by Wolf, Bree
Louisa wanted to slap him! No, strike that! She wanted to punch him!
“I’ll let you pass if you answer a few questions,” he told her with a wink as though he had suggested something utterly indecent. “Deal?”
Louisa frowned. “How many questions?”
An approving smile came to his lips. “A valid point! I like...it.”
Louisa had the strangest feeling that he had wanted to say you instead of it. I like you. What a foolish thought! “One, then.”
“Five!”
Louisa laughed. “Two.”
“Four.” His grin grew deeper. That dratted man seemed to be enjoying this far too much! “Very well, let’s meet in the middle and say three.”
“Fine,” Louisa relented, feeling herself tense at the thought of what he might ask of her. “What then?”
Putting a hand to his chin, Phineas Hawke put on a great show of pretending to consider all possible questions. “Let’s see.” He frowned as though in thought.
“Today!” Louisa insisted, wondering if she should simply try to shove him out of her way. Perhaps if he did not see her coming, she would get away with it.
“Ah!” the man exclaimed, his forefinger raised as though he had just had an epiphany. “Why is your family not here with you?” His voice sounded surprisingly caring, and the look in his eyes no longer held mischief. “At least, not all of your family.”
Louisa sighed. “Because they caught a cold,” she told him honestly, suddenly feeling too exhausted to continue this strange game of theirs. “My youngest sisters, Chris and Harry, came down with a fever two weeks ago. They are better now, but are still feeling a bit weak. After them, the cold made its way through the family, bringing down my eldest sister Jules as well as my brother Troy.”
“And your parents?”
“My father caught it as well,” she replied in a heavy voice, taken off guard by how much she missed having her whole family here with her. At Christmas, no less. “My mother did not. But she was concerned and so she sent us away.”
“She did not leave herself?” he asked gently as his hand once more reached out and almost tenderly tugged on that errant curl. “She stayed to tend to them?”
Louisa nodded. “They’ll be fine. Mother said they would all be fine.” She swallowed, her voice thickening. “But Grandma Edie is old, and the elderly sometimes...” Her voice trailed off as she forced the thought back into oblivion. A life without her beloved grandmother was unimaginable!
“Do you miss them?” As his fingers toyed with her hair, his knuckles brushed against the line of her jaw, sending an odd chill down her spine.
Louisa shook herself, finally taking a step back. “You’ve already asked your three questions. Now, let me pass.”
Phineas Hawke chuckled. “I asked one. The others were only to encourage you to continue with your answer.” He leaned closer. “I still have two left.”
Louisa swallowed, wondering why she suddenly felt so vulnerable. “No, we’re done. Let me pass.” Her hands trembled, and she could feel tears pricking the backs of her eyes. What on earth was wrong with her? She could not break down now! Not in front of him!
To her utter surprise, Phineas Hawke nodded, then moved to step aside, allowing her to pass. “Very well.”
For a moment, Louisa was too dumbfounded to move, her eyes fixed upon his face. “Why are you simply giving in?”
A small smile curled up his lips, one not tinged with mockery. “Do you want me to fight for you?”
A reply formed on Louisa’s tongue quick as lightning, and she struggled to hold it back before he could hear it. After all, the one word that lingered, that refused to back down without a fight was not No.
It should be No.
It had to be No.
And yet, it was not.
Tearing her gaze from his, Louisa marched down the corridor past countless doors and around corners until she no longer knew where she was. Deep down, she could not help but think that she was running away.
Away from the warm glow in his eyes.
Away from the foolish desire to have him...care for her.
Away from the thought that he did not.
Louisa knew he did not. He could not, she reminded herself, once more forcing her mind to recall that one moment almost two years ago. That one moment that had changed everything.
No, he could not care for her.
Ever.
She ought to remember that.
* * *
A sly smile stole onto Anne’s face as her blue eyes moved from Leonora to Louisa. “Indeed, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say…you liked him.”
Louisa felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach. “You must be mad!” she retorted later that same afternoon, outraged that anyone dare suggest she could have feelings for this…this miscreant, this reprobate, this… “I hate that man. No, hate is not a strong enough word. I loathe that man.” Or didn’t she?
No, she did! And that was final!
Judging from the smile that refused to leave Anne’s lips, her cousin did not believe her, though. “Why? What on earth has he ever done to you?”
Louisa’s jaw tensed as she felt her cousin’s as well as her sister’s eyes on her as they stood out in the hall near the drawing room. Indeed, what had he done? Nothing she could share with them for they both remained in the dark about Louisa’s humiliating flaw.
“It cannot simply be because he calls you Lulu,” Anne reasoned quite correctly. Yes, it was not merely that name, but what it represented. Louisa hated that nickname because it told her loud and clear that Phineas Hawke thought of her as a simpleton, a pretty head—as he had said—pretty, but empty.
“I agree,” Leonora threw in. Louisa wanted to slap her. “Even taking your effervescent character into account, I cannot imagine that anyone would be riled in such a way by a simple dislike to a nickname.”
Anne grinned at her. “Indeed. Therefore, I assume that you do like him for your reaction is as telling as mine.” As the last words left her mouth, Anne tensed and swallowed hard.
Charging forward, Louisa grasped for the straw Anne had carelessly held out to her. “I was right!” she exclaimed, returning her thoughts to the matter they had been discussing before Anne’s inquiry into Louisa’s feelings toward Phineas Hawke. “You do like him.” And by him, she meant the miscreant’s younger brother, Tobias Hawke, of course.
“Perhaps,” Anne croaked, looking almost as uncomfortable as Louisa had felt a moment earlier.
“Would you stop saying that?” Louisa huffed out. For the past months, she had been trying to convince Anne that Tobias Hawke was not simply her childhood friend or even her best friend, but the man she loved, the man she ought to marry. “Why can’t you simply admit that you care for him? He clearly adores you. Why are you so afraid to kiss him?”
A hint of alarm came to Anne’s face as she looked up and down the corridor. “Why are you so certain he’s the one for me?” she asked quietly.
“Very well.” Louisa threw up her hands and inhaled a calming breath. “I admit I’m growing tired of this discussion. So, how about this?” Her gaze settled on Anne’s. “You kiss Tobias under some mistletoe, and,” she held up her right forefinger, “if I’m right, if he actually is the one for you and you end up marrying him, then I promise I’ll kiss…that man.” Louisa’s jaw tightened. Had she truly just said that? Where on earth had those words come from?
“You’ll kiss Phin?” Anne asked, clearly astonished and unfortunately not hard of hearing.
“Yes,” Louisa ground out, regretting her thoughtless outburst already. Perhaps her head was empty after all. It was a painful thought.
“Under some mistletoe?”
Louisa shrugged, fighting to keep up the pretense that she had not just made the biggest mistake of her life. “I don’t care. Wherever you like.”
Anne and Leonora exchanged shocked glances. “You heard her say it, too, didn’t you?”
Leonora nodded. “Are you serious?” she asked Louisa. “Why would you agree to kiss someone you detest?”
Louisa sighed, “Because I want to see her happy.” She glanced at her cousin, who had always been like another sister to her. Anne’s mother had passed away when she had been young and her father had followed his wife to the grave only a few years back, at which point Anne had come to live with the Whickerton family. “And I’m convinced she’ll never be happy with another. As I’m unable to convince her of it, I suppose this is the only way to get her to agree.” She held out her hand to Anne. “Do we have a deal?”
Louisa prayed that Anne would not allow a great man like Tobias Hawke to slip through her fingers because she was afraid to risk their friendship. After all, was love not friendship mixed with passion?
“You’d do that for me?” Anne asked, her eyes wide and searching.
“Of course,” Louisa told her warmly. “I may not appear as the most compassionate person, but I want to see you matched with the man who holds your heart.” She sighed, wondering if she herself would ever find a man who would look at her the way Tobias looked at Anne. How could her cousin not see that the man loved her? “If you believe nothing else, can you at least believe that?”
Tears pooled in Anne’s eyes, and she grasped Louisa’s hand. “Deal.”
Louisa hoped fervently that she would not come to regret this. Kissing Phineas Hawke? That could only end in disaster. He would no doubt tease her about it endlessly. Still, for Anne’s happiness, Louisa would shoulder worse.
Unfortunately, it was Anne’s and Tobias’s mistletoe kiss that ended in disaster!
Chapter Three
A Moment in the Snow
Phineas bowed his head after witnessing his brother kissing the girl he loved under some mistletoe. Indeed, it had not gone well. In fact, it could not possibly have gone worse.
The second Lady Louisa had spirited Tobias away outside the library, Phineas had known that she was up to something. Clearly, whatever it was had to have had something to do with Anne. It seemed Lady Louisa, too, had taken note of the longing glances and shy smiles exchanged between the two of them and had decided to help them along.
Unfortunately, her plan had backfired. Tobias was now more than ever convinced that Anne only considered him a friend. Her reluctance to kiss him had proved that beyond the shadow of a doubt. At least, as far as Tobias was concerned.
Phineas, on the other hand, had seen Anne tremble not with reluctance, but with nerves. If he was not at all mistaken—and he rarely was—then she had been as nervous about the kiss as Tobias himself, afraid to reach for more and lose what they had.
In the end, it took all of Phineas’ powers of persuasion to wrest a promise from his brother that he would speak to Anne again the next day. Alone and away from prying eyes.
And by speak, Phineas meant kiss. He could only hope his brother had gotten the message. On occasion, Tobias proved a bit daft. At least, where love was concerned.
Rounding a corner, Phineas walked across the foyer and toward the stairs, to his surprise ready to retire rather early compared to what he was used to. Indeed, contrary to general opinion, matchmaking was hard work especially when one had to deal with two utterly reluctant parties. Perhaps he simply ought to bow out and leave this up to fate!
Still, Phineas knew he would never forgive himself if Tobias lost the woman he loved because of some kind of misunderstanding. Because that was what it was, was it not? Why was it so hard for those two lovebirds to realize how they felt? Or rather how the other felt? Was it not obvious?
Phineas thought it was.
“Should we not wait for her?” came Anne’s voice from down the corridor.
Phineas pulled to a halt, then ducked into a small alcove as footsteps drew nearer.
“It is dark out by now, and besides, she should not be out on her own, should she?”
“She promised to stay on the terrace and Grandma Edie promised to keep an eye on her from the drawing room window,” Lady Leonora remarked, a hint of exhaustion weighing down her voice. “You know Louisa. There is no changing her mind, and my toes feel as though they’ve fallen off.”
Anne chuckled slightly as they walked past the alcove. “Mine as well.”
Waiting until all sounds of their footsteps had ceased, Phineas then stepped back out into the corridor, deciding to peek into the library before he stepped outside. Indeed, the thought of Lady Louisa out there by herself drew him like a moth to a flame. It was the strangest sensation, one he could not seem to shake. Still, if Lady Louisa’s grandmother was keeping an eye on her, he would rather know in advance. In truth, he had thought the old lady had already gone to sleep.
To his surprise, Phineas did find the dowager seated in a lush armchair by the softly crackling fire in the drawing room, a thick blanket wrapped around her legs. However, the old woman’s eyes were closed tightly and soft snores drifted from her lips as her chest rose and fell with the gentle breaths of slumber.
Phineas grinned. He could not have planned it better if he had tried!
Careful not to make a sound, he slipped out through the side door, quickly pulling on the thick coat he had retrieved before heading over from the foyer. Indeed, Fortune seemed to smile upon him!
The wind blew harshly, and Phineas quickly drew the warm piece of clothing around himself, momentarily stunned that Lady Louisa had decided to remain in this freezing hell a moment longer than necessary. His skin stung with the cold, which quickly began to spread along his limbs. Still, the moment his gaze fell on a cloaked figure on the edge of the terrace, every discomfort ceased to matter.
In the dim light of the crescent moon, Phineas slowly made his way over the snow-covered terrace, fresh flakes dancing in the cold air like dancers twirling to music. He heard a soft crunch whenever his feet sank into the snow, feeling oddly reminded of snow ball fights he had fought with Tobias when they had been children. That had been long ago, and yet, the thought chased a smile onto his face.
“I said I was fine. There is no need for you to—” Spinning around, Lady Louisa broke off when her eyes fell on him, clearly having expected anyone but him. She wore a long, dark cloak over her gown, the hood pulled down into her face. Only here and there did a blond curl peek out, its light color in stark contrast to the surrounding dark.
“So I heard,” Phineas replied as he stepped closer. In this dim light, he could not tell if her dark green eyes were shooting fire or not, and he rather disliked that.
“What do you want?” she demanded with narrowed eyes as well as a chilling cold in her voice that would put winter’s efforts to shame. “Have you not annoyed me enough for one day?”
Phineas laughed, watching her wrap her arms around herself under the cloak. He wondered if it was for warmth or comfort. Did he truly unsettle her so? “It might surprise you, but it is not my goal in life to annoy you.” He chuckled, unable to help himself. “It is merely an amusing byproduct.”
Her shoulders tensed, and she shifted her posture in a way that spoke of displeasure, if not anger. Knowing Lady Louisa, it was probably anger for whether he could see it or not, Phineas was certain that now her eyes were shooting fire at him.
“If you will not leave,” she snarled with barely contained outrage, “then I will.” Whirling around in her haste to leave his side, Lady Louisa lost her footing on the iced-over terrace. Her arms flew out and her eyes went wide as she flailed helplessly.
Phineas had never been one quick in his reactions; however, before he knew what was happening, he had closed the small distance remaining between them and pulled her into his arms, surprisingly steady on his feet himself.
Her hands grasped his arms, holding on tightly as she closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder, exhaling a deep breath. “Thank you,” she mumbled, those two words screaming loudly of the deep shock that had stunned her into forgetting who she was speaking to. Otherwise, she never would have thanked him!
Not i
n a thousand years!
Phineas rather liked it. He liked holding her in his arms even more. She felt warm and tempting, and despite the cold air, the smell of summer seemed to linger upon her curls. He looked down into her face, her eyes still closed, and without thought, his arms tightened upon her, wishing to prolong the moment.
Phineas knew it to be a mistake even before her eyes flew open and she grew rigid in his arms.
“Release me!” Lady Louisa snapped a bit breathlessly, shoving against him. Clearly in need of some distance between them, she staggered a few careful steps backwards. Once she had found her footing, she brushed her hands over her gown rather distractedly, her gaze not meeting his. “Is there anything in particular you came out here to say?”
Phineas smiled as her eyes continued to avoid his. “I did, yes.” Disliking the distance between them, he moved closer, noting the way she tensed, but held her ground. “I could not help but notice how spectacularly your endeavor to unite our two lovebirds failed tonight.”
At his words, Lady Louisa’s head snapped up and she glared at him, her upper lip quivering with anger. “What?” She swallowed then, unable to argue that it had indeed failed. “Well, at least, I’m trying to help them. That is more than can be said for you.”
Ignoring her jibe at him, Phineas kept his eyes fixed on her, delighting in the way she fought to draw breath while holding his gaze. “That kiss could not have gone worse, could it?” he asked conversationally, inching closer.
Lady Louisa swallowed before her gaze darted to his mouth. Realizing where her attention had strayed, though, she jerked it back up, her cheeks blazing a deep shade of red. Or was that from the cold?
Phineas chuckled in absolute delight. “Perhaps they’d be more successful without onlookers to spoil the fun.” Smiling at her, he deliberately moved his gaze down to trace the curve of her lips before once more meeting her eyes. “Would you not agree?”
Although she seemed a bit flustered, Lady Louisa met his gaze without flinching. “I suppose so,” she replied, a somewhat devilish curl to her lips that he found deeply intriguing. “I’ve always thought so.”