by Alison Mello
I clear my throat quietly and look down to see Poppy staring at the woman with wide eyes. “Hi, Diane.”
The kitchen is filled with numerous people, mostly women around Poppy and Stephanie’s age. I gather that they’re Stephanie’s friends, watching as they coddle and worship her. I notice an older couple sitting in the living room, watching TV with Poppy’s dad. There are a few middle-aged couples as well, presumably aunts and uncles.
“Who’s the handsome man?” Diane asks, nodding to me. I divert my full attention to her, seeing her brown eyes glimmer mischievously. They flick to my right a moment before I feel an arm loop around my own. I jump in alarm as I look down at Stephanie.
“This is Reid Holt. Quarterback of Waubonsie both junior and senior year,” Stephanie says, leaning into me. I furrow my eyebrows, giving off the impression that I’m highly confused as to why she is touching me in such a manner. I withdraw my arm from her grasp and step away from her and closer to Poppy.
Poppy’s hazel eyes meet my own and I shake my head slightly, silently apologizing for the fact that her family makes her uncomfortable. Apologizing for something that isn’t even in my control.
Sighing, I step forward again. “I’m Poppy’s boyfriend,” I declare.
Apologizing because I just threw Poppy into a messy situation, headfirst, while trying to save her at the same time.
Because as any boyfriend will do, I am not going to allow Diane and Stephanie to make Poppy uncomfortable while I’m here. I will be Poppy’s backbone and her strength, even if we aren’t a couple.
Though, I so badly wish we were.
Poppy’s eyes widen to the size of saucers as she looks up at me. I smile down at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close so I can dip my head down to whisper in her ear. “Trust me, Poppy,” I whisper.
“Poppy’s what?” a deep voice sounds from the living room. Poppy tenses beside me and I mentally reprimand myself. I’m just making matters worse, it seems.
I feel Poppy’s dad walk up behind us, causing Poppy to turn out from under my arm and look up at her father. I glance at him over my shoulder.
When can I get Poppy out of here? Her fear is nearly falling out of her pores in waves and it’s making me grind my teeth.
“Pops, why would you keep this good-looking man hidden? You should have brought him over last Saturday for our bonfire,” Stephanie says, now standing with her friends, who are gossiping among themselves. Stephanie sends us a wink and I almost laugh. She’s something else entirely.
I just claimed to be Poppy’s boyfriend, quite proudly I might add, and she continues to flirt. Hell will freeze over and the sun will set in the east before I even consider looking at her in such a way.
“I-I wasn’t invited,” Poppy responds, her eyebrows coming together in confusion, as if she doesn’t understand why Stephanie would say such a thing.
“And she hasn’t been hiding me. We prefer to have a more…personal, introverted relationship,” I say, my voice strong. I glance at Poppy, seeing her cheeks flush as she smiles down at the floor. Her smile makes this worth it…makes all these awkward confrontations tolerable.
Stephanie scowls before she walks toward Poppy, causing me to stiffen. Poppy’s head is still bowed, but sensing the new presence, she lifts it to look at her step-sister. Poppy takes a step back, her hazel eyes wide.
Stephanie grasps the bottle of champagne that Poppy has been clutching since the moment we got here. “Is this for me? Thanks, Pop.” Stephanie rustles her hair and walks toward the kitchen to pour her and her friends a glass. I glance at Poppy’s father to see him watching his daughter, completely oblivious to the way she’s being treated.
I step toward Poppy and grab her hand, lacing our fingers together as I dip my head so my lips are to her ear. “Do you want to leave? We can leave right now,” I whisper. Poppy shakes her head, letting out a shaky breath.
“She’d win,” she mumbles, giving my hand a squeeze.
Pride flares through me, causing me to kiss her temple.
“All right, well, if you all want to grab a plate, we’re going to get our food and then sit around the bonfire outside,” Diane announces from the kitchen. I lead Poppy forward, stepping up behind her father in line, situating her in front of me. Stephanie and her friends get in line behind me.
I hold Poppy’s hand as long as I can, until we grab hold of our plates and scoop a variety of foods onto them.
Diane has prepared mashed potatoes, corn, mac and cheese, a bowl full of cut fruit, and hamburgers that Poppy’s father surely grilled.
Poppy hands me a beer and takes a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
The backyard holds a large patio with a built-in fire pit. Surrounding the roaring fire is a full set of brown and tan furniture. There are two loveseats, a three-section couch, and five single chairs. Poppy quickly claims a loveseat and I sit beside her, our bodies pressed up against each other.
Poppy crosses her legs, placing her plate on her lap and the drink on the armrest. She carefully eats her mashed potatoes, her eyes watching everyone around her.
The fire illuminates her skin, giving her an orange glow that intensifies her beauty tenfold. My stomach twists but I can’t stop. The food is forgotten in my lap, as all I can concentrate on is the woman who owns my heart.
I decide to do as she does and people-watch.
Poppy’s father and Diane are sitting on the couch, his arm draped over her shoulders, with an aunt and uncle. The elderly couple is sitting on the other loveseat, the man absentmindedly rubbing his wife’s neck as he talks with the uncle. The loud, obnoxious girls are sitting in the five single chairs, giggling and making a racket.
I do another quick scan and stop when I see Diane’s green eyes staring right at me. I lean back in my seat and raise my eyebrows at her, silently questioning why she’s looking at me. A small smile twitches on the corner of her lips. Diane looks at her daughter and an odd, proud smile fills her face.
Proud?
I almost scoff, and take a bite into the hamburger, letting out a soft moan. Poppy turns her head to look at me, a beautiful grin taking place.
“The hamburger is amazing, Mr. Evans.” I praise the man, peeking up to see him nod his head.
“Thank you, Reid.” His voice is heavy, full of warning.
“Poppy, do you remember Gavin from senior year?” I hear one of Stephanie’s friends ask. I glance over at the girl, whose hair is shaved off one side of her head and is wearing a loop ring around her nose. Her dark red, nearly black, lipstick has rubbed off from eating and drinking.
Poppy shuffles in her seat, tucking her feet up under her butt, placing her empty dish on the ground. She nods her head, looking at them warily.
“He’s in town. Was asking if you were available for…round two.” The girl stifles a laugh, biting her bottom lip. My heart stutters, making me look over at Poppy with confusion.
“What does that mean?” Mr. Evans asks. Poppy’s eyes water as they meet mine before she drops her head, her beautiful brown hair creating a curtain as she gathers her plate and rushes into the kitchen.
I look over at the girls, who are giggling softly amongst themselves. Getting to my feet, anger courses through me. “What’s so funny? Please, do share it with the rest of us,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I step toward the group. They all look up at me, amusement slowly fading from their features. “No? Ask yourself, would it still be funny if it had happened to you? Leave Poppy alone, girls. I don’t know about your past with her, but I’m here, and I am her future. And I will not tolerate any more harassment.” I look over at Mr. Evans, shaking my head.
Yes, just sit there. I’ll take care of your job.
“Thanks for the party,” I say, hurrying into the house, seeing Poppy washing off her dish in the sink. I hear her sniffle—my very own weakness. I approach her, running my hands through her thick, long hair to move it away from her face. Cupping her rosy cheeks, I stare into her bloodshot,
watery eyes.
“Let’s go. I’m not letting you stay in this house for one more minute.” I grab her hand and lead her away from the sink, taking us straight out the door toward my truck. Pulling my keys from my pocket, I unlock the vehicle and open the passenger door for her.
I drive Poppy back to her apartment, white-knuckled as I listen to her cry into her hands beside me.
Whenever we stop at a red light, I watch her and gently rub her back. I don’t understand what happened, what that girl meant, but it hurt Poppy. Therefore, I am content with just being angry for the moment.
When I park in the lot of her apartment complex, I turn to face Poppy. “I’m not letting you go in until you give me a convincing smile, Poppy,” I whisper. She lets out a breathy chuckle as she shakes her head.
Poppy looks at me, tears staining her cheeks. “I can’t talk about it, Reid. Not with you,” she says.
My stomach twists violently, making me sick. I try to brush off the feeling of rejection as she clearly states that she’d rather speak with someone else. But I understand. I’m not Rachel. I’m not the best friend who seemingly saved her life.
I left her junior and senior year. I left them unprotected…and apparently my absence was taken advantage of. I never asked if there were any situations…I just figured Rachel would have told me.
Unless Rachel doesn’t even know…
Who is Poppy confiding in, if neither of us know?
“That’s fine. But I have a question for you.” Poppy nods, telling me to continue. “Why didn’t you tell me that Diane was so…” I widen my eyes and make a horrified expression. Poppy giggles, a satisfying smile making an appearance.
I smile back at her, grabbing her left hand, lifting it to place a kiss on her knuckles. “Thank you for coming, Reid. And for backing me up the whole time,” she says, letting out a sigh as she reaches for the handle of the door.
“Anytime, Poppy. And I mean it. If they give you a hard time again, you let me know.” Poppy blushes as she slides out of the truck and walks into the building, her shoulders hunched.
I run a hand through my hair and let out a tired breath. I am not going to allow anyone to speak down to Poppy again. I’m not going to leave her again.
Chapter 5
Leaving Again
Poppy
May 23, 2016
I knew it was going to be a disaster. It’s been two days, and I still can’t get what happened Saturday out of my head. All I think about is how weak and vulnerable I am.
How pathetic I am.
I practically have a sign on my forehead saying, “pick on me, I’m an easy target.”
I always thought high school would be the end of it. Just graduate and they will leave me alone. But no…even at the age of twenty-one, Stephanie still gets a kick out of making my life miserable.
She feeds off of my weakness, off of my embarrassment.
Junior and senior year were the worst…and I knew it was because Reid was gone. He had put up a wall around Rachel and I, declaring us off-limits. Anyone who made an attempt to harass us had to deal with him. But when he graduated, it was as if the two years had to make up for lost time.
Stephanie would release rumors so awful that eventually I began to believe her…
Was I mentally ill? Why else was I unable to speak properly? Why was I so frigid and afraid? Ever since I could remember, I’ve been this way. There is no confidence within me.
Then she would spread rumors saying my mother didn’t want me…that was the reason they split, but my father would send me to her house because he didn’t want me either.
“No one wants you.”
I believed her…how could I not? My parents used to love each other so much…what other reason is there? There had to be something wrong with me that would cause them to split.
I believed that rumor for so long because she never let me forget. She was always there to remind me that I was unwanted.
But the worst thing she ever did to me, that completely broke me, was Gavin.
“Poppy, my brother is in from out of town…is it all right if I take my break early?” I glance over at Megan, who has a hopeful look on her face.
I nod my head and walk over to the bar to make the newest drink ordered, allowing Megan to clock out and go on her lunch. Jake, another barista, is taking an order on drive-thru while I quickly knock out all the drinks, lining them up for him to hand out.
Once it dies down, I begin taking apart one bar and thoroughly clean it before I shut it down for the night. Jake mops the floor while telling me about his weekend. He is one of the friendliest co-workers, always talking and asking questions. He’s a sweetheart and is going into his senior year of high school. He tells me that he wants to be a journalist, like his mother.
After a while, I find myself watching him work.
How could he be so nice to me?
Does he not see what everyone else does?
Perhaps he’s just oblivious…or too kind to make a comment.
People usually avoid talking to me because of the fact I can’t necessarily carry a conversation without stumbling or stuttering.
But Jake never comments or seems annoyed. He just smiles and waits for me to finish my side of the conversation before he answers.
I sense a presence at the front cashier and I glance to see Reid leaning against the counter. His bright blue eyes flick at Jake, irritation flashing across them before they settle on me. He smiles softly. “Hey, Poppy. How’s the shift?” he asks, his tone gentle. I walk toward him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I lean against the counter as well, our faces a foot apart.
“It’s fine. What are you doing here?” I ask.
I flinch at how rude that question came across…that is no way to treat the man who practically saved me from Stephanie and her horde of friends.
“I’m just checking up on you. Making sure you’re okay,” Reid answers, standing up straight to run a hand through his hair. “When are you on break?” I glance at the clock to see that Megan has ten more minutes until she gets back.
“About ten to fifteen minutes,” I say, gnawing on my bottom lip as I gaze up at him.
“I’ll wait for you. Come sit with me when you’re off,” Reid practically pleads. I nod my head and turn around to continue making drinks.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Reid sit in the booth in the middle of the store. I sigh internally, wanting to sit in the corner, where I usually am.
When Megan gets back, I tell her to relieve my position so I can take my lunch. I make an iced tea for myself and then a basic latte with two scoops of sugar for Reid…it’s been his favorite since I’ve known him. He gets it every time Rachel, he, and I go to a coffee shop.
Meeting him at the table, I hand him his drink. Reid looks up at me, gratitude evident on his face as I sit across from him. “I haven’t seen you in months and now you seem to pop up everywhere,” I whisper, my head bowed as I twirl my straw around my cup, watching the ice dance.
“That’s because I wasn’t exactly here,” Reid answers, surprising me. What does he mean? Where would he be?
I lift my eyes to look at him. He has a small smile on his lips as his blue eyes watch me…they’re always watching me.
I see you.
I shiver at the memory of his soft words…
Does he really see me?
“What do you mean?”
Reid frowns, his brows coming together in confusion as he shakes his head. “Rachel didn’t tell you?” I raise my eyebrows.
Tell me what? What would have been so important that Rachel would tell me? Was there perhaps a girl? She would have told me if there was. She’s been concerned about Reid’s bachelorhood.
Is he moving? Was he scouring apartments to move to? Rachel definitely would have told me that, as well.
“No…” I trail off, biting my bottom lip.
Reid bows his head, reaching up to run his hand over his crew cut hair. I watch his
fingers, as they are barely able to sink into his blond hair. I remember his hair used to be so long and moppy that he was able to grab and tug on it whenever he was angry or nervous. Now, as he grasps it, it looks odd and with effort.
“I was at boot camp,” he whispers, lifting his head so he can look at me again. My heart stutters a beat, causing me to shake my head.
“W-What?” I stutter, so easily falling into my norm. Reid looks regretful as he reaches forward to lightly grab my hand. He squeezes my fingers, his thumb brushing my knuckles.
“I thought you knew, sweetheart. I thought…I would have guaranteed that Rachel would have told you…I should have told you…” Reid looks lost and uncertain, foreign expressions for him.
I feel my heart race as I lean back against my chair, taking my hand out of his as tears begin to gather. “You’re leaving again…” I whisper, my voice barely reaching my own ears. However, Reid hears me perfectly, or perhaps he reads my lips.
“Poppy, no.” A finger and thumb grip my chin in a slightly tight grip, jerking it up so our eyes meet. His are swimming with desperation and determination. “That’s not what this is.”
“Last time you left…” I stand to my feet, shaking my head.
As I look down at Reid, I begin to realize the truth behind it all. I rely on him…just as much as I rely on Rachel. I lost all sense of self-worth and strength when he graduated high school and moved on to college.
But when he moved back, I was able to get through the days again, even though I hardly saw him and Rachel was gone. I thought he was here. He was a safety net, someone to fall back on if or when I ever needed him.
I didn’t even know it, but I always trusted and relied on him.
Last time he left, I was broken…because Stephanie was able to reach me and torment me.
Why am I so weak?
I don’t want to have to depend on Reid or Rachel. I don’t want my strength and confidence to come from them.
I don’t want to lose myself when Reid goes off to war and Rachel moves off with Talen.
But I should have known this would happen. They were bound to move on, no matter how much I can’t imagine a life without them. They are already planning ones without me…or around me.