“Would you have rather I let you take an enemy’s blade?”
“Yes,” she snapped.
How could he be so obtuse?
Maverick grumbled something unintelligible about chaos under his breath as he rounded his desk. “I’ll try to remember that the next time I plan to throw myself on a knife for you.”
“Please do. I don’t need you to save me.” She tried to inhale a sharp breath, but it ended up sounding more like a sniffle. “Not anymore.”
This hadn’t been the first time, and that only irked her more. Back then, she’d been barely a woman and she had been weak, so weak that she’d frozen, and it had cost her everything. In that moment, she’d sworn to herself things would change, that she would change, and she had, because she would never be weak again.
“Besides, it won’t help the matter when word gets out about your proposal. If you can call demanding that I marry you a proposal…”
It could only reflect poorly on her. The world was all too eager to find any reason it could to bring strong women like her down. How often had she been told to remain on the sidelines, as if that were her rightful place? Had she and all the other women in her life not proven themselves to be equal, to matter, despite the fact that they should never have been asked to prove themselves to begin with?
They deserved better than the role the world tried to force them into.
Maverick pegged her with a hard stare, his words cutting through her. “What are you afraid of, warrior?”
She shook her head, being more than a bit petulant. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Most days, he would have left it at that, but he didn’t. “This isn’t about me asking to marry you, so what is it about?”
She couldn’t tell whether it was the graveled quality of his voice shaking her or whether he’d laced the words with a coaxing growl.
Of course, it wasn’t about his proposal.
It was about all the ways she’d failed the women who’d placed their hopes in her, all the ways she’d proved every one of her critics right. She knew the council’s decision was unfair, but that didn’t stop her from questioning if she could have done something, anything, to make herself good enough. She’d have to own up to those failings, no matter how unfair they were, sooner rather than later.
She crossed her arms over her chest, shielding herself as she fixed her eyes on his bookshelf. She couldn’t look at him when he was watching her like that. Like he saw everything. “I should have gotten the position.”
He didn’t say anything at first. He simply watched her. With one look, he seemed to be able to recognize all the words she left unspoken. It’d always been that way, hadn’t it? At times, he seemed to know her better than the back of his own hand.
Rounding his desk again, he eased closer. So close that she couldn’t force herself to stare at the bookshelf anymore.
“Then marry me.” To her surprise, Maverick reached out and captured the end of her braid between his fingers. He toyed with the golden strands with the pad of his thumb, gentle and reverent, so unlike the grumbly beast of a man she now knew him to be that she felt the caress all the way to her toes. “All behavior is excusable for a fool in love.”
Sierra’s breath caught, because for a moment, the gruff, impenetrable mask he wore faltered, and once again, he was Maverick. Just Maverick. Not the man, myth, and legend who had stood before her for the past ten years but the friend who’d once meant the world to her. Loyal. Noble. Brave. All the things he kept hidden from her now behind walls and scars so impenetrable she could scarcely see the real man beneath.
But despite the longing in his eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to believe him.
It couldn’t be her he spoke of.
It was Rose. He’d loved Rose. His wife.
So why did she get the feeling he was speaking in the present?
“I’m no fool.” She pulled her braid from between his fingers. She couldn’t look at him now. If she did, he would see straight through her. “And I can’t marry you.”
Mate separation among their kind was unheard of, which meant even if she had the mind to entertain the idea, once she committed, there was no turning back.
In an instant, the vulnerability she’d glimpsed was lost, and the stone-faced packmaster returned. The cold look in his eyes hurt more than it should have.
“It’s a simple negotiation. We’d both get everything we want.”
A simple negotiation? She almost let out a pained laugh. There was nothing simple about it. Yet he said it as if he knew the inner workings of her heart.
A cowboy like him would likely assume he knew all a woman desired. But he couldn’t know her desires, because he’d never so much as bothered to ask.
Filled with renewed frustration, she rounded on him again. “Did it ever occur to you that I might want a mate who loves me, maybe even a family someday, in addition to the position of elite warrior?” She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too, damn it. How could he not see that?
“You may want those things, but not more than being an elite warrior,” he challenged.
Her hands clenched into fists. He was right, of course, and she hated that he saw through her. There was nothing she wanted more. Yes, she wanted a mate who loved her, a family and children to call her own in the future, but those things alone wouldn’t fulfill her. Her drive to protect and serve the pack was the singular goal she’d based her identity around. She was a warrior first and foremost. She defined herself by it, and everything else came second.
“And if it’s children you want, that part I can give you,” he said, interrupting her thoughts. He raked his gaze over her so thoroughly that heat prickled beneath her skin. “It wouldn’t be a problem.”
Sierra blinked. “Are you suggesting that we…?” She couldn’t even bring herself to say it.
“For a packmaster, the point of mating is to produce an heir, so yes, I am suggesting that,” he said, saving her from the mortification of exactly what that entailed. “Eventually.”
Heat flushed through her cheeks.
“For now, all you need to do is say ‘I do.’ Then we spend a single night together to convince the council we’re fully mated. We both know they’ll expect to scent that we’ve slept together. Then, after the mating ceremony, we can live our separate lives while you get everything you wish. The position of elite warrior that you rightfully earned, and the power, privilege, and prestige that come with it. Not to mention all the benefits of being the packmaster’s wife.”
She was aware of the benefits. When Rose had been alive, no one dared look twice at her. Not without risking the censure of the packmaster himself. He was offering her an unprecedented level of power, more than her role as elite warrior would ever afford her.
But power wasn’t what she was after.
“I understand, but I’m not willing to lose my sense of dignity. I won’t sleep my way to the top—and certainly not with you.” She wrinkled her nose as if the thought of sleeping with him displeased her. She wished that were the truth. “Why play into the council’s hands? Why not disband them and call it a day? You’ve defied them before.” He’d gone against tradition at more than one turn. It was what the council hated most about him. So why bow to their will now?
“I can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both,” he grumbled.
He was nothing if not honest.
Yet why did she get the feeling there was something he wasn’t saying?
“The council proved an invaluable resource to every packmaster before me. They serve a greater purpose for the Grey Wolves, and the strength of a wolf is his pack.”
It was the practiced answer, the measured one that befit a man in his role. Not all of what he really thought, or at least that was what she suspected. Most of the time, she couldn’t see w
here he and his role began and ended anymore.
She nearly scoffed. Even when it benefited him, she knew Maverick wouldn’t do anything that would hurt the Grey Wolves, or even anything that could be construed as such. He was too loyal for it. Despite all the judgment from his critics about his lack of respect for tradition, he always did what was best for the pack.
It was something she’d always admired about him.
Even when it frustrated her.
“You deserve the position. The pack wouldn’t question it,” he said.
“Don’t patronize me.” He may not have ever stood in her way, but he hadn’t exactly helped her as she once would have hoped either. She didn’t expect a handout or a favor, just for someone to unlock the door to let her in, to take their foot off her neck.
“Marrying me is a formality, a way to get around the council for both of us. If it’s your pride you’re concerned with, I’ll petition them to reverse their decision before we announce the proposal. They’ll be thrilled I’m taking a mate. They won’t hesitate.”
“There’s only one problem with that plan, Packmaster.” She shook her head. “You don’t love me.” She forced a laugh. “Hell, we don’t even like each other.”
His gaze darkened. “You don’t have to like someone to want to sleep with them, Sierra.”
Her name on his tongue sent an instant wave of heat to her core. “If you’re referring to when I kissed you, I was only trying to make a point, to show you there’s nothing between us.”
It was a blatant lie. When she’d kissed him, there hadn’t been a single part of her that hadn’t been affected. She still felt the ache it’d sparked low in her belly. The longing.
The sides of his lips quirked into that damn amused grin again. “And did you succeed?” he taunted.
“Yes. You may be boss of this godforsaken ranch and packmaster of the most powerful wolf pack to ever exist, Maverick Grey, but not every she-wolf swoons in your presence.”
“Not every she-wolf throws herself into my arms, warrior.”
This time, the use of the title only made her bristle.
“You’d asked me to marry you, and you’re the packmaster. I couldn’t have told you no if I hadn’t fully considered my options. It was curiosity. Nothing more.” It was a feeble excuse, but it was the best she had to offer.
His eyes flashed to his wolf. “And was your curiosity satisfied?”
She raked her gaze over him.
No. It hadn’t been. Not in the slightest.
“My answer is still no.”
“Then we’re at an impasse.” He stepped behind his desk, lowering himself into his executive chair. Behind it, he was the image of authority. She’d never much had a taste for authority figures, for being bossed around or told what to do and yet…
“Go home, warrior. Rest assured I won’t allow your reputation to be damaged. Our conversation doesn’t leave this room.” The smoldering fire that flashed in his wolf eyes caused a rush of heat between her legs. “But my offer still stands.”
Before she lost all her will to refuse, she turned to leave. But as she did, she gripped the door handle and turned back toward him. “What about the attempt on your life?”
He watched her for a long beat before he finally answered. “My role forces me to do many things that don’t bear repeating.” He cast her a dark grin. “But if I do my job right, the pack will be none the wiser.”
Sierra had little doubt about that.
Without another word, she left his office. When she stepped outside the main building, the cold air hitting her face, her careful steps developed into a run. The last vestiges of night were fading over the horizon, and the pale yellows of the early Montana sunrise stretched across the vast open sky. Before she could stop herself, she shifted into her wolf, the cold autumn air whipping through her with such force she felt the cold beneath her fur, deep within her bones.
She didn’t stop running or shift back to human form until she finally reached the safety of her house on the far end of the compound. Her mind had been too busy pondering what dark deeds the packmaster’s role had forced him to make, things she couldn’t even begin to fathom. Yet as she did, despite being alone and with most of the packmembers long since settled into sleep, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched.
Logically, Maverick had a long list of enemies who would be happy to claim his life.
Yet she’d been denied by the council, Maverick Grey had asked her to marry him, and now someone wanted him killed. All in the same night. They were three separate events she’d never expected to happen, and now, despite her logical judgment, she couldn’t shake the instinct that those three events were inexplicably linked.
Chapter 6
“What do you mean you told him no?”
To say that wasn’t the reaction Sierra expected from Dakota would be an understatement. They’d been out on the training field since midmorning, and despite the gray overcast of the wide-open skies, the damp, frostbitten mountainside had finally given way to a hint of warmth as afternoon approached.
“Not so loud.” Sierra nodded for Dakota to follow her as they made their rounds across the thawing grass.
From the edge of the field, Randy let out a frustrated whinny, stomping a hoof on the frozen grass as he nibbled at a few brown bits. He paused only to huff at Elvis who, despite the cold, had followed them from the chicken coop and was pecking about Randy’s legs.
Fortunately, they hadn’t yet gotten snow this season—an unusual turn of events—which meant the few straggling calves that had recently hit the ground would likely make it through. The treacherous Montana autumn often gave way to plummeting icy temperatures. Welcome weather for a wolf, but not so much for the cattle they raised.
Dakota was shaking her head, her lips pursed as she monitored one of the new trainees. Whether the distaste twisting her features was due to Sierra’s recounting of the previous evening or the bad form of the trainee they were monitoring, Sierra wasn’t certain.
Sierra glanced toward the trainee and fought back a cringe. “Shoulders back, Amaya. You can’t slouch while swinging a sword.”
Ever since her application had been put forth to the council several months prior, they’d had an influx of female trainees. Sierra’s candidacy had inspired a spark of hope in them. But once word of the council’s rejection got out, she feared their ambition would be doused. The thought of any young woman on the ranch hearing that she’d been denied for not having a mate twisted her stomach into knots. Thank goodness most of the established female warriors had been too disappointed for it to become a point of discussion yet. The last thing she needed as she grieved that loss was to feel their disappointment in the situation…in her.
Finally, when she and Dakota were a safe distance away from the trainees again, Sierra turned toward the other female. “Go on.”
“I really can’t believe you. He offered to give you everything you’ve been working for, and you said no?” Her dark brows drew low as she muttered a curse in Vietnamese, her family’s native language. “I mean really, Sierra?”
Elvis chose that moment to stop pestering Randy, only to start pecking at Sierra’s feet, the ridiculous mop of feathers on his head flopping.
“Okay, okay.” She reached into the inside pocket of her Carhartt jacket and removed the pouch of chicken feed she kept there. She’d started carrying it since lately it seemed there was no way to get the bird to stop following her.
Dakota shook her head. “You’re encouraging him.”
Sierra shrugged. “Maybe. But the King waits for no one.” She tossed another handful to Elvis before she placed the satchel into her pocket. “You’re wrong about Maverick though. He offered me a trade for the position, not what I’ve been working for. I want to be recognized for my contributions, to pave the way for the rest of you.”
; “Exactly.” Dakota crossed her arms with an exasperated huff. “He held out the opportunity for you to pave the way on a damn plate, and you turned it down. And for what? The sake of your pride?”
As if Sierra’s pride wasn’t an entirely important and valid reason. Of course, she wanted to feel pride in her accomplishment. She’d worked hard for this, and she didn’t want that accomplishment undermined.
“I didn’t think this would be your reaction.” Sierra had expected her friend to feel like she had. At first confused, and then filled with outrage at the injustice of it all. She shouldn’t have to marry anyone to get what she wanted, especially not when she’d deserved the position.
“Sierra, I understand,” Dakota said, practically reading her thoughts. “But for once, he’s right. Everyone knows you deserve the position, and anyone who thinks otherwise isn’t worth your time. We both know that those who don’t want to see change in the pack will find any reason not to support you.”
Sierra nodded. “Don’t I know it.” She’d found plenty of anonymous disapproving messages in her pack mailbox before. Hell, she’d even discovered one last night once she’d returned home, and that’d only been the most recent. It’d been written in anger and read like a thinly veiled death threat. It’d likely been from only one or two begrudged beta males who’d felt threatened by the existence of an alpha she-wolf who could best them.
As much as she loved the Grey Wolf pack, every family had a few bad apples.
Dakota paced several steps to the left, craning her neck to see one of the trainees in the back row. “If not this, it would be something else. If you were a man, you wouldn’t think twice about claiming the title you rightfully deserve by any means necessary. You say you want recognition, and you did achieve recognition. One of the elite warriors put your name forth. That’s never happened before in the history of this pack.”
Dakota had a point. In that way, she had achieved her goal, at least in part. Pack policy dictated that an elite warrior could only be appointed via anonymous nomination by an already established member. Then, the nomination moved forth to the council for a vote.
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