She sighed and lay back on the bed with her arms folded behind her head. I could tell that she was thinking hard about everything, like whether I was certifiable. I had to fight myself not to get lost in the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.
She stood and walked to the table for the coffee that had to be cold now and finished it off. I waited for her to figure out where she stood on things. If she chose not to be a part of this world, I didn't know what I'd do. I couldn't just let her walk away. She was too important for me to do that. I knew that if she did somehow decide to go back, I would have to follow her because I couldn't live a single day without her now that I'd had her. Unfortunately, that would cause problems with my pack. It was inevitable that it would compromise my position as Volsunga.... Was it better to abdicate my position in the pack than go through the rest of my life as an incomplete shell because my soul would be so far away?
"How could they have stayed married for so long?" she whispered.
"They may not have known," I replied, realizing that she was talking about her mother and Alan. Though I doubted her mother wouldn't have known about Alan, it was possible that Alan didn't know about her. Witches had a unique scent that a Lycan couldn't deny. I knew that Abigail was a Witch from the beginning because she smelled like herbs and wax. I lacked the ability to smell the acrid stench I had often heard described.
She stared at me for a moment, as if she hadn't expected me to answer. I wondered if she even realized that she'd voiced the question. "How is that possible?" she asked.
"If a Lycan is powerful enough, he or she can control when and how often they shift. That means a Lycan can stop shifting if it means protecting themselves or someone they feel they need to protect. In your mother's case, I'd be willing to bet that she did it to protect both of you. Witches don't have much that they have to hide. All they need to do is keep their magic somewhere outside of the house. I'd be willing to bet that Alan did that so that your mother wouldn't become suspicious. The odds are high that she did know because it's hard to stand near a Witch, smell them, and not want to react in some way. Their smell is acrid to our noses. It's sharp and strong and makes it hell when you're in a neutral zone."
"Neutral zone?" she asked. "What's that?"
"Places like schools, stores, airports, and hospitals are neutral areas," I explained. "That means that we have to coexist in those places without stirring up trouble. Those who violate that law are usually dealt with by the Hunters."
"What are Hunters?"
"They're the only humans in the world who know about us. Our history tells us that they're what's left of the human line of the First. Some people believe that his second child from before his transformation is the origin of the line. Others think that that they're the group that didn't want revenge for being stuck as humans."
Ceres let out a long, slow breath. "So, what happens next?" she asked.
"You decide if you're staying here or not," I replied. "If you stay here, Dad will induct you into Vanilla Moon. If you go back to New York, you'll have to find a way to get in touch with the pack out there and I'll follow you. Your third option is to go to Scotland and join your father's pack, and again, I'll follow you."
"Why would you follow me?" she asked. "What does it mean if I leave?"
"Lycans mate for life," I said. "When we find the one person who turns our life completely inside-out, we cannot live without them. We become so ill that our bodies shut down, though we usually go completely insane first. The farther away the mate is, the faster the symptoms progress. Most mated pairs die within three days of separation. You and I haven't mated yet. We could survive the separation, but neither of us would feel complete and our instincts would bring us back together."
"Holy shit...."
"There's also the fact that I'm Volsunga of the pack here," I added before she could ask another question.
"Vole-what?" she asked.
"Vole-soon-gah," I clarified. "There's no literal translation of the word, but it means prince. I'm the heir to the throne, so to speak. When my father dies, I'm the next in line to step up and lead the pack, depending on the circumstances of his death."
"What circumstances?"
"If I kill him or he dies of 'natural' causes, I become Enkidu. If someone else comes to the pack, fights for the right of succession and wins, I have no claim to the pack and would have to fight him to reclaim it. When my grandfather died, it was because a Vargulf, a rouge Lycan, found his way into the pack and challenged him. Since my father was in Nevada, the way to my grandfather was clear. He lost the fight and his life. My grandmother, to save the pack, challenged the same man. He took her life as well. Three days later, my father came out here, challenged the man who killed his parents, and won the pack from him. Then he called for us to join him."
"So, what if someone else kills him?" she asked. "What if he dies in battle or something?"
"Then I default to Enkidu," I said. "The only other option is for him to admit that he's too weak to hold the pack and gives me rights." Those were the only other circumstances where my father could pass on the pack to me without me having to kill him. To tell the truth, my father was my best friend, so the thought of wanting to kill him was more than enough to make my stomach churn. I didn't want to kill my father. I would be just fine if he somehow managed to die of old age, but then again, by that time, I might be too old to take over the pack. In most cases, one had to die, or be close to death, for another to rise. It was a painful truth in the packs.
For a few minutes, we sat in silence. Ceres retreated to the table and started eating a bit more food. I followed her and tried to join. Whether she realized it or not, the future of an entire pack rest on the decision she made right here and now. How she could eat bacon... I didn't know.
She sighed and met my gaze as she chewed her lip again. "Where will I live?" she asked. "I can't stay in this motel room forever."
I almost didn't dare believe my ears. "You can pretty much live wherever you want, I have no problems with it," I replied with caution in my voice. "There are plenty of apartments for rent in my complex, or there are a few houses if you'd like...."
"If I'm your mate, wouldn't it be beneficial to move in with you? From what I understand, my instinct is going to want to be near you all the time, right?"
Again, I didn't dare believe. "If that's what you want, I have no complaints or objections," I answered. I wondered if she could sense how nervous I was about saying the wrong thing.
"What is Alan going to do?" she asked, meeting my eyes with worry etched on her face.
I shrugged. "I can't know that for sure," I answered as best as I could. "I'd love to tell you that he'll just let things be, but I can't see him doing that. He's fought too hard and long to make things go his way in this town and anything that happens outside of that is an affront to his very being. If you choose to be with me over being his daughter, it could set off a chain reaction that will lead to the battle this town has been waiting for."
She let out a bitter chuckle. "So, I'm the red button that turns a cold war hot," she said with spite. She sighed before she stood up and walked over to the window. She pulled the blinds open and looked out over the snow-covered world outside. "All of the sudden, I feel like the fate of the world rests on my shoulders. I feel as though I'm teetering on the edge of a sword and that if I make just one wrong move, I'll fall and kill myself...."
She wasn't far off. Anyone else in the world could have made this choice without worrying. She wasn't anyone else though. She was the assumed daughter of the most powerful Witch in Adamsville and the mate of the Volsunga. It put her in a place where it mattered a great deal if she chose to fall one way or the other because she was pivotal to each group. However, if she chose to fall to Alan's side, he would know very soon that she wasn't his daughter. She wouldn't be able to do the things he'd want her to, especially when it came to the silver.
The only difference between what she said and what was reality,
was that she was the one least likely to die because of her choices. My pack and Alan's coven were the ones at risk. I knew that whichever love was more important to her would be the deciding factor; it would be either the love of a father or that of a lover. I could only cross my fingers and pray that she fell to my side because I knew that if I pushed, I would push her to him.
It was in that moment that her cell phone started ringing. Ceres sighed before she fetched it from the nightstand. She answered the call and I couldn't help but note the irritation in her voice. "Hello?" she asked.
I could hear Alan's voice on the other end, thanks to my enhanced senses. "Ceres, I need to talk to you; it's very urgent. Is Wolfgang gone? Are you free to talk?"
"I don't have anything to say to you right now," she replied. "He explained everything to me. I know your origins and I know about your war. I find the whole thing to be completely childish. I think you should get down off your high horse and just let there be peace between your people."
"Whatever he's told you is a lie, Ceres."
"Oh, so you mean to tell me that you're not a Witch?" she demanded.
Alan sighed. "I am a Witch," he conceded. "As are Addie and Abigail. Ceres, that means that you are as well."
"No, it doesn't," Ceres said as she met my eyes. "Addie and Abigail aren't part of the equation. Neither are you. I'm not your daughter, Alan." My eyes widened. She was making her choice. "Mom told me the truth when Derek showed up. She was pregnant with me before the two of you even got married. I'm Derek's daughter. They aren't Witches."
There was silence on Alan's end of the line. For about a full minute, Ceres let the silence stretch on. "Goodbye," she said before she pulled the phone away from her ear and ended the call. She tossed her phone down to the bed before she returned to the table and sat down in the chair. She stared at the world as if she wasn't seeing anything in front of her.
I watched as a tear made a slow trail down her cheek. Before it reached her chin, I was kneeling at her side, brushing it away. Ceres looked down at me and I saw more tears fall. "Why do I feel like the world just ended?" she whispered.
I sighed. "Because the one you used to know just did," I whispered.
She flung her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder as she started to cry in earnest. Her sobs shook us both and she slid off the chair and onto the floor in front of me. I could do nothing but hold her, rock her from side to side, and promise her that it would all work out soon enough... somehow.
Chapter 9 ~Ceres~
I didn't know what to think or believe. The world seemed to be imploding all around me, and there was nothing I could do to prevent the collapse. I was spiraling out of control and the only steady thing I could hold onto was Wolfgang. In less than a week, I had grown to trust him more than I had trusted anyone in my entire life. That included the twins who, before now, no one had been able to surpass. They still held their standing as my sisters, but Wolfgang had become something more. He had gone beyond what I thought was possible. It astonished me that we were so close so fast.
I'd listened to him talk to me as though it made sense to my brain. My logical side kept telling me that he had slung a string of bullshit so thick and smelly that there was no way I couldn't recognize it. The baser side of me, the part of me that still gathered around a fire and was afraid of what lurked in the dark, knew that he told me the truth. When Alan called, I couldn't stop myself from asking him. He would prove that Wolfgang was lying or that he was telling me the truth. I wasn't prepared to know that he was telling me the truth yet, even if my instincts already did.
I lost control. I'd kept myself so tightly clamped shut that nothing but logic was getting through. If I could rationalize things, no matter how irrational they were, I could get through this. I could hold on to that one little measure of doubt in me that let me retain my sensibilities. The moment Alan confessed to being a Witch, I didn't know what to do. I was numb in that moment. I told him the truth. I made it as far as the table before the first crack in the dam of my emotions showed. The moment Wolfgang reacted to that tear I knew that there was no holding back. I dissolved. I fell to pieces in his arms and he was ready to catch me.
I stayed in the circle of his arms long after I'd stopped crying. I almost fell asleep in his embrace, but I had the sense of mind to avoid that outcome. Wolfgang lifted me off the floor with an ease that I didn't know was possible. He laid me down on the motel bed before he curled up next to me, letting me decide how much comfort I wanted from him.
"This isn't a dream, is it?" I whispered, meeting Wolfgang's eyes in the darkness of the room.
He shook his head. "No," he replied in a tender voice. I could hear in his voice how he wanted to make it a dream, just for me. He wanted to take it all back so that I wouldn't have to live with it. I'd pressed for answers. I'd made him tell me before he was ready. Before I was ready. Of course, in that moment, I wasn't expecting to find out that everything I'd seen in horror movies was true. I was expecting it to be about what had happened between him and Abigail. I suppose, in a way, it still was, but it was more than that now. The hatred between them goes far beyond a bad breakup.
I reached for him and he scooted closer to me, engulfing me in a blanket of his body so that he could shelter me from the world. I wanted to stay in the circle of his arms forever, but I knew that wasn't possible. The world would still be waiting for us when we moved.
"What do I need to know?" I asked.
"Everything," he said with a slight chuckle. "Pack structure, shifting, healing, mating, fighting, and everything else that comes with the territory."
"Can I stay with you?" I asked. "I don't want to be here anymore, and I don't want to be alone."
He nodded. "Whenever you're ready, we can go to my apartment. We'll get you checked out and packed so that you don't have to worry."
I nodded. "Thank you," I said.
Wolfgang kissed my forehead. "Anything for you, my love," he whispered.
An hour and a half later, Wolfgang and I walked through the door of his apartment. It was obvious that it was a bachelor pad belonging to a man in his twenties. The couch looked second-hand and empty beer bottle-ashtrays littered the coffee table. There were books and video games scattered around the front room and a scent in the air that I wanted to call sex. Stale sex, beer, and cigarettes. Yeah... it was a bachelor pad.
"I'm sorry about the mess," Wolfgang said as he shut the door behind me. We put my suitcases down near the front door. "Riley probably had some people over while he had the place to himself. Either that, or the storm bored him."
I chuckled. "Don't worry about it," I said. "I can help clean up," I offered. I had two reasons for doing so. One: I didn't want to live in this mess. Two: It gave me something to do to keep my mind off everything else.
"Hold that thought," Wolfgang said before he went to the back of the apartment. I watched him walk down the hallway and stop at a door. He knocked loudly. "Riley!" he called through the wood.
The door opened and the same person who had come looking for Wolfgang yesterday was on the other side. "The prodigal son returns," he muttered. "What?"
"Get up and get dressed," Wolfgang said. "We've got some cleaning to do."
"The fuck?" Riley asked with a shocked note to his voice. "What's the deal?" he asked.
Wolfgang pointed to me. Riley turned his head and I saw him stiffen as he backed into his room. "Give me five minutes," he said before he shut the door in Wolfgang's face. He chuckled and started walking back toward me.
"You remember Riley?" he asked. I nodded. "He'll be out to help us in a few minutes. Until then, we can get started, or, you can sit on the couch and not lift a finger because it's not your mess. Either option is fine."
I chuckled and chose to help because it's what I do. Five minutes later, Riley walked out into the living room to get started. Wolfgang passed the introductions and Riley and I shook hands. He started helping us clean and within an hour, we had almost everyth
ing done. There was a load of dishes in the dishwasher and another waiting in the sink. The carpet still needed vacuuming and we still needed to sweep and mop the linoleum, but at last the apartment was livable.
Riley, I quickly discovered, was the class clown type. Every few minutes, he was doing or saying something to make us laugh. They looked more as if they were brothers than cousins, and that made me wonder how close their parents looked to each other on both sides.
I learned a lot about Riley while we cleaned. He loved heavy metal, hated touching things that had been in peoples' mouths (thus he picked up every beer bottle by the bottom label instead of the neck), and he couldn't stand the sound of the garbage disposal eating up old pizza slices. He also worked at the Vanilla Moon as the night manager (Vanilla Moon was the name of both the diner I met Wolfgang in and the local pack), and he couldn't decide which was better: Alcohol or women. Most days he preferred both. He was also the smoker.
I knew Selena would adore him if they ever met. However, I wouldn't likely introduce them because I didn't want to run the risk that she was human. They would never have a chance if she was.
Riley seemed completely unsurprised when Wolfgang mentioned that I was moving in. He was aware that I was Wolfgang's mate and thus, logically, I would have to move in. They spent about twenty minutes talking about it in the living room while I worked on scrubbing a few of the remaining dishes. It was easier than just waiting for the dishwasher to finish running. I could hear the occasional line or two from their conversation, but I didn't catch enough of it to understand what they said. From what I could hear, Riley was somewhat disgruntled that we were moving this fast and wished that we would slow down. I heard the word "mate” tossed around a few times as well.
I waited for them to finish without saying anything. I concentrated on the dishes because it kept my mind off other things. By the time the dishwasher finished, so had I and there was no point in another load. They were still talking, so I fished the broom and dustpan out of the corner they hid in and started taking care of the floor. When I finished throwing away what I'd swept, Wolfgang walked away from Riley, looking somewhat irritated.
Vanilla Moon: Awakening Page 9