by Alison Mello
Kenzie turns into my arms and sobs into my chest for this amazing woman she cared so deeply for, and I feel horrible that in this moment all I can do is rub her back and hold her close. I wish I could erase her pain. I slowly rock her toward the chair behind me, because I know the doctors will be in any minute. They have documents they need to take care of, and they can only give her so much time with her grandmother.
I feel a set of eyes on us and when I look up, it’s to see my father standing in the doorway with a clipboard in his hand. He’s giving them as much space as he can, but still writing what he needs to in her file. He gives them another minute, and then he comes in to pay his respects to Kenzie and her family. “If there’s anything my wife or I can do, please do not hesitate to ask,” he tells Kenzie, as well as her aunt and uncle. He asks them if they would like more time.
Kenzie says, “I just want to say goodbye one last time.” As I hold her, she takes the few short steps to the bed and says, “I love you so much, Nana. Thank you for all you have done for me. I will never forget you.” She kisses her on the head and slowly walks away, giving her aunt the space to do the same. Once they have both said their final goodbyes, we tell him we’re all set and we leave the room. Kenderly signs a few things on the way out, and invites us to her house for coffee and to start working on all the arrangements.
When we arrive, both women are moving around the kitchen like a well-trained team. Neither will allow Jasper or I to help. They’re making coffee and pulling muffins and breakfast Danish from the cupboards to place on the table. Kenzie is grabbing coffee cups, sugar, and creamer while Kenderly grabs the coffee pot, and though they are both moving with efficiency, we can see they are hurting.
Aunt Kenderly and Kenzie take a seat next to one another, with me and Uncle Jasper on either side of them at her aunt’s kitchen table. It’s about five o’clock in the morning, and these two amazing women are making a list of things they need to do for the service. They are running on autopilot, but they are focused and both look determined.
A few hours later, I can see that Kenderly and Kenzie are completely drained. Her aunt already contacted the funeral parlor. We discovered that Nana had already set up an account with them, and had used money from Kenzie’s grandfather’s life insurance to put toward her burial costs. It almost saddens me that her grandmother thought that far ahead, but I guess when you’ve buried your husband, daughter, and son-in-law, it’s hard not to worry about the future. All they have to do is go down and pick out a casket and headstone. We’ve been sitting here working on her obituary in between phone calls. Word of her passing has already gotten out, and people from all around the area have been calling to see if the family needs anything.
I notice Kenzie is in a daze as her aunt reads the obituary one last time. “Can I get you anything, sweet pea?” I ask her, feeling a bit helpless.
Her brows furrow, and she shakes her head. “No, I’m just tired,” she says, taking a deep breath and rocking her upper body back and forth.
She can only seem to focus for short periods of time. As her focus shifts, she goes from looking at her aunt and listening, to staring right past her and thinking about god knows what.
“Well that’s done, thank the Lord.” Her aunt pulls the final version of the obituary from the notebook to hand over to the funeral parlor. I want to get Kenzie home but we need to clean up first, because Kenderly doesn’t need to be left with a mess. Taking the empty coffee pot over to the sink, I wash it and then put it back on the brewer, while Jasper helps put the leftover food away. Neither of our women ate much more than a few bites of a muffin, but at this point I guess it’s better than nothing.
When everything is clean, I kneel down in front of Kenzie. “Why don’t we go home and you can rest a bit?” I ask her, hoping she’ll listen, and she does.
She nods in agreement. “Do you need anything else from me?” Kenzie asks her aunt.
“No I’m fine, you go and get some rest and I’ll let you know when the final arrangements are made.”
She thanks her aunt, and we say our goodbyes before heading home so I can hopefully get her to sleep.
When we pull up to the house, Kenzie is walking like she’s about to collapse. Wrapping my arm around her in support, I get her into the house and I take her straight to the bedroom. She collapses onto the bed, looking totally broken and it’s killing me. I kneel before her, peeling off her shoes and putting them into the closet. When I return, she’s changing into a t-shirt of mine that is far too big for her. I smile slightly, hoping it will provide her some comfort as she sleeps. She slips into bed as I peel off my shoes, and climb in next to her. Pulling her close, I spoon her from behind, rubbing her head as tries to relax. A few small hiccups escape her as she tries to calm herself from all of her shed tears, and she slowly drifts off to sleep.
When I’m sure she’s sound asleep, I slip out of bed and head into the kitchen to see what she has that I can make for meals. She isn’t going to want to cook, but I need to make sure she keeps her strength up so she can get through the next few days. We’re waiting on the final service dates, but it looks like we will be having a wake on Thursday and the funeral on Friday.
I’m digging through the freezer when I find ground beef and chicken, so I decide to make some chili and some chicken and rice soup. I know it’s going to be hard to get her to eat, but I’m hoping she’ll eat small cups of soup or chili. I don’t want to go too overboard, because if I know my mama, she’ll be by with food later as well.
A short time later, I have the chili simmering on the stove, and I’m working on the soup when I hear Kenzie make her way into the kitchen. She comes up behind me, pressing her face to my back. “How was your nap?” I ask her, but she says nothing. Grabbing the towel, I dry my hands and turn around to squeeze her tight. “Are you hungry?” She shakes her head. “Sweet pea, you need to eat.”
“I know. I will in a little bit,” she presses her head to my chest. “Is that chili I smell?” she asks.
“It is, and I’m working on chicken and rice soup.”
“Smells good.” She nuzzles me.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to make too much because you know my mama.”
She chuckles. “Yeah, she’ll be by shortly with food for an army.”
“That, or she’ll demand we go to their house for dinner.” I lift her chin so she’s looking at me.
“Either way is fine, just please keep me busy,” she pleads.
“I’ll do my best. I love you, Kenzie, and I promise I will help you through this. I have to go into work tomorrow for a brief meeting with my commander, but I have plenty of leave time and I don’t have a new round of troops in until next week, so I’m all yours.”
She gives me another smile, then leans up on her toes to press her lips to mine. “Thank you so much, Remy. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I repeat, making her smile a bit more.
Chapter 29
Kenzie
In the midst of all the sadness we’ve had in our lives with Nana being ill and then her passing and the burial service, we finally have something great to celebrate. The week Nana passed away, Remy had to go into work for a meeting, and that was when he found out he is getting his well-deserved promotion. Today is the ceremony. I’ve never been to anything like this before, and from what I’m told, it’s not that long, but it’s nice to witness.
Since we are not married yet, I do not have a spouse’s ID to get on base, so I’m riding in with his parents. That way, the three of us can check in at the visitors’ center at once, and get what we need to go to the ceremony. He doesn’t know it yet, and he will probably want to kill his mama later, but she’s planned a rather large party for this evening. Both our families and some friends will be there.
Smiling in the mirror as I pin a stubborn curl out of my face, I’m finally happy with my appearance. I didn’t want to over dress, but I want to look nice for my man, so I’m wearing a simple floor-length blac
k skirt, an olive-green shirt, and I have a lightweight sweater on over it. I walk out of the bathroom, sitting on the bed to slip on my high heels, which I hardly ever wear, and I notice my panties on the floor from last night. Smiling, I think back to our private celebration. He was so excited he tore my panties off my body and threw them across the room. We made love three times before we both finally passed out in one another’s arms.
I shake off my thoughts, realizing if I don’t get going I’m going to be late, and I don’t do late. When I pull up to the Bennetts’ house, they are sitting on the porch. I quickly jump out of the car. “I’m sorry, am I late?” I ask as I hurry up the walkway.
“No, no, dear, you’re fine.” Mama Bennett says, making her way down the step. “You look beautiful,” she adds before giving me a warm hug.
“Let’s get going, ladies.” Dr. Bennett opens the car door for Mama Bennett. I slip into the back and we take our short ride to the base.
When we find our way to the building where the ceremony is being held, we are brought to a rather large room. There isn’t much in here, but there are some chairs to the right. We’re sitting toward the front, and I’m assuming it’s so we can see everything clearly. Remy comes walking through the door, and my heart skips a beat. He looks so handsome in his uniform. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “Hi, sweet pea,” he says as I stand to give my man a kiss. He turns to his mother. “Mama,” he kisses her on the cheek.
“How’s your day going?” I ask him. He’s worked so hard for this day, both here at his job and with his counselor to rid himself of the pesky nightmares that were messing with his sleep. He’s done amazing, and I’m so proud of him. He continues to see him once a month, but hasn’t had anymore nightmares.
He shrugs. “Okay, I guess. Listen, I know you’ve never seen anything like this, but this may be my final promotion before I retire, and I would really like for you to be part of it.” My brows shoot up in shock, and a wave of nausea has come over me, I can’t believe he wants me to do something during this ceremony. I begin to shake. “Relax, sweet pea. You don’t have to do a lot. They are going to announce that my fiancé will be removing my rank. When they do that, all you have to do is walk over and peel the Velcro rank off my uniform. That’s it.”
I nod at him. “Okay.”
He smiles. “Someone will be standing there taking pictures of you removing my rank. They will continue with the remainder of the ceremony with you standing by my side. There will be a few pictures at the end, and then we’re done.” He rubs his hands up and down my arms. “You’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal, but I would really like for you to be a part of it. Are you okay with that?”
“If you’re sure it’s what you want,” I say, a bit leery about whether I should be doing this.
“I’m positive,” he looks into my eyes.
“Okay, it’s your day. I just hope I don’t screw something up.”
“You won’t.” He sounds so confident. “I’ll see you soon. I have to get going. They are going to call formation, and I have to fall in with the remainder of the company.” I nod like I know what he’s talking about. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I give him a small smile. He kisses his mama’s cheek again, and shakes his father’s hand before he runs off.
I take a deep breath and drop into my seat. “Wow, I’m nervous,” I say to Mama Bennett.
“You’ll be fine, dear.”
We’re sitting around waiting when some men start to come into the room. A few minutes later, more men and women in uniform start to make their way in. Suddenly, a gentleman yells, “Fall in.” They all begin to run until they make four neat rows all looking at a few people who are standing at the front of the room.
There are two people at the front of the room, and one of them is making announcements and finally says, “Captain Bennett, front and center.” Remy comes running to the front of the formation. We are sitting to the front right of the formation, so we have a perfect view. I’m so nervous I forgot I wanted to take pictures, so I’m thankful when I look over to see his mama is taking care of it. The person in the front of the room begins to speak and talk about the many things Remy has done for his country. He informs the company that they are there for the purpose of promoting Remy from Captain to Major. The gentleman then says, “Captain Bennett has recently become engaged, and he would like his fiancée to strip him of his rank.” He turns to me. “Ma’am, would you please come remove the captain’s rank?”
I stand and quickly approach my man with a huge smile on my face. I’m blushing. I can’t believe he’s thought to make me a part of his special day. I peel the rank from the front of his uniform, and stand to the side so the gentleman can continue on saying what he has to say. He finally places the new rank on Remy’s uniform, and the entire room erupts into cheer. “At ease,” he shouts. “Major Bennett has also earned his second Purple Heart.” He begins to read from a piece of paper, and when he’s done, he opens a small case revealing Remy’s Purple Heart. Remy salutes, the gentleman returns it, and they shake hands. I’m so proud a tear runs down my cheek as I fight back my emotions.
As Remy explained, there were pictures taken of him shaking hands with some men and just standing with them. They then asked me to get in the picture with them as well. His mama also took some pictures of us, and I took some pictures of Remy with them. It was a nice ceremony, but it didn’t take very long which is fine because we need to get home so we can finish preparing for the party. We’re getting ready to head home when Remy says, “I’m sorry, but I have a few things to wrap up before I can leave for the day. I’ll see you at home around six.”
“Don’t forget we’re having dinner at Mama’s, so I’ll see you there.”
“I remember. I’ll see you there.” He says his goodbyes, and runs off to his office to finish up his work so he can get home.
When we arrive back at the house, Brooke is already hard at work in the kitchen. She’s got pulled pork going in the crock pot, a finger sandwich platter on the counter, and a cheese and cracker tray ready. I get busy making my baked mac and cheese, while mama makes some other stuff. While we’re cooking, Dr. Bennett runs out to get the things Mama ordered for pick up, and before we know it, the house is filling up with people. Keaton is here and looking miserable, so I assume he and Lilly haven’t worked things out yet. Dawson and Kayla walk in with their two kids, Beau is in his car carrier, and Becky comes running in full of excitement. She yells, “Where’s Uncle Remy?”
“He’s not here yet, sweetie,” I kneel in front of her. She pouts, and I add, “That’s a good thing. You get to yell ‘Congratulations’ really loud when he gets here.”
“Yay!” She jumps up and down.
Aunt Kenderly and Uncle Jasper are even here. My aunt is helping Mama Bennett in the kitchen, and Uncle Jasper and Dr. Bennett are chatting about retired life on the couch with a beer in hand. I’m watching for Remy from the window when I see Lilly pull up, and right behind her is Remy’s friend, Vaughn. I’m so excited everyone has managed to beat him here, because we really wanted to surprise him. Not that it’ll be much of a surprise when he sees all the cars, but that’s okay.
Kayla comes over holding Beau, and gives me a hug. “How are you?” she asks.
“I’m good. I’m proud of him, and it was nice he made me a part of the ceremony,” I pull Beau from her hands. Remy’s going to want his godson when he gets here, and I want a minute with him before he hogs him. “He’s getting so big, and he’s such a handsome little boy,” I tell Kayla.
“He’s eating me out of house and home,” she shakes her head. We are talking by the bay window so we can watch for Remy, and he’s just pulled up. “He’s here, everyone,” I shout through the house.
We all gather in the living room to wait for him to come in. He’s taking a while, and I know it’s because he’s trying to figure out all of the cars, but he finally comes in. When he walks through the door everyone shouts, “Co
ngratulations!” A huge smile spreads across his face.
“Was this you or Mama?” he asks me.
“Both,” I answer honestly.
He shakes his head. “What am I going to do with you two?”
“Love us.” I press my lips to his. “Congratulations, love.”
“Damn right, and thanks.” He smiles and says, “Can I have my godchild?” I knew it. I hand Beau over, and watch Remy as he makes his way through the house saying hello to everyone as he does. They’re all hugging him and patting him on the back to congratulate him on his promotion. He finally gets to his mama and says, “What happened to a quiet meal with my family to celebrate?”
“This is your family, Remy.”
She’s totally right. Everyone here is now family, including Lilly and Vaughn. Lilly may not be blood, but she’s like a sister to me, and I can see in his smile that he realizes his mama is right. Vaughn puts an arm around him and says, “Congrats, brother. You totally deserve this.”
“Thanks, man.” They hug, and my smile grows.
I’m standing here glancing around the room at the family I have before me, and as much as I fought my heart’s need to love Remy, I’m glad I lost. I’m so proud of this man and all he has accomplished. I love him, and in this moment, I realize just how lucky I am that he didn’t give up on me, because, despite my fear of losing him, I couldn’t be happier than I am today. The life I once feared is now the life I wouldn’t change for the world.
The End
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About the Author
Alison Mello is a wife and stay at home mom to a wonderful little boy. She lives with her amazing family in Massachusetts. She loves playing soccer, basketball and football with her son.