by Shona Husk
Sienna looked at him for a moment. This was no longer just about sex. She knew that, but she didn’t know how far she wanted to take it. Was Alex busy planning a future? “What if this doesn’t work?”
“Then it doesn’t work. I never married on Earth because I didn’t have anything. My job was dangerous, the pay was slightly above starving and I didn’t want a family. Maybe I should have. But if I had, I wouldn’t have met you, and you’re making me wonder if I should reconsider my bachelor status.”
She kept the surprise off her face. Prisoners couldn’t marry until they were free, unless they had very special approval. He had four years to serve on Solitaire. Would they still be alive in four years? Her gaze flicked to the maps.
“There are no promises where we’re going.”
“I know.” He placed his hand on her lower back. “But having someone to share the experience with would mean a lot.”
She looked at the plan of the settlement again, but didn’t take anything in. Instead, she thought about the kind of life she might have with Alex. What would happen if they lived together? They’d end up with kids. Was it fair to have kids so far from home? She realized she was still thinking of Earth as home. Solitaire was home now. She had to stop looking backward, but the future was so uncertain it left her paralyzed. “It scares the hell out of me.”
“It makes me kind of excited. We get to try again—fresh slate.”
That wasn’t entirely true. “But we’re still using the same chalk, the same board, and the same letters.” People like Zane would still be there. Others would want divisions, some arbitrary line to prove that they were better than everyone else. And people like her and Alex would still be forced to obey.
The orders had never chafed before, but then, they hadn’t interfered with her life so closely. Now her job bled across everything. If she wanted to progress she needed to go around Zane. He wasn’t going to like it. Would he take it out on Alex again?
Was it fair to keep putting Alex at risk? She should walk away, but she didn’t want to. It wasn’t fair that she had to give up what she wanted. What else would Zane take?
She already knew the answer. Everything. He’d keep shrinking the boundaries until she couldn’t move. Until she ended up with his hands around her throat again.
Her breath caught. She couldn’t live like that.
“What’s wrong?” Alex frowned.
“Nothing. Just be careful. There’s a dangerous drug on board.”
“I know.” He looked more closely at her. “Is something going on?”
She shook her head. “Yes, but I don’t want to involve you further.”
“You’re in trouble for seeing me.”
She closed her eyes, unable to answer.
Alex kissed her cheek. She turned her head to catch his lips, needing to taste him one more time. Alex was becoming a constant in her life. Calm and stable, no matter what was going on. His arms slid around her and she let herself be drawn closer, needing his strength. She’d never needed anyone before.
But where Zane had tried to take away her free will and control her, Alex was there for her, offering nothing but support.
“The women on Earth don’t know what they’ve lost.” She knew exactly what she’d be losing.
“I don’t care about them.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to my room?” His hands slid to her butt and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I think you’re just using me for sex,” she said with a grin. While that might have been true once, it wasn’t anymore.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. That clearly wasn’t what he wanted to hear from her, but she wasn’t ready to say anything else. Revealing how she felt would make her vulnerable, and she didn’t like that feeling at all. Even though she liked the way his arms felt around her, and the way he kissed her, there was still too much between them. Zane was still between them. He was a threat that couldn’t be erased.
She should never have let her heart get involved with Alex.
“I want more than that, Sienna.” He let her go, then tugged at his yellow shirt. “I know it’s not easy, and I know you probably get a dozen better offers every day, but I like you—probably more than I have the right to.”
She did get offers, but most weren’t serious—at least, she hoped they weren’t—and she’d accepted none. Those men hadn’t interested her the way Alex did. She had to start trusting someone, instead of expecting to be screwed over. “As long as we are together, you’ll be a target.”
“I get that. But that’s not a reason for us not to be together.”
No, but there are plenty of others. She didn’t say anything.
“Unless you’ve had enough.”
She hadn’t had enough of Alex, but as long as she was with someone, it would draw Zane’s attention. Things hadn’t started unraveling until she’d started sleeping with Alex.
Alex shook his head. “I might be the one in yellow, but you’re much more a prisoner than I am, because you let yourself be locked up.”
Zane was her commanding officer. What else was she supposed to do? “So did you. You chose to be here.”
“Yeah, I did. And I’d do it again. But you aren’t making choices, you’re running scared.”
Maybe if his lover had tried to choke him to death, he’d be more cautious too. Or if he’d seen the effects of sexmeth firsthand … If Zane really wanted to get to her, he would, and he’d take Alex down in the process.
“What would you have me do?”
Alex didn’t answer. He knew as well as she did that there was nothing she could do.
“I’ll see you round.” She turned on her heel and walked away.
He didn’t even try to call her back. That cut the deepest.
If what they had was worth saving, someone should be fighting for it. But neither of them was. Perhaps they’d be better off apart.
Chapter Eight
Alex wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened. He watched her walk away, wondering if he should go after her or let her go. There was obviously something going on that she hadn’t wanted to share with him.
The walls she had around her were more secure than most towers. He shook his head, not knowing what to do, or how to help her. Maybe there was nothing he could do—except stay out of her way. He touched the clear covering over his wound. He certainly didn’t want to cross Lieutenant Zane again. But he didn’t want to lose Sienna either.
He made his way back to his room. The atmosphere in C zone was different to the prison. People were in their rooms, doors open, going about their lives. But they still watched him, weren’t sure of him. Sienna didn’t trust him, not entirely. He’d never hated prison quite as much as he did in that moment. But there was no way out other than doing his time and making it to the end. Following his plan.
But what if he didn’t?
What if he confronted Lieutenant Zane and wrapped his hands around his throat. Alex’s fingers curled, then he remembered Lopez’s warning and forced his hands to relax. But that didn’t stop the thoughts from forming, or the heat in his blood. He hadn’t gone looking for a fight in over twenty years. Zane had unearthed who he used to be, and he’d love to put those skills to use. Put Zane in the ring.
He pushed open his bathroom door and glanced at the metal around his wrist. It didn’t matter what clothes he wore or what he wanted, as long as the magna-cuffs were on, he was easily controlled and subdued. He wouldn’t get one punch in and Zane would make him suffer.
Alex stripped off his clothes. The yellow-and-black prison uniform was another reminder of how little he had, and how little he had to offer. He was a fool if he thought Sienna would settle for him when she could have anyone she wanted.
But she hadn’t said goodbye. She hadn’t told him they were over. Yes, they’d had a fight … their first. Had she only walked away because it was the only way she could keep them both safe? That didn’t make him feel any better, t
hough. He turned on the water, and was bathed in the hot steam that passed for a shower, but he didn’t enjoy the privacy or the shower as much as he should have.
He should have settled for sex, instead of wanting more.
However, it wouldn’t have made any difference. This had nothing to do with him. It was all about Zane and Sienna. Was Zane forcing his way back into her life? Thoughts of the two of them together were enough to turn Alex’s stomach.
Anything he did would only make things worse. His hands curled into fists he knew he’d never get a chance to use.
Sienna fretted for another day before deciding to do something that on Earth would be close to career suicide. But what were they going to do to her here? Throw her out of an airlock? She was sure Zane would enjoy that.
No, she was a woman, and a medic, and both were in short supply. She was needed. And she wasn’t going to let the rest of her life be dictated by a man on a power trip.
Alex was right, she was scared. She was scared of living on Solitaire. She was scared of being on the ship. She was scared that Zane would make the rest of her life a living hell, just because he could.
The last time she’d tried to stand up to Zane hadn’t gone well. She smoothed her uniform, hoping she looked okay. Making the appointment to see the Major had been easy … almost too easy. She had a moment of doubt. What if the Major was friends with Zane, or their families were close? She could land herself in an even bigger pile of shit.
Really? How much bigger?
Her training was effectively coming to a halt. She’d walked away from Alex, the one person she actually cared about on this ship. What else could go wrong? Even if they demoted her, it would mean almost nothing—there was nothing to spend her pay on anyway.
She could be sent to the women’s prison.
No, that wouldn’t happen. Zane wouldn’t be able to touch her there.
The Major’s office door opened. An officer walked straight out without looking at Sienna, even though she’d snapped a very quick salute. She was in the wrong place.
She walked into the room, surprised to see that the Major still shared his office space.
“Corporal Jade, have a seat.”
“Thank you, Sir.” She perched on the edge of a metal chair.
“Drink?”
Her mouth was dry. But she looked at the water and then at the Major. She didn’t know if she could trust him. “No thank you, Sir.”
“You came to see me. You report to Lieutenant Zane usually?”
She nodded. The words she’d carefully rehearsed dried up on her tongue. She should have taken the water. “I have been doing additional medical training and I’ve reached the point where I’m supposed to do some shifts at the hospital. Lieutenant Zane refused my application.”
The Major frowned as he thumbed through his portacomp, no doubt reading her file. What was in there?
“It says here that you have been late to work and generally unreliable since boarding the ship.”
Her mouth fell open. That was not true.
The Major looked at her for a moment. “And yet all your training has been going very well, and your previous record is also good, up to a point. Is there more to this than what’s on file?”
Sienna tried very hard not to squirm on the chair, and failed. What could she say? The truth? Her cheeks warmed at the thought, and she was sure the scars on her throat were tingling.
Whatever she said was going to sound bad, but saying nothing would be worse. She lifted her gaze and looked at the Major. He had the light-colored skin of the towers, and yet the scars on his hands and face suggested he’d seen trouble at some point in his life. How many of the recent wars had he fought in? Had he been in China when she was?
“On Earth I had a relationship with Lieutenant Zane. It ended badly. I’m sure that there is something in my file about the accusations I made.” She knew there would be—unless Zane’s family had the pull to make them disappear, too.
The Major gave a small nod. Telling the truth had been the right call.
“I’ve started seeing someone on the ship. Zane found out and since then has been making threats.”
“I don’t really want to get involved in personal disputes.”
“He’s using his rank to make sure I can’t do anything.” Her eyes stung, but she refused to cry. She had to be strong. “Sir, I have never been late to work. I have always treated my patients with the utmost concern and respect. None of my cases have been formally reviewed.” If someone had lodged a complaint, she’d have heard about it.
“You’re suggesting that an officer is lying, Corporal?” The Major tapped his portacomp.
She wanted to say yes, but decided to err on the side of caution. She didn’t know exactly what Zane had put in her file, she only knew the end result. “He is making my life as hard and as restricted as possible. He placed me in the med station in the male prison for the duration of the trip.”
The Major considered her for a moment. “What do you think I can do?”
“I just want to complete my training and see my …” Oh God, what was he? Lover? Boyfriend wasn’t right—he was older than her, and they were both adults. “Partner.”
“And who is your partner?”
She knew the Major wasn’t going to like her answer, but if Alex wasn’t embarrassed, she wasn’t going to be either. “Alex Tariel, prisoner 1789. He was recently stabbed in the Rounds that Lieutenant Zane has been arranging.”
“I know about the Rounds. It is better that the tension is relieved in an organized way instead of a riot, don’t you think?”
“I have no problem with the Rounds, Sir. Everyone needs entertainment and a break from routine. But I do object to my partner being stabbed because he was seeing me. I believe it was set up.” She had no way of proving that, but Zane’s threats had made it clear that something was going to happen to Alex.
The Major leaned back in his chair and picked up his portacomp. For several minutes he did nothing but toggle around the screen and read. Sienna sat still and tried to take slow, calm breaths.
“You have put in no formal application for your relationship.”
No, because it was still new and she wasn’t ready to have it on file. “We hadn’t got that far yet.”
The Major handed her a piece of paper. “All prisoners in a relationship with civilian or military need the paperwork. For your protection and theirs. If you intend to pursue this relationship I suggest you get this filled in and submitted … to me please, Corporal.”
“Sir.” She folded the paper and slid it into her pocket, very aware of what the Major wasn’t saying. He had just approved her move to go over Zane’s head.
“I will raise the issue of allowing people to meet their training requirements at the next meeting. I think some job rotation should occur, so people don’t get complacent.”
“That sounds like a very good idea, Sir.”
“Anything else, Corporal?”
“No, Sir.”
“If you have any more, shall we say, personality conflicts, with your immediate commanding officer, please come and see me.”
“Thank you, Sir.” She stood up and left the office, well aware that she was getting away with something.
When Zane found out, he was going to be pissed. But if he knew the Major was watching, he could do nothing but quietly seethe. No, knowing Zane, he’d simply find another target. Someone who wouldn’t push back.
Sienna walked down the corridor between the modules, reading the form. Both of them had to sign it—to prove they were both willing, she supposed. It was also clearly stated that it was not an approval to marry, or cohabitate—those things involved separate paperwork. No, this was just another way the Army kept tabs on what was going on. It was also designed to keep people from claiming a female prisoner as their own without the feeling being mutual. Was she ready to claim Alex? Was he ready to be claimed?
Chapter Nine
Lopez wandered into Ale
x’s room. Alex had stopped thinking of it as a cell, because they didn’t lock him in at night. It had been three days, and Sienna hadn’t been back to see him. He was about ready to go looking for her, even though he knew it would be smarter to stay put.
He’d seen Lieutenant Zane once, in passing. Zane had acted as though Alex didn’t exist.
Alex wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. What was definitely odd was that most of the female prisoners who had been in C zone had disappeared.
“Do you do anything aside from study?” Lopez leaned on the desk and looked over Alex’s work.
“I’m almost caught up.”
“You need to socialize.”
“I’m not sure they want to socialize with me, Sir.” There was still a divide between enlisted and prisoner. And he was the latter, living in the world of the former, which put him in no-man’s-land.
“They will. They’re adapting.” Lopez pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. “I received an application-to-fuck form for you today.”
Alex’s eyebrows shot up. “A what?”
“It seems the infantry were getting a little cozy with the prisoners. They were reminded that without paperwork, they weren’t supposed to be bringing anyone into C zone for recreational activities.”
That explained why most of the women were gone. No one had been doing the paperwork. Would anyone bother filling out forms or would they just take their activities elsewhere?
Lopez pointed at him. “You got a little cozy with an infantry medic.”
Sienna. She’d taken him to her room and had broken the rules—although to be fair, he had already been in C zone that day. The rest of the time he’d seen her in the med station. Why do the form now? He wasn’t in the prison anymore. “I’m already in C zone, and I didn’t know I needed paperwork to have sex.” Wasn’t that a massive invasion of privacy? He reminded himself that as a con, he technically had none.
“You do, because you’re still a lemon drop. It’s supposed to stop us evil Army bastards taking advantage of prisoners.” Lopez placed the form in front of him. “If you don’t want it, don’t sign. You can write at the bottom why you aren’t signing.”