At the hospital alone for my first ultrasound, I was embarrassed. Deep down I knew that there was no reason to be, that a lot of people did it alone, not just women but men too. The fact was that in this day and age families took all different sizes and combinations. I was smart and I was strong and I had people around me who were supportive and kind, I would get through it.
Still, when the friendly ultrasound tech that was making small talk asked whether me and the dad were excited about our first kid, I lied and said that we both were. When she went ahead and asked why the dad wasn’t there with me, I lied again and said this was all part of an elaborate surprise for him. For what it was worth, she thought it was cute and I got to bask in the idea of surprising my partner was a pregnancy that both of us wanted.
Fuck Toby. Seriously, fuck that man, just not literally.
He had ghosted me.
We had the same friend group. We weren’t that close and I didn’t know the details of his personal life but I felt positive that he didn’t hang out with anybody besides Easton and the rest of the gang. How was he going to stay away from me when we knew all the same people?
I was thinking of going to his office. I had seriously considered it, probably because of the baby hormones because after giving it some time, it didn’t seem worth it anymore. It wasn’t worth the effort, possible embarrassment and the definite rejection because his silence was all the confirmation that I needed to tell me that he had no intention of being part of my life or my child’s life.
And that was okay. It was low and of course I would’ve chosen two parents over one, but things didn’t always work out that way. Long story short, I wasn’t going to cry about it. He wasn’t worth the effort or the tears. I had someone else who needed my focus and they were going to be arriving in about six or seven months.
“Are you busy this evening?” Missy asked me. I looked up from my phone at her across the table.
“Yeah, I wanted to do a little shopping.”
“Well, I’ve just been talking with the client, you know the one; the socialite, and she wants to reschedule our meeting to this afternoon so you’re free to go if you don’t want to stay here,” she said. Was there another job on earth that had hours this flexible?
“Oh, that sounds great. Thanks.”
“Of course,” Missy said. “Are you okay by the way?”
“Sorry?” I asked, standing up and stuffing my phone into my purse.
“We work together, but I do consider you my friend. I feel like things have been kind of awkward lately between us?” Missy said.
“Oh, no, no way. I just had a weird a few months or so. It’s definitely nothing to do with the two of us.”
“We can talk about it if you want,” Missy said. I knew that, but I still didn’t feel like it was the right time. I knew she didn’t know because even though Brenna was her friend too, she would never disclose information that I asked her to keep a secret. I didn’t like keeping it a secret but I just wasn’t ready yet. I was not yet over Toby and with the recent disturbance from Paul, things were still a little bit too messy for my liking.
“Thank you. I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” I said.
I was going to have to come clean because pregnancy was a secret that told itself eventually. In addition to that, I thought it was kind of cute that we were pregnant at the same time. It was a total mistake and it even crossed my mind that she might think I was trying to steal her thunder for some irrational reason. Missy wasn’t like that, I was just incredibly insecure about the status of my relationship with my baby’s father.
I decided to get ahead on some baby shopping. I had read on where to shop for a baby on a budget, and which products were worth springing a little bit more money towards. Babies grew so fast in the first 1 to 6 months that they were going to be in out of their new clothes in the blink of an eye. Car seats and strollers needed to be safe and durable so it made more sense to put my money there.
I was going to enjoy this. I was determined to make my journey as a new mother, single or not, as fun and enjoyable as possible. I didn’t need Toby’s permission to be excited about being a new mother and thanks to my job with Missy, I didn’t need his money to buy the kind of products or give my baby the kind of life that I wanted to be able to afford.
Yes, going after him for child support had crossed my mind, but once again it didn’t feel like it was worth engaging him just for more disappointment. In that same vein however, he was rich, connected, and powerful, I did not want to end up in a court battle with him because he would win simply off the strength of his net worth. I was treating this like he wasn’t there. Like he was dead. The father of my child died and I was all alone, essentially because I couldn’t allow myself to rely on him. He had shown me exactly how reliable he was.
I followed the map on my phone to the boutique that I had looked up online. It was owned by an independent designer who made the full range of baby products all the way from diapers and bottles to car seats and strollers, even educational books and toys. I like the philosophy and the ownership of the brand so I wanted to investigate. Inside, I was one a few patrons browsing the merchandise.
Three women and one man were paired off into couples, and then there I was alone. I felt myself try to seem smaller and make up excuses in my head about why my partner wasn’t there to me in case anyone asked. Getting used this was going to be harder than I initially thought.
“Excuse me ma’am, how are you?” A smiling attendant said, coming up to me. I stopped touching the mobile I was looking at. Unlike the traditional mobiles I had seen in the past, the ornaments were softly colored paper cranes hanging at different heights.
“I’m fine thanks, just browsing. I found you guys online and I wanted to take a look.” She smiled and nodded.
“That’s great. Just let me know if I can help you with anything specific,” she said. Since she offered, I said that I did. I was curious about the sizing system they used for their clothing when I noticed someone through the glass storefront. He looked right at me and made eye contact before he quickly dropped his gaze and started walking away. Paul. That crazy motherfucker was following me.
I hastily thanked the attendant and hurried out, walking after him. I yelled his name but he ducked around a corner and I lost him. He was still stalking me. The man I actually wanted to talk to was ghosting me, and the one I couldn’t stand wouldn’t leave me alone.
He must’ve thought that I was kidding when I told him I was going to get the police involved. This was the last straw.
I had to do it, there was no one else I could turn to and this time I wouldn’t be too afraid to press charges.
It wasn’t like I could tell Missy what was happening, well, I could, but I didn’t want to do that yet. My pride was probably a stupid reason, but I wouldn’t be able to take the humiliation of opening up about sex with Toby on top of my psycho ex coming back to haunt me.
Speaking of Toby, he had the type of money that could arrange for a mystery disappearance of Paul if I really wanted that to happen. I did not want that to happen, I just wanted him to stay away from me and Toby was no longer interested in me and my life, so I was on my own.
Plans changed. I made my way to the precinct. Maybe a restraining order would tell him that I was serious since he didn’t seem to believe me. It was almost nightfall by the time I was leaving the station and my hopes had unfortunately not been lifted. I had been through the process before but it was difficult this time because you had to know personal details about the person you were filing against. Not that I wanted to but I didn’t know anything about Paul’s current life.
I didn’t know where he was living, whether he lived alone or whether he even lived in the city. I didn’t know whether he was still using his old number or not. I had completely removed him from my life and now he was back and I couldn’t get him away from me. Back home, I was jittery.
I couldn’t take a shower without turning all the lights and TV o
n first. It made me feel safe. If he was outside and it sounded like there was activity in my house, he would think I had company and stay away.
I couldn’t believe it. I was back to being the nervous wreck I was when he and I were a couple. All these years later and he had me in a chokehold of anxiety.
I hated him. He was a monster and I couldn’t get rid of him. I was so nervous that I couldn’t eat. I decided to try and make myself some tea. My buzzer went off and I almost dropped my mug.
If it was him, I was moving.
Whoever was down there could see my light on so I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t home. I waited, hoping it wouldn’t happen again.
It did. I put my mug down and went to my window, peering downstairs.
It was Brenna, Eddy and Missy. I sighed, relieved and let them in.
“It’s about time you opened up,” Brenna said.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked and they trooped in, treats in hand.
“I know you’ve been struggling lately. I thought you’d like some company, so I rallied the troops,” Missy said. I hugged her.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything, let’s party,” Eddy said. We went to the living room and they revealed the spread, cupcakes, eclairs and non-alcoholic champagne. I was overwhelmed and I didn’t think it was the pregnancy hormones. I was so grateful I had friends who were so supportive that I didn’t even have to ask them for help when I needed it.
It made me think about the secrets I had been keeping from them.
“You guys, I’ve wanted to say something for a while now and I haven’t been completely up front with you all,” I said, fingering the icing on a cupcake.
“What is it?” Missy asked. I glanced at Brenna who already knew.
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Eddy said.
“I knew it! I’m sorry love but I don’t know, I just knew something was different about you,” Missy said.
“Did you really know?” I asked.
“Well, I had a feeling there was a guy involved and things weren’t going well… this doesn’t… it’s Toby, isn’t it?” she said. She wasn’t accusing me or pointing the finger, but it still felt a little awkward letting go of my secret.
“Yeah. Did Easton tell you?”
“He said that he was suspicious about what happened between you two at the cabin and after that, your actions kind of gave you away,” she said.
“You had sex with Toby?” Eddy said, still incredulous.
“Yeah… and then I did it again… and again… and again after that.”
“The baby is his right? But you guys aren’t…” Missy trailed off.
“That’s why I was so anxious about saying anything. I’m the newest member of this friendship pod and I’ve totally thrown things off,” I said.
“What are things like between you. Even if you aren’t together, you’re cool, right?” Eddy asked.
“I don’t know. He’s been ghosting me,” I admitted.
“You realise I have to kill him now,” Missy said.
“Please don’t. Don’t talk about this to anyone. It’s a mess but I’m trying to get things under control.”
“He can’t refuse to parent his child, Maggie. He has to be responsible,” Brenna said.
“I don’t have any expectations of him. At this point I just want a healthy baby. Don’t talk to him and don’t talk to Easton about this either, please?”
They all grudgingly agreed, and we changed the subject.
I felt lighter than I had in weeks now that the secret wasn’t only mine to keep and my baby would have a troop of kickass aunties as support. I knew they were there for me. They had just shown that I didn’t have to be scared of their judgement and they would help me when I needed it. The issue with Paul still felt raw. I had some, if not a lot of faith that the restraining order would work. I could deal with him now that the biggest secret was out in the open.
29
Toby
How many more flutes of champagne would it take to get toasted? I had already downed two and I wasn’t there yet. Charity galas were just a fancy way for rich people to set their friends and children up with each other, and to show off their wealth while appearing like they were doing the opposite. Somebody was on the stage and I didn't know who he was or what he was talking about. I didn't care. I wrote a check for the event, but I wasn't sure which country, natural disaster, or endangered bird was being rescued.
The only reason I came to these things was that I had to. It was good for networking, it was good to be seen in certain places by certain people. With that, a lot of the time, some very beautiful women were in attendance. In the past, I would go with the intention of going home with somebody, but that was not on the agenda tonight.
There is only one thing on my mind, one person.
It was past the point of being sad. Here I was at a gathering of all the richest, most connected, and powerful people in the city and all I could think about was the woman who rejected me. I flexed my back because my tux was getting a little uncomfortable. I couldn't wait to get home. A better idea was going to Maggie's apartment and figuring out once and for all why she cut me off. The only reason I had not done it yet was because I was waiting for Calvin and his guys to get back to me.
I was about to reach for more champagne when my phone went off. Finally an excuse to ditch. I took it out and flashed a fake look of apology at the people around me at the table before quietly making my way out of the hotel ballroom.
“Calvin? You better have something good for me, I just walked out of a very important gathering to talk to you,” I said, knowing I was ready to walk out at any second anyway.
“I think you'll be pleased then. I have some information on Paul Griffin and Maggie Weissman. They have history. It seems that they were a couple, unmarried but cohabitating. There are police reports from a few years ago, some domestic disturbances, and arrests for Paul.”
I felt hot. Them being together wasn't news to me, but the fact that the police had had to get involved was. I knew I had a bad feeling about him from the start and it wasn't just jealousy. I had a legitimate reason to hate him now.
“Did he go to jail?”
“Charges were dropped so it doesn't seem like he did any time. This might be interesting though, there are two restraining orders against him filed by Maggie Weissman. One from a few years back but the other one was filed just two days ago.”
I went from hot to cold. I was angry but now I was terrified. He had a history of violence? Something made Maggie scared of him and he was not behind bars where he should have been. If she filed it just yesterday, it meant that he had been following her. He was a liar. It was either they were together and they were going to get married or she was scared of him and she wanted the cops to intervene. It couldn't be both. That was not the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
“Have you seen that man, Paul around her apartment at all? I think he's stalking her.”
“More than just her apartment,” Calvin said.
“I'm going over there. I'm going to her apartment. I don't think she's safe.”
“Don't do that yet, I'm sending back up.”
I got off the phone before pausing to even thank him for his work. My night was officially over. Paul Griffin had been confirmed as dangerous and he was stalking Maggie. I needed to know what was going on between them. I refused to believe his side of the story anymore. And the baby, I needed to know whose baby that was.
I made my way straight to the elevator. Maggie's place was fifteen minutes away by car. I was going to make it in five.
30
Maggie
I worked my key into the door of my apartment building. It hadn’t been a busy day, but I was so relieved to be home. It wasn’t even late. It was just after seven o’clock and I was exhausted. Tiredness was supposed to be a pregnancy symptom, right?
When I got to the house, I was goin
g to clean up, cook, no, wait, order something in, and relax in front of the TV until I fell asleep. Yeah, that sounded like a good night. I didn’t know why I was so tired, it had to be the pregnancy. I wondered whether the whole nine months were going to be like this.
It happened so fast that it was over before I noticed. He came up from behind and rammed me into the door, pushing it open so that he got inside without letting me have a chance to stop him. He pulled my key out of the lock and closed the door behind him. Inside, I spun around to see who it was.
“I swear to God, Paul if you don’t give me my keys back,” I said.
“What are you going to do?”
“Give me the keys.”
“Not a chance, now let’s go.” He grabbed me and dragged me up the stairs with him to my unit. I fought back, pushing against him and trying to stop him from physically moving me, but he was bigger and stronger than I was. When we got to my door, he still had my keys so he opened it and pushed me inside. He was so rough that I almost fell over, when I stabilized myself he was locking the door.
“Fine, if you want to play that game,” I opened my purse and took out my phone. “You had your warning.” I thought that when he saw I was serious about calling the police on him, he would hand the keys over and chicken out, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t backing down at all. He just stood there, looking unfazed. I didn’t like that. It made me feel like he had something up his sleeve. I dialed 911 and held the phone to my ear, and then I heard a phone ring in the room. Paul started laughing. It took a second to realize what was happening.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he picked up the call and said, “911. What is your emergency?” His voice came through my phone.
“What the hell?” I almost tossed my phone onto the ground. “How did you do that?”
Admit You Need Me: A Secret Pregnancy Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 4) Page 18