by B R Snow
“I think that’s the one with the brandy,” he said, handing me one of the mugs. “You just come from the memorial service?”
“Yeah. Not one of my favorite things to do,” I said, taking a sip.
“Imagine how the guy in the box feels.”
Josie came in the front door dripping water all over the mat in the foyer. She shook her umbrella then closed it and removed her rain slicker. She headed straight for the dogs and got the same reaction I did.
“You know what I like best about days like this?” she said, hugging Al.
“Nothing?”
“Exactly. Well, you were right. Your mother has invited six guys to dinner at her place in Grand Cayman the day we arrive.”
“I knew it,” I said. “Did she say who they were?”
“The usual suspects. A couple of lawyers, a banker, and some guys from one of the embassies down there,” she said, looking up from the dogs and getting her first look at my waitress outfit. “Can I get a cup of coffee, please, Rocco?”
“No comments about what I’m wearing?”
“No, I’m speechless,” Josie said. “But I probably would have gone with the chef uniform. You get to wear that cool hat.”
The front door opened again, and Rooster and Coke Bottle stepped inside. They hung their coats up and entered the lounge. Coke Bottle stood near the entrance to the lounge, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light, then sat down next to Rooster at the bar.
“Hi, Rooster,” Rocco said. “What can I get you guys?”
“Two double shots of Remy Martin, thanks.”
“You got it,” Rocco said, pouring the drinks.
“Ain’t you gonna ask me what I want?” Coke Bottle snapped.
Rooster sighed loudly and slid one of the drinks over to Coke Bottle.
“Oh, sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t know one of them was for me.”
“Rocco,” Rooster said. “I’d like you to meet my idiot cousin, Walter.”
“Nice to meet you, Walter.”
“Yeah, right back at ya’,” Coke Bottle said, glaring at Rooster. “And I’m not an idiot. I’m just a little slow on the intake.”
“Uptake,” Rooster whispered, then downed his drink.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Josie and I pulled two barstools next to them, and the four of us sat in a small circle at the bar. We both ordered red wine when Rooster ordered two more doubles of Remy.
“Aren’t you going to give me a menu?” Coke Bottle said, squinting at me.
“Actually, I don’t work here. Don’t you remember me?”
“Yeah, I recognize you two. You’re the dog ladies,” Coke Bottle said, squinting. “Sorry I took your dogs.”
“Again,” Josie said.
“Yeah. But you got ‘em back both times. Rooster, I’m hungry.”
“Memorial services always make you hungry, too?” Josie said.
“What?” Coke Bottle said, squinting in Josie’s general direction.
“Don’t worry about a menu,” Rooster said. “We’ll grab a bite later.”
“Walter, your glasses fascinate me,” I said. “Would you mind if I had a look at them?”
“What for?”
“I’d just like to see what it’s like to look through them,” I said, casually. “The lenses are so thick.”
“I think I need a new pair,” Coke Bottle said. “I’m having problems seeing things off in the distance.”
“Call NASA,” Josie said.
“What?” he said, frowning as he handed me his glasses.
“Wow,” I said, holding them in my palm. “They’re really heavy.”
“Tell me about it. You should try wearing them around all day.”
“They need to be cleaned,” I said, hopping down off the barstool.
“Hang on,” Coke Bottle said, reaching into his pocket. “I’ve got a cloth right here.”
“That’s okay,” I said, heading for the bar and grabbing a cloth napkin.
Coke Bottle glanced around completely disoriented. He started waving his hands in an attempt to get his bearings. Josie leaned back in her barstool as his hands drifted close to her face. I slowly approached and stood next to him.
“Here you go, Walter,” I said, loudly.
Startled, he swung around on his barstool and flailed his arms in the air. One of them landed, and I fell and somersaulted across the floor. I managed to get to my knees and grimaced as I tried to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry,” Coke Bottle said, still waving his arms around. “I didn’t see you there.”
“Are you okay?” Rocco said, helping me to my feet.
“I’m fine,” I said, checking my ribs for damage, “You pack quite a wallop, Walter. I’m just glad you weren’t holding a knife.”
Coke Bottle stopped flailing and sat quietly as tears began to form in his eyes. I placed the glasses in his hand, and he slowly put them back on. He looked at Rooster, tears now streaming down his face. I heard the sound of the front door slowly opening, and Chief Abrams appeared at the entrance to the lounge.
“I got your message,” he said, glancing around and nodding hello to Rocco and Josie.
I held up a hand indicating that I wanted him to stay where he was for the moment. Coke Bottle’s shoulders began to quake, and despite my contempt for him and the things he did, I felt a tinge of sympathy as I watched him deflate.
“Is there anything you want to tell me, Walter?” Rooster said, softly.
“It was an accident, Rooster,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. But you gotta believe me, it was an accident. I’d never do anything to hurt Jerry.”
“I know you wouldn’t, Walter,” Rooster said. “You panicked when the lights went out, and your glasses fell off, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“And the knife?” Rooster said, sounding as if he were trying to comfort a distraught child.
“I was using it to eat an apple,” he said, then wailed loudly. “You don’t need a knife to eat an apple. Why did I do something stupid like that, Rooster?”
“Walter, it’s just what you do.”
“What are you gonna do, Rooster?”
“That’s a very good question.” Rooster glanced at Chief Abrams. “Chief?”
Chief Abrams walked over and leaned against the bar.
“This is one of those parts of the job I hate,” he said. “I’m sorry, Walter, but I need to bring the state police in. They’re going to talk with you, and you’ll need to explain everything that happened in the hunting camp. Then they’re probably going to arrest you and decide if they want to charge you with involuntary manslaughter.”
“But it was an accident,” Coke Bottle said, his eyes pleading.
“That’s why it’s called involuntary, Walter,” Chief Abrams said.
“Oh. If I get convicted, what am I looking at?”
“Probably at least a year, plus probation,” Chief Abrams said. “But if you get a good lawyer, you might be able to plea it down.”
“I can’t afford a good lawyer.”
“Leave that one to me, Walter,” Rooster said, patting him on the shoulder. “Now just sit there quietly and wait for the state police.”
Rooster waved his finger at Rocco to indicate another round of drinks. Chief Abrams walked into the dining room to make his phone call. Fifteen minutes later, two state policemen arrived, and they huddled briefly with Chief Abrams. Then they approached Walter, and he slowly got down off the barstool and put his hands behind his back.
“I’m so sorry, Rooster,” he said, looking back over his shoulder as he was led away in handcuffs.
“Yeah, me too,” Rooster whispered, then tossed back his drink. “I’ll have another, Rocco.”
“Are you going to be okay?” I said, sitting back down.
“I’ll be fine,” Rooster said. “At least now I know what happened and don’t have to worry about trying to track the killers down.”
“R
ooster, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Chief Abrams said, then looked at me. “How the heck did you figure it out?”
“I saw how he reacted to something at the memorial service and just put it together,” I said.
“Impressive,” he said.
“Thanks, but I don’t feel very good about it,” I said. “Look, I’m worn out, so I think I’m going to head home. Unless you’ve got any other questions for me.”
“Just one,” Chief Abrams deadpanned. “Could you tell me what tonight’s specials are?”
Chapter 21
“Schizophrenic, huh?” Josie said as she stared out the front window of the diner.
I slowly lowered my menu and peered over the top at her.
“Is that a self-diagnosis, or the prevailing professional opinion?”
“Funny. I’m talking about the weather,” she said, then transitioned into mock humility. “But if I were to describe my own personality, I think the word to use would be delightful. What do you think?”
“I’d ask for a second opinion if I were you,” I said, raising my menu.
But as far as the weather was concerned, Josie was right. Unlike yesterday’s cold rain and wind that made the adventurous long for the sun and old bones ache, Mother Nature had turned the page and delivered a cloudless blue sky and temperatures in the seventies.
“If we have time after lunch, I thought we’d grab the dogs and take the boat out,” Josie said.
“We better hurry,” I said, setting the menu down. “It’s supposed to snow later today.”
“How is that possible?” she said, again staring out the window. “Here he comes.”
Rooster entered the diner and spotted us right away.
“Sorry I’m a bit late,” he said. “Titan decided he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do battle with a porcupine.”
“Uh-oh. He didn’t get hurt, did he?” Josie said.
“No, but I can’t say the same thing for the porcupine,” Rooster said.
“Did Titan kill it?” I said, grimacing.
“Nah, it managed to escape. But I doubt if it plans on returning to my garage anytime soon.”
Our waitress approached, and we all ordered the corned beef hash. She poured coffee for Rooster and topped ours off, then left.
“Well, Chief was right,” Rooster said. “I just got a call from Walter’s lawyer, and they’re charging him with involuntary manslaughter.”
“I’m sorry, Rooster,” I said.
“He’ll be fine. The lawyer is pretty sure that, given the circumstances and the fact that Chef Claire decided not to press charges for stealing the dogs, he’ll get probation.”
“How long?” I said.
“Three to five years. And maybe six months of house arrest thrown in for good measure.”
“Are you okay with that?” I said.
“As long as he doesn’t spend the six months in my house, I’m fine with it,” Rooster said, adding cream to his coffee. “I told the lawyer to make sure the judge convinces my cousin to spend his probation under the sunny skies of Florida.”
“I wish I could say I was sorry to see him leave,” I said.
Josie’s phone rang, and she answered it on the second ring.
“This is Josie. What? Ah, geez,” she said, shaking her head. “Okay, get prepped for surgery, and I’ll be there in five minutes. Thanks, Jill.”
“What is it?” I said.
“Mrs. Frey’s lab puppy just ate a scouring pad.”
“The kind you clean pots and pans with?” Rooster said.
“That’s the one,” she said. “And a fresh one right out of the box, too. That means in addition to having to swallowed chunks of wire, she might have also poisoned herself.”
“You can’t wait for her to just pass it?” Rooster said.
“No, I need to do everything possible right away to make sure the cleaning solution on those pads doesn’t kill her, and if those metal shards start working their way through her digestive track, it could get ugly in a hurry. I’ll see you later.”
We watched Josie dash out of the diner and speed away in her car.
“That dog’s in good hands,” Rooster said.
“Yeah, it sure is,” I said. “Well, I guess I’m going to need a ride home after breakfast.”
“Couldn’t get yours to cooperate this morning?” Rooster said, laughing.
“Actually, it’s still drying out from yesterday.”
“What is it with you and that SUV?”
“It’s a long story,” I said. “And it’s probably quite silly when you boil it all down.”
“I don’t think it’s silly,” Rooster said.
“You don’t even know the story.”
“No, but I know you. And even when you go off and do something goofy, you always have your reasons,” he said, taking a sip of coffee before continuing. “It’s about your dad, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I said, starting to choke up. “How did you know that?”
“Just a lucky guess. You know,” he said, leaning back and draping an arm across the top of the booth. “I remember the day your dad bought that SUV. We walked into the dealership, and he took one look at it and bought it on the spot. He didn’t even test drive it. Which I thought was crazy. But I guess your dad knew quality when he saw it, huh?”
“You were there with him?”
“I was. You were around twelve at the time if I remember.”
“Thirteen. He died six months after he bought it,” I said, tearing up.
“Yeah. Bad day,” he whispered.
“I had to wait three years before I could even drive it. Now, it’s the last tangible thing I have that keeps him fresh in my mind. I can’t bear to get rid of it.”
“Who says you have to get rid of it? People have been known to own more than one car,” he said.
“I can’t leave a rusting pile of junk sitting outside my house,” I said. “It’s not fair to my neighbors, and they’d have every right to start complaining. And they’d be complaining to the mayor, who just happens to be my mother in case you forgot.”
“Yeah, she wouldn’t appreciate that very much,” he said. “But if your father was here, you know what he’d do, right?”
“Kick my butt for driving around in such an unsafe vehicle?”
“You bet he would.”
“I can’t get rid of it, Rooster.”
“Then don’t. Tell you what, we’ll stash it away in my storage garage, and you can come visit it anytime you like. We’ll even make sure to keep it running so every once in a while you can take it out for a drive. On a day when the sun’s out.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t think of doing something like that,” I said, frowning. “It’s such a simple solution.”
“That’s because you’ve been overthinking it for a couple of years, and now you’ve got yourself completely wrapped around the axle. Just like you’re doing with trying to figure out who stole Chef Claire’s dogs.”
“Well, that mystery should be revealed tonight.”
“Maybe,” Rooster said, glancing off into the distance before focusing back on me. “But we’ve got all day to kill before then.”
“What? You think I should go car shopping today?”
“No, I think we should go car shopping. Right after breakfast.”
“I don’t know, Rooster.”
“Why not?”
“Because… Actually, I don’t have a good reason.”
“It doesn’t matter. I wasn’t going to listen to it anyway,” he said, grinning.
Our waitress arrived with our breakfast. She glanced around the table then looked at me.
“Where’s Josie?”
“She had an emergency surgery to take care of,” I said.
“What should I do with all this food?”
“Just box it up, and I’ll take it with me. Thanks, Sally.”
We ate our breakfast in relative silence, then headed to the Inn so I could grab
my checkbook. I stopped by the surgery area to say a quick hello to Josie and Jill. They barely looked up when I popped my head in, and when I caught a glimpse of what they were doing, I made a beeline for the reception area. I touched base with Sammy and left Josie’s breakfast with him. Then we headed for a dealership about thirty miles away whose owner was a good friend of Rooster and my mom.
Ten minutes into the drive, a thought popped into my head.
“This is the same dealership where my dad bought the SUV, isn’t it?”
“It is,” Rooster said, staring out through the windshield. “Man, it feels like spring today.”
“It’s supposed to snow later.”
“Lucky for you, you’ll be inside a warm and toasty new car,” he said, glancing over at me.
We drove for another ten minutes, and then a lightbulb went off.
“Rooster?”
“Yeah.”
“My mother put you up to this, didn’t she?”
“Yup,” he said without taking his eyes off the road.
“She called you yesterday right after I left the funeral home.”
“Yup.”
“Let me guess. She said something like Rooster, I’ve just about reached the end of my tether with Suzy’s car.”
Rooster laughed and nodded.
“That was good. You’ve got her down.”
“Unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head. “What a piece of work.”
“She does work in mysterious ways.”
“I can’t believe the way she keeps sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong,” I snapped.
“Uh, Suzy, I hope you don’t mind my pointing out the rather ironic nature of your last statement.”
“Yeah, good point,” I said, nodding. “But still.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, this whole thing about the new car was kind of a group vote. And it was unanimous.”
“You’re ganging up on me?”
“Only for your own good,” he said, turning into the dealership and parking right in front of the entrance. “You ready?”
“I suppose.”
“Let’s go have a look at what they’ve got in the showroom,” he said, heading for the entrance.
I followed him inside, glanced around, and then saw it sitting right in the center of the room. I walked up to it and gently ran my hand over the hood. It was forest green with tan leather seats, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it.