by Alison Mello
She feels around behind her in search of something to cover herself with as she lies on the back floorboard. She finds a blanket and pulls it over herself, but it barely conceals her. She is sure it has only been minutes since she got inside the car, but it feels like hours. Finally she doesn’t hear Derrick screaming anymore. Maybe he accepted that she somehow got away. She has no doubt he is furious. She knows if he gets his hands on her he will be more than happy to show her how angry he is.
Suddenly, the tight space is filled with light and she feels like her heart will explode from her chest. She expects to be drug back out into the rain by her feet, beaten and cursed at, but nothing happens other than the door slamming shut. Seconds later she feels the car move forward and holds her breath as they move slowly through the rain. She can only guess what will happen next. Is the person driving a man or a woman? Will they notice her on the floorboard, and if they do, how will they react when they find her? She starts praying harder than ever before then hears a woman’s voice from the front seat, almost sending her into shock.
“It’s okay, you are safe now. I know you are scared, but I will not hurt you. You can sit up.”
Trinity doesn’t know what to think or say. A whimper threatens to escape and her heart hammers against her chest hard enough to be painful. Slowly, she pushes herself up from the floor and as her whole body trembles, she sits on the edge of the seat, wrapping the blanket around her. Drops of water from her hair run into her eyes. Wiping them away, she sees an older lady driving. From the backseat she looks into the rearview mirror and sees the woman’s soft, compassionate eyes.
“What’s your name, dear?” the lady asks as she glances back and captures her gaze. “Trinity,” she barely whispers.
“That’s a beautiful name and whether you know it or not, it’s religious and stands for something. My name is Mattie. I saw what was going on and when I saw you hide, I knew I had to help you. Like I said, you are safe now.”
Stunned by the stranger’s compassion and generosity, she asks with a trembling voice,
“How did you see me?”
“I was in the business next to the bar and I happened to glance out the window because it was raining so terribly hard. I guess it was perfect timing when I saw you get in the car. Almost as soon as you slammed the door I could hear that man screaming for you. I didn’t have to be a genius to realize you were in danger.”
Trinity doesn’t say anything at first. Her emotions are roiling inside of her and she’s struggling to keep them at bay. She watches the rain slide diagonally down the windows and listens to it beat upon the outside of the car. She feels lost and hopeless, more than she ever has in her life, but at least she’s not with Derrick. She remembers how her life used to be. It feels like another dimension and she wants it back.
She hates how her life turned out since she’s been with Derrick. The past year has been the worst, and now she is in a stranger’s car with no clue where they are going or what will happen next. All she knows is she has to rely on God more than ever. He is truly all she has left. The problem is she doesn’t know if God will help her. She doesn’t feel she deserves His help. Then again, she realizes, if it wasn’t for God she wouldn’t have been able to get away or find a safe car to hide in.
“Where are we going?” Trinity asks a little louder than before.
“Is there someplace you can go? If not I will take you to my house. My husband is there and like me, he will be more than happy to help. He’s a pastor.”
“I have nowhere I can go,” Trinity replies as she slides back against the seat feeling defeated. “Thank you for helping me.”
The rest of the drive is silent, except for the rain that relentlessly continues its downpour.
Tears begin to escape and mix with the water dripping from Trinity’s soaking wet hair. A pastor?
She can feel God working just like the saying goes—He works in mysterious ways. Believing God is with her helps her feel safe. After a few more minutes they pull into the driveway of Mattie’s house.
“We’re here.” Mattie turns to look at her and says, “I know you don’t know me or my husband, but I promise that you have nothing to be afraid of. Come with me.”
Mattie gets out of the car and Trinity follows behind her, running as quickly as they can to get out of the dreadful weather. Once inside Mattie calls out that she’s home and has brought a guest. Trinity stands on the doormat, unsure what to do next as large drops of water fall from her onto the polished floor. Before she can think anything of it, Trinity is looking at an older man with balding hair and a plump build. He resembles her grandfather except for the fact he’s white. He has a kind and compassionate look about him, and she feels at ease with them both. “Well now, who may you be, young lady?”
“Trinity. I’m sorry to be causing you any trouble,” she answers and lowers her gaze.
“Oh dear—you are no trouble,” Mattie assures her. “Come with me so we can find you a change of clothes. You are soaking wet and will surely catch pneumonia.”
Trinity tries to smile as she follows Mattie down the hall. They walk into a small bedroom that obviously isn’t theirs. The bed appears unused and there isn’t much sitting on the furniture as far as pictures and knickknacks.
“This is the spare bedroom. We don’t normally have many guests, but once in a while we do help someone in need so that’s what we use it for,” Mattie tells her as she begins to rummage through the closet. “Okay, here we go. It ain’t much but the last woman we helped left it behind and it looks like it might fit you.”
Trinity looks at the sweatsuit that Mattie hands her. It looks relatively new and she holds it in her hands and enjoys how comfortable and warm the fabric feels.
“Thank you, I really appreciate this,” she says, her head hanging low.
Placing her hand on Trinity’s arm, Mattie says, “It’s no problem. The bathroom is down the hall on your right. Just come into the kitchen when you are finished. I believe Howard was preparing something for dinner so if you are hungry, you are more than welcome to join us.”
“Thank you.”
Trinity walks into the bathroom, closes the door, and stares at her image in the mirror. What she sees staring back is frightening, and she hopes she will never have to see herself this way again. Her eyes are bloodshot with dark bags beneath them, her bottom lip is swollen from where Derrick hit her, and her hair is all over the place. Closing her eyes, she fights to not break into tears. Her bottom lip quivers and she grips the edge of the sink until her knuckles turn white.
Shaking her head, she can’t believe the mess she’s in. For so long, in every aspect of her life, she worked hard to be happy. Being a twenty-nine year old woman with no children she had, until recently, a decent career in photography for a blossoming magazine. She eats healthy and knows she’s an attractive black woman.
She was happy until just over a year ago when she made the mistake of moving in with her boyfriend. She was in love and thought he loved her. Everything had been so great between them, but almost as soon as she moved in he changed, dramatically. He started showing a side of himself she had never seen before and it didn’t take long until he began hitting her. Lately it had gotten much worse; she had grown afraid for her life. She knew she had to somehow escape his torment. Now she’s in a house with two people she’s never met before but who are willing to help her. They seem nice, but she’s scared. She hasn’t any idea of what’s going to happen and that terrifies her.
Opening her eyes, she lets them fall on her reflection again and remembers her mother’s reaction when Trinity told her she had fallen for a white man. Her momma was the old-fashioned type and at first she wasn’t happy about it, but Derrick fooled her too. Not long after she met him her momma passed away from a heart-attack. She misses her more than ever, but in a way it’s good that she doesn’t know what has happened since.
Shaking her head, she undresses, cleans up the best she can and gets dressed in the sweatsu
it. After taking another look at herself, she nervously walks into the kitchen where Mattie and Howard are setting the table for three. They both look up and smile at her.
“Perfect timing,” Howard tells her. “Supper’s ready. Are you hungry?”
Trinity nods her head. “Yeah, a little, thank you.”
They sit around a small oak table and Howard and Mattie reach for her hands to say grace. Even though she wants to get closer to God and get in church, this is something she isn’t accustomed to. Saying a prayer before a meal was unheard of in Derrick’s house. It feels good and she holds their hands, closes her eyes, and listens as Howard prays over the food.
“Lord, our Father and Savior, I thank You tonight for the blessings You continue to place in our lives. I thank You for the opportunities and the guidance to help us on our way. Thank You Lord for blessing our table with this food and I ask that it will suffice our needs. Most importantly, Lord, I thank You for gracing our home with Trinity tonight. I ask that You help us be able to help her if she will give us the honor, and whatever is in Your plan for her that You give her the strength, courage, guidance, comfort, and acceptance she will need to walk through it safely. In Your name I pray, Amen.”
When Howard finishes, they begin to fill their plates and she sits watching, suddenly uncomfortable.
“Help yourself dear, there’s more than enough. When Howard cooks, and thankfully it’s most of the time, he usually makes enough for a small army.”
“It’s a good thing you love my cooking,” he jokes.
“I do, but what I love most is me not having to cook most of the time.”
Trinity can’t help but giggle at the two of them. She has only been there about thirty minutes, but already finds them not only sincere, but cute together. It’s obvious each one adores the other. There isn’t a lot of talk during supper and afterward she is told to sit when she tries to help clean up the dishes. When the dishwasher is filled and running, they all go into the living room and she knows it’s time to tell them more about herself and her situation.
“So Trinity, I hope you don’t mind, but I think you’ll agree that maybe we should know a little about what is going on. Please, don’t be afraid, and we will never judge you by anything you tell us. We only want to help and knowing what is going on will help us help you,” Howard kindly says to her. She knows he’s right and she isn’t surprised by him asking, but that doesn’t make it easier. She’d rather not talk about it, but they have the right to know. She takes a deep breath and starts twirling a strand of her hair with her fingers. Looking at them, she begins to tell her story.
“I don’t know exactly where to start, so I guess I’ll tell you a little about me first. I’m originally from North Carolina. That’s where I was born, but when I was five my mother took me to Colorado when my father passed. We lived in Boulder the entire time until I chose to move here to Connecticut to pursue a career in photography. I didn’t make a lot of friends because I have always had a hard time with that, plus I was so busy building a life here. Not too long after I moved I met a guy named Derrick. It took a while, but he finally talked me into going out with him; he was a smooth talker. I didn’t know it then, of course, and I fell in love with him. We dated about a year and I truly believed he was the one. Momma was still in Colorado and her health was starting to get bad. When I told her about Derrick, she wasn’t real happy about me dating a white man. She worried about me too much. So I talked him into going out there to meet her and like I said, he was a smooth talker and he managed to convince her he’s a great guy. Shortly after we came home I moved in with him. That was when things started to change and not in a good way. He started yelling at me over little things. I thought it was because he was getting stressed over money and work. I didn’t want to think he was a bad guy. I was still in love so I did my best to not worry about it too much. Then he wanted to know everything I was doing. Where I was at all times and who I was with. It became really stressful on me. Then one night I wasn’t feeling good and he had been drinking too much and wanted to have sex, but I didn’t want to. To him, my feelings didn’t matter. He hit me, almost knocked me unconscious, and raped me. It’s escalated ever since.”
She stops for a moment to breathe and get control of her nerves, hoping she won’t start crying. Her hands are shaking. Howard and Mattie watch her with compassion and don’t say a word.
“Well, what happened tonight is I asked him if I could start going to church again. It infuriated him. He hates the idea of me being in church. He yelled at me and busted my lip, knocking me to the floor. I didn’t fight back. Instead, I went to the bathroom and got ready to go to the bar that he insisted on making me go to with him. I knew he would want to have sex when we got home, but it sickened me to even think about being touched by him again. I should mention, too, that not long ago I found out he was dealing drugs. That was partly why he wanted to go and I despise that he does that. When he went in the office at the bar to buy what he wanted I knew it could be the only chance I would have to run and I didn’t hesitate. That was when I hid in your car.”
A moment passes before Mattie speaks. “When you left him tonight, you left everything else behind as well, didn’t you?”
Trinity nods as a tear manages to escape. “I had no choice. I had no time to plan, so…yes. I have nothing right now.”
Howard is silent until Mattie asks if she was afraid for her life and she nods her head in silence. She isn’t able to say anymore because of the lump in her throat.
“I know it may not look like it right now,” he says, “but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This isn’t the first time we have had a young woman in need of help placed in our lives. God placed you with us to keep you safe, even if it’s for a short while. We have a very trusted friend who I know will be helpful if you want me to call him.”
A tear falls onto the carpet and Trinity wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Mattie hands her a box of tissues and she blows her nose. She tries to say something, but her heart says otherwise. She breaks down into uncontrollable sobs and she folds into herself. Mattie sits beside her and holds her like she was her own child, comforting her. Howard sits with his eyes closed and quietly says a prayer. Once she is calm enough to talk again, she asks who his friend is and how he can help.
“His name is Gates, and he used to live near us. He is a Marine veteran and was a Navy Seal before he decided to have a more private life and moved here. Now he lives in Virginia in a small town called Moneta, near a lake he speaks highly of. We actually talk about once or twice a month. We stay in touch not only because he became like a son to us, but because he has helped someone else like you before. We trust him with our lives if it ever comes down to that.”
“No offense to either of you, but right now I’m not sure if I can completely trust anyone.”
“I understand, but what other choices do you have?” Howard asks.
Trinity feels defeated and hangs her head. “None.”
“Do you want me to call him and see if he will help?” Howard asks.
Trinity thinks for a moment and knows she really doesn’t have any other options. She has to get away. She can’t stay here and put them in danger as well. If Derrick finds her she is as good as dead. She truly believes that. She nods her head and whispers “Yes.”
“Okay, I’ll call him right away. Why don’t you try to get some rest and we’ll talk more tomorrow. Mattie will help you get comfortable. Everything will be okay. Have faith and trust God.”
Howard makes the phone call to his friend and Trinity walks with Mattie to the spare room, feeling like the world has been laid upon her shoulders. Mattie talks to her for only a moment and lets her know if she needs anything through the night to not hesitate to ask. She says “Good night” and closes the door, leaving Trinity alone.
She gets beneath the covers and cries herself to sleep, but sleep is fitful. She tosses and turns through the night as she battles with nightmares. Several ti
mes she wakes up sweating and wanting to run, but she has nowhere to go. The last thought before sleep finally comforts her is what will happen to her? Will she ever find peace again, or will her future be filled with more torture?
Chapter 3
Trinity
Trinity lies on her stomach and slowly begins to wake. Her eyes crack open when she feels a slight pain in her neck and a moan escapes. Darkness still dominates the room and she realizes it’s still very early. She thinks about how weird it feels to wake up in a place she has never been. She has no clue what time it is, but she can still hear the rain and wonders if it will stop any time soon. She hopes so because the dreariness makes her feel worse. She thinks about what’s happened and where it has brought her.
She turns on her side and squeezes the soft pillow beneath her. She wishes with all her might that she could somehow go back in time before she ever met Derrick, knowing what she has learned, so when she does meet him she will know better. She knows it’s a waste of time thinking that way, though. She can’t do anything about what has happened.
She closes her eyes, hoping sleep will comfort her again, but as time passes she accepts rest has forsaken her and emerges from the comfort of the bed. As she softly shuffles down the hall and into the living room, her eyes become better focused in the dimly lit house. Standing near the kitchen, she can see the clock on the cablebox reads barely six o’clock. She is a guest in Mattie and Howard’s home and isn’t comfortable with touching anything so she sits on the couch, looking through the newspaper. She has nothing else to do. Before long her eyes grow heavy. She is almost ready to go back to bed when she hears a door open.
“Good morning dear, are you okay?” Mattie softly asks her.
Trinity nods. “Yes ma’am. I wasn’t sleeping well so I got up a little while ago. I didn’t wake you, did I?”