by Bella Emy
She finally turns back around, and my eyes lock with hers once more. God, she’s so beautiful. I missed seeing her gorgeous face so much. It breaks my heart to know she couldn’t wait to get away from me, but I need to put that aside and focus on what I need to say to her.
“Can we talk?” I ask, hoping she’ll give me one last chance.
She looks hard at me, thinking it over, then turns toward Shannon and Emy, who both nod.
I flash a glance back at my brother and sister, and they’re nodding at me too. Why does it feel like this was a setup?
“We’re going to give you two some privacy. Come on, Em,” Shannon says, pulling Emerson to the side.
“Carissa…” It comes out as barely a whisper. My eyes are ready to overflow with tears.
She puts up a hand before I can say anything further. “Before you apologize again, I want to thank you for all the beautiful flowers and candy you sent me. You didn’t have to, but it was very sweet.”
I shake my head to let her know it was nothing. Words don’t manage to come out. If this is how she’s going to let me know for sure she’s done with me, done with us, I don’t know how I’m going to take it.
But I’m sad. I’m so damn sad, my heart feels like it’s breaking before her.
She looks around, and her eyes land on an empty table to her right. “Let’s sit down so we can talk.”
I nod and we walk over and take a seat. She places both of her hands on the table, and I so badly want to take them in mine.
But I won’t.
Because then she’ll probably get up and walk away, and it’ll all be over before I have a chance to speak.
Carissa takes a deep breath and says, “I wasn’t going to talk to you. I was going to keep my distance and hope you’d forget all about me.”
How could I forget about her? Ever since I laid eyes on her, all I can think about is her. There’s no way her ignoring me would make me forget about her, not in the span of a couple of days anyway.
I search her eyes, trying to figure out why the hell she’d want me to forget her, but I still don’t understand any more than I did the first day. None of this makes any fucking sense.
“But why?” I ask. “I don’t understand. I thought things were going really well that day.”
The day I held you in my arms and made love to you over and over, and again the following morning… before you left.
The thought stings, and I wish I could push it away.
She closes her eyes, and when she opens them, it looks like she’s about to cry too. “They were. They were going really well. I was the happiest I had ever been in so long.”
“Me too.” I reach out and take her hands in mine without thinking twice. I need her to feel how much I mean this. She jerks but doesn’t pull away. Maybe it’s a good thing.
“You’re a great guy, Lorenzo. You saved me, and not just that night in the parking lot. You saved me from a life I thought I was destined to have. For that, I’m forever thankful.”
“So why did you leave?” I search her pretty eyes once more. Nothing. No sign, no giving anything away.
She looks at Shannon and Emerson, and I follow her gaze. The two of them are already downing their drinks. My brother and sister, sitting a few tables away from them, are doing the same.
“You know I work at the hospital, correct?” she asks, bringing my attention back to her.
I nod. “Of course I do. I remember that.” I remember everything she’s ever told me.
She licks her luscious lips, and even though this is not the time, I can’t help but want to kiss them. I miss tasting them so badly.
“I’m no doctor or nurse. I’m in the billing department. But even so, we see what goes on, and we become familiar with certain faces and what they’re going through. I remember Sylvia, so very clearly. As soon as I saw her picture, the memories flooded my mind. During one of my shifts, I happened to walk past her room when she called out to me. It was weak, but somehow, I heard it.” She pauses for a moment and then continues. “When I walked in, the devastating look on her face was enough to burn into the back of my mind. Typically, we don’t get involved or even remember patients. But Sylvia? Sylvia was something special. She reminded me of my mom and how she looked when she passed, so much so that I even told my sister and my best friend about her. Her big eyes and stringy blonde hair? It was just my mom so long ago, and unfortunately, we lost her too soon.”
“Oh, Carissa,” I say, but she stops me from continuing.
She takes a deep breath and then closes her eyes. “Lorenzo, I’m just going to out and say this because there is no easy way around it. I was there the day Sylvia passed. I was there when you cried your eyes out and lost her that day. I watched you tear yourself apart the moment she was gone, and it broke me. It tore at my heart. I was able to see how deeply you loved her and how much she meant to you.”
I narrow my brows, unsure of where she’s going with this. “You were there that day… How does this relate to us? I don’t understand.”
She takes another deep breath. “That morning when you left me… in your bed,” she whispers the last three words, and it brings shivers up my spine, thinking of her lying there with me. It was perfect. “I happened to turn over and see the picture of Sylvia on your nightstand. I realized I had seen her before, as I knew I had seen you before we met too. I couldn’t remember from where, but then, in an instant, it hit me, and the memories came crashing into the front of my mind, and I freaked out. The memories of my mom and the day Sylvia passed all came rushing back. I had to go.”
“But—”
“Lorenzo, I got scared. I can’t fall in love with you, and even though I’d already fallen, I needed to get up and pull myself away. I couldn’t do it.”
I swallow thickly. “Carissa, listen. I was so afraid to fall in love at first too, but I did. I did it anyway. You made me fall in love again, and it was beautiful. Albeit scary because I had been turned off to dating women for so long after my wife passed. But then I met you, and you changed my whole perspective on love and life.”
She rubs her thumb over my hand. “Lorenzo, don’t you get it? I’m afraid to be with you because I saw how much you loved your wife. How can I ever compete with that? How can you ever love me the same way? I’m afraid you’ll never be able to, and maybe that’s okay, but I’m also afraid of being hurt. I remember how devastated you were the day you lost her. I also remember how it felt when I got my heart broken by Steve. It hurts. It fucking hurts like hell, and I don’t want to go through it again. I can never compete with what you had with her.”
A frown forms on my face. I’m torn she feels this way. Could I ever love her like I loved Sylvia? I do, but at the same time, it’s different. Not in a bad way, just different. I’ll always love my wife, but I love Carissa too. “Oh, Carissa. I do love you… so much. And I will always love Sylvia as well. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, and I don’t want to lie to you. She was my wife and the mother to my daughter. She was my first love, my everything. But just because I’ll always love her doesn’t mean I won’t love you or that I’ll love you less. You have to understand it’s not a competition.”
“It’s not. I know that, but I have to let this go. I’m sorry.” She pulls her hands away from mine and rises from her seat.
I don’t let her go. I grab her hand before she can get away, and it forces her to look back at me. “It’s not a competition, and if you say you have to go, then I’m going to fight for you, fight for us.”
She furrows her brows and sits back down. “What?”
“Carissa, I’m going to fight because I realize you’re worth it. If I need to spend every day for the rest of my life showing you you’re worth fighting for, then so be it, baby.”
“Lorenzo—”
I shake my head. “Look, I’m sorry for the constant phone calls, texts, and blowing up your phone these past couple of weeks. I’m sorry for not giving up. I’m sorry for coming into your life if all
you ever wanted was solace, without me bringing my crazy world into yours.”
“No, please don’t say that. I—”
“Please let me finish.”
She nods.
“I’m not giving up, Carissa, and guess what? I’m not sorry for fighting for someone I care so deeply about, someone I love. Yes, I love you, and I don’t care if I’m crazy or whatever anyone else thinks because it happened so fast. I truly fucking love you, and I’ll be damned if I give up now. I’m a fighter, and fighters don’t quit.”
She nods again, closing her eyes as a tear falls onto her cheek. I reach out and wipe at it with my hand, and she leans into it. She opens her eyes again.
I smile at her and continue. “Let me tell you what else I’m not sorry about. I’m not sorry for placing my lips on you that night and tasting the sweet candy cane sugar on your luscious lips.”
She blushes, but I’m going to keep going because it’s now or never.
“I’m not sorry for taking you into my arms and holding you tight. I’m not sorry for spending a magical evening with you and bringing your body to life.”
“Lorenzo…” she whispers, looking around with her cheeks all flushed.
I smile at her, but I need to finish the rest of what I have to tell her. “Most of all, the one important thing I don’t regret and am one hundred and fifty fucking percent not sorry about is finding you and realizing what an amazing fucking woman you are. I’m not sorry you saved me from the depression and the sorrow of my miserable life. I died a long time ago when I lost my wife, but you, you brought me back to life, and even if you don’t forgive me now or want to be with me, I’m thankful you saved me. You saved me and made me realize this is worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for. I’m a UFC fighter. I’m used to fighting for what I want and, now, fighting for who I want. And I want you. You’re worth fighting for, and I’m not backing down. I want this, and I want you. You’re worth it. We’re both worth it, and we owe this to ourselves. Please, don’t walk away from this. Please give us a chance. I love you.”
Her expression turns serious as she considers my words. I can tell she’s unsure, but as she rises from her seat, I can already feel my heart start to sink.
I poured my heart out to her, placed all my cards on the table, yet they weren’t enough. She’s walking away from me.
I hang my head down. Maybe this is a fight I’m just not going to win. Maybe this is the one time I need to throw in the towel and realize I’m not undefeated anymore.
“Lorenzo…”
I hear her voice calling out to me, but she’s closer this time.
I lift my gaze from the ground and see her standing in front of me. She hasn’t left. She’s still here.
“Carissa, you’re still here.”
She moves in closer and places herself in between my legs. I reach out and put my hands on her waist. She smiles her pretty smile at me, and my heart melts. My stomach knots with anxiety at the anticipation of not knowing what she’s going to say next.
She nods. “I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere. I want to be in the ring and fight. I want to fight for this but not against you. I want to fight with you and be on your side. I’m willing to fight with you if you are too. I love you so much. I don’t want to let go—lose this… lose you.”
I am up on my feet the second those words leave her lips. I’m so happy she feels this way because it’s all I’ve wanted. I lift her off her toes and kiss her as though my life depends on it.
Because it does.
She does.
As we kiss, I hear Marianna, Max, Shannon, Emerson, and now even Ryker cheering for us. When then hell did he get here?
I bring Carissa down but keep her in my embrace. The two of us chuckle as we watch our friends coming toward us with the owner of the bar, Gage, carrying bottles of champagne and flutes. Gage has always been pretty cool, and it looks like they were all in on this and we’re gonna celebrate getting back together.
This is definitely something worth celebrating.
As our friends fill our glasses and raise a toast in our names, my heart feels full, and I’m finally at peace after so many years of loneliness and heartache.
I know this is going to be a lot of work. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I’m ready. I’m ready for the challenge, and I’m willing to do what I need to do to show Carissa how much I’m in this for the long haul. I’m in this for life, willing to fight for us.
Afterword
THANK YOU
So much for reading Fighting for Us
Book 1 in the Love is Worth Fighting For Series!
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Did you enjoy Lorenzo & Carissa’s story as much as I loved writing it?
Well, book 2, Fighting for Her, will be coming soon!
You can expect to see appearances from your favorite characters introduced in book 1, including Ryker! Fighting for Her will be his story!!!
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For more information on the series, please visit www.BellaEmy.com
or CLICK HERE
My book is also a part of…
Kisses Under the Mistletoe!
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Read 9 holiday full length stories from 9 of your favorite authors in this fantastic holiday collection. Each book is a standalone and sold separately by each individual author. Follow their amazing characters as they find their true love under the Mistletoe. Some tales are steamy hot, others naughty sweet, but oh…they are all soooo good!
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Features the following authors:
Tara L. Ames*- SEAL Unwrapped
Alyssa Drake* - Mistletoe Hopes
Bella Emy* - Fighting For Us
C. A. King* - High Heels And Mistletoe
Shannyn Leah* - My Big Fat Fake Mistletoe Kiss
Erin Lee* - Crazy For Christmas
Ellie Masters - Hawke Christmas In Paradise
Samantha Morgan* - Santa’s Letter
Victoria Pinder* - A Scot For Christmas
*USA Today Bestselling Authors
All of these authors are highly talented and super amazing!!!
Acknowledgments
THANK YOU
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A huge thanks goes out to my ARC & beta readers!
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Thank you to the Kisses Under the Mistletoe holiday crew. This project was a blast to work on, and Lorenzo & Carissa are now one of my favorite couples.
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To all of Bella’s Heartbreakers — you guys are the best!!!
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Thanks to all my family & friends…. I adore you all so much!
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With much love,
❤︎ Bella
About the Author
Bella Emy is a USA Today Bestselling Author.
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She loves all books, but her favorite genre to read, as well as write, is romance. Bella loves creating heartbreaking stories that will deeply touch her readers, but in the end, a good HEA is usually the turnout.
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Whenever Bella is not typing away on her computer with a nice hot cup of coffee, she loves spending time with her family and friends. Her favorite places to go are the movies, the beach, or just on a good plain old road trip. Some of her must haves are coffee, chocolate, pizza, music, & movies.
Breaking Hearts One Story at a Time
❤︎ Bella Emy ❤︎
www.BellaEmy.com
Also by Bella Emy
Check out some more books by Bella Emy!
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FIGHTING FOR US
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Lorenzo
I had it all.
A wonderful family with a loving wife who was my world and a beautiful baby girl.
I didn’t need anything more to be rich in my eyes.
Then one day, everything changed and my world was ripped apart.
My wife, my everything
, was taken from me, and I was left alone to raise our baby girl.
I was forced from late night sessions at the gym to changing diapers all by myself.
Thank God for the help I received from my parents and siblings or I would have been lost.
I accepted my fate of being alone with my baby girl and living life with just us two…
Until the day I met her, and she became everything worth fighting for.
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Carissa
Life was so perfect.
A loving fiancé, wonderful friends and family, and a job I adored.
Until one day, my world was turned upside down and the man I loved threw the promise of forever down the drain and walked out of my life.
The day he walked out of my door, I knew that everything I had ever grown up to believe in was a lie.
Love is unconditional but love sure as hell doesn’t last forever.
The vow to love me for the rest of our lives ended quickly as he pulled away from me, and buried himself in the arms of his ex.
I was left alone, cursing the male species and everyone who had found their happily ever after.
My sister and my best friend were the only ones there for me…
Until the day I met him, and he became everything worth fighting for.
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