“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. I consider telling her about the wedding, but I just can’t bring myself to say the words. Oh, hey, Johnny and I got married on a whim in Vegas. Seriously, who does that with a guy she’s just hooking up with for a summer?
“He’s totally smitten. I could see it all over his face.”
“He does seem to be, but, come on, it’s Johnny. He lives in the now.”
“You don’t think he could do a real relationship?”
“I don’t know, and if I asked him that, he’d be like, this is real, baby.” I roll my eyes but smile. “Everything is real to him. He’s unconventional and spontaneous, and I love that about him, but I’m not. I like traditional. It’s how I always pictured it. Plus, I’m going back to Valley, and he’s going to be here and traveling. It would be hard.”
“But not impossible.”
“You were supposed to be the other levelheaded one of the group,” I tell her. “You’re as bad as the other two now.”
She grins. “I can’t help it. Love—”
“Changes people?”
“I don’t think we change so much as we realize what it is we really care about. Everyone has their quirks. You have to figure out your deal breakers.” She tips her drink toward me. “You like traditional, but is spontaneous and unconventional enough to make you walk away from someone you love?”
“Apparently not,” I mutter as I turn the glass in my hands.
“So you do love him then?”
“He’s Maverick. Everyone loves him. You should see the people at the Wildcats. Most rookies walk in needing to prove themselves, or that’s what my friend Reese says, he’s another intern, but Johnny just stepped right into a team that is so excited to have him. He has this effect on people where they change their expectations for him. Without even meaning to, I think. He’s charming and fun, and people want to like him and be near him. Me included.”
“And we all thought you were immune to the Maverick charm.”
“He chipped away at my better judgment.”
“Or maybe you realized that your better judgment was getting in the way of you being deliriously happy?”
“It was a fun summer. Let’s leave it at that for now.”
“Okay. But I’m rooting for you two, just so you know.”
Johnny and Rhett join us a few hours later. Rhett and Sienna go to the bar to get drinks, and Johnny crowds in beside me, resting an arm around the back of the booth. It’s weird not touching him in public after letting our guard down so much in Vegas, but in here, people would definitely notice if we showed any signs that we’re together.
“Did you tell her?” he asks.
“No.” I shake my head, expecting disappointment to be etched in his features, but instead it’s relief.
“Oh, good.”
“Good?”
He chuckles. “I didn’t tell Rauthruss either, so if you told her I was about to get an earful.”
“Yeah, probably better we don’t tell anyone. None of our friends can keep secrets from each other. It’ll be around the group faster than you can say holy elopement.”
“Holy elopement,” he says, grinning. “I know we’re supposed to keep things on the low, but can I convince you to be my date tomorrow night? Rauthruss wants to take Sienna to some fancy-ass restaurant downtown. I had to make a call to get us in.”
“Throwing your name around in this town, huh?”
“Just for a good cause.”
“I think it’s sweet. And yes, but three feet rule.” I look at the small space between us. “Scooch.”
“Yes, wifey,” he whispers and moves down the wooden bench.
The next night we’re led through an elegant restaurant where the sound of wine being poured into glasses overpowers that of the polite conversation around us. I feel like I need to whisper. As usual, Johnny fits right in. He stands behind me as I take my seat and then takes the chair beside me.
He looks too good to be true. He skipped the suit jacket and wears gray dress pants and a black dress shirt that’s open at the collar and rolled up over his forearms.
Rhett looks nice too, but his nervous expression tells me he isn’t as comfortable in this place.
Johnny orders a bottle of champagne which makes me laugh. Yeah, he fits in just fine here.
“I hear congrats are in order,” I tell Rhett after we have drinks in front of us.
His eyes widen, and he looks from Johnny to me. I feel like I’m missing something.
I try again. “Sienna told me that your hockey camps this summer were fully booked, and you already have a waiting list for next year. That’s so exciting.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, it went really well.”
“I guess having a national champ running it is good for business,” Johnny says and lifts his glass. “Congrats, buddy.”
The food is terrific, and we go through an entire bottle of champagne, then order another with dessert. I’m feeling happy and frustrated that Johnny is so far away, and I can’t touch him in here. Times like this where we’re not hiding, and we’re out doing things other couples do, I can see it. I can picture us doing this for real. But I don’t know what that would look like with us a thousand miles apart.
He catches me staring at him and lifts a brow. “See something you like?”
“Maybe.” I inch my chair closer.
He smirks. “Tsk. Tsk. Three feet.”
“Two and a half,” I say and slide my foot under the table so our legs touch. He drops a hand to my knee and grazes his fingers across my smooth skin.
I’m lost in his touch when Rhett clears his throat and Johnny’s hand on my leg stills and then squeezes in warning. He rushes to get his phone and aims it across the table. I look up in time to see Rhett get down on one knee. Sienna brings both hands to her mouth in a gasp, her eyes full of tears.
Rhett’s words are sweet, though I hear little of them because I’m too stuck in my own head thinking I want that. All of that. To date, fall in love, move in together, get engaged. We’ve done things all wrong, Johnny and me, and there’s no taking it back. Can I really go back to Valley as his girlfriend after this summer? It all feels too messy.
“Yes!” Sienna shouts and frames his face with her hands. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” There’s polite applause around the restaurant.
Rhett slides the big diamond on Sienna’s finger, and then they go back to kissing. I run my thumb along the elastic on my finger. It isn’t about the diamond. It’s about the thought that went into it. Rhett probably spent weeks planning this moment. He was sure about his decision before he acted. It wasn’t a drunken whim.
“Congratulations!” Johnny refills our glasses with champagne, and we toast to the happy couple. I feel sick to my stomach, but I plaster on a smile for my friends.
We leave soon after. Johnny invites them to hang out with us and continue the celebration, but when we get to the apartment, they’re so lost in each other I’m not surprised when they decide to spend the rest of the night alone.
“Crazy night, right?” Johnny asks as we get ready for bed.
“You knew.”
He nods. “Yeah, Rauthruss told me last night. It’s why I didn’t tell him about us.”
“Right. Yeah, I’m so glad I didn’t tell Sienna now.”
“We can tell them in a week or two when their news has died down. I almost missed the whole thing with your sexy legs taunting me. Rauthruss would have been piiissed.”
“It’s sweet that you did all of that for them.”
“It was nothing. I’m happy for them and happy to be a part of it.”
“It made me realize that’s what I want,” I say, taking a seat next to him on the bed.
“Check.” He traces an imaginary check mark in the air. “Wifey.”
“I mean, all of it. I want to date someone, fall in love, then get engaged. We’ve done everything out of order.”
“Yeah, but it was all pretty great.” He shrugs.
“You want to break up?”
“Are we even together?” My laugh is brittle. “We decided to use each other for sex all summer, and then we got married in Vegas.”
“I was there. I know what happened, Kota. Your description isn’t accurate. It was never about using each other, and you know it. But whatever it was we did, I don’t regret any of it. Do you?”
I don’t regret it, not really, but if we hadn’t gotten married in Vegas would he still be trying to make this work? And the real kicker, the thing I can’t shake is the image of Johnny the first week in Minnesota when he got hurt. He begged me to stay because I was comfortable and familiar, a piece of Valley and his friendships that he’d made at college. When I leave, he’ll go out more and make friends, meet new people. He’ll start his new life here, and then will he still want this?
I don’t answer, and he nods slowly. “Guess that’s my answer.”
He sits up. “We’re good together. I’ve never had this with anyone. Ever. Maybe it doesn’t fit into whatever box you’re trying to force it in, but it doesn’t make it any less.”
“Johnny, I—” My voice cracks as I realize he’s not just talking about me right now. I’ve done exactly what his dad does to him—made him feel like he isn’t good enough.
He holds up a hand and moves toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to take a walk. Believe it or not, sometimes I do know when to walk away.”
I go to bed feeling like an ass, hoping he comes back. He does two hours later. The bed dips with his weight, and he lies beside me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Me too.” His mouth slants over mine. And then there are no more words. We spend the rest of the night speaking our love language of kisses and touches that make promises and dreams neither of us dares to say out loud.
35
Johnny
Monday morning, I stare down at the picture I took of Dakota in Vegas draped all over me, and then I glance over at where she sleeps on the other side of the bed currently. Yesterday we spent the day with Sienna and Rhett, and last night instead of rehashing our shit, we fell into bed and had sex instead.
I want this to work. I’ll give her whatever she wants. She wants a diamond ring and an elaborate proposal? I’m on it. She’ll never even see it coming. In fact, I’m a little pissed at myself for not going bigger the first time. I was in the moment, a little drunk, and I just wanted her to be mine.
But, as soon as she goes to work, let the planning begin. The most epic of proposals. I’m thinking something big. I’ll make a movie trailer starring our friends, rent out a theater, fly in everyone, and have five or six different rings for her to pick from. No, something even bigger. I’ll work out the details later.
I have an email from Hugh asking what I want to do about the marriage—his way of nicely asking if I want to file the paperwork for an annulment. I don’t respond. Not necessary, Hugh. I’m gonna fix this.
But first, I open up Instagram and post the picture of Dakota, cropped so it’s just a sexy leg tangled in the sheet with one single word. Mine.
She’s mine, and it’s time to figure this out so I can tell the world.
I shower and make her morning smoothie. I can be an epic husband. I’ve already been an epic summer hookup, if I do say so myself. I just need to show her how serious I am about this. Big and bold gestures, baby, bring it.
I grab my phone and scroll through local jewelry stores while I wait for her to wake up. I’m anxious, foot tapping, mind racing with possibilities. Is she a round cut or square cut kind of girl? Regular diamond, or would she like a yellow or black or something totally different than a diamond?
“What the hell, Johnny?” I look up from my phone as she rushes out from the bedroom, still in the oversized T-shirt she slept in.
“Morning, baby. Sorry about the noise. I tried a new smoothie recipe. It sucked, so I had to start over.”
“I’m not talking about the noise. I’m talking about this.” She holds out her phone to show me my post of her leg on my Instagram.
“You should see the original. Your veil is covering your face, and your arm is around my chest—”
“Why would you post this?”
“I wanted everyone to know I’m taken. I’m in this. Not just for the summer, for real. And I didn’t show your face or tag you.”
She closes her eyes and blows out a breath. “They know, Johnny. They know it’s me.”
“Who? Our friends?” I shrug. “They already know.”
“No, my boss, your teammates, my coworkers.”
I look at the picture again. “Your legs are memorable, but I doubt they’re going to be able to tell from a grainy picture. I blurred it a little, so it’s harder to tell.” I wink. I thought of all of this already.
I get another sigh. “The shoes, Johnny. They know because of my shoes.”
I bring it up again and see the red Converse at the bottom of the photo. They’re such a staple in her wardrobe, I didn’t even notice. “You said you wished you had white ones that night.”
She places a hand on top of her head and paces. “Oh god. I’m going to be fired.”
I come around the counter and stand in front of her. “They’re not going to fire you.”
“Why don’t you understand how serious this is?” She raises her voice. “This is going to cost me my job.”
“It won’t. I’ll take it down. Fuck. I just wanted to tell someone. I’m tired of keeping this to myself. I’m crazy about you. I’m in this.”
“Someone? You told everyone.”
Her phone pings, and she whimpers as she looks at it. “That’s Blythe. She wants to meet with me first thing this morning.”
Already? Damn. Panic makes my throat tight. “I’ll talk to her.”
“No.” Her tone is stern. “You might as well tag me in it if you show up to talk to her.”
“I know you don’t want to tell people, but we are married, Kota. If you tell her, she can’t fire you.”
“You really think I want to pull the Johnny Maverick card again to keep my job? I wanted to earn this job. I wanted to do things the right way.”
“Fuck the right way, Kota. It’s bullshit. Do whatever makes you happy.”
“Like you?” She scoffs and then sighs. “I’m Johnny Maverick, and I do whatever I want on a whim. Fuck the consequences.” She stops, eyes wide like she can’t believe she said that out loud. “I didn’t mean that.”
“No, you did, and I guess I deserve that. I haven’t done things the way I wanted with you, but I don’t regret it because of where it brought us.”
“I have to go to work,” she says, voice small and broken. I’m gutted. I can’t believe I screwed this up so epically.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fuck this up for you. I just wanted you to know how much I want this.” I hug her to my chest. I will fix this somehow. “Everything is going to be okay. You’ll see.”
36
Dakota
Everything is not okay.
I take a seat in Blythe’s office, stomach clenching and acid rising in my throat. Reese and Quinn both texted, along with Reagan, Sienna, and Ginny. I’m blowing up. And Johnny thought no one would know? Seriously?
“Katherine will be here soon, but I wanted to talk to you first and get ahead of it. I can’t tell you how much I despise prying into my intern’s lives, but the news that Johnny Maverick is off the market is big news. Made bigger by the fact these red shoes look a lot like yours.” She glances down. I wore them today because not wearing them made me feel too guilty.
“We’re together,” I confirm. “I’m sorry. I know I should have told you.”
She gives me a sad smile. “Katherine will want you and Johnny to sign a form disclosing the
relationship, and I can work with you both to draft a statement if you’d like, but I’m afraid I will have to reassign you to another department. I can make some calls, but it’s the last week. What do you want to do?”
“I can’t imagine working for anyone but you. This summer has been amazing.”
“You’re talented and hardworking. You’ll be okay.” But it doesn’t feel okay. This was my chance to prove myself, and all I did was become an urban legend like Crissy before me.
I think about Johnny’s advice, tell her we’re married. The thing is, Blythe has become my role model. I respect her, and I can’t bear to see the disappointment on her face that I would expect if I told her I got married in a hush-hush ceremony drunk off my ass. All I have to do is picture my dad’s reaction, and I feel like the lowest human alive.
Besides, she’d probably still have to reassign me.
“I think I want to go home,” I say and mean it. “Thank you for this opportunity.”
She stands and hugs me. “It was my absolute pleasure. Stay in touch, Dakota.”
I have to suffer through an awkward exit interview with Katherine, and then I walk out of the Wildcats office for good.
As I get on the elevator at the apartment building, I bite back angry tears, ready to unload on Johnny, but I know it isn’t him I’m angry with. This is all on me. I should have told Blythe weeks ago.
I go up to the eleventh floor, and by the time I get there, I realize all I really want is for Johnny to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay again. I don’t believe it, but I still want to hear it. I want to live in our summer of fun just a little longer.
But he isn’t home, and I can’t bear to be here without him, so I get back in the elevator, not sure where I’m going but not wanting to be alone.
When the elevator stops, Declan and Leo are waiting inside. I wipe my tears and step into the small space.
“Hey, Dakota,” Leo says in his soft, deep voice. Both guys give me a nervous once-over.
I wave, not trusting myself to speak.
Wild Love (Campus Nights Book 4) Page 23