Light Chasers (The World of Lasniniar Book 0)
Page 28
— Chapter Fourteen —
Picking up the Pieces
It was only when the sun began to rise that the elves felt it was safe enough to lower the shield. An exhausted looking Iadrawyn complied, allowing them to trickle into the village and assess the carnage. Valanandir barely noticed when she collapsed on the ground beside him. He sat, hugging his knees to his chest and shivering. His eyes were gritty and stinging from crying. Over and over, he saw his best friend being bitten by the drakhal as he watched, helpless.
How had Numril become separated from the rest of the group? He must have stayed behind to round up the children he had rescued. Valanandir shouldn’t have allowed him to be left behind. Numril was never one for fighting. If Valanandir had stayed by his side, perhaps things would be different. Then again, Iadrawyn might have been killed without him there to watch over her as she held the shield. Valanandir didn’t know which was worse. He supposed he would never know unless he somehow managed to fail her as well.
That drakhal… He had meant for Valanandir to suffer and watch. Valanandir had seen it in the creature’s dark eyes. Since he had been denied the power of the Quenya, the drakhal had made it personal. Valanandir saw the light fade from Numril’s eyes again and again.
He should have planned better. They had known the drakhalu were coming. He was the strategist, and his lack of planning had killed his best friend. They had even taken his body, denying him the chance to put Numril to rest.
“Don’t even think it.” Iadrawyn’s tearful voice interrupted the vicious circle of his thoughts. “You did the best you could. We all did. If everyone had listened to our warnings, perhaps things might have been different.”
Her words were punctuated by the occasional wail as another elf discovered the body of a loved one.
“I should have stayed with him,” Valanandir said. “He was no warrior.”
“And I should have discovered how to create a shield sooner,” Iadrawyn snapped. “How many lives would that have saved? Probably all of them. Do you think that doesn’t wound me to the quick? It’s only a matter of time before the others think of this as well and look to lay blame for their losses. And they will be right.”
Valanandir pulled himself out of his self-pity, his senses dulled by anguish. He looked at Iadrawyn. Her face was drawn and pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her work to discover, create, and hold the shield had taken its toll. Her eyes were filled with pain.
“You did the best you could,” Valanandir said, laying a hand on her arm. “People will have to understand that.”
“But it wasn’t enough. I fear people will not understand. They have put us on a pedestal. I can do things with the Quenya no one else can. They think we can always use it to keep us from harm. And I am certain there is a way we can better use it to protect us, but I do not know how. I’m afraid they will turn against me. I don’t think I could take being an outcast again.” Iadrawyn’s voice faded to a tear-filled whisper.
Valanandir put his arm around her. It was the first time he had dared to do so. “No one will turn against you. I won’t let them.” His bold words provoked a choked laugh from her, as he had intended. She settled under his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. The pleasure of her closeness bolstered him against his sorrow.
“Numril sacrificed himself to save those children,” she said in a soft voice. “It was his choice, and it was a noble one. I also sorrow for his loss, but do not belittle his choice by berating yourself. He wouldn’t want that.”
“I know.” Valanandir sighed. “It’s still hard to bear.”
“We must learn to bear our troubles together. We also have good friends like Lodariel and Daroandir to help us. Perhaps we should join them…”
“In a little while.” Valanandir didn’t want to move.
“All right.”
They sat together and watched the sun rise in the sky.