by CJ Murphy
“I think we’ll be okay.”
“Want some company? I’d like to come sit with you during her surgery.”
“I know you have patients.” Laurel shrugged. “If you want to drop by, you know where I’ll be.”
Liz winked at her.
Val squeezed Jo’s shoulder. “With that, we bid you good night. The show was great. I’m proud of you.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and that means make sure you name it after me. It’s pretty easy, J-O. Even a Jarhead like you should be able to spell it,” she teased giving Val the finger.
Laurel’s face flamed. Val beamed and flipped her friends the feathers in response. “More like S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D, Dogface.”
Val and Laurel made their way out, Val’s arm wrapped around Laurel’s shoulder, pulling her in close. Laurel’s arm rested around Val’s waist under the leather blazer, her hand in Val’s waistband. They reached the Jeep and Val put her back against the door and pulled Laurel between her outstretched legs.
“Have I told you how incredibly sexy you look tonight?” Val reached in to kiss those soft lips and then down her neck. It was a rhetorical question. She’d made that compliment several times.
“A time or two. It certainly doesn’t hurt a girl’s ego to hear it.”
Val’s need to touch Laurel was growing stronger. “I can’t help it. You are, and you’ve been driving me crazy all night. If you had put your hand in my back pocket one more time, I swear I was going to throw you down right there and make love to you on that gallery floor.”
Laurel shook her head. “It wasn’t my intention to make you crazy, just feels natural. Do you know what your touch does to me?”
Val ran her fingers into Laurel’s hair and cupped the side of her jaw. “I’ve got a pretty good idea.”
“You’re pretty sexy yourself, Viking. And for the record, Jo wasn’t the only one that was getting a little attention from the ladies tonight.”
“Let’s just say, the way you were growling at those so-called ladies, I think they got the message loud and clear.” She kissed Laurel again, her tongue seeking entrance. Laurel’s lips parted and she swirled her tongue around Laurel’s, exploring the soft recesses. She tastes so good.
Laurel broke the kiss. “Let’s take this somewhere a little less public, shall we?”
Val shivered and pressed her forehead into her lover’s. Reaching behind her, she opened the driver’s door for Laurel. “Your wish is my command.”
Laurel let out a sigh. “Remember you said that, Viking.”
“Why would I want to forget?”
Chapter Nineteen
LAUREL DROVE THEM BACK to Liz and Jo’s while Val dozed. All the way home, Laurel’s mind raced. I’m out of time here. We’re going to make love tonight and for the first time, she’ll see all of me. Her hands were sweaty on the steering wheel and her stomach felt like she was eight years old and on the Scrambler at the county fair. The streetlights cast shadows on the ground. They reached out and then retreated, just like her fears. I want Val, and I want to be with her. I want her to know me, just like I told her I wanted to know all of her. Val had never given her any indication that she cared about surface things. She wasn’t about flash. She was genuine. Laurel rubbed her forehead. She could be with anyone but she wants to be with you. She remembered Gram’s words. ’Never known ya to be a coward. I sure as thunder didn’t raise ya to be one.’ It was time to find the courage she’d used to fight all those years ago. She’d need it again if she was going to have any future with Val.
They made it back to Liz and Jo’s and up to their bedroom. Laurel kissed Val. “I need to get your meds and change. I’ll be right back.”
“For what I have in mind, you won’t need pjs.”
Laurel closed her eyes for a moment, reveling in the heady look of desire falling across Val’s face. She sighed and rested her cheek on Val’s chest. The moment of truth.
“What’s wrong, love?”
Laurel took a shaky breath and leaned back in Val’s arms. Give me a minute and I’ll be right back. I need to share something with you. Something few people know about me.” She ran her finger over Val’s shirt collar and then left to retrieve the medicine and a bottle of water. Coming back into the room, she noticed that Val had a concerned look on her face, but her gaze encouraged Laurel to continue.
“Remember I told you my mother died of breast cancer?”
Val nodded swallowing the pills.
Laurel cleared her throat and she moved back into Val’s arms. “I was in my sophomore year of college and I found a lump in my breast. I immediately made an appointment with my doctor. The scans showed a mass.” She felt Val’s body tense. “They were able to do a biopsy along with some blood tests, including a DNA test for the BRCA 1 and 2 genes. While the mass turned out to be just a cyst, unfortunately I came back positive for the BRCA 1 gene.” Her voice grew soft. “That meant there was a good chance that eventually, I’d develop breast cancer. After a lot of discussion with Gram and my doctors, I decided to have double radical mastectomies to lower my probabilities. I couldn’t take the chance I wouldn’t be around to take care of Gram.” She gave Val time to let the information sink in.
Val looked at Laurel in utter disbelief. “Honey, why are you telling me this now? Are you afraid I’ll change my mind about how I feel about you?”
Laurel watched a look of fear cross Val’s face. It was as if a dialog box popped up over her head. “Val, I’m healthy now. This happened a long time ago, I’m ok. I was worried you might…”
Tears welled up in Val’s eyes. “I might what?”
Laurel’s face grew hot, and her chest heaved. She tried to hold back the torrent that threatened. She looked at Val’s face. The look broke the damn Laurel had been struggling to hold back. Tears poured from her eyes. How can I make Val understand? Her voice was barely above a whisper. “That you might not see me the same way.”
Val stood silent for a few seconds saying nothing. Tears dripped off her quivering chin. “Laurel, you’ve seen all my scars and the pieces of me that are missing. You’ve made love to me more than once. Unless those are tears of joy for you surviving, you have nothing to cry about. Nothing.” She lifted Laurel’s chin, wiping the tears away with her thumbs. “Do you think this makes me want you less?”
“It’s not that, it’s just...”
Val pulled her even closer. After a second, Val forced her chin up and looked deep into her eyes. Her voice was soft, gentle. “Just what? Do you think that I won’t still see you as the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known? That because you made a choice to save your life, I’d see you as less of a woman?”
Laurel heard Val’s voice break and the words came with a touch of anger.
“You don’t give me much credit, if that’s what you think.” Val released her hold and turned her back to Laurel, hugging her sides. “Fuck, Laurel, I had my leg blown off in Iraq. I almost lost my arm. More recently I bounced off the blacktop.” She turned back around. “Do you see me as less?”
“No,” Laurel yelled, her hand covering her mouth. She couldn’t hold back the emotion now. Her sobs filled the room and she dropped her head into her hands.
“Then why would you think this would change the way I feel about you? It makes me want you more.” Val took her back into her arms and put her lips to her temple. “You’re a warrior, honey. Your battle might not have been fought in the desert, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less courageous than anyone who has. Laurel, give me the chance to show you that no matter what is or isn’t beneath your shirt, I love and care about you.”
Laurel melted into her arms and sobbed, an immense weight lifted off her. Val kissed her. She felt warm breath against her cheek and a tongue trace the curve of her ear. She felt the words as much as heard them.
“I want to take you to bed and make love to you. I want you to feel the love I have for you in every cell of your body.”
Laurel reached up and delved
her fingers in Val’s hair, holding her face to hers. She needed more and kissed Val, pulling her lower lip into her teeth, then drove her tongue into Val’s mouth, expressing as much need as she could.
Val broke the kiss again and murmured against her lips. “I want to strip you down and make love with you until you scream, until you beg me to let you come and so much more. And after all that,” she kissed her, “if you still doubt that I love you exactly as you are, then I’ll start all over again until you do.” Val pulled back and placed her hands on each side of her face. “I love you, Laurel. I have for a long time. I want you inside both my body and my soul. I want to drink you in until you’re inside my every cell.” Val took a deep breath and pressed her forehead to Laurel’s.
Tears poured from both of their eyes as Laurel led Val to bed. She unbuttoned Val’s shirt and ran her hands across the broad muscular chest that lay beneath. Her fingers brushed Val’s nipples, and Val arched into her touch. A surge of power rippled through Laurel at the sight, erasing the tears. She undid Val’s jeans and knelt to take off her leg and boot. She pushed Val up against the bed, letting the jeans fall to the floor. “Lie down.”
Val did as she was directed, her eyes never leaving Laurel’s. Laurel removed most of her clothes, leaving the peasant shirt hanging loosely on her torso. She climbed onto the bed and straddled her lover, taking in the sensation of Val’s hands softly caressing her outer thighs. Laurel could see the scars on Val’s legs and another that ran around her side. As Val reached her left arm up to touch her face, a third scar running up the back of her arm became visible. Val called her a warrior for the battle she fought. The real warrior lay beneath her, touched by the savagery of war. She’s so beautiful. Closing her eyes tightly, she leaned into Val’s touch. She turned to kiss the palm of her strong, yet gentle, hand, tears starting again and streaming down her cheeks. Opening her eyes, she could see the tenderness in Val’s face. She trembled with anticipation and a hint of trepidation. Her body ached for Val’s touch. Justified or not, her anxiety was still real.
Val sat up, wrapping her arms around Laurel. “We don’t have to do this. I hate to see you this upset.”
She ran a finger across Val’s lips. “No, it’s time. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to share this with more. I’m just afraid and it’s never mattered as much as it does now.”
“Don’t be afraid. Help me take off your shirt. I can’t get my arm up that high.”
Laurel hesitated and then crossed her arms to draw the shirt up and over her head, revealing her lacy red bra. She looked at Val knowing that, for the first time in her life, she was truly about to make love. She’d had sex before, but not with anyone she’d loved like this or who had shown her the depth of their devotion the way Val had. It was time to let the past and all her fears go.
Reaching behind her, Val undid the clasp, kissing Laurel’s chest as she did so. “You’re so beautiful.” She reached up to draw the straps off Laurel’s shoulders.
Laurel kept her eyes on Val’s face, but her lover was no longer looking in her eyes. The lace fell away. The look of disappointment she anticipated never came. Val did look at her and desire was the only thing Laurel watched pass through her. Val’s hands rose to cup her breasts and she saw a wince she tried to hide. “Watch your arm.”
“I’m fine.” Val leaned forward and kissed the scars. She looked up at Laurel and ran a gentle finger across them.
Laurel shivered at the touch of soft lips on her chest. She couldn’t feel the touch on her reconstructed breasts, but she fantasized about the sensation. The visual impact filled her with desire. Val’s soft voice reached her.
“These lines are more than scars. These lines are the ones you drew in the sand. They’re the ones that bear witness to your battle, your desire to live.” She kissed Laurel, long and deep. With her fingers, she traced each breast. “Can you feel me touch you?”
Laurel’s breathing quickened. “The nerves were severed during the procedure. They don’t respond like my natural breasts did. I can feel you touch me, but it’s different than it used to be.”
“I only care about now, love,” Val said with a smile. “I want this to be pleasurable for you and if me touching you here makes you uncomfortable, then there are other places I want to run my fingers and tongue.”
Laurel shivered. “You can touch me however you need to, Val. This is as much about your pleasure as it is mine. I need you to touch me.” Laurel placed her hands on Val’s shoulders as she rocked her hips into Val.
“You’re the bravest person I know, love.” Val softly kissed between Laurel’s breasts and rubbed her cheek over the soft swells to each side of her lips. She licked the reconstructed nipple, sucking it into her mouth. The desire in her eyes clearly mirrored in Laurel’s.
“Just watching you do that turns me on.” Laurel cupped Val’s face, holding it closer to her breast. Val lavished both breasts with attention, softly kissing both of them. Laurel watched as Val’s eyes turn dark and her grin feral. With a shift of Val’s hips, Laurel found herself under Val. Heat rose through her core. “Please be careful, love.” Her hips bucked as Val’s tongue stroked around the small gold belly button ring adorned with a pink ribbon dangling from it.
“I’m fine.” Val tugged it with her teeth.
Laurel’s hips bucked again at the first warm kiss placed in the hollow valley where her hipbone protruded. “Val.”
Val held herself above Laurel. “In my wildest dreams, I could never have imagined how beautiful you truly are.” She traced Laurel’s breast with the back of her hand.
Laurel shuddered under Val’s touch. Placing her hands on Val’s shoulders, she pushed until Val settled her between her thighs. Allowing her knees to fall apart, she gave her lover access to her greatest need. Val’s crystal blue eyes danced, locking onto her own. She watched with unbridled desire as Val stilled. She saw the predatory glint of a conquering Viking passing over her face. She felt her breath leave her chest in anticipation as she watched Val slowly lower her head. Warm breath brushed across her clit, seconds before a soft tongue found her. I’m so gone.
***
Using her hand, Val spread Laurel open and drank in the sweetness that flowed across her tongue. She licked and sucked until Laurel writhed beneath her. She tried desperately to maintain control, fighting her own growing need. She brought her good hand to Laurel’s entrance and ignored the pain screaming from her injured shoulder as she moved it up to hold Laurel’s hip. She wouldn’t give into it and lose these moments. Sliding two fingers inside, the tense muscles closed around her. For the first time in Val’s life, she felt connected body and soul to someone. Not just someone, this woman. She stroked through the tight muscles, feeling the contractions building. I could never have imagined this. She met Laurel’s eyes and broke the contact her lips had with the swollen clit that called to her so strongly. The look in Laurel’s eyes was full of need and want. “Laurel, I love you.”
“Please, baby, please. God, please! I love you!”
A switch flipped in Val. She withdrew the two fingers and pushed three back in, stroking deeper.
“More!”
Val added a fourth finger and Laurel arched in pleasure, the tendons in her neck standing out starkly against the soft skin around them. Laurel’s lips parted and her breaths came out in deep pants, her fingers digging into Val’s shoulders. She threw her head back and closed her eyes.
Val gritted her teeth and ignored the fingers causing her pain, reveling only in the pleasure of Laurel’s body and their mutual climb toward the epic release. She’d never experienced pleasure of this magnitude, nor the all-consuming need to claim and be claimed. She felt it starting, the clinch, the spasms, and the release. Watching Laurel, she knew she was right on the precipice with her. She took in a deep breath, surrounded by the scent of their passion.
“I am yours, body and soul. You’re all I’ll ever need.”
She lowered her head, pulling Laurel’s clit i
nto her mouth and pushed the thumb of her injured arm against the tight ring of muscle to heighten the orgasm. She felt Laurel’s body go rigid and rise off the bed.
With a massive shudder, Laurel went over and Val followed her, crashing into the pleasure that enveloped them. As the wave crested, ebbed and crested again, they collapsed back onto the bed panting in a desperate attempt to recover. Val lay with her head on Laurel’s abdomen, her fingers still sheathed within Laurel’s body, as the spasms tightened and released. She was overcome with emotion.
“I love you, Laurel.”
Laurel whispered and with trembling hands reached for Val. “Hold me. Please.”
She pulled her hand away from Laurel’s heat and climbed up to cover Laurel’s body, Val kissed every inch as she went, settling into the arms that invited her inside, wrapping her arms around Laurel’s quivering body.
As Laurel’s breathing settled, she kissed Val’s temple. “I love you with every fiber of my being, deep in my soul.”
“There’s not much left of me, honey. I promise you, what there is, loves you more than I ever thought possible.”
Taking Val’s face in her hands, Laurel made direct eye contact. “What’s left of you, Viking, is more than I ever dared dream of. All I want to do is love you as much as I can for as long as you’ll let me.”
The night settled in around them, their breathing falling into an easy rhythm. Sleep claimed them, arms and legs entangled, finding security in a love Val believed wasn’t possible. She now knew it was, and that it existed between them.
Hours passed and soft light began to filter in the window around the shade. Val hadn’t greeted the dawn, skin to skin, with anyone in years. She spooned tight up against Laurel’s back. Her arm stretched across Laurel’s body, her hand nestled between soft breasts. She felt her hand lift and warm lips kiss each finger. Keeping her eyes closed, she kissed Laurel’s shoulder and rolled onto her back, pulling Laurel over with her. She groaned at the sensation of Laurel shifting on top of her and felt soft fingers run over her lips. She opened her eyes a fraction to watch as Laurel leaned down to softly kiss her.