A blank look skirted across his face before he recovered, this time grinning like a cat who’d just cornered a mouse. “Of course, I did all the training. Now, let’s get her out of this chair. She’s got to be uncomfortable.”
I squeezed my hands into fists and looked away, determined to remain strong even though I had a sneaking suspicion I knew why he’d come.
As soon as Tiffani unlocked the belt, he moved in, his hand dropping down to cup my bottom as he guided me toward the bed. I flinched and tried pulling away, but his grip tightened to the point of pain.
It only hurts if you let it…
I crossed my arms over my stomach as the door closed, sealing my fate with an audible click. A sour taste lingered on my tongue, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to swallow. I forced myself to rehearse Morgan’s version of the events leading up to my accident. I was relatively confident I could write every detail just as she’d said it.
Brad slipped off his jacket and placed it on a chair before pulling a small velvet box from his pocket. I shrank back when he loomed closer, mashing my lips together to keep from whimpering.
He wasn’t here to interrogate me.
The corner of his mouth lifted as he ducked under the canopy, his thigh touching mine as he sank down onto the mattress. “Now that we’re alone, we can talk. I mean, I’ll talk, and you’ll listen. How’s that sound?”
I swallowed again and nodded, my lower lip quivering uncontrollably.
“Good girl. I wanna start by telling you a little story.” He undid the top three buttons on his dress shirt before reaching out to touch my necklace, letting his fingers graze along the tops of my breasts. My shoulders rounded at the contact, but I didn’t try to pull away again.
I just glanced toward the window, imagining I was small enough to disappear and never be found. My body quivered with dread, but I would not let Brad break me.
“Now, this was supposed to have happened when you turned eighteen, but that whole Ashlynn debacle really threw a wrench in things.”
I kept my face blank and continued staring through the glass. It wasn’t real. As long as I didn’t look at him, I was safe.
Brad pushed the skirt of my dress up, his fingers trailing lightly across my bare thigh as he whispered, “I didn’t mind waiting, though. It gave you a chance to get all that rebellion out and me a chance to make myself a little more indispensable to the church. I sold off two of my companies—the deals were finalized this morning. Do you know what that means?”
My breaths quickened, but I held perfectly still, refusing to acknowledge any part of it. With a muttered curse, Brad jerked my face up toward his, the muscle in his jaw twitching.
“You’re looking at a billionaire, sweetheart,” he growled, digging his fingers into my flesh. “And with that kind of money, I can suddenly get anything I want.”
Me.
He wanted me.
It only hurts if you let it…
My stomach was in upheaval, the contents caught in a roiling sea of nausea. There must have been something in my expression because he had a small trashcan in front of me within seconds.
I retched until there was nothing but saliva. Uncontrollable tremors wracked my body, making my teeth chatter together noisily. Stupidly, I’d believed with Tristan reaping the benefits of my injury, he’d forget his talk of sacrifice.
Morgan had been wrong.
He wasn’t going to kill me—that would have been too easy. No, my punishment was being auctioned off to the highest bidder. A man who was thirty years older than me and now the church’s largest donor.
Brad let the trashcan fall to the tile with a dull thud before pulling my left hand into his, forcing the ring onto my finger. His lip curled in disgust. “I think that was a bit of an overreaction. Do you know how many women would kill to be in your position right now?”
The diamond caught the light from the windows, scattering a multitude of sparkles throughout the room. It would have been magical had it been coming from anywhere but the brilliant cage around my finger.
Just another reminder, my life would always belong to someone else.
His eyes searched mine once more before he leaned closer. I turned my face away at the last second, and his lips connected with the flesh beside my ear. I couldn’t stomach the thought of that man’s mouth ever touching mine.
“‘And by the law, almost all things are purged with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no remission,’” he whispered, walking his fingers up my thigh.
If I closed my eyes, I was back in my dark bedroom, feeling the heat of his breath against the back of my neck as he slowly recited the very verse I’d come to hate as an adult.
He was practically panting as he reached the junction between my thighs. “You’ve always been mine, sweetheart. And I think I’m going to enjoy every second of breaking you.”
There was no misinterpreting the words, leaving me to wonder how much of my blood it was going to take to satisfy his lust.
It only hurts if you let it…
I thought back to Morgan’s confession a week ago, seeing it in an entirely new light. Upon discovering she’d been promised to a man twenty-five years her senior, Morgan admitted she’d reacted as any sixteen-year-old would have and cried for an entire night. Then, she’d decided to lose her virginity on her own terms—with the college-aged boy who lived next door. To her, it wasn’t an act of defiance, as much as a way of taking back her power.
At the time, I’d believed our situations were nothing alike. Killian wasn’t some neighbor I’d secretly been in love with for years, and I hadn’t been sold to the man who’d made my childhood a living hell.
Things were different now, and I had to make a decision—give up and follow a path that would only lead to more misery, or venture out into the unknown, without a safety net to break my fall. Killian was an uncertainty, but one I’d gradually found myself looking forward to. Brad, however, was a sadist.
Both were chaos, but if it was between giving myself to a stranger or living out my days as Brad’s abused hostage, I’d choose Killian.
Now, I just needed to figure out how.
“So, I said to Georgia, ‘No, you cannot join us for cards.’ She seemed pretty upset, but she knew that Margaret was sweet on Arthur.” The older woman stuffed a spoon full of food into her mouth before starting up again.
When Helen had initially asked to sit with me at lunch, I’d accepted, grateful for the company. I’d imagined we’d enjoy a quiet meal before retiring to our rooms for the requisite afternoon nap.
It was a decision I’d come to regret.
Mashed potatoes clung to the side of her mouth, but she carried on as if it didn’t bother her. “You remember Arthur, don’t you? I pointed him out earlier. Such a looker. So, as I was saying, there we were…”
For someone who’d only been at True North for a week, Helen had wasted no time in making enemies. There was Georgia, the boyfriend stealer, Ida, the card shark, and Sue, the sister she’d never seen eye to eye with. I could have filled the pages of my notebook with the names of people who’d wronged her.
A pat on the hand brought me back to the conversation. “You are such a good listener. Youths today are just the worst. Noses stuck to glass screens—never interacting with anyone around them. They’ve become obsessed with capturing the perfect moment that they end up missing it. My granddaughter, April, doesn’t even know how to have an actual conversation. You ask her a question, and she just grunts in response. It’s like visiting with a damn caveman.”
I raised a brow, but Helen was already off to the next topic. “There’s no hope for the future. It’s just going to be a bunch of precious snowflakes, glued to their buzzing boxes while the world goes to hell. You know what we need? More churches. The youths need to be involved in planting churches all over. That’s how you fix the world—”
“Hello ladies, is this seat taken?”
My mouth curved into a relieved smile a
s I lifted my eyes to Killian’s, secretly pleased when his icy blue stare warmed as it moved across my face.
He was wearing a gray t-shirt with two bats crossed into an x. A baseball was superimposed over them, along with the logo for the Houston Hurricanes.
I only knew about the baseball team because it had been Ashlynn’s dream to see a sporting event when she turned eighteen. She hadn’t attended a game, but thanks to Matt, she’d come home with a small Hurricanes towel hidden among her belongings.
After her death, I’d smuggled it into my room to join the other secret treasures beneath my bed. Everything else was either sold off or burned, making it the only piece of her I had left.
“Oh, my—h-hello,” Helen stammered, before lifting her hand. “It’s you!”
Her reaction was… unexpected, to say the least.
Given her dislike of almost everything, I’d been positive she was going to find fault with him.
His expression dimmed somewhat as he extended a hand. “Killian. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
She snatched it with both of hers like it was the last drumstick at a cookout, tilting her head toward the empty chair between us. “Helen. Please, sit down.”
He lowered himself onto the chair before turning to me with a smirk. “Hi, I’m Killian. I don’t believe I ever got your name.”
I slipped my hand into his, struck by the same weird, floaty feeling I got when I rode an elevator. My body might have been sitting perfectly still, but my stomach was in free fall.
“Ari,” I breathed, clinging to him like a lifeline. His palms were rough and callused against mine. I considered what he did for a living to have earned them. Was it physical labor, the kind that left him sweaty at the end of every day? My cheeks warmed as I imagined how he’d look without a shirt on.
He cocked his head, and I inhaled sharply, before realizing it wasn’t because he’d read my mind.
I’d whispered my name.
Just as I was beginning to think it was lost to me forever, my voice had returned.
“Ari,” Killian repeated softly, his voice filled with reverence. There was something right in hearing my name on his lips, like ending a prayer with amen.
“I think she might be deaf and dumb. I’ve been sitting here doing most of the talking, and she hasn’t had the decency to chime in even once,” Helen interjected with a shake of her head.
My nose crinkled at her brittle assessment of my character. Perhaps I was a little quieter than most, but it should have been apparent to everyone at the table I was neither deaf nor dumb.
“So, Killian,” she simpered, dismissing me from the conversation. “That’s a unique name. What does it mean?”
I lowered my head, jolting when his fingertips brushed over my knuckles. When I lifted my eyes, he gave me an encouraging nod and mouthed, chin up, before reaching for his fork.
My skin blazed from the heat of his touch. I folded my hands in my lap, confident I was never going to recover from the loss.
“It means church,” he answered, keeping his gaze on me like the answer was solely mine. Helen waited for him to elaborate further before moving on to the drama surrounding True North.
Church.
My heart hammered against my ribs, sending more than just blood rushing through my veins as I studied his face. The nest of birds residing in my lower belly stirred, awakening something fierce within me. It was accompanied by the oddest feeling that I knew him from somewhere.
“What do you think?” he asked, inclining his head toward me. I had no way of answering, as I’d been quite busy surveying his gorgeous mouth. Every one of his teeth was a healthy shade of white and perfectly aligned with the next. I wondered whether it was the byproduct of good genes or just fantastic dentistry.
Killian’s lips twitched as he fought a smile, and I realized he was still waiting on a response. I shrugged helplessly, having spent a good chunk of the conversation staring at him. His eyes sparked with something that indicated I hadn’t necessarily been discreet in my perusal.
“Young lady!” Helen snapped her fingers. “What do you think about the aquatic therapy here? I told Killian here it wasn’t as good as the center over in Oak Lake. See, that’s how you get her attention—just snap.”
I gaped at the woman, my face flooding with heat. I was no stranger to condescending people and being ignored, but it didn’t mean I was unfeeling. My shoulders sagged and bowed my head, trying to hide my mortification.
It only hurts if you let it…
Killian made a low sound in the back of his throat and pushed back from the table, the fork clanging as it connected with the edge of his plate. Helen continued rattling off the advantages of Oak Lake’s facility over True North’s, seemingly unaware anything was amiss.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just remembered I have somewhere to be.” The humor was gone from his voice, and the hairs on my arms lifted at the sudden chill in the air.
He was leaving.
I rubbed my damp palms against my skirt and forced myself to pick up my fork. Once the lump in my throat settled, I stabbed a roasted carrot and brought it to my lips with a huff.
Helen launched into yet another complaint, but I busied myself with the task of chewing and swallowing, tuning her out. It was best not to dwell on what Killian must have thought of me until I was safely back in my room.
“You coming, girl?”
I jerked my head toward Killian, freezing at the sight of his squared shoulders and furrowed brow. The last traces of warmth fell away as he glared down at me, leaving glaciers where his eyes had once been.
“But I’m not finished yet,” Helen protested with a sniff. “Awfully rude and disrespectful to just leave someone in the middle of a meal.”
He glanced down at me, his icy expression thawing slightly. “What do you say?”
I lowered my fork to the plate, completely ready to leave with Killian until I considered the implications of it. Only two weeks in and I’d just come dangerously close to slipping up. Morgan might have bought me some time, but Tristan had little birds lurking everywhere.
If he got word that I’d gone off alone with a man, I’d be back behind those walls before they opened the cafeteria for dinner. I fidgeted with the pendant around my neck and slowly shook my head before slouching back against the wheelchair with a frustrated sigh.
It was too risky for us to be seen together.
What could I say? Hi Killian, I’d love to leave with you, but I’m a grown woman who is still terrified of her father. Who’s my father, you ask? Oh, just Tristan James, the pastor on television every other day of the week. There’s also a strong possibility he killed my sister, but don’t worry, you’re probably safe.
The truth was sad, and would no doubt scare the man off permanently. Or worse, cause him to look down on me in pity.
The sullen look returned to his face, and he stood silent, absently gnawing on his bottom lip. I squirmed under the weight of his unhappy stare before forcing my mouth into a smile.
My dress felt itchy against my skin, but I didn’t dare scratch. Instead, I returned my attention to the plate in front of me, my fingernails leaving crescent-shaped indentations in my palms.
“You’re staying?” Killian tilted his head back toward Helen. “Here?”
I doubted there was an ounce of conviction in my nod, but it didn’t matter. Killian was already turning away, the rubber tip of his crutches swiping angrily against the floor as he stormed out. I kept my head down and waited a full minute before pushing back from the table. Tiffani saw and began making her way over to me, and I released a harsh breath, ready for the day to be over already.
Helen tapped her fork against the side of her plate until I reluctantly inclined my head in her direction. “You like him,” she said in a singsong voice, giving me a conspiratorial wink.
My eyes went round. I vigorously shook my head, praying no one else in the crowded cafeteria had heard the accusation.
Her
smile faded. “Well, do you think about him when he’s not here?”
I nodded with a half shrug. So, I thought about Killian. It didn’t mean anything.
“And when you think about him, do you feel that flutter in your chest?” She took my heated face as confirmation and smirked. “Then, you like him. Trust me, I’ve been married four times. I know these things.”
I rubbed at the back of my neck and looked away, more uncomfortable now than I’d been only moments before. Killian was just the lesser of two evils. Maybe I was attracted to him on a physical level, but it had only been two weeks. Way too soon to form any sort of attachment.
Helen’s eyes bored into my skull as she idly drummed her fingers on the table. “You know, I’m somewhat inclined to help you get his attention. It’s fairly obvious you’re ignorant in the ways of men and someone like Killian expects to be wowed.”
She didn’t strike me as the type to help someone out of the sheer goodness of her heart. There was something in it for her, I just didn’t know what that was yet.
Before I could dismiss her ludicrous offer completely, I considered the diamond ring hidden back in my room, a bitter reminder of what was at stake if I failed.
Chapter Ten
Killian
“Branch Rickey once said of me that I was a man with an infinite capacity for immediately making a bad thing worse.”
-Leo Durocher, Nice Guys Finish Last
“Killian Reed, as I live and breathe,” Bailey announced in a falsetto from the doorway to the cafeteria. “Nurses said I might find you here. I let you out of my sight for what—three weeks—and this is what you’ve become? Eating dinner at five-thirty on a Friday night like some commoner?”
I returned the water pitcher to the counter and gave him the finger. “Why, Mr. Bailey, I didn’t have you down on the schedule for today. If you’d told me you were planning a visit, I would have asked the hookers to join us for dinner.”
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