"Come on, Abby," Alan said. He grunted and I assumed he pulled her up to her feet. "We're going to get you checked out and then we're going to find the dogs that did this to you."
Wolfgang and I continued to wait. It was only after the door shut at the top of the stairs that I dared look around. We were in what looked like a changing room. There were robes hanging from cubbies along one wall and a vanity along the back wall. There was a claw-footed tub in the room as well. "Where are we?" I whispered.
Wolfgang looked around. "No idea," he replied. I watched his eyes narrow on the robes before he looked at us. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to run the risk of the entire town seeing me in my birthday suit. What do you say about the two of us stealing a couple of those robes to high-tail it out of here in?"
I nodded, agreeing with him. I was thankful that I'd lost myself enough that my nudity hadn't been an issue for me while Abigail was in the room with us. Aside from that, I didn't want to be running down the street completely naked and not knowing where to go.
Wolfgang and I grabbed robes, which the Witches had divided by sex. For the women, there were smaller robes that were violet in color with silver embroidery all over them. The robes for the men were blue with gold embroidery. We put them on in haste, even though we didn't want to touch them. I started to feel nauseous the moment the silky fabric touched my skin. I could tell that Wolfgang felt the same.
We exchanged disgusted looks before Wolfgang moved to the open door to look out. When he decided that the coast was clear, he guided me out of the changing room. We crept up the wooden staircase as quiet as we possibly could. At the top of the stairs, Wolfgang pressed his ear against the door. I couldn't hear anything, but it was obvious that he did. "They're leaving," he whispered.
We waited a few minutes more before Wolfgang tried the doorknob. When it didn't turn, he growled. "Locked," he muttered. He gripped the doorknob with both hands and grunted as he turned it, breaking the lock inside. He eased the door open, just to make sure it was clear. It wasn't.
"What the hell?" we heard someone ask. Wolfgang and I both froze, realizing that we were going to have to fight our way out of the house. Wolfgang hesitated before he shoved the door open. It slammed against someone on the other end and I heard a thud on the other side of the door as that person hit the floor. Wolfgang eased around the door and looked out before pushing it open further and stepping out.
I followed him. On the other side of the door, a man lay unconscious on the floor. He looked like Alan, which made me wonder if he was one of the uncles I'd never met. Two other people came running toward us. Wolfgang and I exchanged quick glances before we braced for the fight.
In teaching me how to be able to fight, Wolfgang had talked about a Lycan's ability to transform only parts of their bodies. Lycans could transform their hands into claws and use them as weapons. He hadn't gone over the specifics, but I saw how his hands transformed in the blink of an eye. I had an urge to trust my instincts, so I took in a deep breath and prayed that they would help me out here.
It all seemed to take ages to happen, even though it was only a matter of moments. Time just... slowed down, I guess. As they reached us, both Wolfgang and I moved so that they collided with our fists instead of our bodies. The impact of my hand as it hit my opponent sent a shockwave up my arm. Her feet seemed to come out from under her as her head and torso went back. She fell on the ground with a thud and I followed her movement. By that moment, I didn't have a hand anymore.
For a moment, I wondered if she was one of the people who had cried out for my death. Alan and Addie had survived, so it seemed logical that others could have also survived. She stared up at me with wide, bulging blue eyes. Her red hair sprawled around her head and made me think of blood. The wolf inside of me still wanted the blood denied to me on the hunt. She was trembling with her fear and I noticed how sweet it smelled. It heightened everything. I felt myself give her a chilling smile and the panic in her eyes grew to something beyond terror.
Then, without even thinking about it, my claws burst through her chest. I felt her sternum break and the bones scrape against my flesh as my hand burrowed into her. My fingertips touched her heart and I molded my hand around that precious muscle. I squeezed, just a tiny fraction, and I felt that muscle flutter in my hand. Her face contorted with breathless pain and the knowledge that I held her life in my hand flooded me. "I'll see you in hell," I whispered before I closed my fist around her heart and ripped it out of her chest. Blood gushed out of her body in an arc that followed my hand and her heart. It splattered me and the smell was sharp and bitter. I held her gaze as the spark of life left them. It was the most surreal thing I had ever experienced. In the back of my mind, I knew that I was going to pay for this later.
I stood. Wolfgang stared at me in absolute horror. I looked at the heart in my hands before I let it slip out of my limp fingers. My hand was normal once again, but blood covered it to well above my wrist. I stared at my hand as it started to tremble. What the hell did I just do?
Wolfgang swallowed before he reached for my clean hand and began to run. He pulled me along with him and we burst out of the back door of the house into the bright mid-afternoon sunlight. Everything seemed too bright. The sun, the sky, and the white world around us looked like it wasn't real.
Wolfgang kept a tight grip on my hand as he continued to run. I had no choice but to follow him wherever he decided to go.
It seemed that we'd caught them off guard. They didn't have many people at the house and our attack took them by surprise. No one followed us. We didn't dare let ourselves think that it meant we were in the clear. Not yet. Not until we were home.
Wolfgang and I looked at each other as we ran. Without a word, I knew what he wanted me to do. I nodded to him and he let me go. We leaped into the air and shifted form. It was seamless.... We could run faster as wolves than we could as people. I followed him through the outskirts of town. There were no people out. No cars on the road. It almost made me wonder if we were under some sort of spell that made us believe we'd escaped when we hadn't. I prayed that wasn't the case.
When we reached Leon and Ravyn's house, Wolfgang howled. The door burst open a moment later and out ran the Enkidu, Skaapie, and two of the four Guardians. Wolfgang shifted back and was nude once more. His parents hugged him. The problem for me was that I didn't know how to shift back at will yet. Wolfgang met my eyes and I followed him into the house. He walked into a room on the main floor and held the door open for me to pass through before he shut it.
I looked around the room and realized we were in a den of sorts. Wolfgang collapsed on the large sofa and patted the cushion beside him. I jumped onto the couch and huffed a sigh. "Focus on being human again," he said. "It's the only way to change back without sleeping it off."
I focused on my human body. I knew every inch of it. I focused on the feel of fingers instead of paws, of legs and toes, of a spine that didn't cover the length of my body and a back that held me upright. I closed my eyes, and continued to think of hair instead of fur, a nose instead of a snout, and lips and teeth that didn't snarl or rip and tear.
I felt my wolf body melt away. One moment I was a furry, four-legged creature, the next I was a naked human woman. My hand was clean, but I still stared at it as if I could still see the blood that had coated it. My hand began to shake beyond my control, and it wasn't until Wolfgang reached for that hand and held it that I was able to look away. "I killed her," I whispered, looking up at his eyes. I saw my pain reflected in his gaze. He knew how this felt. He had killed before. He regretted it just as much as I did.
"Listen to me," he said, cupping my cheek with his other hand so that I wouldn't look away. "We were in a situation where we had to kill in order to avoid getting killed ourselves," he said. "You did exactly what you had to do."
"You didn't kill anyone," I whispered. "What made it different for me?"
"Yes, I did," Wolfgang confessed. "I just didn't reach into th
eir ribcage and pull their heart out. You don't have the control over your instincts and wolf that comes with years of practice. Wolves need to hunt, and we didn't finish our hunt last night."
"But... I enjoyed it," I whispered. I felt tears burn my eyes. My breathing was quick and shallow. "I wanted to do what I did. ...It made me feel... happy...."
"It usually does," Wolfgang said. For a moment, his shame made him look away from me. He cleared his throat as he met my eyes again. "You're not at fault," he said. "Instinct takes over when necessary. That happened to you today. You are still the woman you were yesterday; you just have another side now. So much has changed for you since last night, but you are still Ceres. You are still the woman that I love with all my heart and soul. You are still the woman who caught me off guard at the diner and made me completely lose myself. You are my mate," he whispered. "That will never change, no matter how desperate the situation is."
I nodded. "Okay," I said. I tried to let his words comfort me. On the surface, I would be okay, but I knew that this was going to bother me for a very long time.
Chapter 21 ~Wolfgang~
I was more disturbed by Ceres's first kill than I let her believe. I had seen the look on her face while she killed the woman and it had terrified me. I had never seen anyone look so calm and serene while killing someone else. She was the first person I had watched enjoy the kill. It was chilling. I didn't want to know how someone who could care and love as deep as she was capable of could turn around and kill in cold blood. If I knew that, I was afraid I would become that.
When the knock on the door sounded, I was grateful for the distraction. I stood and went to answer, knowing that the person on the other side was bringing us clothes. I opened the door and found my mother on the other side. "I don't know her size, so there are a couple of options there for her," she said as she handed me the large bundle.
I nodded as I accepted the clothes. "Thanks, Mom," I said.
She closed the door as I turned away from it. When I reached Ceres, I set down the clothes and grabbed the pants and shirts my mom had grabbed out of my old room. Ceres looked at the options that my mother brought for her and picked a pair of black pants and a navy-blue shirt. The shirt was short-sleeved, so it showed off her rose-vine tattoo.
Once we had finished getting dressed, I knew that it was time to talk to my father. Not only would my father want an explanation, he would demand one, regardless of whether we were ready or not. My heart pounded in my chest at the thought and I had that floating feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was at a point where I thought throwing up sounded like a good idea. I knew it was all because of one part of this conversation that I didn't want to have.
I kissed Ceres before I grabbed her hand and led her to the library. My father was pacing in front of the fireplace on the opposite side of the room from his desk. He usually only did that when something agitated or worried him. I guess I couldn't blame him for stressing about things. If I were in his position, I'd be doing laps as well.
He looked up as we entered the room. I let Ceres pass me before I shut the door. When we reached my father, we both bowed. It was a sign of respect, submission, and the fact that we knew that we were in trouble. I wondered if Riley had been able to get the message back to my father about what happened.
My father kissed us both before we stood. He stepped back so that he could look us over. "Riley informed us that a Witch appeared and attacked you," he said. "He said that you instructed him to find me and tell me what happened. What I want to know is why the two of you didn't go with him or run yourselves. How did you get caught?"
Ceres cleared her throat. "It was my fault," she said before I could speak. My father's piercing amber eyes snapped to her face. "When we smelled the Witch, Wolfgang made Riley go back to the pack. He wanted me to go as well, but I refused. I ran passed him, toward the Witch, and made him follow me. Wolfgang attacked him and there was an explosion. He flew against a tree, and so I attacked. He had a silver chain that prevented me from biting down on him the way that I wanted to. He stood with two balls of—Witchfire?" she asked me. I nodded. "That's when I recognized who he was. After that, I don't remember anything before waking up in the cement cell this morning."
"Who was the Witch?" Dad asked.
Ceres looked down at the floor. "Alan," she said.
My father went white as a sheet. We knew that Alan and Addie had survived the explosion. Abigail had told me that and when my father found me it was the only sentence I could mutter at him before he got me to the clinic. I knew the thought going through his head. The Witches knew our Hunting Grounds. That meant that they could find us during our weakest hours. That meant that we were in unbelievable danger.
My father swore. I stared at him in complete shock because it was so rare to hear him curse. I couldn't believe that he let something like that burst out of him. He looked at me. "What next?" he asked.
I sighed and shrugged. "We woke up in a ten-by-ten cell in the basement. There was no separation between the walls and floor. They were a complete cement block with a solid steel door. There was no doorknob on the inside, and it bolted closed from outside. I tried digging our way out of the room, but I didn't do anything more than injure myself. When Ceres woke, we realized that we were going to have to fight our way out of the house if we could find an opening. We mated—"
"You what?" my father shouted. I'd tried to slip that part by him, but he was too attentive.
Ceres and I both flinched. I'd known that this wouldn't go over well. Most of the time, couples can mate without a care in the world, but as the Volsunga, I’m not supposed to have that opportunity. "We needed to recharge in order to survive," I rushed, hoping that it would ease my father's anger. "We didn't know what we were up against and it was our only chance. When Abigail came in to deliver food, we took the chance to escape. Ceres knocked her out and when Alan and Addie realized something was wrong, they took her to the hospital, and we took our chance to escape. There were still some people at the house. The three that we encountered all died. Ceres killed one of them."
My father looked from me to her and stared at her. Ceres looked down at the floor, refusing to meet either of us in the eye. She mumbled something even I, standing right next to her, couldn't catch.
"What was that?"
Ceres glanced at my father and looked away again. "I didn't want to," she whispered. "It was like... instinct took over."
My father stepped up to her and held her chin in his thumb and forefinger. He tilted her face up and forced her to meet his warm blue eyes. "It happens to us all," he said. "During the first year, there are many changes that happen to the body and mind that it overpowers even the best of us. You don't need to feel ashamed of anything."
I saw a tear fall from Ceres's amber eyes and I realized what the kill had cost her. Everyone goes through it sooner or later. In a world where we're raised knowing that we're going to fight in a war, there isn't room for the fantasy that we won't have to kill anyone. Most Lycans don't find out what she's going through, this soon though. Some can wait decades before making their first kill. It's normal for the first kill to be instinctual. We're so human that the thought of killing anyone makes us cringe, but we're also so animal that we know that it's necessary. Considering humans are the only species in the world who kill each other for the hell of it, I have to wonder which part of us is human.
"You have come into our fold during a brutal war," my father said to my mate. "It is never easy to accept this life and when you do, you come to the knowledge that death is a vital part of it. No one can say that he or she will never kill; they can only say that they have yet to kill. The higher your place in the pack, the faster you will come to that inevitable moment. As the mate of the Volsunga, your place in this pack is at the top of the pyramid."
My father sighed before he looked at me. I'm sure he felt like a father whose child just ran away and eloped over the weekend with no hint beforehand. "I hope you know what you're doi
ng," he said. "There are those who will challenge her, especially since she is so new to our pack, unless she proves herself. You have put her in great danger by mating with her so early."
"She was already in great danger, Father," I replied. "My mating with her has only made her stronger."
My father sighed once more. He gave me a nod. "Go home, my son," he said before he gripped my shoulder. He pulled me into a hug, and I could smell a thousand emotions coming from him. He was doing everything he could to keep them contained. As the Enkidu, he couldn't let them get the better of him. Emotions were dangerous, especially in his position.
When he let me go, he surprised me by hugging Ceres. I could tell that he surprised her by the way the sudden display of affection made her tense and awkward as she hugged him back. When he let her go, I took her hand in mine and left the library. Riley was waiting for us by the front door. I didn't know who called him, but I was grateful for the ride. It would have been a long walk otherwise.
My cousin rushed toward us and hugged me. "I'm glad you're safe," he whispered. I let go of Ceres's hand long enough to hug him back. In Moab, we had become more like brothers than cousins. Now that he was here in Adamsville, that bond seemed to be becoming more and more concrete with each passing week. I was grateful to have him so close, and I hoped that one day, he would guard me as I ruled our pack.
We released each other and Riley turned to Ceres with a smile. "Let's get the two of you home, shall we?" he asked. Ceres and I both nodded.
When we reached the apartment, I led Ceres upstairs and back to our bedroom. She sat down on the bed without saying anything and stared at the world in front of her as if it didn't exist. I wanted to do something to make her feel okay again, but this was going to take a lot of time and self-analysis to overcome. All I could do was be there for her if she needed me to be.
Vanilla Moon: Awakening Page 20