“Why are we here?” I asked again, my voice barely a whisper.
She stopped and pointed out my window. “That’s why.”
Asher stood near the wall, dressed in a dark t-shirt and jeans. He didn’t come toward the car, just waited with his thick arms at his sides.
“Go,” Cara said.
Thoroughly bewildered, I got out of the car. Asher took a few steps forward and stopped.
“What are you doing here?” I couldn’t believe he’d come back to this place willingly.
He cast a quick glance at the watchtower, like it made him nervous. “It’s a do-over.”
“A what?”
“A do-over. You weren’t here the day I was released and you should have been.” He looked over his shoulder. “Although I’m not going to ask them to let me in and then let me out the gate again. If you really need me to, I could try, but I don’t know if they can. I obviously won’t pass a background check.”
“No, god, don’t go in there.”
One corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Good. Grace, I’m so sorry. I doubt I could have made this any worse for you if I’d tried. It might be too late, and if it is, I’m going to have to figure out how to live with that. But if it isn’t, if there’s even the tiniest chance you could forgive me, I have to try.”
“I thought you couldn’t be with me. Isn’t that what you keep saying?”
“Would it make any sense if I told you an eagle sees the trees differently than a man on the ground, but they’re still the same trees?”
“Gram?”
“Yeah.”
“Kind of, but what are you trying to say? Because right now, I don’t know whether to run to you or get back in the car and go. After everything we’ve been through, you were adamant this can’t work. And now, what? You changed your mind?”
He rubbed his chin, then met my eyes. “I need to tell you what happened in there. Everything.”
“Okay.”
“Within a day or two of being transferred to this facility, word got around why I was doing time. Among some of the inmates, it earned me a certain level of respect. I’d stopped a rapist, and even other criminals tend to hate rapists. But there were other inmates who basically just wanted to fuck with someone, and they picked me. They wanted to know if I was really tough enough to do what I’d done, or if it had been a heat of the moment kind of thing.”
I had a feeling I knew where this was going. I’d seen what he looked like when he’d been released. Battered knuckles. A gash above his eye.
“That was how it started. Guys would attack me just to see what I could do. And even after they realized I’d win pretty much every time, it didn’t make them back off. It made it worse. I became the guy to beat. Everyone wanted to be the one to take me down, because no one could.”
“Oh my god.”
“So I fought a lot. But the thing was, I started to want it. I looked forward to it. As soon as someone would jump me, I’d get a huge rush. I knew how messed up that was, especially considering why I was doing time. But in the moment, I didn’t care. It was like I had this demon living inside me and letting him out felt really fucking good.
“Then a few years ago, I got a new cellmate, a guy known as Switch. He was a hacker who’d gotten caught up in some drug trafficking stuff. I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to toss him in with the guys in my cell block. He was this skinny computer geek. They were going to eat him alive, so I made it clear that if anyone touched him, they’d have to deal with me.
“That worked for about a year. But the other inmates were getting sick of seeing me win all the time. They’d started betting on my fights and some of them kept betting against me and losing. It pissed them off. They decided it wouldn’t be enough to go after me. They went after Switch.” He looked down at the ground for a few seconds before continuing. “They held me down and made me watch. And they beat him so badly, he almost died.”
“Oh, Asher.”
“I wasn’t really the same after that. It took me to a really dark place. I started picking fights instead of just defending myself. I thought about doing things to get more time added to my sentence because I didn’t want the people who’d known me to see what I’d become. I’d turned into a monster.”
“You’re not a monster.”
“That’s debatable. I didn’t come home and start throwing punches at everyone. But stuff started coming out in other ways.”
I nodded. “The nightmares.”
“Yeah. And panic attacks, apparently. I had an appointment with a therapist a couple of days ago and it was eerie how well he described everything I’ve been going through. The feeling of being watched when I wasn’t, all of it.”
“You went to therapy?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. It was stupid to not even try it.”
“I started looking for a therapist too.”
He gave me that half-smile again. “Well, aren’t we a pair.”
I nodded. “I guess so.”
“I didn’t want you to know about everything that happened in there because it was bad enough that I knew.” He flexed his fingers. “My hands remember exactly how it feels to break a bone and knock a guy out cold. I have a lot of shit I have to live with, and I didn’t want you to know that part of me existed. I think deep down, I thought you could move on and remember the old Asher, and pretend I’m someone else.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath. “The wrongness of living without you is killing me. I think it’s killing us both. I really thought I was doing what was right. But I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.
“You’ve been fighting for us since the night I was arrested. And I failed you. I should have been fighting by your side. I never should have left you. I should have put my faith in you the way you put your faith in me. I should have believed in us. I’m so sorry I didn’t.”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I didn’t know what to say.
“Grace, I’m fucked up and broken, and I can’t lie, I’m scared as hell. I’m scared I’ll ruin your life and someday you’re going to look back and wish I’d never come home. But I love you. I love you with every molecule in my body and every shred of my soul, and I will until the day I die.
“I’m standing here before you, a man who was stripped of his freedom, his future, all his plans. This whole experience brought me to my knees. But there was one thing they could never take, and it’s all I have left to give you. My love. I don’t know if it’s enough—I don’t know if anything could ever be enough after what I’ve done—but if you’ll have me, it’s yours.”
My lip trembled and it took me a second before I could get any words out. “Asher, that’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”
His brow furrowed and he tentatively lifted his arms to the sides.
I didn’t hesitate. I ran to him and jumped, throwing my arms around his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. He held me tight, crushing me against him.
“You’ll never have to fight alone again,” he murmured against my neck. “I’ll always be with you. I swear. I’ll never leave you. Do you hear me? I promise.”
It was hard to stop sobbing long enough to answer. “I hear you.”
“I’m so sorry. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
He held me for long moments, eventually letting me slide down to the ground. Gently cupping my face, he kissed me, slow and deep. We were undoubtedly being watched by the prison guards, but I didn’t care. This was the moment I’d wanted—the moment I’d missed.
We both had a lot of healing to do. But wrapped in each other’s love, there wasn’t anything we couldn’t face. I believed that down to the very bottom of my soul. Asher and I belonged to each other.
He pulled away slightly and kissed my forehead.
I reached up to touch the sides of his face and looked into his deep
brown eyes. “Welcome home, Asher.”
47
Asher
Grace traced her finger over my mouth. “You’re going to have to wipe that smile off your face if you’re going to pull this off.”
She was right, but it was hard to stop. “I know, I know. I’ll be serious.”
“Good.”
“What about you? Are you sure you can make this call and be convincing?”
“What do you think I am, an amateur? I’ve got this.”
I leaned close to kiss her. “Of course you do.”
We waited in the gym lobby, both sweaty from our workouts. I’d spent the last hour sparring with Jack. I might have been twenty-five years younger, but the guy was a beast. He made a great workout partner, especially because he had such good instincts. He could tell if I was getting too riled up and needed to step away for a few minutes.
My therapist had pushed me hard to start training again. So had Grace. Even Gram had told me to suck it up and put my gloves back on. So I’d talked to Mark, the head trainer here, and booked a few private coaching sessions. Since then, I’d been working with him once a week, and sparring with Jack or my brothers in between.
Jack and I also took turns working with Elijah. They didn’t have a kids’ program here anymore, but he’d really taken to his training and wanted to continue. He was getting damn good, and he didn’t have trouble with little shits trying to bully him anymore.
It turned out I didn’t need to bury my demons. I needed to control them. Training again and working with Elijah were good for me. Really good.
Making Gavin tap out a few times hadn’t been bad, either. He’d beaten me once, but I wasn’t letting him get away with it.
I wasn’t letting any of them get away with anything.
Since I’d come home, my brothers had teased me relentlessly about my prison time. I’d found more things with files or materials to make fake prison shanks baked into them than I could count. I could admit it was funny. I laughed every time.
But I also had to answer back.
“What’s Jack doing back there?” I asked. “Shaving or something?”
Grace glanced toward the locker rooms. “I don’t know. I’m sure he’ll be out soon.”
Mark came out to the front. He was in his fifties and had owned this gym since I’d started coming here years ago. Like any trained fighter, he was lean and fit.
“You looked good out there,” he said. “Your skills are coming back fast.”
“Thanks, man. I picked up some bad habits, but I’m working through them.”
“Yeah, you’ve got some brawler in you that wasn’t there before. But don’t worry. Focused skills practice will work that out of you. It’s already making a difference.”
“Thanks.”
“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I don’t know if this would interest you, but I’ve been looking for another coach, someone who can also work with kids. I’ve seen you with Elijah and you’re a natural with him. I know you’ve only been back in the gym for a little while, and you’d need to go through a coaching certification. But if you’re interested, we could make that happen.”
“Coaching?” I asked, not sure what else to say. I’d actually thought about it—more than once. Coaching would give me purpose. Fill a need I knew I had.
“Yeah. You’re a natural. It’s hard to find coaches who can work with adults as well as kids. I know you’re probably pretty busy with the handyman gig, but I’d love to convince you to come work for me instead. You’re a born coach, man. I can see it.”
A born coach. Declan had said I was a born fighter. I liked this take on it a lot better.
“You know what, let’s talk about what it would take,” I said. “I’m interested.”
Mark shook my hand. “Great. We’ll set something up.”
Grace bit her bottom lip through her smile as Mark went back into the gym.
I slipped an arm around her waist. “You look awfully happy.”
“I’m just so proud of you.”
I kissed her forehead. “Thanks, Gracie Bear.”
Jack finally came out, dressed in his uniform. “Are we ready? I checked in with the station. They’re good to go on their end.”
I met Grace’s eyes and we both nodded. “We’re ready.”
“You sure you want me to cuff you?” he asked. “I could just meet you down there.”
“It’s fine, I can take it. And this will be more convincing. They know I’m overdue in answering back, so they’re suspicious of everything right now. Pictures will sell it.”
“Okay, let’s do this.”
Jack grabbed his handcuffs and I held out my hands. They snapped down over my wrists with a metallic click. It did give me a quick hit of adrenaline to feel them there again, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. That was part of why we were doing this after a workout. I’d burned off a lot of energy already, so this stunt shouldn’t set me off in a way I didn’t want.
I met Grace’s eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah. It’s weird seeing those on you again.” Her lips turned up in a smile. “But the boys are going to lose their minds.”
“Come on, Bailey,” Jack said, his voice deep and serious. “Let’s go.”
He put his hand on my shoulder and led me outside. His car was parked up the street. Grace followed behind, snapping photos. We walked slower than necessary, giving her time to text the pictures and make the first call.
We’d agreed to leave Evan out of it; we didn’t have any evidence he’d been in on the prison pranks. And Chief Stanley had let me know when my other three brothers would all be off duty, so I knew they were around.
“Logan, oh my god,” Grace said behind me. “One of the Havens showed up at the gym and Asher lost it. Jack broke it up, but he’s taking Asher in. I don’t even know what to do right now.”
Damn, her voice was convincing. My girl was good.
“I don’t know, he ran off. And then Jack said he was sorry, but he had to take Asher in. I took a picture because I didn’t think you’d believe me. Jack’s putting him in the car now. Oh god, Logan, what are we going to do? I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Jesus,” Jack muttered. “She’s merciless.”
“She’s the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet, but she’s got an evil streak. Especially when it comes to pranking. The best part is, most people have no idea. Some of the best Bailey pranks have been all Gracie Bear.”
Jack chuckled. “Here, she got her pictures, I can unlock these. You’re going to need both hands.”
“Thanks,” I said as he released the cuffs. “You’re not bad at this yourself. Any chance we could get you to fake an arrest on one of the Haven brothers?”
He scowled at me. “No.”
I just chuckled.
“All right, in the back,” he said, and I could hear the humor in his voice. “And if Naomi gets me in trouble for this, I’m blaming you.”
“Fair enough, I’ll take the heat.”
Jack drove us to the sheriff’s office with Grace following behind. With any luck, my brothers would be down here in a few minutes. I hoped they’d burst in and make a stink. The louder they were when they got here, the funnier this would be.
We went in and Grace hurried into the lobby behind us.
“Are we ready?” Grace asked.
Rebecca Roy, a girl Grace and I had known since kindergarten, was at the front counter. She smiled and gave a thumbs up. “All set.”
“Good,” Grace said. “They’re on their way.”
“You’re planning on cleaning this up when you’re done, right?” Rebecca asked.
Jack chuckled. “Don’t worry, Bec, that’s part of the deal.”
“Good.” She jerked her thumb toward the back. “I’ll just wait over there so I don’t get caught in the crossfire.”
Grace glanced out the front. “I think that’s them.”
Jack rushed me around to get behind the f
ront counter. Rebecca had our supplies all ready. I had no idea how Grace had convinced Jack and the rest of the sheriff’s office to let us do this. That was my girl for you. Jack waited just behind the barrier so he wouldn’t be seen in the lobby, and I ducked down behind the desk.
The lobby doors flew open and Logan’s voice boomed, “Grace? What the hell is happening?”
“Where is he?”
“What’s going on?”
“Thank god you’re here,” Grace said.
“Jack, where the hell are you?” Logan called toward the back. “Where’s Asher?”
I slid two of the chocolate cream pies from Rebecca’s desk into the palms of my hands, making sure they were steady.
Three.
Two.
One.
I popped up, slid one pie across the counter toward Grace, and palmed the other one. Hesitating long enough for them to see me—really see me—I gave them my best Bailey shit-eating grin. “Hey, bros.”
“What the fuck?” Logan asked.
I tossed the pie right in his face.
Grace slid the second pie off the counter and a second later, Levi had chocolate cream pie dripping down his shirt.
Gavin’s eyes went wide. “What the—”
I cut him off with the third pie, hitting him like a bullseye.
Logan doubled over laughing so hard he gasped for breath. Levi swiped pie filling and whipped cream out of his eyes and flicked it to the ground. Gavin stood still, like he was too shocked to move.
“Oh. My. God,” he said through his pie-face. “That was fucking amazing.”
Then Gavin started to laugh, and Logan kept laughing so hard he couldn’t wipe the pie off his face.
Levi shook his head slowly, but even he laughed. “Okay, we deserved that.”
Grace had her hands over her mouth, her shoulders shaking as she giggled at them.
Logan wiped a handful of pie from his face. “G, you set us up? That’s it.”
She squealed and tried to run away, but Logan got her with a blob of chocolate. I heard someone mutter oh shit as I jumped over the front counter, and all-out war began.
Gavin and Levi attacked me with handfuls of pie filling as I tried to throw myself in front of Grace. Chocolate and whipped cream flew, splattering everywhere. I scooped up a blob off the floor and hurled it Logan. He answered back with another handful that smeared over my shirt.
Fighting for Us: A Small Town Family Romance (The Bailey Brothers Book 2) Page 35