by Ella Frank
Think, Xander…think.
I was just about convinced I was the most unobservant person in history when a flash of recognition hit, a moment from months ago that— No. But when I looked at the photo again, I realized that yes, I had seen Kyle Gates before, and I knew exactly where it had been.
“The news station.”
“What was that?” Sean said, and stepped up beside me.
I handed him the photo and pointed at it. “A couple of months ago, there was a tour at ENN. They do them every so often, and a couple of the guests get a one-on-one with me. Kyle was one of the guests. I remember it now. It didn’t stand out before because just as I walked in and introduced myself, Jim pulled me out because a story broke. I didn’t even get to hear his first question…”
I turned to Nichols and said with one hundred percent confidence, “That’s where he met me.”
“And that must’ve set him off. He took that as you rejecting him—”
“But that’s…”
“Crazy?” Nichols nodded. “From what we can ascertain from the articles and date stamps on his phone, that original meeting and dismissal set off a fantasy in his head that led him to obsess over you. He learned your work routine, your exercise route—he even integrated himself into your home life by working as a cleaner in the building you live in so he could spend time in your condo when you weren’t there—”
“Wait.” A shiver of terror shot down my spine. My legs gave out from under me, and I fell into the couch behind me. “He was in my apartment more than once?”
Sean came over and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“He had several photos of himself in there, yes,” Nichols said.
My hand flew up to my mouth, to stop the gasp or me vomiting, I wasn’t quite sure. But the idea of him in my place once had been disturbing enough. The thought of him there multiple times, not to mention that he could’ve entered when I was there… “Oh my God.”
“That piece of shit,” Sean muttered.
Nichols gathered up a stack of pictures from the file. “I can show you if you—”
“No.” I shook my head. If I saw where he’d been or what he touched, I’d never be able to go back there again. As it was, I wasn’t sure I could anyway.
“Okay. That’s okay. You’ve done more than enough already. We just wanted to give you some insight into this guy and why he did what he did. None of it was your fault, Mr. Thorne. There was nothing you could’ve done differently. He was just a sick man.”
A sick man? That sick man had almost cost Sean his life. It was all good and well to say that it wasn’t my fault. But that didn’t help me deal with the fact that it felt like it was my fault.
“That’s it from me,” Nichols said as he got to his feet, file in hand. “If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you,” I said, but doubted that would happen. I knew all I needed to know, and if I never had to think about Kyle Gates again, it would be too soon.
“Thanks for stopping by,” Sean said, and shook Nichols’ hand as he walked him down the hall.
“Anytime. Hey, you said the captain caught up with you?”
“He did,” Sean said. “I gave my report via the phone and he said to come down when I’m back on my feet, no rush.”
“Very good. You just keep up with the rest. We need your sorry ass back ASAP.”
“Will do. See ya.”
“Catch you later.”
As the door shut in Nichols’ wake and everything fell silent, I sat alone in Sean’s living room and thought back to everything Nichols had just said.
Kyle Gates had been a serial kidnapper, likely a murderer, and he’d been in my house on more than one occasion.
How was I ever going to set foot in there again? And did I really want to?
The short answer to that was no.
13
Xander
“UGH, I HATE doctors.”
I lowered the magazine I’d been reading for the past twenty minutes and looked at Sean where he sat opposite me in the waiting room. It was Friday, a little under a week since he’d been released from the hospital, and we were here today for his follow-up with Dr. Marx.
This was the moment where he’d be told yay or nay food-wise, exercise-wise, and getting-back-to-his-life-wise, and he was…antsy, to say the least.
“No, I couldn’t tell,” I said, tongue in cheek.
Sean looked at me and narrowed his eyes. “You making fun of me?”
I shook my head. “Nope. Although you do kind of look like a caged animal right now.”
Sean slumped back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, and the fact that he didn’t wince when he did either of those to things made me hopeful that everything was healing exactly as it should.
“What kind of animal?”
I laughed. “Does it make a difference?”
“Uh, yeah. I don’t want to be some wimpy animal.”
“A wimpy animal?”
“Yeah, you know, like a…gazelle or zebra.”
“Uh huh, so let me guess. You’d rather be a lion or a tiger?”
“Of course. Wouldn’t you?”
I shut my magazine and placed it back on the table. “Actually, no. I think I’d rather be a zebra.”
“What?” Sean looked at me as though I was out of my mind, and I might’ve been. I was sitting here discussing which African animal I’d like to be. “No one wants to be a zebra.”
“I do.”
“Okay…why?”
“Well, to start with, a group of zebras is called a dazzle, and what’s not to love about that?”
Sean’s mouth fell open, and just as he was about to comment, a door opened and a nurse stepped in.
“Mr. Bailey?”
We looked over to her, and when her eyes landed on me, they lit up.
“Oh my God. You’re…you’re Alexander Thorne.”
I smiled at the lady and nodded.
“I watch you every night. I mean, when you’re there, which you haven’t been lately because you were—Oh, I’m sorry, I’m talking too much.”
“No, you’re fine, really. I’ve taken some time off lately due to a personal matter.”
A “personal matter” she clearly knew about. Luckily for us, though, the details had been few and far between, and it seemed to have died down for now. But I had a feeling the second I set foot back into the newsroom, it would fire up the gossipmongers all over again.
“Well, just know that we’re all eager for you to be back at work. There’s no one we trust more with our news.”
Her words meant more to me than she could possibly know. The time away from my job was the most I’d taken in years. So to hear she still trusted me to deliver her news renewed my desire to get back to it as soon as I was able to.
Right now, however, Sean needed me, and I wasn’t about to turn my back on him.
“I’ll be right out here when you’re done,” I said as the nurse pushed open the door for Sean.
“What? No. I’m not making you wait out here. Plus, how are you going to know if I’m lying or not about finally being able to eat solid foods?”
Laughing, I pushed up to my feet. Of course Sean would never just say he wanted me to come with him. But if that was where he wanted me, that was where I would be.
In fact, I was starting to believe I’d follow him anywhere, and for someone who’d always considered himself an independent soul, the desire to now be with Sean as often as possible was eye-opening, to say the least.
We followed the nurse down the hall, and she quickly took Sean’s weight and then showed us to a room. After taking his vitals and a quick rundown of how he was feeling, she told us the doctor would be in soon and then left.
Once we were alone, I reached over and traced my fingers along the back of his hand. When he spread them so I could weave mine between his, I let out a sigh at once again being able to touch him.
God, when had this
kind of connection with him become so essential to my well-being? Since when did having him near give me such a sense of security, when I’d never needed it before?
The answer seemed easy enough: when he’d come on as my bodyguard. When he’d promised to keep me safe and then done so. But now that Kyle was gone, now that the danger had abated, why did I still find his presence so reassuring, so necessary for my peace of mind?
“You’re thinking awfully hard over there, anchorman.”
“Am I?”
“Mhmm. I can tell because you get all quiet and frowny.”
“Frowny? I don’t think that’s a word.”
“It’s my word. And it’s true.” Sean leaned over and ran his finger across my forehead. “See? Frowny.”
Not ready to lay all of my feelings out there just yet, I smiled and squeezed his fingers. “I’m just anxious to hear what the doctor has to say. I know how eager you are to get things back to normal, and I’m sure you’re ready for me to get out of your hair—”
“What makes you think that?” Sean brought our hands up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. My heart thumped so hard that I thought it might fly clear out of my chest. “If anything, that’s the one reason I don’t want to hear I’m getting better. I’ve gotten used to having you around. Not sure how I’m gonna survive without you.”
Wow. I knew Sean was joking, but his words were hitting a little too close to home. We both knew I’d eventually have to leave, but after everything Nichols had told me, and this ever-growing connection between us, it felt as though we were both looking for any reason for me to stay.
“You’ll be just fine without me.”
“Will I?”
My breath caught in the back of my throat, and just as I was about to try to answer, the door opened and Dr. Marx appeared.
“Ah, if it isn’t my favorite news anchor and his grumpy detective.” Dr. Marx winked at me, and just as I was about to tell him that Sean wasn’t my anything, he turned to shut the door, effectively cutting me off.
“Right, up on the table, Sean. Let’s see if you’ve been following orders.”
14
Sean
SOLID FOODS, HERE I come.
It was official: I was well and truly on the mend. All staples were removed, my incision looked good, my pain level had dissipated to a point five—if that—and I was officially allowed to resume my life.
Slowly at first, but I was back.
As Dr. Marx exited the room to send my meds and labs to wherever they needed to go, I caught Xander’s eye and grinned. “You hear that? I’m able to resume all activities, as long as there’s no pain and it’s done in moderation.”
I waggled my brows, Xander chuckled, and that sound plus the news I’d just received made me feel like I’d just won the fucking lottery.
“And what activity would you like to do first?”
Shoving my Bulls cap back on my head, I climbed off the table and walked over to Xander, who was getting to his feet.
“Hmm, well.” I took his hand in mine and pulled him close, wrapping his arm around my waist. “Nothing that requires pain, that’s for sure.”
Xander reached for the brim of my cap and tipped it up so he could look me in the eye. “And what would it require?”
I grinned and brushed my lips over his. “You, me, and a bed.”
“One-track mind, that’s what you’ve got.”
“What else do you think I’ve been working for here?”
“Oh, I don’t know, good overall health?”
“Ha. Why would I wish for that? The slower my health comes back, the longer I get to keep you.”
Xander sobered in an instant. “That’s the second time you’ve said something like that.”
“So?”
“Keeping me is not dependent on your good health.”
“No?”
“No. It’s dependent on how long you want me.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say forever, and as the two of us stood there in each other’s arms, we both knew it. I wanted to say it, he wanted to hear it—I would’ve laid bets on it. But it seemed we were both still trying to wrap our minds around what was happening here, so I let the moment slide.
There was a knock on the door that had the two of us letting go of one another, and when the nurse poked her head in to say we were good to go, I winked at Xander and then headed for the door.
“So, where are you taking me for lunch?”
Xander followed me through the halls and back out through the waiting room. Once we were outside with the sun on our faces, he reached for my hand, and my heart just about stopped.
This was the first time since I’d come on as his bodyguard that Xander had reached for my hand in public. Yeah, we’d been close in the safety of our own private bubble, but this was different.
After the awards night, reporters had tried in vain to get a comment from Xander about his “date” and been met with nothing but silence, and the only people who knew anything even remotely close to the truth were keeping their mouths shut. This seemingly innocent gesture, however, could change all of that for good.
As we reached his car, I looked down to our joined hands, and when he noticed, Xander went to let go.
I tightened my grip and shook my head. “No, don’t.”
“Are you sure? I wasn’t thinking. I just did it, but—”
“I like it, and I like even more that you didn’t think about it—you just did it.”
Xander narrowed his eyes as though he didn’t quite believe me.
“I was just thinking about how private you’ve been keeping everything since the awards night, and that if someone saw us…”
“You’re right, and Bailey— Oh my God.” Xander pulled his hand free as though it were on fire. “See? This is what happens when I don’t think.”
“Xander.” I turned to cage him in against his car, placing a hand on either side of the roof. “No one is camped outside my doctor’s office on the off chance that I’m going to walk out with you holding my hand. I promise you. As for Bailey…” I paused and let out a sigh, knowing that obstacle was going to be the biggest and most delicate when it came to the two of us.
“We need to tell him,” Xander said. “Especially if we plan to take this any further.”
“Agreed.”
Xander nodded, but the uncertainty in his eyes made me ask, “What is it?”
“I just…”
“Yeah?”
Xander took in a deep breath and then reached for the belt hooks of my shorts, drawing me in close. “Telling Bailey is going to seriously change the dynamics between the three of us. I’m not sure how he is going to take something like this. Not only will he learn you’re with a guy for the first time, but he’ll also learn you’re with me. That’s a lot.”
“I know.”
Xander worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “I just want to make sure this is really what you want, that I’m what you want, before we drop this on him.”
Fuck. I knew Xander was right, but I was still trying to work out my feelings, still trying to understand them, and call me selfish, but I wanted to be able to do that in my own time.
“I totally agree with everything you just said, I do. But…”
“But?” Xander said, and I could tell he thought something bad was coming.
“But can I just have a minute to enjoy this? To enjoy you now that I can?” When Xander just stared at me, I grimaced. “You’re totally thinking I’m a selfish asshole right now, aren’t you?”
“No. I was just wondering which way you’re going to enjoy me first.”
Damn, I had a lot of ideas, some that I’d already tried and some that I hadn’t. But I was ready and eager to learn.
First things first, however: Xander needed some new clothes, and he was avoiding his house like it was haunted—and in a way, it was. So before we tried anything, we were going to deal with this obstacle first.
“Hey, before w
e head back to my place today, I thought you might want to swing by your house and pick up some new clothes. I know you’ve got be sick of the couple of outfits you’ve been rotating.” Xander stiffened, and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. “You okay?”
“Yes, I just… I don’t really feel like going back there.”
“I know. That’s why I thought it would be good to go together. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
Xander hesitated, but when I squeezed his hands, he nodded. “Okay. You’re right. Plus, I’ll need to grab some work clothes if I’m starting up again next week.”
“Wait…what? I didn’t know you were going back so soon.”
“It’s been two weeks, and I wasn’t the one who got hurt.”
“I know, but you’ve still been through a lot. Maybe you should take an extra week just to be sure.”
“I’ll think about it, but really, I’m okay.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. On the outside, Xander put on a really great show. But on the inside, things were still…rocky. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”
Xander pushed off the car and kissed my cheek. “I promise.”
“Okay, then let’s go visit that fancy-ass high-rise of yours. I kinda miss living the high life.”
15
Xander
AS I PULLED into the parking garage of my building, I reminded myself to breathe. Not an easy feat, considering all I’d learned since the night of the awards.
I’d been in such a good mood that night, excited to spend time with Sean outside the confines of my place. I’d been curious and nervous to introduce him to my work colleagues, because around them there were no preconceived ideas about him. Around them, I’d finally gotten to see the real Sean—and wow, I liked what I’d seen.
“I can’t believe you haven’t been back here since that night.”
Neither could I. But it had been too hard to come back to an empty house full of ghosts. At every turn I would’ve seen or heard Sean. Not to mention I now had the added bonus of knowing Kyle Gates had been in there creeping around on several occasions. That was enough to make my skin crawl.