Counterfeit Confections

by Jessica Beck

  “That’s what I don’t get,” I said. “Why not do it on their own kitchen table, or even in their basement or shed? Why risk losing it at a place they can’t control?”

  “It probably didn’t seem all that risky when they chose the house in the first place. How could they know it was going on the market so quickly? Besides, what if they’d been caught red-handed with those bills? By processing them at the house, they were distancing themselves from their illegal activities.”

  “I suppose it makes sense when you look at it that way,” I said.

  I was about to add something more when I heard footsteps approach the kitchen from the living room. There was just one bite left of the dessert, and I made an executive decision and forked it into my mouth before there could be any formal protest.

  “We were wondering if there was any of that pineapple upside-down cake left,” Phillip said as he walked in with Jake close on his heels.

  I was in no position to answer since my mouth was full of the remnants of our dessert, but Momma came to my rescue. “Sorry, but I’m afraid that it’s all gone.”

  The look of disappointment on the men’s faces would have been hilarious if it hadn’t been so heartbreaking. Momma added, “There are some odds and ends of pies in the refrigerator, if you two are honestly still hungry. I’m sorry I can’t offer you more than that.”

  Jake piped up immediately, though Phillip seemed a little reticent to accept her offer. “That sounds great,” my husband said.

  “Jake, do you honestly need another dessert?” I asked him, feeling a slight bit guilty since I’d just stuffed some down my own throat minutes earlier.

  “Define need. I worked hard today, Suzanne. Don’t I deserve a little extra?”

  “Of course you do,” I said, laughing at his pitiful expression.

  “Why don’t you two go back into the living room? We’ll make some fresh coffee and bring that and the pie slices right out,” Momma suggested.

  “That sounds amazing,” Jake said.

  “Phillip, I noticed earlier you appeared to be hesitant about taking me up on my offer. Should I take that to mean that you don’t want any more dessert yourself?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear,” he said with a grin. “I’m not sure how you got that impression, but if you’re offering treats, I’m accepting. You don’t even have to ask.”

  She laughed at her husband as well.

  Once the men were gone, I said, “I’ll gather up the rest of the dishes while you make the coffee and get the pie slices out of the fridge.”

  “Are you having some, too?” she asked me.

  I was stuffed, but I wasn’t about to admit it. After all, I was at least as big a fan of my mother’s pies as my husband was. “Maybe a sliver or two,” I said. “How about you?”

  “I doubt I could hold one more bite, but you should feel free to have some if you’d like.”

  “I will, then.”

  Once we were all settled in the living room, our pie gone but some of the coffee still remaining, Momma asked, “How long do you think it will be before we get the house back, Phillip?”

  Her husband shook his head. “I have no idea. That’s way over my pay grade. Jake, you’ve dealt with the Secret Service before. What do you think?”

  “I’m guessing it will be a minimum of three days, and the maximum could go on for months.”

  “That long?” I asked.

  “The Secret Service takes their responsibilities very seriously,” Jake said. “They won’t just let it go. They can’t afford to. Counterfeit money is bad for everyone involved.”

  “Except the crook who passes it off as being the real deal,” I said. “How do they keep from getting caught, even once they make the phony money?”

  “Mostly they’re arrested after the first few tries, but sometimes they’re cagey about it. I suppose it all depends on who’s behind this scheme.”

  It was something to think about. “And in the meantime, Momma is losing money on her investment every day.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” my mother said as she waved a hand in the air. “That house is in a valuable area. I have great hopes that eventually Union Square and April Springs will grow into one large city.”

  “How long do you think that will take?” I asked her incredulously.

  “Oh, most likely not in my lifetime, and perhaps not even in yours, but you have to keep an eye on the future.”

  “Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to my daily speculation about how many donuts to make each morning,” I told her. “That’s enough of a peek into the future for me.”

  “Suzanne, sometimes you lack true vision,” Momma said.

  “I’ve never denied it,” I said with a grin. “So, the project is on hold indefinitely. What are you two going to do in the meantime?”

  Jake glanced at Phillip, who nodded in agreement. After getting approval, my husband said, “We were just discussing that in the living room. As a matter of fact, we were thinking about trying to catch the counterfeiter ourselves.”

  “What do you think Agent Blaze is going to say about that?” I asked him.

  “Suzanne, you know better than most that sometimes the wheels of justice are slow, and I don’t want to wait around forever to finish this house. Besides, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” He said the last bit with a grin.

  Just then his cell phone rang. “Speak of the devil,” he said as he looked at the caller ID. “I’ve got to take this.” He stepped toward the front door.

  “You don’t have to go outside,” I said.

  “I won’t be a minute,” he answered as he hurried out the door.

  Once he was gone, Momma asked, “What do you think that’s about?”

  “I wouldn’t even care to guess,” I said.

  “She’s rather attractive, isn’t she?” Momma asked guardedly.

  I thought she was talking to me, but for some reason Phillip decided to answer her. “I suppose some people might think so. As for me, I’ve never cared for redheads myself.”

  Momma looked at him and smiled. “Phillip, you’d have to be blind not to see that woman is beautiful, no matter what color her hair might be. It’s fine with me if you admit it.”

  “Okay, she’s drop-dead gorgeous,” he answered a little too enthusiastically and a little too quickly.

  “Let’s not get carried away, though, shall we?” Momma asked him.

  “No, of course not. Fine. She’s a bit above average, truth be told, but not more than a little bit.”

  “You, sir, are a big fat liar,” Momma said with a bright smile.

  Phillip just shrugged, but I saw him hiding a smile as well.

  Jake came back in a few minutes later. “Well, that’s off the table.”

  “What is?” I asked him.

  “Agent Blaze called to tell me to keep my nose out of her case and for the rest of you to do the same as well. She made it crystal clear that she doesn’t want anyone muddying the waters, including me.” He seemed hurt by the exclusion, but he’d better get used to it, since he didn’t have any official standing anymore.

  “It’s okay. There are other things we can do in the meantime,” I said as I patted his shoulder.

  “Like what?” he asked.

  “While I’m making donuts and Momma continues to run the world, you two can start gathering materials you’ll need, design the kitchen and bathrooms, pick out light fixtures, and figure out a thousand other things you’re going to be doing in the months ahead.”

  “Sure, that makes sense,” Jake agreed reluctantly, “but I was really looking forward to doing a bit of detecting if I couldn’t jump right into demolition work.”

  Phillip nodded in agreement. “There’s nothing quite like knocking out a wall or two.”

  I had to laugh. “Don’t worry, all of that will still be waiting for you once Agent Blaze releases the house to us again. In the meantime, start planning so you can hit the ground running
when she finally releases the place back to us.”

  “Jake, was there any wiggle room at all in what she told you on the phone about us looking into this?” Phillip asked him tentatively.

  “Trust me, we don’t want to cross Blaze,” he said. “She has a bite that’s worse than her bark, and I’ve seen her reduce thugs to whimpering little schoolkids with her words alone. We need to drop this right here and now.”

  “Understood,” my stepfather said with a grim nod of his head. “Do you still want to meet in the morning?”

  “You heard Suzanne. We have a ton of planning to do. Let’s grab a bite at the Boxcar, and then we can get started.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Phillip said. For a change of pace, he was the first one to yawn, something that was usually reserved for me. “I don’t know about you all, but I’m beat.”

  “I could sleep,” Jake admitted.

  “I can’t believe that I’m not the one ending the party first,” I crowed.

  “Are you saying you’re not tired, too?” Momma asked me.

  “Oh, I’m wiped out. I’m just glad that I wasn’t the first one to admit it.” As we stood, I hugged Momma fiercely. “Thanks for tonight. It was wonderful.”

  “Your presence made it so,” Momma said, squeezing me back just as tightly.

  After we said our good-byes, Jake and I made our way back home. I thought about bringing Agent Blaze up again, but I decided to leave it, at least for now.

  The less my husband thought about that intimidatingly attractive woman, the better, at least as far as I was concerned.

  Chapter 5

  I WOKE UP AN UNTOLD amount of time later to the sound of voices in the living room. When I reached across the bed, I confirmed that Jake was gone. From what I was hearing, it was obvious that he wasn’t alone, and I had a sneaking suspicion as to who he was talking to in the middle of the night. I stopped just long enough to grab a robe and some slippers and headed into the living room to see what was going on.

  I found Jake sitting on the armchair and Agent Blaze perched on the edge of the sofa, apparently hanging on his every word. Or was that just my imagination?

  “Suzanne, I’m sorry if we woke you,” Jake said as he rose instantly and kissed me.

  I noticed that Agent Blaze looked away for one second, and for some reason that made me smile. Could she actually be jealous of me? If she was, I was going to take comfort from that fact. “That’s okay. Can I make you both some coffee?”

  “No, I was just heading to the hotel, and I thought I’d stop by and give your husband an update,” Blaze told me. “You have a lovely home.” It was said almost automatically, but I happened to agree with her, so I just smiled.

  “Thanks. What’s going on? Or is there anything you can tell me?”

  “I told Agent Blaze earlier that I would share anything she told me with you,” Jake explained.

  “And you’re okay with that?” I asked her.

  The Secret Service agent grinned for a moment, losing the severe look that seemed to be her natural expression. Wow, was I glad she didn’t smile all of the time! She was way too stunning that way.

  “Apparently I have to be. I just wanted to let you know that we’re wrapping things up earlier than expected at the cottage.”

  “Really?” I asked as I sat on the sofa beside her. “I figured you’d be here for at least a few more days.”

  “The truth is that we caught a break,” the agent said. “The counterfeiter came back to the house while we were still there. In a way, it was almost too easy.”

  “Who was it?” I asked her.

  “A man named William Joseph Branch,” she said. “His friends call him Slick Willie, and I can see why. Evidently word on the street is that he’ll do anything for a buck. What can I say? Sometimes we get lucky.”

  “I’ve never heard of him,” I said, “and I know just about everybody in April Springs.”

  “He’s from Union Square, so that explains that. He waltzed right into the place as though he owned it, headed straight for the stairs, and we were waiting for him.”

  “Did he confess to counterfeiting those twenties?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “No, but it’s been my experience that criminals rarely confess, no matter what you might see on television or read in a book. Slick Willie denied everything. He claimed that somebody hired him through a third party. They gave him a hundred dollars to shine a light from the loft window, and that was all that he had to do. Once he accomplished that, he was promised two hundred more. I shouldn’t be surprised. Willie’s got a record a mile long. How ridiculous is that story?”

  “Let me guess. The hundred you found on him was all in twenties, and they were all as fake as the ones we found earlier, and what’s more, all of them were based on the new design of the twenties, not the old one,” I said.

  Agent Blaze looked at me with a new hint of respect. “That’s exactly right. We’ve got him with his own bills in his pocket.” She stood, and we followed suit. “Anyway, I just wanted to come by and let you know that you can have the house back.” She turned to Jake. “It was good seeing you again, Jake,” she said as she extended a hand.

  He shook it briefly, and then Agent Blaze shook mine as well. “Mrs. Bishop, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

  I wasn’t about to correct her. I really was Mrs. Bishop, though everyone in town still called me Hart. I had no intention of giving her any ideas that our relationship wasn’t rock solid. “You, too. Feel free to stop by the donut shop in the morning on your way out of town, and I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and a donut.”

  “Actually, I’ll be here for the next few days,” she explained. “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to accept gratuities, but I appreciate the offer.”

  “Happy to make it,” I said.

  After Agent Blaze was gone, I looked at Jake for a moment before I spoke. “Do you honestly believe that?”

  “Believe what?” he asked, clearly preoccupied by something.

  “That some small-time grifter was sophisticated enough to make those bills we found,” I said.

  “You heard what Blaze said. The man’s a known con.”

  “Sure, but what I want to know is, has he ever been arrested for counterfeiting before?”

  Jake kissed my nose. “You have a suspicious mind. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Hey, I thought that was why you loved me.”

  “Just one of many reasons,” Jake said. “Anyway, all’s well that ends well. We have the house back, and Phillip and I can get back to work in the morning.”

  “Don’t forget, I’ll be there after I close the donut shop,” I promised him.

  “Suzanne, I told you earlier today that you don’t have to pull double duty every day. You know that, don’t you?”

  “What am I going to do without you? You’ve spent enough time away from me, sir. I plan to spend all of my free time off with you, no matter what you’re doing. If that means cleaning out houses or mucking out stalls, then I’m in.”

  “If I know Agent Blaze, there won’t be any more cleaning to do. I’m willing to bet that she’s gone over every last inch of the place.”

  “I hope you’re right,” I said. “There’s nothing like a clean slate to start with, is there?”

  Jake laughed as he took my hand and led me into the bedroom. “That house is many things, but clean is not one of them.”

  “At least tomorrow we can get back to work,” I said. “Are you going to call Phillip and tell him the good news?”

  “I texted him the second I heard we were free to work again,” Jake admitted. “We’re still meeting bright and early tomorrow morning at the Boxcar Grill, and then we’re going back to work on the house.”

  “I’m willing to bet that it won’t be as early as I’m getting up.”

  “Suzanne, no one in their right mind would get up when you do by choice,” he replied.

  “Are you saying that I’m crazy?” I asked him with a grin.


  “No more than usual, but I love you just the same.”

  “That’s a good thing, because I doubt there’s any hope for me changing.”

  “I’m counting on you staying just the way you are,” he said with more than a hint of laughter in his voice.

  The next morning, it was life as usual at Donut Hearts. It was almost easy to forget what had happened the day before at the flip house, though I still had my doubts that Slick Willie was the only culprit in the counterfeiting scheme. Then again, if it was good enough for Agent Blaze, then it needed to be good enough for me.

  I had just finished dropping the cake donuts when Emma came in. “Have you gotten used to the new dropper yet?” she asked. Our original dropper had been used in a homicide on the premises, and we’d had to scramble to find a replacement. I’d pulled one of the antique ones from the wall, and after giving it a thorough scrubbing, I’d put it into immediate service.

  “To be honest with you, I haven’t even thought about it in weeks, so the answer is probably yes. How about you?”

  “I love it. It’s not nearly as heavy as the last one was, so I don’t feel as though I’m taking my life in my hands every time you use it.” She touched the spot on the wall where the old dropper had slipped out of my hands, and I had to smile.

  “What fun is that?”

  As she took off her light jacket and put on her apron, she grinned at me. “Making donuts shouldn’t be a hazardous profession, Suzanne.”

  “Neither should flipping houses, but you never know,” I said as I started on my yeast dough while Emma dove into the dishes.

  “I heard about what happened at the place you’re working on,” Emma said.

  “Let me guess. Your dad told you, right?”

  “Hey, you can’t blame him if he’s hunting for news.” She looked a little uncomfortable as she said it, and I wondered what was really on her mind.

  “Emma, is there something you’re not telling me?” I asked her.

  “No. Not really. It’s more of a question, to tell the truth.”

  “What is it? It’s not like you to beat around the bush. We’ve known each other long enough that you should know you can be direct with me. I certainly do the same thing with you.”