That was what it came down to. The rest of it, as he’d said, was bullshit and noise.
I knew this moment, this one precious, perfect moment of absolute clarity wouldn’t last. In the morning, we’d be leaving the beach and heading back to our real lives. But I felt like he was giving himself to me with this kiss. And not just in the way that people proverbially “gave themselves to each other” when they had sex. We weren’t even having sex right now.
It felt like he was pouring every ounce of the light and love he had inside him into me. Like he was giving me every part of himself that wasn’t vital for his continued existence. And what was more, like he was giving those things to me so that, when we did go back to our real lives tomorrow, I would be taking him back with me.
Or maybe my very non-poetic brain is just making up all these things that don’t even make sense because the moment itself is so romantic. Whatever it was, I threw myself into it with all the same passion and fervor as he did.
He tasted like red wine, and truffles, and Tristin. His lips were hard, but his tongue was firm and insistent. Every part of it—of him—was perfect and delicious, and I wasn’t about to go ruining it by trying to figure out what was going on in my head.
Tomorrow was another day, and whether we wanted it to or not, it was coming for us. Thinking could wait until tomorrow.
I slammed the lid on my thoughts—poetic and otherwise—and just focused on feeling. His heart was racing against my chest, his breathing uneven, and his hands impatient.
The crew had gone after they’d served our dinner, but I didn’t know where they were. Since we were on a boat, they couldn’t have gone very far.
Tristin didn’t say anything, but his mind seemed to have gone to the same place mine had. Gently slowing our kiss, he rested his forehead against mine once our lips parted and just breathed for a beat as his fingers stroked my cheek.
“Come with me,” he murmured before standing up and holding out both his hands for me to take. I did as he asked, blind to the opulence of our surroundings as he led me to a bedroom with windows just above the waterline outside.
We stood at the end of the bed, our gazes never breaking eye contact as we started removing our own clothes. Tristin was so gorgeous in the moonlight streaming in from outside that I wouldn’t have been able to look away from him even if I tried.
Which I didn’t.
Obviously.
No woman would’ve. Hell, a lot of men wouldn’t have either, and I wasn’t even only thinking about those who were usually into what he was packing.
He was just so freaking beautiful, standing there in the silvery light of the moon and the shadows playing across his muscles as they moved, that no human who had any appreciation for the gods that walked among us would’ve been able to not stare at him.
It was a testament to the level of emotion in the room that he didn’t smirk when he caught me looking at him like that, nor did he comment on it at all. Instead of doing that, he was staring at me in the same way.
Staring at me like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing either. With all that going on, it took us longer than it should’ve to remove the little clothing we’d been wearing. Swimsuits and T-shirts weren’t exactly a lot of layers to have to get out of, but we both moved slowly.
Once we were finally naked, we came together again in a gentle clash of lips and bodies and the unspoken desire to come together in more ways than just the obvious physical one. The only time we broke apart again was when he had to leave the bed to get condoms from his bag in the corner of the room.
It was powerful stuff, this emotional lovemaking we were doing. We held each other’s hands, kissed, caressed, and looked into each other’s eyes. My orgasm was more like the lazy roll of thunder one could hear coming from a distance than the sudden flash of lightning ripping through me.
Tristin came undone above me just seconds after I came back to earth, his eyes staying on mine until he just couldn’t keep them open anymore. He stayed inside me for as long as he could after, then left the bed only to dispose of the condom before he was back.
It was a night of dozing off, waking up to make love, and then dozing off again. We didn’t speak very much in between, but there was nothing that needed to be said tonight that was more important than what our bodies were already effectively communicating.
We loved each other. We’d missed each other. We were both terrified of losing each other, but neither of us knew if we’d end up having any choice in the matter.
When I woke up the next morning, I was still lying in Tristin’s arms. I must’ve turned over in my sleep, because we were face-to-face now, but I’d fallen asleep the last time with him behind me.
It was amazing how safe and comfortable I felt with him, even if it was a little unbelievable to think I’d spent a night on a yacht. As hostile as this world of his could be, it was also filled with so many beautiful possibilities.
Watching the sun rise over the ocean from the middle of it—after the most intense night of my life— was one of those beautiful things. It wasn’t even just a possibility anymore. It was my reality this morning, and it was all because of him.
I knew why he’d brought me out here. I knew it was to show me the upside to having as much money as he did. It was his way of showing me the good that could come with the bad. The people were worse than bad, they were horrible, but this was also better than just good.
It was incredible, and so was every minute I spent with him. I had to force myself to climb out of that bed, scooting carefully to the edge of the mattress so I wouldn’t wake him.
My bladder insisted that I do force myself away from him, though. No matter how much I’d rather have stayed in that bed with him all day, I couldn’t. We had to get back home, and later this morning, we even had to go to work.
I just needed a few minutes to myself before all the craziness of the week began. After attending to the necessary and then brushing my teeth, I went to get some coffee and headed outside to drink it.
The water was clear and calm, the swells gentle and the sky still that magical dark blue of the very early morning. As I sat down on the deck with my knees drawn up to my chest and one arm around them while I held the mug in the other, I thought about Tristin and what he had tried to do yesterday.
It was clear that he was serious about me. He wasn’t making any secret of it, and honestly, I’d always loved how open he was with me when it came to us.
To the outside world, he was something else entirely to what he was to me. With me. Even when we’d been kids, he’d kept his circle small. Very few people knew him the way I did, and I knew for a fact that those people at the party couldn’t be counted among that number.
But his mother’s words haunted me.
She’d gotten so far into my head that I didn’t know if there was any way of getting her out of it again. Somehow, when I’d been at the ripe old age of eighteen, she’d managed to plant seeds of doubt that had grown into bushes. Bushes I couldn’t seem to weed out even in my thirties.
Could I risk my heart despite those bushes? And if I didn’t risk it, what would that mean? This might very well be my only chance at true happiness, but I didn’t know if I was strong enough to take it.
Tristin wasn’t and never had been a momma’s boy. I knew he didn’t share her views or opinions, but she had raised him. At some point or another, he might come around to seeing things her way.
It didn’t seem likely, but there was no way of knowing for sure. Even if it never happened, could I live with the fact that Selena hated me and would never think I was good enough for her son? Could I live with the doubt she’d planted that I’d only ever drag him down?
No matter which way I sliced it, I just didn’t know. I didn’t know whether he’d wake up in fifty years’ time, turn over in bed to see me there, and wonder what he might’ve achieved if it hadn’t been for me.
But I also didn’t know if I could really break his heart all over again
. If I could break my heart all over again.
The gentle lapping of the waves against the hull couldn’t answer any of these questions for me. No one could. Not even me.
There was no crystal ball that would tell me what would happen in our future. All we had was now, and right now, I didn’t have a clue what I was supposed to do.
27
TRISTIN
Back in Raleigh after what would’ve been the best weekend of my life—if it hadn’t been for the blight of the party sitting squarely in the middle of those memories—I sat in my office and tried to focus on work.
It wasn’t easy, since all I really wanted to do was to think about Brittany, but I made it happen. Archer was in and out all day for meetings we had scheduled. He asked how the rest of the weekend had gone but didn’t bring up my misstep about not having told Brittany about the party earlier again.
She hadn’t brought it up again either on our drive home or when I’d dropped her off, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that the consequences of having taken her to the party with me weren’t quite over yet.
The phone on my desk ringing pulled me out of my thoughts, and I was surprised when my assistant told me she had a call from Faye waiting for me. It was only once I told her to put Faye through that I remembered our conversation at the party.
“I have a proposition for you,” Faye said after we’d exchanged pleasantries. “I’ve been taking on a bigger role in the family business, and I think I’ve found an opportunity for us to collaborate. Can we meet up to talk about it?”
“I thought you wanted advice about taking on a bigger role,” I said, frowning as I thought back to what she’d said. “I didn’t realize you’d already taken it on.”
She giggled, the sound grating on my nerves for some reason. “Oh, yes. Well, I would like your advice, but I’ve also made some strides on my own.”
That definitely wasn’t the impression I’d gotten, but I shrugged it off. “In that case, I’m open to meeting with you. My schedule is jam-packed for the rest of the day, but I’ll have my assistant send you a couple of options of slots I have available for the week.”
She made a hesitant, humming sound. “Actually, I was hoping we could talk about it over dinner tonight. It’s the only time I’m free.”
“Dinner? Yeah, okay. I suppose that’s fine,” I said, wondering if perhaps I was being a bit naïve by agreeing.
Ultimately, though, she was in her family’s company now, and we had a long-standing business relationship with them. If she had an idea she wanted to pitch, the least I could do was listen. She’d apologized for what had happened with the lunch, after all. Maybe my gut instincts about dinner were wrong and I wasn’t being naïve about it.
It turned out that my instincts weren’t wrong. Faye made the reservations for dinner, and as soon as I arrived at the restaurant she’d chosen, I knew I’d fallen for a ruse.
No one made reservations at a place like this one to discuss a possible collaboration in business. Fairy lights were strung in a dimly lit courtyard. Candles flickered on all the tables. Soft French music played from speakers mounted discreetly on the walls, and every other table was occupied by couples holding hands or leaning into each other.
Fuck, this was a mistake.
I had half a mind to turn around and walk right back out, but Faye had already seen me where she was waiting at a table in the corner.
She stood up, dressed to the nines in a dress with a provocative neckline and with makeup and hair looking professionally done. A smile broke out across her face as she raked her eyes slowly over me when I approached her.
“Tristin,” she said in a voice that was closer to a purr than anything else. “I’m so glad you could make it. I took the liberty of ordering a bottle of wine for us. It’s a Chateau Margaux. I hope you’re a fan of red.”
As she moved in to greet me, I held out a hand to shake hers instead. She glanced at it, a tiny crease appearing between her plucked brows for a fraction of a second before the smile was back in place. Her hand slid into mine, but she didn’t shake. She just kind of held it for a moment before I let go.
“I don’t make a habit of drinking during business meetings,” I said. “I’ll just have a water. The Chateau Margaux is a good wine, though. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”
Seemingly taken aback, she blinked a few times before she nodded and lowered herself into her seat. “If you like it, have some. This isn’t a formal meeting, and we’ve known each other a long time. Surely, you can’t be completely opposed to mixing a little pleasure with your business.”
I shrugged out of my jacket and sat down, folding my hands on the table in front of me. “I’m not completely opposed to it, but this must be important if it was so urgent that you needed to see me right away. I’m looking forward to hearing this proposal of yours.”
Her gray eyes held mine, and unless I was very much mistaken, there was a hint of disappointment in them. It was gone when she collected herself, sitting back in her chair as she flashed me a demure smile. “I used to have the biggest crush on you when I was a little girl. Did you know that?”
“I suspected,” I admitted, lifting my shoulders as I shook my head. “You didn’t really know me then, though. You also don’t really know me now. What is this really about, Faye? Clearly, it’s not about business.”
If the coolness of my tone surprised her, she didn’t let on. She stared into my eyes from across the table with that smile still in place. “I do have a proposal for you, and it would be good for business, but it’s of more of a personal nature.”
“Let’s hear it, then.”
She motioned toward the bottle of wine. “Are you sure you won’t have some? It’s delicious, and you might find you enjoy my company if you’d just let yourself.”
“I came here because you said you had something you wanted to discuss with me. Now I’m starting to think that you meant for this to be a date.”
“We could be good together, Tristin.” She flicked a hand between us. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. A relationship would strengthen the ties between our companies, and I really do think we would be a good match.”
“Maybe we would be, but I’m already in a relationship,” I said, trying to let her down firmly but gently. “I’m not interested in seeing anyone else, and I would’ve told you that on the phone if you’d have been honest with me about your intentions tonight.”
“I don’t mean to waste your time.” She reached for my hand on the table, but I pulled it away. A soft sigh escaped her, but she wasn’t ready to give up. “We haven’t had an opportunity to spend time together with just the two of us. I thought we could use tonight to change that. Why don’t you just relax, have some wine, and get something to eat? We’re already here. We might as well make the most of it.”
“Again, Faye, I’m not having some wine. I drove here, which means I can’t. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t. I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, but like I said, I’m in a relationship with someone else. So no, I’m not relaxing or getting something to eat.”
The calm, confident expression she’d tried so hard to keep in place slipped, leaving behind that cold gleam of calculation in her eyes that I saw so often in my mother’s.
“I saw Brittany at the party, heard her trying to make small talk, and she seems like a nice enough girl. But I’m on Selena’s side on this one. She’s not like us. You need someone by your side that knows how to navigate our world.”
Dear Lord, what is it with everyone and this “world” thing? “Respectfully, you don’t know what I need. A person’s financial status doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Look.” She schooled her features again. “I know you’ve been living among people who aren’t like us—”
“Excuse me?” I hadn’t been dumbstruck in a long time, but fuck. “Are you implying that the men and women I’ve been living among, the ones who enlisted to fight for and protect our country, somehow aren’t good e
nough because they’re not like us?”
I emphasized the last word and then scoffed. “There is no ‘us,’ Faye. If you’ll excuse me, I should really get going.”
There was so much more I wanted to say, but I held my tongue. Causing a scene in a restaurant just because I didn’t agree with someone wasn’t like me.
“Don’t go. Please.” She shot up out of her chair when I stood up, circling her fingers around my wrist. “Could you at least give me a ride home? Daddy has our driver for the evening, and I don’t feel safe taking a cab.”
She doesn’t take cabs? My eyes wanted to roll so damn badly, but I held them in check, sighing as I resigned myself to seeing her home. “Fine. Let’s go.”
Once we were on our way to her parents’ house, she pulled her phone out of her purse and fired off a text before turning to face me again. “I didn’t mean to imply anything or to offend you earlier, Tristin. I’m sorry if it happened that way. All I meant was that you and I are stitched from the same cloth. If you would just give me a chance and get to know me, I think you’ll see that.”
“I’m not offended.” I kept my eyes on the road ahead, my headlights lighting up the road when we hit the darker streets leading out of the center. “Let me be very clear with you about this, though. It’s what I’ve been trying to do from the get-go. If you want a friend or someone to talk to about what it’s like to take over from a legend, then I can help you. I can’t offer you anything more than that.”
She exhaled in a huff, turning toward the window and staying like that for the rest of the way to their house. When we got there, I could’ve sworn I saw a flash of light as I stopped at their gates, but when I looked around, I didn’t see anything.
Faye smiled at me, seemingly having gotten over her brief temper tantrum. “Thank you for the ride.”
“You’re welcome,” I returned her smile with a polite one of my own, then shifted my car into reverse. “Good night, Faye. I’ll see you around.”
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