“You’re so fucking tight,” he rasps. “This is mine.” Aidan swallows audibly and thrusts deep inside me, rubbing me in all the right places. The frame of the bed squeaks out in protest as he ravages me—brings me closer to blissed out paradise.
“It’s yours,” I repeat, jagged breaths catching my words. “I’m almost there.” Tilting my hips up, I slide my hand between our wet bodies and stroke my clit as the pleasure builds. Aidan keeps the pace the same, his breathing uneven, his hand skimming the side of my body to end under my thigh.
He pulls my leg up to fuck me at a deeper angle and I come apart, one wave of pleasure at a time. I can feel his smile against my neck as he stays deep inside me as my orgasm hits. Closing my eyes against the onslaught of feelings, I ride it all the way up and back down. My heart is beating out of my chest, a reminder that I am in fact living in this moment instead of dreaming of it. A string of curse words exits my mouth when I finally have my wits enough to speak.
Aidan juts his hips when my body relaxes into the afterglow, and he comes in a rapid fierceness so strong I can feel his orgasm pulse against my channel. He grunts, relaxes with his elbows on either side of me and slides his forehead over to rest on top of mine. Sweat. So much sweat is glistening on our bodies. I don’t know which is his or which is mine. “That was the hottest sex I’ve ever had,” he says, taking my bottom lip in between his teeth. “In both temperature and physically,” he explains.
I smile with my eyes, unable to move my mouth. He releases my mouth with a kiss. “Is that a bad thing?” I ask, floating around in that after sex cloud of delirium laced with lust tainted love. Casual, I remind myself. Even if I am his girlfriend, this is casual sex. Don’t make a big deal about it. Don’t show him too much. You showed too much downstairs. Keep this close.
“It’s a very good thing, Magnolia,” Aidan chirps, a wide, lazy smile on his face. It steals my breath when he says my name paired with that smile. He reaches between our bodies and pulls the condom off. He ties it, hunts for the wrapper and slides the cum filled latex into the foil.
“I’ve never had sex with a condom before,” I admit. So much for not giving him anything else. “It feels…different.”
Aidan grins. “Does it? I’ve never had sex without one.”
I must look shocked because he goes on. “Not a risk I’d ever take.”
“Oh,” I reply, sitting up, dabbing sweat off my chin. “Even if you were exclusive with someone?” I eye the foil and raise a brow. “Seems a little unnecessary if other measures were in place.”
“I control a condom. I can’t control a chick taking a pill at the same time every day,” he says, glancing away. I prod a bit more and he tells me he’s not opposed to having children eventually, but he wants them to be planned. He’s not good with surprises.
Swallowing, I come to my knees and press my body against his. “That was amazing. The best sex of my life, I just can’t help but wonder what it might feel like to have you inside me without barriers—with nothing between us. Just skin. You and I.”
Aidan’s neck works. “When you put it like that,” he says, chuckling. Aidan explains how he gets tested at work monthly for STDs or any sort of health ailments, really, and then I tell him how I have a nifty IUD that prevents pregnancy. He seems intrigued, almost as if I’m an alien when I tell him how it works. “You mean there’s fishing wire in there and I didn’t feel it?”
I nod. “And it stays in place for fifteen years. I had it put in years ago and didn’t bother having it taken out after the divorce. It seemed easier to leave it there.”
“You’ve given me something to think about.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never considered it in the past. You’ve been in relationships.”
He clears his throat, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “They weren’t the trustworthy kind.”
“I am?” I ask, grinning. I can feel his erection rising again.
Aidan shifts so it’s between my legs, the warmth pressing at my core, but not entering. His breath hitches. “You are, I think. Even if I rarely trust anyone.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you trusted me with your truths,” he replies, pulling away to look me in the eye. “You feel better now, don’t you?”
My stomach flips as I look into his eyes. “I don’t even remember where it hurts anymore.”
Aidan smiles. “We’ll have to repeat your pain management treatments daily.”
Licking my lips, I say, “Thank you. I don’t think you realize how much tonight has meant to me.”
Eyes narrowed, he studies me, like he’s trying to fish a lie. A rash of unwarranted self-conscious nerves winds around me. “You’re the one taking a chance on a bad boy,” Aidan says, cocking his head to the side and cupping my face in his big hands. Hazel eyes dip down, and a haunting glow replaces the sweet one. “You hold all the risk.”
“I also hold all of the reward then,” I reply, pressing my lips together.
“Fuck, Magnolia,” Aidan hisses before pulling my mouth to his. “I want all of you.”
There has never been anything easier than living, and feeling in this moment.
Nothing.
Chapter Seven
Aidan
“YOU CAN’T FUCKING TALK like that when she gets here, bro,” I rasp at my friend after he used several four-letter words to describe his most recent hookup. He’s tending the grill, flipping burgers with the precision of a surgeon. “She’ll be here in ten minutes and I’m about to shit my pants.” I have never, not once, been in the scenario where I’m introducing a woman to my friends, the SEALs who I share everything with. It’s scary and disconcerting, it feels like I’m turning a corner at a million miles per hour when I wasn’t planning on taking that turn. It can’t be bad. This has to be moving forward, the progression of two people who get along and want to spend time together. The reason I didn’t introduce the women from my past to my brothers is because I didn’t trust the chicks enough not to jump into bed with my teammates.
Maybe it’s a case of low self-esteem, maybe it’s the product of selecting horrible women to spend my time with. All I know right now is that Magnolia is different. She won’t want to fuck my friends, but my friends might fuck me by saying something stupid. I want to protect Magnolia. From her past. From brutal words that can be avoided. I want to protect her from everything I can. She’s been through so much.
“Don’t shit your pants. I won’t say anything,” Mercer drawls, his southern accent strong. Mercer is a good ole boy through and through. As testament, he is wearing a pair of worn-in cowboy boots with black board shorts. The entirety of his massive upper body is covered in dark blue ink. My name is in there somewhere, as are a few other teammates who were on a particular mission where he almost lost his life. Narrowing my eyes, I locate my name, right next to a big fat tit on a pinup girl’s forehead. Sighing, I shake my head. Mercer.
He waves the spatula in his hand like it’s a fairy wand or some shit, and spits into a brown tinged Pepsi bottle. “You’re so magical now. A girlfriend. That’s some unbelievable shit. I can’t take your word for it. I need to hear it from her mouth. You understand my reasons.”
I grunt in response and re-stack the bags of buns on top of the plates.
Every once in a while, we’ll grill out at the beach on our base. The group gets a little smaller with each passing month. When my brothers get girlfriends, they have better things to do than shoot the shit at work in their free time. Tahoe and Leif, my two best friends are home with their women. I’m trying to prove that even if I add a woman to my life, I can still hang. Nothing will change. I won’t let it. When Mercer starts dancing, gyrating his pelvis in my direction while singing a made-up song about my dick and manhood, I wave him off.
I grab two beers from the large, stainless steel cooler, and walk down to the hard-packed beach sand. Tahoe built a few picnic tables that we drag out of a storage shed for occasions such as this. I sit at the
one that’s empty and contemplate every single decision that led to this night. It’s odd—a shock to everyone that knows me.
Colton, a SEAL who was recently transferred to Bronze Bay from Harbour Point, our base in Cape Cod, collapses onto the table in front of me. “I’m feeling so emo these days. It’s the heat. I’m never going to get used to it. Thank God we don’t actually work here.”
“Your flair for dramatics is impressive. You get used to the heat,” I reply, smirking. Magnolia’s naked, sweaty body comes to mind and I have to control my wild thoughts. “There are tradeoffs. Jaws isn’t prowling here.”
“The sharks never fuck with us,” he counters. “The chicks are hot here, but I miss the northern weather. I was in San Diego before Harbour Point, remember that. The sun is manic here,” Colton says, moaning. He’s shirtless, wearing a pair of black issued workout shorts that hit thigh high. The sun is already set and he’s still complaining. It’s amusing. “Is dinner almost ready?”
“Yes, darling. It’s almost ready,” I coo in a sarcastic voice. “Are you going out after we eat?” I ask, curious if they are prowling tonight like I used to. It’s not jealousy that drives the question because the mere thought of the work that goes into hooking up for one night and ditching them is pretty extensive. There’s always the risk of a stage one clinger, like Wildcat.
Colton sits up and rests on his elbows. “I don’t know. It’s so hot. I might just go home and turn the A/C as high as it will go and see if I can break the unit. That sounds like a good time, doesn’t it?”
“No,” I deadpan. “It doesn’t. But you’ve always been a bit of a pussy, so it doesn’t surprise me.”
“Fuck you, man. Speaking of, aren’t you the one banging the same pussy every night?”
I scoff. “No.” The lie came without my permission.
“No?” Colton quirks a brow and then aims his gaze up toward base. I turn my head and glimpse Magnolia standing in a group of guys. There’s a couple of other women mixed in, but it’s primarily my teammates. Slamming the rest of my beer, I jump up and jog to the powwow just in time to hear Mercer’s high pitched chuckle.
“And that’s when I knew there was no other job for me,” Mercer finishes, flexing his bicep in an over-exaggerated way.
I roll my eyes and groan. “Is this buffoon bothering you?” I ask, snaking an arm around Magnolia, claiming her.
Her eyes light when mine meet hers. The crackle of sexual tension buzzes where my clothed body presses against hers. “No, he was just explaining the finer nuances of grilling,” Magnolia says, smiling wide. “I think?”
Glaring at Mercer, I thump him on the shoulder harder than a friendly tap.
“Hey man, you weren’t here to greet your woman, so I did it for you. It was a pleasure to meet you, Magnolia Sager. I look forward to visiting your shop soon.” Mercer bows, putting the spatula against his chest.
“He’s not right in the head. Too many explosions,” I counter. “Let me properly introduce you to everyone,” I say, my words clogging in my throat. Am I doing it right? Can she tell I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing—mixing two worlds without an instruction manual.
“Calm down,” Magnolia whispers as I guide her by her elbow away from the crowd. “I’m here for a cheeseburger, Aidan.”
Closing my eyes, I sigh. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This isn’t a big deal.”
“It’s really not. Normal, average people do this sort of thing all the time. Introducing one friend to another. It’s casual,” Magnolia says, squeezing my hand in hers. “You like that word, right?”
When we’re far enough away, I spin her toward me. “There’s nothing normal about me. Or average about you. There’s nothing casual about us. I’ve never done this before,” I admit, trying to control my heart rate. “I don’t have family. This is the equivalent of you meeting my mother.”
Magnolia laughs, her bright white smile melting away any residual fears that linger. “I’m honored to meet your mother. Even if she’s a beastly six foot four shirtless creature who wears boots to the beach. It’s a bit odd, but you know, I can’t judge.”
“Mercer is a little much. It would have been better if we started introductions with the tamer variety.” I see a few who meet that criteria and flag them over. I introduce Magnolia to them and they are gracious, and for reasons I can’t fathom, they don’t try to fuck me over. They only say good things about me, talk me up. Magnolia is animated as she asks questions about their lives and our chosen career. They answer, and one by one, I see the spark, the glamour in their eyes as they see what I do—recognize Magnolia for what she is and mostly for what she is not.
She’s safe enough enveloped in Colton’s rant about humidity and sweat, so I grab a couple burgers from the grill, tuck beers under my arms and find an empty spot at a picnic table. I fix the burgers, trying to sort what I think Magnolia would like on her burger, in the end, I fix it the same as mine: all the way. I’m walking over to tell her it’s ready, but Leo stops me, a tight hand on my arm. “I got second dibs,” he says eyes never leaving Magnolia. The nefarious flicker warns me he’s serious.
“Fuck you, Leo. This is a no dibs thing. She is not the kind of woman we normally hang out with. You know that though, or you wouldn’t be interested.” It’s a new relationship so my single friends will test the boundaries. Will we take sloppy seconds in a different scenario? Sure. If it’s a one-night stand, chances are we’ve double dipped unaware. “Stay away from her,” I say, driving my point home. “Magnolia is off limits.”
“Is she?” Leo smirks, and my stomach coils. Why do I care that he’s being a smarmy bastard? I’ve been the same smarmy bastard in the past when I was younger. I get it now—how a woman, the right woman, can change almost everything in the blink of an eye. Leo is heading to Harbour Point soon. He was a trade for Colton, to keep the bases evenly staffed. He’s from Cape Cod and has been trying to work his way back there since he recently graduated BUD/s. He is a fresh nineteen years old and doesn’t have any limits—a mere child in the arena of seasoned pros. If our current conversation has anything to say about his maturity level, he has much to learn. And he will probably learn it the hard way.
“Leo. I’m fucking serious,” I growl under my breath when I see Magnolia peering around Colton’s shoulder to catch my eye. “Stay the fuck away from Magnolia.”
“I will stay the fuck away from Magnolia,” he says repeating my words back to me, slithering away, back from the shadows he crept from. My skin prickles and I fucking hate the feeling. Throwing up a hand, I hike my thumb over my shoulder at the table. Magnolia excuses herself from Colton’s whining tirade and approaches. Her tank top is tight, and her shorts are short. The light from the scattered tiki torches lends just enough to make her glow. As she walks toward me, she looks like an angel, one that every other man here is watching in this moment. Her smile is only for me, her gaze all fucking mine and all hesitations melt away. Her gait pauses when she’s standing in front of me.
“Burgers ready?” she asks, licking her lips.
I take her face in my hands, a tender gesture I’d second guess any other time given the circumstances, and I shock all of these bastards when I lean in and kiss Magnolia with pent-up passion. She folds into me, pressing her body against mine, her chin tipped up to take anything I’ll give her.
When I pull away from the kiss her eyes look glazed over. She’s turned on, and my pulse ratchets up in response. I keep my hand on her face and say, “Burgers are ready, but more importantly, you are so fucking beautiful.”
She swallows hard. “You’re making me blush.”
“You’re making me crazy,” I counter, grinning.
“I’ve missed you,” she says, keeping her voice low. She senses all of the eyes and ears on us. “Maybe we can get out of here after we eat?” she says. “I only have a couple hours. Kendall is at a fundraiser meeting at the high school. I need to pick her up in a bit.”
> I nod. I get it now. Why Tahoe and Leif aren’t here. How the world shifts, tilts, in favor of the person who grants you the most happiness. “Let’s eat, my place after.”
Magnolia comments how good the cheeseburger is, and I mentally pat myself on the back for my choice in condiments. She asks me questions about the guys in between bites, but we put the burgers and beer down in record time. “Now is the time when we either pop smoke or start telling everyone goodbye,” Magnolia says. “Creep out, or make a show of it? I want them to like me, so maybe we say bye.” She tosses the options back and forth in her mind, I see her balancing the pros and cons of each. When her gaze lights on mine, she knows what I’m thinking, and that makes her decision easy.
“We can go up the dock on the other side. There aren’t torches over there so it will be dark. You up for an adventure?” I say, nuzzling her ear with my nose. She leans into my face, and I kiss her neck. Her lavender perfume mixed with sweat. It might as well be toxic. My mouth waters.
“I’ll never say no to adventure,” she counters. “Especially with you.” After I toss our garbage in the big can, I return to Magnolia and grab her hand. When we’re far enough away, and the blackness takes over our sight, I pull her up onto my back. She giggles, and tightens her grip around my neck.
The waves roll against the shore softly—a lulling sound as opposed to the angry Pacific Ocean break. The moon lights the way as I listen to Magnolia breathe gently by my ear. It’s a peace I am not used to knowing. Sure, there are moments of still silence, moments I reflect about how far I’ve come, but peace hasn’t ever been mine. There’s always, in some form or another, a shouting of protest—a war of unease that beats at my chest, a wrongly accused prisoner begging to be set free.
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