Vanilla Moon: Awakening

by Airiel Hawkins

  I pulled her over to the bed with me and sat down. She sat down on my lap and I just held her for minute. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rest her head against mine. I loved the feeling of her in my arms. I loved the way she felt like a perfect fit. I sighed and closed my eyes. "You were happy today," I said. "I've never seen you with that much joy in your face."

  "I wasn't expecting to see the twins," she said.

  I nodded. "I know," I said, looking up and meeting her eyes. "I told your mom that it would help her get back into your good graces, so she made it happen."

  Ceres smiled at me. "You did that?" she asked.

  I nodded. "Yeah, I pulled her number from your phone and called her. I told her that if she wanted to make things better, she'd do that for you." I sighed. "I almost regret it now though," I confessed. She gave me a look of confusion. "I just feel guilty now because since meeting me, you haven't had a reason to be happy. Adamsville has beaten, broken, tortured, and betrayed you. The only thing that I've done—or at least that I've helped do, is bring the twins out here. Your old life made you happy. Being in New York made you happy." I sighed and let my voice go silent.

  "What are you saying?" Ceres asked, looking at me with concern in her eyes.

  "I don't know," I confessed. "I guess... I just want to know that you're happy being here," I said. "I mean with me. I want to know if you are happy with me. I don't see you smile that way. I don't see your whole face light up the way that it did when you saw them. I don't see how animated you can be when you get excited...."

  Her mouth was on mine in an instant. I flashed back to the motel and our snowstorm because of the intensity. It felt like that was years ago, not weeks. So much had happened since then. She unzipped her pants before she put my hand between her legs. She was already hot and wet. "You don't feel how excited you make me?" she whispered in my ear.

  I growled and flipped her onto her back, kissing her hard. I had to fight to keep myself from ripping her shirt off her, so I pushed it up her body, kissing each bit of skin I revealed as I did so. She moaned and the sound made my blood run hotter and faster. She wouldn't be joining our visitors just yet.

  She pushed her pants down to her knees before I kissed her again. I fumbled with my pants before pushing them down. At this point, it didn't matter if they were still around our ankles. The only thing that mattered was my body inside of hers, joined as one. I slid home with ease, and she cried out. I didn't stop moving. Whatever this urgency was, it was intense, and I didn't slow down until we were there.

  Afterward, I lay next to her. She kissed my chest before she looked up at me. I pulled her closer and kissed her. My body already responded to her again. She smiled as she rose up over me. She kissed me again, pressing her full breasts against my chest. There was nothing between us but our skin. Even that felt like too much.

  She lowered her body onto mine and covered me like a glove. She stayed there for just a moment with her eyes closed and her face to the ceiling. She started to move her hips as she met my gaze. Not once did she look away.

  She lost herself to the feeling of our bodies. I could feel her emotions as if they were mine. Everything in this moment was so intense that it was almost as if when she wasn't in here with me, she had to shut off parts of herself. She moaned and cried out. She let all the walls down. She let me know how important that I was to her. By the end, we both had tears in our eyes.

  She collapsed on top of me, panting. She pushed herself back up so that she could meet my eyes. "Vous êtes ma joie," she said. "Never doubt that again."

  I smiled and nodded before I pulled her back down. I wrapped my arms around her and held her for a moment. "You and our baby are mine," I said to her. She kissed my collar bone in response. "Nothing in this world matters more to me than the two of you."

  She smiled before she gave me a long and slow kiss. "Don't you forget it," she whispered.

  I chuckled and shook my head. "It's not possible," I promised.

  "I should go," she sighed. "They're going to want my attention."

  I nodded. "Yeah," I agreed. "I'll be here," I promised.

  "I'm going to take a quick shower," she said. She smiled at me before she kissed me and rose up out of bed. I watched her walk toward our private bathroom and smiled. She put a little extra sway in her hips, just for me. I chuckled. She smiled before she shut the door and a few moments later I heard the shower turn on.

  I sighed and tucked my arm under my head. I stared at the ceiling and thought about what was coming for us. Once Alan and the coven were finally taken care of, we wouldn't have anything to worry about regarding Witches hunting us.

  Of course, we had no idea what was coming for us. Ceres's ability to know things seemed to have taken a hit since we mated. She hadn't said anything, but I noticed that she seemed a lot more unsure lately. Though that may have been just because of how much stress she was under.

  When she walked out of the bathroom, she did so nude. She'd taken a moment to braid her hair so that it was in a single wet plait down her back. She picked her shirt up from the floor and put it on before pulling her spiderweb pajama bottoms from the dresser. Every time I saw her in those, it reminded me of the hotel and our first week together.

  She smiled at me. "Don't you just look all sorts of tempting laying there like that," she chuckled. She walked over to the bed and crawled on top of me before she gave me slow and passionate kiss. Once again, it didn't take much from her for me to want more, but I knew that, this time, I wasn't going to be that lucky. She had a one-track mind lately, and her parents were her first goal.

  Once again, I watched her walk out of the room and I couldn't help but think to myself how much I loved to watch her leave. Her hips swayed to the left and right just right and the last few weeks of putting her through the paces had toned her already lean body.

  I dragged myself out of bed once she closed the door behind her. I went for the shower and stepped in for more than just a quick rinse. When I finished, I put my hair into its standard ponytail and decided to take a few minutes with my family. I hadn't spent much time with them since Riley and I got the apartment three years ago.

  My parents were in the den watching a movie. Dad had his arm around Mom and Mira had snuggled up against her, already half-asleep. She was holding a bowl of popcorn and watching a cartoon movie from the Ninety's based on the Arab tale of the boy and his magical lamp. I smiled because it had been one of my favorites as a child, but I was a little sad when I saw the boy meet the genie. I crept toward the couch with a plan. Mira didn't notice me, but Mom glanced up. I wasn't trying to sneak passed my parents though, so I didn't care as much about her discovery.

  I walked behind the sofa and reached over Mira for a handful of popcorn. She didn't notice. I wanted to shake my head. This kid was the future of our pack, and she was blind to her brother.

  Mom took the bowl of popcorn and put it on the coffee table. I ate the popcorn I'd taken, and then reached for Mira. She was so focused in watching the movie, that it wasn't until I was tickling her that she realized I was there. She let out a scream of laughter and started kicking and flailing around. Mom and Dad both laughed as I grinned and kept up my relentless assault.

  "Wolfie! Stop it!" she cried through her giggles.

  I picked her up and put her on my shoulders before I climbed over the back of the couch. Mira's hands covered my eyes, so I turned my face toward my parents. "Where did Mira go?" I asked. "I can smell her, but I can't see her."

  "I haven't got a clue," Mom said, playing along.

  I reached for the popcorn and managed to get a handful even though her hands were still on my eyes. "I love this movie," I said as I started eating. "Mira should be here to see it too."

  "You can't see it, silly!" she cried from above my head.

  "But what's that?" I asked, pointing to the television.

  "Something you can't see!" Mira replied. She giggled.

  I turned back to my parents. "You know, i
t's funny, I can hear her, but I don't know where she is. It's also kinda dark in here. Did you guys do something to the lights?"

  "You know, we did do something with the lights recently," Dad replied. I felt the couch shift as he stood. "Let me fix it for you," he added. I braced myself for what was coming next.

  Mira screamed again and let go of my head. I ducked out of the way as Dad started to tickle her and she began kicking her legs again. Mom also ducked out of the way to avoid her flailing legs. When Dad pulled her over the back of the couch and to the floor, we looked over the back of the couch and watched as he tickled her without mercy. Soon, Mom and I were both compelled to join in, and the movie continued to play, forgotten.

  Chapter 28 ~Ceres~

  I felt horrible that Wolfgang had to wonder if I was happy with him. I wondered what kind of person I was that I didn't let the love of my life know that I was happy. I hoped that he would never feel that way again.

  I also knew he was right; I didn't need to visit with my family while they settled in for the night, but I still felt an obligation to do it. That obligation began with my parents.

  I didn't know Derek all that well. We had spent so little time together in the years that he had been back, as it was so hard to do with him being on the other side of the Atlantic. Still, he smiled when he looked up and saw me at the door, which made me smile. I needed a father figure in my life that wasn't going to judge me in an instant or try to kill me. It was nice to have him around to offset the weight of dealing with Alan.

  Mom also looked up at my entrance into their room from where she stood, making sure that Killian was comfortable in his bassinet. "Ceres," she said with a smile. "Hi."

  I smiled at her as well before I made my way to the reading chair that was in the room. "How was your flight?" I asked.

  "Peaceful," Derek said with a chuckle. "Which was a surprise." I saw Mom give him a half-hearted glare to the back of his head as he winked at me. I couldn't help but chuckle. The two of them were just like teenagers.

  "What your father means is that your brother managed to sleep the entire flight over. What's so surprising about it is that he hasn't slept for more than an hour at a time since the night he was born," she clarified.

  "Maybe he should be a bird instead of a wolf," I joked. They both chuckled. I sighed, my thoughts turning serious. "What do you think is going to happen, Mom?" I asked. "Alan's gone after Wolfgang in the past and now he's got his sights set on me. Am I going to die?" I asked, looking up at her and begging for an answer that didn't involve my death or Alan's. Unfortunately, I knew that was only wishful thinking. One of us would die. Whether that was me or not, wasn't something that I could guess.

  Mom gave Derek an intense look before she sat down on their borrowed bed and stared at me for a moment. "Alan is relentless," she said. "As an optimist, I think the best idea would be for you and Wolfgang to pack up and come to Scotland with us where you'll be safe. As a realist, I know that isn't going to happen. They need Wolfgang here. They need both of you. To tell you the truth, Ceres, the only way you're going to get out of this alive is to see the end of Alan's life."

  I sighed. That wasn't the answer I wanted.

  "It sucks, I know," Mom said, "but I didn't think you wanted me to lie to you." She was right. I would much rather have her tell me that one of us won't survive than have her sugarcoat it for me and let me believe that both of us will. It would devastate me to have that hopeless reality come crashing down on me in an instant. We wouldn't both survive, and I was an idiot if I thought I could get away with entertaining the thought. Besides, with as cruel a man as he was, would I even want him alive?

  Then again, who was I to judge whether someone should live or die? My purpose in life wasn't to become judge, jury, and executioner. My purpose was to help lead a pack of Lycans to safety and security and defend them with every ounce of my being.

  "You know," I said, "for a while, I'd hoped that him believing that I was his daughter would save me." I noticed Derek's eyes darken with guilt and a stab of pain that he wasn't the father he should have been. "As it turns out, it doesn't matter to Alan who you are in his life. Once you're something he hates, he hates you too. I can only imagine what he would have done if I'd told him that I'm a lesbian," I said with a chuckle.

  Mom laughed too. Alan's prejudices didn't just involve other species, but it involved other humans as well. He hated gays. He thought that all African Americans needed to "hang from their family trees”. He wanted all the Hispanics shipped back across the border where they could "fuck up their own country”. He was racist, sexist, and classist. He believed that everyone who didn't share his beliefs should burn in a hell that he didn't even believe in. I knew this about Alan at a young age, but still, I had come here, as his daughter, to help him... This was the thanks that I received in return....

  "What made you come out here anyway?" Mom asked, echoing my thoughts.

  I cleared my throat. She deserved to know the whole truth more than anyone else did. It was time to go into detail, not just gloss over things the way I had on the phone with her. "Remember how I told you on the phone that Todd cheated on me and we broke up and all that?" I asked. She nodded. "I went through a pretty bad downward spiral afterward," I confessed. "Lena and Soph are the only ones who know about it. It took a while for me to start climbing back up. I didn't break up with Todd because he was cheating on me. I knew it was going on, but at that point, I didn't care. It was that disregard for our relationship's loss of loyalty that made me break up with him. I realized that if I could be so apathetic at the thought that he was sleeping with someone else, it no longer mattered if he was a part of my life. Unfortunately, breaking up with him meant that I was face-to-face with the reality of how much he had been cheating on me. I saw him every day because of his work at his dad's company that required work on our end. I was on the team because we had been dating, so I still had to work with him. It was even more difficult on the days that Mandy came to pick him up for a baby doctor appointment. Watching them live their relationship out in the open was pretty damaging for me. I could only ignore so much of it before I couldn't anymore. I wanted to get away from that. I needed to get away from that. I mean, yes, the relationship was over before it was over, but it was the betrayal that kept hurting me. I was grateful when the case was finally done. Since Evan's company was still a client, I knew it would be the last time he graced my desk with his presence."

  I sighed before continuing. "On top of all of that, I started to do some soul searching," I said. "I'd started going home every night and thinking about what I wanted out of life and what I liked and didn't like. I have lists and lists of pros and cons at the house in New York. I tried talking to you about it, but every time I'd called, I got your voicemail. I finally called Alan because I needed a parent I could talk to and you two weren't available." That guilty look crossed their faces again. With the turmoil of a territory dispute, I would have that they would have been grateful that they didn't have to worry about me as well.

  "That's when Alan told me that he needed some legal help. He said that Addie's tenants had let the house fall into such disrepair that they were afraid that they were going to have to condemn it. Alan wanted to know how he should press forward since his lawyer seemed to want to sit on his ass and milk every penny he could from them.

  "At that point, I'd already decided that I needed to leave New York for a while. I told him that it would be easiest for me to just come out here rather than try to do it all by phone, fax, and email. He tried to stop me because he was certain that I must have some sort of big case that I should have been working on, but I insisted. I wasn't planning on going back home for a long time," I said.

  "So, what are you going to do if you're not going to practice law?" Mom asked.

  I shrugged. "I'm going to help this pack survive," I replied. "My mate is the Volsunga here, so that makes my first priority this pack."

  "But is that what you want?" she asked, mee
ting me square in the eyes.

  I shrank in on myself a little. I mentally checked myself and held my chin up before I sat up straight again. "What I want is to go back to a normal life where I don't have a stepfather and his followers trying to kill me every time I step out of the house alone. I want to pack up everything, take Wolfgang, and run as far away as I can because I don't want to be the catalyst that destroys this town. I want to say that I wished I could go back to a normal life where Lycans, Witches, and Vampires don't exist, but I can't. I'm on this path. Does it matter what I want?" I asked. "There is an amazing man in the other room, and he wants nothing more than to make my life as happy as he can. That man also has specific obligations that he has to live with and nothing that he and I want is going to change that. We are what we are. There's no use in trying to believe that something else is going to come along."

  My parents' faces filled with sorrow and regret. I could almost hear their thoughts as well as I could smell their emotions. I sighed. "Look," I said as I stood, "normal was never my thing to begin with. I wasn't ever going to be average. I was always too smart for that. Now I'm still not going to be average because of my history and my future. Take it or leave it, but don't look at me like that.

  They seemed to check themselves, but it was too late. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them seemed to know what to say. "I'm going to check on the twins," I said before I walked out of the room. I hoped the girls would be in better spirits. For as down as I was feeling, the last thing I wanted was pity or a half-hearted attempt at understanding. Besides, I'd wanted to see the twins to begin with. I'd just felt obligated to see my parents first.

  I knocked on the door where we'd put Selena before I pushed it open. I found her talking to Sophia in the bathroom that joined their rooms together. "Pictures didn't do that man justice," she was saying as I walked in. "And I mean, I know Ceres said he was hot, but damn!" she cried. I chuckled, causing her to whip around with a face as red as a tomato. "Oh my god, Ceres!" she gasped with her hand over her heart. "I did not see you there!"