by Eric Nixon
   Swear Barrier
   Out with a group of people
   That I don’t know very well
   Kind of cautious
   Kind of on edge
   To watch my mouth
   And what I’ve said
   And then someone breaks it
   Blows right through the norms
   Lets loose with a swear or two
   Like it was nothing
   And from that point on
   There’s no looking back
   The swear barrier has been broken
   Shattered in tatters on the floor
   It’s ok to say those words now
   The water’s been tested
   No one’s been offended
   So feel free to swear at will
   Let loose and say it all
   October 5, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   Kind of an unwritten thing with me. I will never be the first one to swear in a group of people I don’t know very well. Mostly out of politeness, but I also never want to offend someone who might find vulgarities offensive. 
   Violated The Unspoken Rule
   Driving up I-95
   Into New Hampshire
   When I felt the need
   And it was then when
   I saw the rest stop
   So I pulled in and parked
   So I walked in and parked
   In front of the first one
   Along a long wall of porcelain
   I stood there staring
   Straight ahead at the tiny
   Tiny graffiti written in 
   The grout in front of me
   Where someone wrote
   “Taco” in little letters
   Trying to figure out why
   When someone stood
   Right next to me
   Obviously not seeing
   The ten empty urinals
   Stretching down the wall
   Violating the unspoken rule
   Breaking the code we all
   Follow pretty basic it seems
   That we always leave an
   Empty one in between
   Maybe he wanted to read
   What I was reading
   Maybe he was just an idiot
   Who likes pissing
   Off other guys by violating
   The unspoken rules
   We all live by
   Either way I was happy
   To get back in my car
   And get back to driving
   October 6, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   This happened to me today while driving back from the Topsfield Fair and Newburyport. 
   
   Putting On Wet Clothes
   I don’t want to 
   Be here 
   Be the one
   Dealing with you
   Anytime 
   All the time
   In this situation
   Especially 
   It’s as difficult as
   Putting on wet clothes
   Something you 
   Don’t want to do
   All cards on the table
   It’s annoying
   It’s uncomfortable
   It’s grating
   Somewhat unstable
   It’s not for me
   I like my clothes
   Dry and warm
   Not cold and wet
   No use having a wet blanket
   Smothering smoldering
   The fire that I feel
   So if you don’t mind
   I’d like to toss you
   In the dryer and get on
   With the rest of my day
   October 13, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   Not really written about any one person or situation in particular. I was getting dressed today and I was thinking about washing clothes for some reason and I was slightly thankful that my clothes were dry. Then I started to think about how annoying and grating it is to put on wet clothes. That thought stuck with me for the rest of the day until I wrote this. 
   Writing Is Life
   A sliver of slightly
   The tiniest twinges
   The smallest of smidgeons
   The nimblest nuances
   Of what I see
   Of what I observe
   Become the 
   Piles of perfection
   Superfluous subdivisions 
   Hugest of happenstance
   That I write
   That I get out
   Of the experience
   Since observing
   Becomes writing
   And writing is
   A reflection of life
   Therefore
   Writing is life
   October 19, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   I didn’t set out to make such a huge declaration with this poem. It was a random thought, which became more. 
   Seasonal Lag
   Fully immersed in 
   A sea of colors
   A week past their prime
   Fading and falling
   Paired with a crisp chill
   During the sunny days
   Lacking the warmth
   Despite the sun’s best efforts
   College kids are done
   With their midterms
   Autumn is half over
   And here I am
   As I always am
   Wondering what happened
   To that last season
   Where did it go
   Where was I
   When it said goodbye?
   Probably at work
   And the few times I find
   Myself free is when I find
   My world has changed
   Around me without telling me
   The last to know once again
   Finding myself fully entrenched
   In my usual 
   And now predictable
   Seasonal lag
   October 20, 2003
   Methuen, Massachusetts
   Another poem that popped into my mind while eating lunch in the car. 
   Small Town Strip Mall
   Small town strip mall
   With a parking lot made 
   For a time when 
   This was where everyone shopped
   A time before 
   The modern stores
   Dug in a few miles away
   I sit here looking at
   A parking lot way too big
   Cars crisscrossing across
   I’m amazed no one hits each other 
   In front of the one long continuous building
   Housing the second rate stores
   A nail salon on the left side
   With the blue and red neon
   Burning brightly in the twilight
   A dry cleaner aptly named Royal
   As if it could bring the missing elegance 
   To this forgotten, forsaken place
   A pizza place known only in
   The New England area
   The kind of place with
   The kind of food that makes you
   Wonder why they’re still open
   A chain pharmacy store where
   You won’t be surprised to see
   The sign with the letter ‘P’
   That burnt out some time ago
   The big store in the middle
   Closed last spring, I think
   “Anchor away!” I say seeing
   The big empty spot in the 
   Smack dab in the middle
   Then the generic liquor store
   With the non-descript sign
   Simply stating, Liquors
   Perfect for those shoppers 
   Who are wishing to remain 
   Anonymous, I’m guessing
   Then there’s the small local
   Bank that is one of a few 
   Branches they have at all
   Followed by the low-end
   Supermarket that takes the word
   The word ‘super’ and exaggerates it
   Behin
d me, across the large
   Empty parking lot is the 
   McDonald’s which sits there
   Alone like it’s trying to 
   Distance itself
   Further itself
   From the strip mall over there
   Because it’ll bruise or tarnish
   Ronald’s reputation or something
   I don’t like this place much
   But sadly, it’s in a good location
   And easy to get to so I continue
   To come here every once in a while
   October 21, 2003
   Methuen, Massachusetts
   I stopped to McDonald’s off of Exit 46 off of I-93 tonight for two, well, three reasons: I was hungry, I wanted more of the McDonald’s Monopoly game pieces, and the traffic was awful on I-93. After I ate I sat there for a few minutes, looked at the crappy strip mall, and pulled out my Palm Pilot, getting to work on this poem. 
   Mind The Importance
   Trying to remember the thoughts
   That flowed so freely earlier today
   Like cheap crappy American beer
   At any conveniently located frat party
   Sitting here at the ready to write
   And take the cool words and phrases
   And run with them like I usually do
   At lunch there seemed to be more
   Ideas than lies at a good employee’s firing
   But stupid me I forgot to write them 
   Forgot to record them 
   Because I thought
   I could remember them 
   Or actually didn’t think 
   And that’s the problem
   I had trusted my mind
   To mind the importance
   Of the amazing lines
   That raced across
   So fleetingly
   And faded from
   The forefront by
   My wandering mind
   As I let unimportant things
   Get in the way of what
   I should have tried
   To dearly hold
   Onto tightly
   October 22, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   Heh. I can so totally tell where I got the idea to write the poem “Burning Question” because that’s when I lost the steam on this one. I left to write the other one and when I got back I was like “uhhh…what was I trying to say?” How appropriate that it happened on this of all poems. 
   Lemon
   Feel the winter in this song
   Spinning disc thinks me back
   Winter in college
   Ten years now
   Contrasting elements
   The lemon of the song
   The summery citrusy it sings
   The snow of the outside
   The wintery chilly it brings
   Looking out the wide window
   Out onto Lower Lake
   Her roommate gone
   For the night
   For the weekend
   Just us after the fun
   Candles flicking low
   Her cutely asleep
   Me happily awake 
   Looking at her then
   Looking at the pond
   And the winter that surrounds
   Into the distance at Mount Tom
   Noticing the silence that pervades
   The season, the selection that I’ve
   Chosen to look over and watch
   The wind blow lightly
   The trees sway slightly
   College lights brightly
   Burning all the while
   Knowing that it’s so
   Freezing out there
   And I’m in here
   Enjoying the difference
   And watching 
   As the Five College bus 
   Starts to interrupt and diesel its way
   Across campus 
   Across my view
   It’s the last bus of the night 
   And I’m not on it
   I’m here happy in the warmth
   Satiated with my being
   Happy with what I’m seeing
   Satisfied with everything
   Pristine perfect picture 
   Playing through my mind
   This scene can never end
   And it never does
   Continually reliving
   Always replaying 
   Every time I hear
   Lemon
   October 25, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   Very true. Whenever I hear the song “Lemon” by U2 it totally takes me back to a winter late night/early morning at Mount Holyoke College. 
   Off In The Foggy Somewhere
   I’m so totally close to something big
   As to what, I have absolutely no idea
   Something huge lurking moving
   Off in the foggy somewhere
   Always close and ever present
   An idea that I need to latch onto
   Clutch tightly and never let go
   Waiting for it patiently
   Waiting for it hopefully and 
   When the inevitable happens
   When it comes across my range
   When it comes within my sights
   When I see it 
   I need to realize it
   I need to seize it
   I need to capture it
   I need to make it mine
   October 25, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   A random poem for a random night.
   Clifford Remains
   Institutions leaving
   That have been here
   For over 200 years
   Being bought out
   Being swallowed up
   By bigger companies
   From other places 
   They don’t know
   About the history 
   They don’t care
   About what we think 
   In all of this
   I guess it’s just
   Dog-eat-dog
   Until only 
   Clifford remains
   October 27, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   FleetBank was bought by Bank Of America today.
   Fulcrum
   The pivotal point
   On which everything
   Rests, turns, 
   And is judged upon 
   Is difficult to obtain
   Is hard to ascertain
   The specific moment
   As to when one
   Became the other
   When the future
   We looked forward to
   Became the a fond
   Memory in the past
   Everything in life
   Rests on one fulcrum
   After another 
   When you’ve reached
   The very last one
   It’s time to step off
   It’s time to stop
   The ups and downs
   That life is made up of
   It’s time to stop
   Playing games with 
   Each one kind of fun
   In it’s own right but now
   It’s time to say goodbye
   That you’re finally done
   October 27, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   I was walking out of my room and the word “fulcrum” popped into my mind so I ran back and wrote. 
   Hedgehog Water Bottle
   Thought I heard a sound
   I haven’t heard in years – 
   Hedgehog water bottle
   The metal on metal
   Click click clicking
   Fast like a machine gun
   Constantly without end
   But I was wrong I guess
   It was my brother 
   In the other room 
   Clicking on a mouse
   October 27, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   I could have sworn that I heard the familiar sound of a hedgehog drinking from a water bottle, but it was only Todd using his (loud) mouse 
in the other room. 
   Simple Salsa Excursion
   Reaching in
   With a sturdy-looking chip
   My assumptions turn me
   Into that pre-warned ass
   As during the down stroke
   The crack cracks loudly
   The eyes open widely
   In amazed disbelief
   As I pull out to find
   Half the chip I sent in.
   Tipping the jar to see
   Where the rest might be
   The simple salsa excursion
   Becomes a rescue mission
   Needing to recover
   Wanting to get back
   That bottom half
   That lay stuck in
   The quagmire of 
   Tomato and red.
   Lesser people would 
   Have left it for dead
   Soggy at the bottom
   Of the jar, forgotten
   But I have experience
   And I have patience
   My years pitted against
   The jar before me
   I scoop, I rescue,
   And I win
   This time it went well
   What about the next time?
   Will it go so smoothly
   Or will my fingers
   Get kind of dirty
   As I have to reach in
   In order to pull out
   The rest of the chip
   October 28, 2003
   Manchester, New Hampshire
   I was eating cheap chips and the Desert Pepper Trading Company Black Bean Dip when a chip snapped. Since Salsa seemed to be the more normal accompaniment, I wrote about that instead. 
   November
   30 Is The New 20
   Delayed adulthood
   30 is the new 20
   Showing how life
   Now isn’t so funny
   Grown up and living
   Back again at home
   Like some kind of infection
   Here for this generation
   Can’t afford to leave the nest
   Living with mom and dad
   Working, hoping for the best
   We know the economy is bad
   But seeing young professionals
   Living like high school is sad
   Asking mommy to
   Borrow money really
   Isn’t so funny when
   You’re almost thirty
   Too many of those in Gen X
   Have ended up regressed
   Socially and economically
   And it makes me wonder what’s next
   November 2, 2003