“Ireland,” he says instantly.
“Do you envision yourself going back there? To live I mean?” This answer is what I need to find out, I won’t ever leave London. It’s where my family is now, and I want it to stay that way, I’ve finally found somewhere I belong.
“Yes, I do see myself going back. If I have children, I want them to grow up as I did. Do you picture yourself anywhere but here?” There’s caution in his voice, I think we both know that this conversation means a lot, we’ll finally get the answers we both want, will we work?
“No, I’ve found my place and I’m happy. Richie, I’m the happiest I’ve been since my mum was alive,” I tell him honestly, I’m now wondering where this leaves us, one of us wants to stay put and the other wants to move across the pond.
“Next question?” he asks acting as though everything is normal.
I sigh, my heart not really in it any longer. It’s as though we’re destined to fail. But I do as he asks. “Your mum or your dad?”
Again, no hesitation. “My dad.”
I’m shocked, most people would say their mums.
“I admire my dad. He’s a man I aspire to be. He’s devoted to my mam, to our family and he worked hard to ensure that we had anything that we wanted. I talk to him at least twice a week, I’d be lost without him.” He talks about his dad as many talk about their idols, he truly does aspire to be like him.
“I love that you have that connection with him. He must be a great man.”
“He is. Malachy Murphy is the best there is. He’s friends with everyone and enemies with no one.” I laugh. “It’s true, my dad will help anyone and everyone.”
He continues to drive, and I look out the window, we’re on the M42 motorway but I’m clueless as to where we’re going. I just sit back and relax. “What was your mam like?”
That shocks me, no one has asked about my mum. It’s still a sore subject even to this day. “She was a hairdresser,” I tell him, something that I’ve never told Pen. “She used to do my hair all the time, I use to love it. She’d come home from work and tell me all about her day. I don’t remember an awful lot about her, just bits and pieces.”
Tears gather in my eyes, but they don’t fall. Every year that passes the less I can remember, sometimes I’m not sure if it’s a memory or a dream I have of her. I dream so much of her; those dreams consist of what we would be doing if she were still alive. Those dreams have woven themselves into my brain and I can’t for the life of me figure out what memories are real and what aren’t.
“Tell me your favourite memory of her.” His hand rests on my thigh. “Tell me, love.”
“The things I remember, we were always having fun. I don’t remember anything other than us having fun, us laughing and joking.”
His thumb caresses my thigh. “Love, that’s a good thing. You remember the best times not the worst. When you think of your mam, all you remember is her smiling.”
He’s right, it’s a good thing. Remembering my mum being happy makes me happy, whenever I think back and remember her it’s always going to bring a smile to my face.
“My favourite memory is Christmas.” I giggle. “This was before she married my stepdad. Mum forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer, so we ended up having lasagne for dinner. It was the best lasagne I ever had, it was also the best Christmas that I had.” My mum was kind of forgetful. I don’t blame her, though. She had a lot to do between working full time and looking after me. No wonder some things slipped through her mind.
“She sounds like someone I would have liked,” he says quietly giving my thigh a squeeze.
“Yeah,” I reply softly, my mum loved everyone, she only saw the good in people. Like my stepdad, she thought he was a good man, maybe he was, it’s not a side I ever saw to him. But now? Now he’s a monster who haunts my nightmares.
Richie continues to drive, and I close my eyes, I may as well have a nap for a bit. I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be driving for.
I’m roused awake by the lightest of kisses against my lips. Opening my eyes, I’m confronted by a smiling Richie looking at me. “Wakey wakey, sleepyhead. We’re here.”
Here? I sit up and look around. We’re outside a hotel. I look at him in surprise. “You brought me to a hotel?”
“Yeah, love. I brought you to Liverpool for the weekend. Time for you to unwind before you begin college and work.”
I lean over and give him a quick hard kiss. “This is amazing, thank you.” I’m so giddy, I can’t believe how sweet and thoughtful he is. “I’ve never been to Liverpool before.”
“Me either, come on let’s get checked in.” This time it’s him who leans over and kisses me.
Chapter 16
Two Weeks Later
Making my way through the main room of this hotel I walk into the foyer wanting to get away from all the people. Today’s the day of Tim and Gary’s wedding reception, they’ve been married for ages. They’ve finally decided to celebrate their nuptials with everyone, and for that reason alone I’m dressed to the nines and wearing a genuine smile. I’m so happy for them, I’ve managed to catch a glimpse of them and they look so in love, they look smitten. I’m glad that this will be the last event that I’ll be attending, I think it’s fitting that it’s their event, they’ve became such great friends of mine.
“James, Stef,” I call out as I see the outline of a very pregnant Stef.
“Natalie,” James says snootily. He always acts posh when we meet, he thinks it’s funny. “How are you?”
“Ooh, look at you all prim and proper!” I return just as snootily, Stef has said that he does like me and that he’s protective of me. Stef turns, and I’m stunned by how gorgeous she looks, she looks beautiful, pregnancy really suits her. “Stef, you look amazing as per usual.”
She’s giving me a good look over, I’ve dyed my dark brown hair black, most haven’t noticed because it’s not a drastic change, it’s a little darker than usual. My hair is curled today, it took me bloody ages, but it looks good, I wanted to look good for Tim and Gary’s reception.
“Nat, you look really beautiful,” Stef tells me, and I can’t help but smile brightly at her compliment. “You seem happy. How did things go with Richie?”
Only Pen knew that Richie and I had met up and decided to give things a try. I wanted to get used to the changes that were happening, I wanted Richie and I to be us first and get used to each other before anyone else knew and I’m glad that I’ve done it that way because I’m one hundred percent certain that I’m in love with Richie and I suspect that he loves me too. I haven’t confessed my love yet and he’s not said anything about his. I don’t want to say anything in case I’m wrong. I don’t want to be rejected.
James places his arm around Stef’s back, he's listening intently to our conversation. “We're meeting up later in the week and we'll go from there,” I fib, and of course she doesn’t believe me, she glares at me and I sigh. “Fine, you nosy cow, we've been texting a lot.” Again, I fib but I don’t want her to be upset that Richie and I have been dating and I’ve not told her. When the timing’s better I’ll tell her the truth, and I’m sure that she’ll understand but she’s going to be hurt.
“Who are you here with?” Stef asks looking around.
I’m still fuming about this, Pen told me I would be coming here alone, well that was until ten minutes before I left to come here. She told me that she had a client and he was asking for me. Pen’s on my shit list.
“Donovan, he's a new client and I'm the lucky one to pop his cherry. He’s a friend of Gary’s and I was personally asked for,” I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes and of course the slimy git is on his way over to me. “Oh God, here he comes.” I groan.
“Natalie, darling. I've been looking all over for you.” He’s all over me like a rash, when he sucks on my earlobe and I throw up a little in my mouth. “Oh, you've found a friend,” he says dismissively, at least he’s stopped sucking me. Richie’s going to be fuming
when I tell him. I’m going to kill Penelope.
Looking over at Stef, an idea comes to me and I just have to do it, Donovan’s going to be weirded out by what I’m about to do. “Donovan, meet Stefanie. My fiancée,” It’s hard to miss his sharp intake of breath at my words. I run my finger over his shirt buttons. “Stefanie and I love to share,” I say seductively as I saunter over to Stefanie, glad that I’m away from him.
“But she's pregnant.” His eyes widen as I rub Stef’s bump. I really want to laugh at the look on his face.
“Yeah, we're due in five weeks.” I beam, and Stef fidgets like she needs to wee—this is the funniest thing ever.
He visibly gulps. “Oh eh. Congrats. I'm sorry, darling, but I've just realised that I’m meant to be on a conference call in thirty minutes.” He turns and walks as fast as he can out of the building.
As soon as he leaves Stef and I burst out laughing. “Oh God, I can't breathe.” I gasp trying to catch my breath. “Shit, Pen’s going to kill me.” I close my eyes as I think of that arsehole calling her.
“I have to use the loo,” Stef tells me, and I laugh again, this is way too funny. I follow her to the toilet and look on in amusement as she rushes into the stall.
“Stef, are we doing the right thing? I mean they've hurt us before? What says they’re not going to do it again?” I open myself up, letting my emotions show, I’m raw. I still don’t trust Richie, even though I love him. “Stef?” I ask as she doesn’t answer.
She washes her hands and then answers me. “I’m not sure how to answer that Nat. Yes, they’ve hurt us, but sometimes we need to give them a second chance. Some may call us stupid and call us fools but if we never tried, we’d always regret it. Saying that, you also need to understand that enough is enough.”
“I still think giving him another chance is foolish, that it makes me vulnerable and I hate it, Stef. I hate that.” I don’t want to fool her, I’ve not told her that we’re together and that even after a month, those doubts are still there.
“You need to follow your heart. What is it telling you?”
I lean against the sink and cross my arms. “It tells me that I have really strong feelings for him and I want him. How stupid is that? I mean we had sex once. How does that even happen?” We’ve still not had sex, I’m scared that as soon as we do, he’s going to leave.
She gives me a small smile. “Babe, you can fall in love with just a look. Think about it, think hard and envision what you want. Try. Maybe you’ll get hurt; maybe you’ll find the love of your life. Or maybe you’ll regret trying.” She pauses, maybe waiting for me to let what she said sink in. “Come on, before James sends out a search party.”
My heart races as arms go around my waist, I swallow loudly when he places light kisses beneath my ear. “Love come on to bed,” he says, his voice gravelly, and I close my eyes as lust shoots through my body. “Love, leave the dishes, they’ll be there in the morning,”
I smile. “I’m almost finished,” I reply huskily as his hands roam over my stomach.
“Leave them,” he says, his voice thick with lust as his hands move up towards my breasts, I’m still in the dress I wore to Tim and Gary’s reception. Richie met me at the hotel and we stopped off to get some food on the way home. I’m such a pig, I ate a lovely dinner at the reception and still ate when I got in.
“Richie.” I say as his hands knead my breasts. “I’ve only a few things left to wash. If I wash them now then I don’t need to do it in the morning.”
His mouth goes to my ear, and goose bumps shoot through my body as he whispers, “Fine, have it your way.”
Anticipation courses through me as he rains kisses on my neck. It’s been a month and we’ve only kissed. Tonight he’s unable to keep his hands or mouth off me. I’m not complaining, it’s fucking amazing, and I really don’t want him to stop. I continue to wash the rest of the dishes as he ups his seduction. He sucks as he kisses. I lean my head back, so he can get better access to my neck. I finish the dishes and push my arse against him, loving how hard he is.
“Finished?” he asks cheekily, and I nod. “Good, now let me get you out of this dress, it’s in the way of what I want.” His fingers go to my zip, he slowly begins to lower it, I want to kick him to hurry the hell up. Once he finally stops the torture, the material pools at my feet. He turns me around so I’m facing him and lets out a low whistle. “You look amazing.” His voice is just above a whisper.
I’m exposed, vulnerable. I’m standing in my black heels, black lacy bra and matching thong. “Richie…” I gasp as his hands grip my waist and pull me towards him.
His mouth is on mine, his lips are soft against mine as he gently kisses me. I press up further against him, my body flush against his, my hands roaming his body wanting to be closer to him. This kiss goes from gentle to hard, heated, and demanding. His hand tangles up in my hair and applies pressure against my head, I gasp, and he takes advantage of my open mouth and sweeps his tongue inside. I’m lost to him, to the man I love.
My back hits the counter as Richie backs me up, his hands on my waist tighten as he lifts me up and my legs automatically circle his waist. He walks us to the bedroom and I smile, I thought when this time would come, I’d be nervous but I’m not. I’m actually really excited and I can’t wait for us to be together again. My lips find his and I kiss him feverishly, wanting him so much. My hands are on his face holding him to me, his hands tighten around me, it’s sore but in a good way as he kisses me back.
He lays me down on the bed and looms over me, with that beautifully handsome smile on his face as he looks down at me. “God, Nat, you’re breath-taking.”
Those words wipe away everything. I’m not dirty or disgusting. I’m not a whore. I’m beautiful. “Richie, please,” I beg, but he’s just staring at me.
“I know what you want baby.” His accent is thick, and I love when it gets like that, it means I’m affecting him. He pulls off his T-shirt, and I can’t help but stare at his perfectly sculpted torso. My eyes fall to his one and only tattoo, it’s on his neck. I’ve asked about it, but he just changes the subject. It’s really weird that he doesn’t have any other tatts except for the one on his neck and even that is weird as I can’t properly make it out, but it looks as though there’s teeth marks and steam with a word that I can’t read properly.
He pulls off his jeans and my eyes widen as his dick is exposed. Damn he’s not wearing any boxers. He stands there in front of me completely naked, his eyes full of raw lust. He wastes no time in pulling my knickers from me. “Nat, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” He takes off my bra and his mouth closes around my nipple.
My body arches back as he uses his teeth. “Richie, please,” I plead yet again, I want him now. No more waiting, I think we’ve waited long enough.
He smiles as he positions himself over me. “You sure?” he asks, and I love him even more for asking that, I nod my consent and that smile widens, his green eyes full of lust and happiness as he enters me.
I gasp at the fullness of him inside of me, my legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer to me. My heels are still on and it’s weird but I feel sexy wearing them. My fingers dig into his back as he moves, thrusting inside of me. He picks up the pace as I moan, God, this is so bloody good. My pleasure builds as he thrusts into me harder, my nails digging into his back, he’s going to have marks by the time we’re finished.
“Fuck, Nat, I love you.” He says he’s lost in this just as I am.
His words are like a detonator for me, and I explode. “Oh Richie, I love you too,” I cry out as I come.
He leans down and kisses me hard, as he moves, each thrust more painful than the last, but I don’t care, this is so fucking good, I can’t stop the moan that escapes my lips. “Nat.” My name a groan as he too comes.
We’re silent, just holding onto one another, this is so right. The two of us, it’s what was meant to be. He pulls out of me, and I miss him, I miss the connection we just h
ad. He walks into the en-suite bathroom, and the shower goes on. I groan and get up out of the bed. I may as well shower now, too. When I come out, I’ll change the sheets.
Twenty minutes later, I emerge and see that Richie’s already changed the bedding, he’s lying on top of the duvet while playing on his phone. I smile and climb in beside him. This is what I want, this normalness that we’re doing, what all couples do. Lie beside each other and just be comfortable without any words. To me, that’s the ultimate relationship.
“So, we love each other huh?” The humour in his voice is so contagious.
I smile, glad that he told me that he loved me first. I was afraid of rejection if I had said it first. “Seems like it.”
He puts his phone down on the bedside table and turns to look at me. “I really do love you, Natalie.”
I lean my head against his shoulder. “I love you too.” This is the happiest that I’ve ever been, I never thought someone like me could be this happy. The shit that I’ve done, I never thought anyone would overlook it and see me for who I really am, and not the prostitute that I was. “Richie?” I ask into the quietness.
“Yeah baby.” He sounds sleepy.
“What’s your tattoo mean?” I hope that he answers me this time instead of brushing it off.
“I got it done the day I left you,” he says softly, and my body goes rigid. “You gave me a hickey, left teeth marks against my neck.”
My cheeks flame, I didn’t realise that I was so into it that night.
“As I said before, I knew I had made a mistake, I got the tattoo artist to trace your teeth marks, he added steam for the coffee shop we were in, and I had the word regret added because it’s the biggest regret I have. It was my way of remembering you.”
I’m shocked. I never thought that it would be about that. “Richie, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” He smiles at my words, his eyes look heavy, he’s been awake for over twenty hours now—he was working today. “Night, darling, see you in the morning.”
The Scars Of Life (The Working Girls Book 4) Page 14