enhancing already-perfect sensations.
Zana's head moved, almost startling me away from the tranquillity. She kissed me one last time. ‘Goodnight, Madeline,’ she whispered, the first words spoken since we first fell into bed.
I lay there a while, watching the moonlight reflecting off the ornate ceiling, allowing the amazing feelings to take me somewhere. And I realised I'd just achieved another milestone in my life.
Maybe, despite the intense passion, the pain and the sheer eroticism, I’d come close to it before with Zana. But after what just happened there could be no doubt, now I could no longer deny it.
For the first time in my life, I’d not had sex with someone.
I'd made love to her.
Chapter 42
I woke suddenly. The morning sunlight streamed through the window, I could see clear blue sky above the trees.
I wondered if something had woken me, but then realization hit home. I laid my head back on the pillow, eyes staring at the ceiling but seeing nothing. My heart was already beating harder than it should, the dreaded feeling back in my gut.
I glanced at Zana, still asleep beside me. She looked so serene and peaceful, one arm looped over the top of the duvet, a few strands of hair fallen across her face.
I reached out to move them away so I could see her better, but stopped myself. I couldn’t disturb her, disturb this time for me.
It may well be the last chance I had to drink in her beauty, on my own terms at least.
For an age I lay there list
ening to her shallow breathing, longing to touch her but resisting the urge. Once or twice she murmured and moved a little, screwed up her face like she was dreaming. I hoped she wasn't in a bad place; knew I could no longer bear the thought of her being in any kind of pain.
Suddenly I began to choke up, gazing at her too much to cope with. I slipped quietly out of the bed and stood by the window, looking out at the myriad of footprints in the snow made yesterday by two daft happy children.
But happy was yesterday.
Today was… today.
Somehow in the midst of a harsh reality, we had managed to make precious memories. They wouldn’t be able to take those away from us. The thought comforted me a little, but couldn't keep my eyes from misting over as the hopelessness of our situation tried to overwhelm me.
I rubbed my face vigorously, a vain attempt to clear images of the near future I didn't want to see. Harsh reality was already knocking on the door, and in an hour or two when Zana learned the truth, I would have no choice but to open it and let the demon storm through.
‘Wakey wakey!’
Zana opened her eyes, turned to face me as I stood next to the bed, and gave me a lovely smile.
‘Your bath is ready, madam.’
She squealed, scrambled out of bed to head for the bathroom, but stopped at the window. ‘Aw, it's not snowed again.’
‘Perhaps a good thing, we have to drive home today.’
She scowled at me. ‘Did you have to say that?’
I kind of wished I hadn't, for both of us. I took her hand and held it as she slipped into the bubbles frothing over the sides of the cast-iron bath.
‘You may join me if you wish, maid,’ she giggled. ‘Especially as you're already naked!’
I did as instructed, lay back on the opposite end to Zana. Then two legs were plonked unceremoniously on top of me. ‘You may kiss my feet too, servant,’ she laughed. ‘Sorry, I meant massage.’